bard rock

2

“I love being a Bard! You get to show your love and support for your pals (in and out of battle), and you can do really cool & helpful magic, or fight with weapons if you wanna get dirty. Being a Bard truly shows the power music can have on a soul, and I strongly believe in that. Best of luck on your adventures and, as always, ROCK ON!”

-Rhos

(by @kimbles​ )

I shall call you Fluffy

Our party is 3 new players, the DM is the only one who has played before. This is the second day and our first dungeon.

DM: You enter the cave and see 2 wolves chained to a large rock and very angry, (me, an elf) still attacks first.

Me: I use my bow and aim for the closer one’s head *rolls a 18+3*.

DM: it hits right between the eyes. A third wolf walks out from behind the rock.

Bard: I use healing word on (me).

Half-elf: I attempt to pet the third wolf.

Me and bard: Don’t

DM: it latches onto your hand, take *rolls die* 8 damage.

Half-elf: Are you serious!

DM: 8 damage or 3 and lose that hand make it forever impossible to use your bow.

Bard: We told you not to pet it but you didn’t listen.

Me: Your a disgrace to elves, I swing my twin swords at the wolf NOT attacking (half-elf).

Half-elf: Are you joking! There’s still a wolf attached to my arm!

Quotes from Curse of Strahd

“Family picnic in the crypt?” - the cleric

“If there’s nothing in here I need to stab with a fork, I dump the bones in” - the cleric 

“Na na na na na na na leader!” - the bard

“Neverending durrrr” - the bard on himself

“Do I want to get miniaturized and sucked in to that dollhouse? Hell yeah I do” - the ranger 

“I’m tearing apart the family’s house with their own sword” - the paladin breaking a door

“You have all the strength of a lasagna noodle” - the druid
“Al dente, motherfucker!” - the bard

“No, you’re not noticing that.” - the DM to the cleric 

“So, do you poop rocks?” - the bard
“Sometimes” - the goliath cleric 

“Shut it, jingle balls!” - the druid to the bard 

“Like, your toes are magical?” - the ranger

“I’m so mad, I  want to burn this house to the ground” - the cleric 

“Slap that child! We’re chaotic neutral around here!” - the paladin 

“Before I kill these kids I’m going to make sure I’m not wrong” - the cleric 

“You rub your wood vigorously” - the DM on the druid casting shillelagh 

“That’s duel-able” - the bard

“Maybe it’s a Pillowcase of Holding” - the druid, looting 

“Anything’s a toilet if you try hard enough” - the barbarian 

“He came back? What a douche.” - the ranger 

“You 10’d perfectly” - the DM 

“Good thing it turned out to be the librarian ghost from Ghostbusters” - the ranger 

“From now on, we disarm every suit of armor we see.” - the paladin 

“The barbarian doesn’t so much drink the potion so much as smashes the bottle on her head and drinks the trickle-down” - the DM 

“Ninja! In your face!” - the ranger 

“I’ve been in the closet so long I don’t know where I am anymore” - the bard 

“This is a higher breed of toaster” - the bard on the animated armor 

“You made me bleed my own blood.” - the 1 HP barbarian to the animated armor

“My tambourine sounds spectacularly beautiful to your ears” - the bard to the now inspired barbarian 

“I pull out my masterwork battle tambourine and come running up the stairs” - the bard 

“If I get an arrow in my ass I will kill you with my fork” - the cleric to the ranger 

“I hit it with my fork because it seems like the right thing to do” - the cleric 

“I look at the cobwebs and dust and say ‘This is not a suitable environment for a human child’.” - the barbarian

“Let me rub my spear when I need to, it will go better for everyone” - the ranger 

“I mean, there’s only so many books you can make out of human skin” - the barbarian 

“I mean, I’m going to return the spear. Probably. Maybe.” - the ranger 

“Can you do that wall in sunshine yellow?” - the ranger to the DM drawing the map 

“One does not simply walk in to more doors’ - the druid 

"Your cannon fodder is staying behind?” - the cleric on the paladin’s squires 

“I’m scarier than any monster” - the barbarian to the children 

“Who’s your tailor?” - the ranger to the weird children 

“Who ate your parents? You guys?” - the druid to the weird children in the street 

“Is everyone a mail carrier in this world?” - the druid
Post-apocalyptic.” - the ranger 

“If I am not actively doing anything, I am posing dramatically” - the barbarian 

“I want fogvision” - the ranger

“These may be poisonous but I am going to eat them anyway” - the druid 

“One of these HAS to be the off mushroom.” - the DM on the druid’s mushroom addiction/consequent visions 

“The barbarian is insecure about her height in the presence of the goliath cleric” - the barbarian

vrepit-sa  asked:

Galaxy Quests and Gorignaks.

Send me “Galaxy Quests and Gorignaks“ for a Space DnD Class, race, and Campaign. | Not accepting

Class

{Not going to lie, I was going to say something l like Lunar Liason, but you sort of do that already. Same thing with a dreadnaught class.}

{I have figured out the best one though. }

{Proplyd Performer.}

{Bardic subtype, you call upon a mix of bar-room brawling to keep you safe and druidic arts to do everything else.}

{Your characters specialization is Dancing. Your choice on what kind.}

Race

{Sylfian. They’re closely related to the Galra, but…. prettier. Dense fur that’s easily trimmed and shaved into delicate patterns. They’re ungodly soft with a terrifying set of teeth and claws. They have an extra set of eyes, as well as vestigial wings that are used as platforms for more ornaments. They are also very, very tall, lithely built, and originally lived in deserts but adapted well to zero-gravity space.}

Campaign

{Mid-performance you were accidentally teleported to a strange new realm. Your goal is to get home, but this asshole cursed you to be in close proximity to at least one other magic user at all times. You’re alternating between knocking out the Star Sorcerer and just carting them away and trying to persuade them with your own brand of magic. There are magic-offs. The rest of your party is just trying to survive, and there’s a theoretical goal of removing a bit of alien technology that acting as a barrier between known space and an area ‘beyond the rim’.}

{ I say theoretical because anything planned involving you and the Otter just tends to end up going off track sooner than I can lick my own paws.}