I don’t even watch or know anything about Hockey but god damn if it isn’t the wildest sport in existence. Like, you have these huge dudes, like, over 6 feet tall, 200+ pound guys, whipping around on ice with the grace and poise of professional figure skaters, all while lugging around 10-17 pounds of padding and a fucking stick, that they use to fucking rocket this tiny puck around to each other with pinpoint accuracy. And then in a fraction of a second they could be fucking bare-knuckle brawling, just beating the absolute shit out of each other. And it’s all legal. Like
A hobby of mine is to go onto sports pages of national significance and searching out MMA inspired posts to point out ignorance of MMA haters. I love doing it because they’re so ignorant to the rules and regulations. Here’s a few of my favorite things to say:
“They get concussed all the time! Way too risky!”
Boxers and rugby players have a higher rate of concussions, plus they play on. If a fighter is concussed the fights stopped. Perfect example below. Gus protecting himself, just not fighting back. Fight stopped.
“All it is human dog fighting!”
Actually no, its a mix of many disciplines that are all Olympic grade sports minus Jiu Jitsu. Their are many ringside doctors, cutmen, a referee that stops a bout when a fighter is not fighting back and strict state commissions that regulate the bouts.
“UFC is not a sport."
Well you’re not wrong, its an organisation. The sport is MMA. Like calling football Fifa.
"Boxing has far more rules and regulations.”
“Its pretty much a bare knuckle fight."
The gloves are the furthest thing from bare knuckled. 4 ounce gloves plus a hand wrap. They have to be that small for grappling. Boxing gloves are 20 ounces. Which sounds and according to ‘Fight Science’ is more painful to be hit with. Kicking is also used in MMA by most fighters.
"Its a miracle only one person has been killed!"
Well, more than one has. Sheer fluke accidents happen in every sport, and MMA is actually one of the safest in regards of injury and death. You can get back up in boxing and can recover from being rocked. In MMA if you’re rocked you can get taken down and submitted or the referee will step in way earlier than a boxing referee would.
"The head is targeted all the time!"
Body shots, leg kicks, submissions. Your head is less at risk in MMA than in any other large contact sport. Plus, similar to boxing, its all about someone finding your chin. Not your temple etc. less likely to be concussed in MMA than in boxing.
"Glorified barbarism for simpletons."
MMA fighters are quite intelligent actually. Dominick Cruz has an IQ higher than most and is a very good analyst in all sports. The fighters have to train and remember how to execute a lot of holds and have to have the discipline to make weight. Simpletons isn’t even close.
And finally… “The fighters are bad role models.”
This one just makes me sick that anyone could think it tbh. Many fighters are great to their fans and a vast majority are fantastic people. Ronda Rousey changed the face of womens sports in general, let alone combat sports.
Mae Gjallarfjall & Co. VERSUS: Mae "Perfected". Or: The Time the Magic College Dropout Aced the Final.
Context: So, Mae Gjallarfjall back at it again pissing off my GM with my ridiculous damage power and high rolls. We’re assaulting a Maciedon fortress set up in Gaeleaed (this world’s equivalent of Ireland) with the goal of eliminating the evil “perfected” versions of ourselves and the forest spirit Ferauna. I bashed the gate down and vaporized the guards at the front gate with a well placed Fist of Havoc. We bust inside, and get to my character’s evil clone. We had 4 of our members at the start, but at this point it was just me and Tim the Magician.
GM: So you are in a perfectly square room, with four support pillars holding up the ceiling. Evil Mae turns to look at you and says “I knew you’d come. You can’t resist a fight.”
Me: You’re not wrong, you’re just a bitch.
GM: She screams at you in anger. Roll Initiative for combat order.
Me (OOC): *crits* So that’s a crit. I get three questions. First: What’s her base Bare Knuckles and Block?
GM: Her base is 7, but she gets a -2 to hit rolls and a +2 to damage rolls, so her base is actually both 5 and 9. Her block is a 6.
Me (OOC): What’s her HP?
Me (OOC): Do I currently, due to my time charging up during the Freedman encounter, have a Fist of Havoc ready?
GM: Yes you do.
