barbecue love

mass effect dad headcanons
  • Kaidan: cheers you on at every soccer game even though you’re horrible at it “You got this, champ!” loves to barbecue and can always tell when something’s wrong “You okay, bud?” Still wears the #1 dad t-shirt you made for him when you were little.
  • Garrus: Comes off as relaxed and let’s you go to that shady party but when you get back you have (84) missed calls from Dad and he’s pacing in the living room. Doesn’t know how to cook so just orders takeout. “Well, you’re still alive so I guess I did pretty well”
  • Mordin: “Breakfast is most important meal. Triggers metabolism and gives energy!” Only showed you educational kids shows and builds your model volcano for you. Sings in the car even though ugh dad you’re embarrassing me.
  • Anderson: “I’m not your friend, I’m your father” but actually adores you more than anything in the galaxy. Took the day off work then stayed up with you all night when you got food poisoning. The day he tells you he’s proud of you is the best you’ve ever felt in your life.
  • Wrex: let's you take a sip of ryncol and laughs when you start gagging. Says "Whatever" and uses guilt as his primary tactic. Always gives you piggy back rides and weirdly specific life advice.
  • Joker: Dad jokes. Too many dad jokes. Let you watch a horror movie that gave you nightmares for weeks. "If I can do it, you can." Made sure you aced your driving exam and took you out for ice cream after.
  • Zaeed: Tries to watch his language but it usually ends up sounding like "Well sh... shucks" All your friends think he's really cool but he always asks things like "what in the shitting hell is a me-me"
  • Thane: Crazy dance!! Always knows what to say when you're upset. Remembers the small things like what toppings you like on yogurt and makes sure your favorite shirt is always clean. "I want you to be happy in life."

every time Reinhardt yells ‘MAGIC IS EVERYTHING’ in fe heroes I can only imagine him exclusively hanging out with sage/sorcerer/mage/witch/etc classes and being like ‘you must be This Magic to interact with me bye’

don’t even breathe in my general direction if you’re a sword using loser

Culture Shock: Everything You Need To Know About ‘World Of Warcraft’

With more than 100 million accounts created in its 13 years, World Of Warcraft is the most popular massive multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG) of all time. If you’re interested in joining the worldwide sensation, here’s some important info to know about the game’s history first.

The designers got the idea for World Of Warcraft after getting hopelessly lost in the Mall Of America: Minneapolis residents and lifelong friends Rob Pardo, Jeff Kaplan, and Tom Chilton decided to finally check out the great big mall everyone had been talking about for so long on one fateful day in the summer of 2001. They almost immediately got separated, and it took them days to find each other, and even longer to find a way out. Weeks later, they met up at a local diner to discuss what had happened and realized that a video game based on exploring uncharted territories full of wonders like T-shirt kiosks and incredible challenges like finding Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. would appeal to millions of players. After some debate, they changed the setting to the mystical realm of Azeroth, and the rest is history.

The game didn’t allow orcs to use weapons for years until the development team went to sensitivity classes and were convinced to stop being prejudiced against them: A truly dark spot on the history of World Of Warcraft is the discrimination orcs faced in the early years. The programmers behind the game were scared of orcs because of their no-nonsense attitudes about life, love, and barbecue, so they made sure that it was impossible for any of them to carry so much as a dagger. After thousands of fans sent in letters vouching for the orcs’ virtuous character, Blizzard sent the programmers to sensitivity classes and orcs were allowed to carry any weapon they desired the very next day.

George R.R. Martin credits World Of Warcraft as a key influence of his popular book series Tom The Trombone Player’s Adventures Abroad: One of the world’s greatest authors says that his most lauded work wouldn’t exist without this game. George R.R. Martin has spoken at length about how the game inspired him to finally get serious about writing, and that he began writing his smash hit saga Tom The Trombone Player’s Adventures Abroad soon after that. “Tom is based on my gnome rogue from the game. Tom isn’t a gnome, he isn’t a rogue, but he does know how to play the trombone, and that’s the exact stroke of genius that World Of Warcraft inspired in me,” said Martin in a 2011 interview with Entertainment Tonight.

