Literally the first thing that happened in our campaign

DM: You stand in front of the entire town, your band of adventurers that’s also a band about to make its debut. Everyone roll a performance check.

(Everyone rolls pretty well, Tiefling vocalist even got a nat 20)

DM: Okay, what are you playing-

Feathery Dragonborn Bard: THIS. (pulls out phone, grinning)

DM: Oh god NO

Bard: (plays Never Gonna Give You Up)


Bard OOC: Wait, can we still do minor things as our characters from last campaign since they became gods?

DM: Y'know what sure, you can make comments on the situation at hand as the old characters but don’t expect them to reach the current ones.

Bard, controlling the former party Sword-cerer: I’m looking down at this performance, smiling… It’s beautiful. They rickrolled an entire town. I couldn’t be prouder.

DM: …I’m still going to bring Azewrath the Destroyer of Doors back since you ate my cereal.

Hobbit - Barduil Mythological AU

@barduil I was going to put it to tumblr what sort of Barduil picture I should draw because I wanted to draw something with them that wasn’t my own story, then I saw your post before I could, so I drew that. :)

Imagine meeting their children and Tilda wants to ride him and Legolas asks where the rest of him is but then they get on later. 

deviantArt / Tumblr / Twitter / Etsy / Storenvy / Society6 / Inkbunny / Redbubble

Commissions are OPEN

the-perplexed-spoon  asked:

What happens when you activate yisan, wanderer bard's ability multiple times on the stack with abilities like wirewood symbiote.

Putting a verse counter on Yisan is part of the cost of activating his ability, so he’ll have the same number of verse counters for each of the stacked abilities as they resolve.

For example, if Yisan has two verse counters on him and then you activate him twice in succession (thanks to Kiora’s Follower, for example), he’ll get another two verse counters from the activation. When each of those two activations resolve, you’ll search for a creature with a CMC of 4.

'The Napoleonics'

So I joined my first D&D game and we were all creating our characters and we ended up with a halfling (me), a dwarf with a height complex, a gnome, a 4ft half elf and a shortish human. At this point, I decided to dub our party ‘The Napoleonics’ from the amount of short we had. Then we came onto creating a character for the guy who wasn’t there.

Dwarf: We don’t have a bard yet, we should have a bard. 

Half-Elf: Which race would work best with that one?

Dwarf: We could go with another gnome or a dragonborn…

Me: A dragonborn would be good, he’d balance out the amount of short we have.

Dwarf: Good idea. Let’s make him a goliath.

Which is the story of how we ended up with five party members under 5ft and a hulking 7ft Goliath Bard playing bagpipes and the piccolo.

Chapters: 11/11

Fandom: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Bard of Laketown/Thranduil, Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Dwalin/Ori, Éowyn/Faramir, Melkor/Sauron

Characters: Thranduil, Bard of Laketown, Bilbo Baggins, Ori - Character, Bombur, Beorn, Balin, Faramir, Arwen, Éowyn, Radagast, Sauron, Merry Brandybuck, Pippin Took, Galadriel, Samwise Gamgee, Tilda (Hobbit Movies), Sigrid (Hobbit Movies), Bain of Dale, assorted others will also appear trust me

Additional Tags: Bake Off AU, focus is on barduil but the others will get there screen time as well, i’ve never attempted anything like this before so i hope it goes well

That glorious time of year is coming around again, yes, it is almost time for the Great British Bake Off (5th of August 2015, get excited)

And because I am trash (tolkien, barduil and bake off trash) I have decided to write a Bake Off Au

So get set for a fic filled with innudeno, yummy sweets, custard controversy and competitive bakers…

But wait! There is more!

This will be no ordinary fic, oh no, this is a Bake Off fic, how on earth could it be ordinary!?

I will be writing a chapter alongside each Bake Off episode, and you will be allowed to vote off baking contestants, in the comments and tags and my askbox!

However, there is more; even though I am keeping Bard and Thranduil around for the long run as this is essentially a barduil fic, I will only force you to keep them until the semi’s, so you will still be able to chose the winner of The Great Middle Earth Bake Off!

Artist’s Note: Basically I read this Fic Last year in time with the REAL GBBO and it was A M A Z I N G I got SO into it I was just as invested in it as the real thing. 