Me (OOC): Alright, so I’m going to start this shit off by spending two Fate Chips. First I’m going to activate Honor Guard at the ultimate level *rolls for Persuasion and passes check* That gives me and Tim a +3 to my Initiative, Combat stat, and Block for the first 10 turns of combat. I’m then going to run up to the bitch and spend another Fate Chip to activate Ward of Dawn at the ultimate level, which immediately grants me +2 Armor and Damage in the bubble, as well as for 3 turns outside the bubble. And for my last action this turn, I activate Fist of Havoc.
GM: *generic shocked stammering* fucking okay roll Fist of Havoc.
Me (OOC): *rolls my first 40 damage Fist of Havoc* Hey GM, you’re going to hate my guts. That’s a 40. 45 total due to my damage buffs.
GM: Jesus… Alright so you slam Evil Mae for 45 points of damage immediately out the gate. She’s now rolling to punch you. Initiative.
Me (OOC): That’s not a -4, so I notice. Rolling Block. That’s a 6.
GM: You take grazing damage. *rolls* Nevermind, she critfailed the damage roll. She hits your helm and winces in pain from her knuckles hitting your armor.
Me: Looks like all of the brains AND all the brawn went to me.
GM: She screams at you, furious.
Me (OOC): She can be pissed all she wants.
*a couple turns later*
GM: Tim! What are you doing?
Tim (OOC): To what extent am I allowed to interfere with your fight?
Me (OOC): Deal a single point of damage and I will punch you after this fight is over.
Tim (OOC): I want to walk over to Evil Mae and tap her on the shoulder.
GM: She screams in your face after turning to face you.
Tim: Would you like to see a magic trick?
GM: Roll that Magic.
GM: So you reach behind her ear and pull her entire suit of armor out from behind her ear. She looks down in horrified shock to see she no longer has armor. She also has a serious Initiative debuff.
Me: Hey bitch. Rule three of Fight Club: never take your eyes off your opponent. (OOC): I spend another Fate Chip to instantly take Fist of Havoc off cooldown, and Smash her again. *rolls 25 damage*
GM: She looks up, beaten and bloodied. Meta here, she’s 4 points from death.
Me (OOC): I end her with an uppercut. *11 contact, 7 damage*
Bare Knuckle: Ikari no Tekken / Streets of Rage Publisher: SEGA, Tec Toy (BR MD/SMS) Developer: SEGA, Smashing Studios (iOS), M2 (3DS) Platform: Mega Drive / Genesis, Mega CD / Sega CD, Arcade, Master System, Game Gear, GameCube, PlayStation 2, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, Nintendo 3DS, iOS Year: 1991 (JP/EU MD, Genesis, Arcade), 1992 (BR MD, JP/NA/EU GG, NA Sega CD), 1993 (BR GG, EU SMS, JP/EU Mega CD), 2005 (JP PS2/GCN), 2009 (NA/EU/AUS PS3/360, iOS), 2013 (3DS)
“So,” he said, clearing his throat. “There’s an underground fighting ring beneath this bar,” he suggested slyly. “Isn’t there?”
She took a sip, biding her time, and then turned, gesturing to a man who sat in the corner.
“That,” she said, jutting her chin towards him, “is a wanted fugitive from the Bulgarian Ministry. A purveyor of illegal herbs who owes some Welsh vampires a coin or two,” she added knowingly. “Isn’t he?”
Their eyes narrowed in unison, each silently gauging the other’s offering.
“I’ll say nothing if you will,” Draco determined eventually. “Deal?”
She smiled darkly.
“Deal,” she agreed, and they nodded, parting ways to opposite ends of the pub without another word.
Context: So this is the same Mae Gjallarfjall who seduced the pirate captain on the first game. In a later session, we have arrived at the capital of Fountland, which will serve as our base of operations for most of the campaign. The party decided to run some sidequests to make some cash and possibly find some loot. So we pick two bounties that are the opposite of each other. One is a dude who wants help fighting off an army of 5000 people, and the other is the army of 5000 looking for more help. Our way of completing both was… unusual.