The avian flu was a publicity stunt meant to convince people that the only way to avoid it was playing World Of Warcraft indoors 24/7: In 2007, Blizzard had the would-be brilliant marketing idea to stoke interest in World Of Warcraft’s first expansion by biologically engineering a disease that would be spread by birds and had the potential to kill millions. They thought that consumers would be forced to stay inside and find comfort in World Of Warcraft. However, this plan backfired when scientists reported that a goose with avian flu could, theoretically, get inside your house through an open window and spit on you. Once Americans knew that they were no safer indoors than out, Blizzard’s strategy was sunk.

Don’t Need Candles and Cake

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: SMUT (Ages 18+)

Summary: You and Steve have been dating in secret for a little while now, but what kind of girlfriend would you be if you didn’t give him a nice present during his birthday barbecue? 

Word Count: 3.6k


“Tony, that’s really unnecessary. Everyone’s tired, let’s just relax all day tomorrow. I really don’t want a big thing.”

“Oh, c’mon, we can’t not celebrate. You only turn 99 once, Capsicle!” Tony smirked up at him from his seated position on the quinjet, his cheek beginning to form a nasty-looking bruise which, in Steve’s opinion, is yet another article of proof as to why they shouldn’t have a party tomorrow. This past mission was no one’s idea of simple.

Keep reading

The signs as miscellaneous movies (use sun, moon, and dominant sign)

Aries: ferris beuller’s day off\inventive, adventurous, cunning, questionable, sassy older sister friend

Taurus: Leon the professional//dislikes change, grounded, sophisticated, pleasing, fashionable, responsible dad-friend

Gemini: parent trap; grown ups\ clever, intelligent, unsure, weird emo cousin-friend

Cancer: mama Mia !// sensible, welcoming, big-hearted, individuality, conflictive, mom-friend

Leo: Heathers\active (mentally or physically), magnetic, moody, determined, dramatic, vodka mom-friend

Virgo: titanic// elegant, rebel with a cause, aesthetic, timeless, unique mom-friend

Libra: The Great Gatsby;Moonrise Kingdom\ extravagant, ethereal, intellectual, passionate, troubled, wine aunt- friend

Scorpio: Pulp Fiction// intense, alluring, classic, loving, flighty, barbecue dad-friend

Sagittarius: Scary Movie Series\ humorous, light-hearted, dad-friend, chaotic

Capricorn: The Wolf of Wall Street// goal-oriented, transparent ( can see right through people), closed off ( people cannot see through to their motives or emotions), thorough, can be careless, specific taste, bourbon uncle-friend

Aquarius: Napoleon Dynamite\ extravagant thinkers, is ‘known’ for something peculiar, easily captivated, aloof, kind-hearted, weed cousin-friend

Pisces: The breakfast club// self-doubt, indecisions, secretly calculating and cunning, knowledgeable, no self awareness or too much of it, day-dreamers, generally creative, celestial, unmotivated, younger brother-friend

Alien Love

Coconut-creamed liqueur skin
Translucent salt-rimmed fingers
Plump barbecue tangy lips
Otherworldly long-limed thighs
You have to leave, before you dress
You’ve become my favorite thing
Picnic of alien love
Probing stupor, stagger home
Wake to smells of sticky sauce,
Vomit, trash, coconut creams,
Are you last night’s memory
Or invasion of my dreams


Sambucky Relationship Headcanons

-Bucky wants dat ASS©

-Bucky makes fruit salad in the morning and Sam makes waffles, eggs and pancakes

-Steve always cockblocking

-they are THAT couple

-things sambucky did: THAT

-at parties they are the couple everyone is jealous of/hates

-they are always trying to set Steve up with a date

-(little do they know he already has a boyfriend)

-sex….sex all over their house

-“did y'all have sex on this”


-“what about this?”



