barbie dream mansion

HOW ABOUT I JUST SUMMARIZE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

So Usagi pops over to the moon, AS YOU DO, and they’re like “Hey you’re queen now! Here’s your Barbie Dream Space Mansion.” To which Usagi says “lol nope I got some d waiting at home, you know ON EARTH”. Queen Serenity manifests enough power to reappear and say “aww yeah girl get it”, then a fountain moves and there’s a new more powerful brooch WHICH I GUESS WAS JUST THERE ALL THE TIME AND COULD HAVE SAVED US A LOT OF SHIT BUT SURE THAT’S FINE THANKS MOON MAMA

Then Usagi resurrects the entire world.

No literally. The. Entire. World.

There are hugs and shit, but I can’t have feelings about anything because I’m too bloody aggravated by what a giant clusterfuck all this is, plus if it were me I’d be “OH SO GLAD YOU COULD TEAR YOURSELF AWAY FOR THREE SECONDS USAGI” but it’s possible I am the bitterest peach in Fruitopia. 

So they all go the fuck home, AND I SWEAR TO GOD IT’S THE NEXT GODDAMN DAY when we start getting Black Moon shit, like Rei doesn’t even get a happy “I”m home!” moment, it’s just immediately into ~EVIL OMENS~. Then Chibi-fucking-Usa shows up.

CHIBI-USA SHOWS UP

USAGI AND MAMORU HAVE YET TO HAVE A FUCKING UNINTERRUPTED CONVERSATION THAT DIDN’T REVOLVE AROUND WORLD ENDING SHIT WHY DOES TAKEUCHI HATE HER STORY SO MUCH SHE CAN’T WAIT TO GET THE FUCK THROUGH IT OH MY GOD I’M SO FRUSTRATED ANYWAY THAT’S THE END OF ACT 14