DM: So, you guys arrive at the camp of five thousand men. One of them turns to you guys and asks “Who the fuck are you?”
Me (OOC): I pull out the job poster and tell him I’m looking for his leader.
DM: He points you the right way and wishes you luck.
Me (OOC): We continue on to the tent and I walk in without announcing myself.
DM: You find Meb in her tent, barely clothed and sitting on a throne made of men. She looks at you as you approach.
Me (OOC): I roll Persuasion to sway my hips seductively as I continue forward. *rolls +2 and ties Meb’s Initiative check*
DM: She raises an eyebrow at you and smiles. She greets you and demands that you state your business.
Me: *holding up her Help Wanted poster* I came to see about your job offer. You have five thousand men at your disposal against a single enemy, and yet you cannot best him? Why?
DM (as Meb): Ah, yes, I and my… rival, shall we say, have a contract in place. I’m only allowed to send one soldier per day.
Me: And for what ends?
DM (as Meb): To steal a cow.
Me: What’s so special about this cow? Can’t you just buy it from him? If you have the money for an army, surely you can buy a cow.
DM (as Meb): It’s a really nice cow. And he won’t sell it to me.
Me: Well, if you haven’t already sent your soldier for the day, I’ll go next and end this whole feud.
DM (as Meb): I like the sound of that. For now, find yourself a tent and rest up for the night. He’s tougher than you may think.
The rest of the party salutes and turns to leave.
Me (OOC): As I turn and walk out, I roll Persuasion again to sway my hips. *Rolls +3 and successfully seduces Meb*
DM (as Meb): Except you. *pointing at me* You stay. You’ve caught my eye… What’s your name, hun?
Me: Name’s Mae Gjallarfjall. Pleased to make your acquaintance.
DM (as Meb): Oh, we’re going to be far more than mere “acquaintances.“ (OOC): Roll Initiative.
Me (OOC): *critfail*
DM to me: You fail to notice her grab a whip from her throne as she steps towards you.
The rest of the party, meanwhile, comes up with a plan to con Meb by disguising Paladin’s horse as the beautiful cow. In the morning, McCooly (the dude with the cow) would feign loss and run away with the real cow, giving the horse to Meb as per the feud contract. I, however, was getting laid, so I missed all of this.
DM: It is morning! Cocka-doodle-doo! The cow says "Moo!” McCooly is waiting in his usual spot just between his ranch and Meb’s camp. Mae, you wake up very sore but strangely refreshed.
Me: Welp, time to take care of this job. (OOC): Doot doot doot. I head out to where McCooly is.
DM: He charges you with a very predictable path at a very slow speed, and winks at you. Initiative.
Me: *+2 Initiative, +3 Block*
DM: You successfully block. He says “Oh no, you are so fast! How did you ever see my attack coming?”
Me (OOC): I punch him right in the face with Storm Fist. *Rolls +2 for contact and +5 for damage, fail the stun chance, but land the cooldown reset*
DM: He looks at you funny and whispers at you “What are you doing, you’re supposed to go easy!” He then swings his spear at you again. It is very easy to read.
Me (OOC): *+1 Initiative* I notice, and +2 Block.
DM: You block again, and he says “Well, I guess I don’t have to hold back either.” He’s trying to shiv you with the spear. Initiative.
Me (OOC): *Same rolls as lats time.*
DM: You do NOT block, and you get shivved for 7 damage.
Me (OOC): That’s 3 after armor, I take it as HP. My turn?
Me (OOC): I’m going to poke him right under the jaw in that soft spot between the bone.
DM: I guess that counts as Bare Knuckle. Roll.
Me: *connects and does 5 damage* And now, I spend a fate chip to instantly reset the cooldown of Fist of Havoc, and I’m Smashing. *rolls 36 damage*
DM: …aw… why? You killed McCooly. He’s like, the coolest NPC ever, man.
Me (OOC): Afterwards I roll First Aid to keep him from being completely dead.
DM: So after he wakes up, he shakes your hand and compliments your strength, and hands you 90 gold to split between the three of you. He then takes the fake cow over to Meb and hands it over. Meb then tosses you an additional 90 gold to split, and blows a kiss at Mae.