I know that it is no longer 2015, and this is from the 2015 Bake Off you should STILL READ IT. 

Thank You to @barduilotp for letting me know the author was @obithefabulous <3

fun facts/headcanons about hawke in the fade, while we’re at it:

- she fully believes that getting left behind is atonement for fucking things over again with corypheus, so she doesn’t bear the inquisitor any ill will. her guilt complex is indeed that bad by the time inquisition rolls around, but she also knows that it’s the logical choice. a warden must help them rebuild even though the warden arc is STUPID UGH.
- “sorry, (LI)” are indeed her last words. she knows she’s leaving them alone and feels horrible about it, but hopes they’ll understand.
- even if she takes down nightmare, she has no way out unless someone comes in and gets her, so she knows she’s fucked no matter what. she makes her peace with it. but if she’s got a love interest back home/whereever waiting for her, like i said, her last regret would be leaving them behind.
- in some messed up au where carver is the warden instead of alistair/stroud/loghain, hawke wouldn’t even give the inquisitor a choice. she’d throw herself at nightmare before anyone even has time to say anything.
- if she survives and a romanced alistair is the one who gets left behind, she’d feel fucking awful. survivor’s guilt +50.


It was a morning of early Autumn and a frosty chill hung in the air. The sun shone brilliantly white light through the mist that surrendered a foreboding scent of morning dew, filling the forest with an unearthly atmosphere. The safest path tread alongside a lake hardened by the unforgiving cold, and as Arnvjald, a veteran hunter, and Priam trekked through the wet coat of earthed cloud, the wildlife became cautious of its steeled visitors. The bard equipped his own two blades, which were slung on his back, and a simple crossbow, given to him at dawn, by his waist. The day became darker, more quiet, and the mist had vanished. Yet somehow the pair felt no safer with the clearing. Arnvjald, adopted a more prepared stance, and his axe was drawn and clutched with both hands. Not a sound parted from either of them. They made sure to gravitate near to each other at all times, until Arnvjald came to a slow halt, and he looked back with a gesture, and warned the bard to stay put. The brutish axe wielder then sank into the darkness of the forest, and before long the sound of his footsteps soon faded as well.

As the night proclaimed sovereignty, the forest fell to a slumber, deep. The trees no longer danced in the wind, the hypnotic melody of running water was no more, the drone of insects humming and buzzing went missing. And it was cold. So very cold. Not even the voluminous trees could stand as passive protectors of the lonesome bard. They were all sleeping. But, his pointed ear caught wind of them drumming in the shadows. With bewilderment he turned his eyes to the eerie sound, breathing a wary silence. The noise was continuous; it would not end. An aching, slow, tapping noise; Tap-tap. Tap-tap. Tap-tap. The bard drew his crossbow, and aimed it at the shadows. Then the croaking stopped.

At first the darkness must have deceived Priam, who kept his arm up, and stared aimlessly into it, or else his eyes were confused and dazzled by the cunning glare of the shadow before him. The forest was etched in charcoal, the once golden hues of the trees and the plants, clouded by mist, were no more than a vivid dream. Yet from whence the ominous tapping sound came, it was encased in an impenetrable blackness unlike its surrounds. It was silent. It was airless. It was void. And no mere shadow could describe the strangeness of it, for where light should have illuminated even a streak of soil, only darkness pervaded. It felt, to the bard, that the night had begun an eternity ago. Surely, his mind played tricks on his weary eyes.

In the intense silence he suddenly heard someone scream with their whole body. It came from the shadow, and though his better judgement was reluctant to chase the horrific noise, his feet marched on. Priam’s shadow dissolved into the darkness; the bard slipped into a forgetfulness. A nothingness.

Keep reading

Someday I want to do a Dungeons & Dragons game in which every Player Character is a Bard.

The premise?



I think it could be fun.

“When I installed Hearthfire, I got Winstad manor and the accompanying bard. She turned out to be incredibly annoying, and wouldn’t leave after i fired her - so after my kids went to bed, I killed her, and used a raise zombie scroll to get her outside my house. She didn’t dissolve into ash when the spell wore off, she just collapsed, so I found myself dragging a corpse through the marshes near the abandoned shack. Once an assassin, always an assassin, I guess.”