-“Ooh that one was especially good”

-“what about this? y'all can’t possibly have had sex on this!”

-*snickers* “we didn’t have sex on that”

-“but I did get ass ate on that” -sam

-“how,how is that even physically possible to do on a stool?!?”

-“ you’d be surprised anything is possible through the power of rimming”

-“Fine I’ll just sit on the floor”

-“mmm maybe you should move to the left a little, Steve”


-lazy days alll the time

-lazy making out

-they will literally stay in bed all day and make out and watch spongebob and occasionally have sex

-Bucky took up a job as a part time worker at the va where Sam works

-they both quit the avengers

-Bucky meeting sams mom was hilarious

-“you’re dating Loki?!?”

-“ no! They just have similar hair.”

-“so Bucky do you like curry goat?”

-Bucky asked Darlene for her blessing to marry Sam

-she geared up and told him yes and that she always knew that…..Sam would marry a white boy

-Bucky always coming to the Wilson family barbecues

-sams family LOVES Bucky

-like sams sister hangs out with Bucky WITHOUT sam

-the woman at keyfood loves them (they live in queens)

-“I love you baby”

-“I love you too popsicle”

-bucky and sam started out as fuck buddies

-and then it blossomed into something more…..fuck buddies with feelings

-such a beautiful love story

-sam didnt treat bucky like glass when he came out of cryo in wakanda like everybody else did

-and bucky loves sam for every little aspect of sam there is

-wether its that sam leaves the toothpaste cap open, or that sam is just so caring that it makes buckys heart hurt

-their relationship is like the epitome of unconditional love

-they go roller skating every thursday with steve 

-they have the occasional threesome

-their sex life is great

-their love life is great

-(who knew bucky was so good at romance and eating ass)

-”so sam what do you know about the fugitive, bucky barnes?”

-”i know that hes hung as fuck and people should be very wary of him because he has some world shattering dick, thats all no further comments”

hope yall liked it

and quick note this is an example of the requests y’all can make now so u can request relationships that don’t include reader for headcanons, the request can be: ‘malec doing A, B, C and D headcanons’ 

@unclesteeb ​ @goodbrosteverogers @buckyandsam @bamsucky @samallcapswilson @samwichwilson @samchillson

anonymous asked:

As a bi girl with male preference (mainly because girls are too gorgeous and I C A N N O T) it’s annoying when people are like ‘you like men more? Well then you’re not really bi then. It’s like nah, b, just because I like hotdogs more than hamburgers don’t mean I’m not grabbing both at the barbecue. 💅🏽💅🏽💅🏽

((OOC: I had that for years in a straight relationship -_- I can’t even count the number of times I heard the phrase ‘you’re not really bi then are you?’ and I have no doubts that as I enter a queer relationship the same thing will happen. 

Sometimes people simply don’t understand but that makes your feelings no less valid. Bisexuality is real, it is valid, and so are you. 
You grab whatever takes your fancy at the barbecue, love. don’t let anyone make you feel like you can’t. <33)) 

anonymous asked:

Awkward yandere Prussia?

  • Prussia is a mess of hormones and pranks. If he doesn’t march into a room announcing his magnificence, he’s probably going to sneak up on you and pounce – to surprise you is what he’ll claim, but it’s also likely just an excuse to get his hands on your chest. He’s constantly pulling on his childish antics to try and impress you: challenging others to ‘a duel for your hand,’ or writing entire epic poems about your beauty, or bench-pressing the nearest truck if he feels threatened. It’s simultaneously ridiculous and endearing.
  • Chivalry is Prussia’s idea of charming, and furthermore believes it to be central to modern romance. What do you mean no one fights for their lover’s honor these days?! That’s what happens in all of these modern romance novels! W-what do you mean dueling’s illegal…
  • Disregarding his bold actions and declarations of eternal servitude, Prussia can’t hold a conversation with you very well. He knows he’s stronger and wittier than anyone else around him, he’s just incapable of communicating it verbally. He can curb his stuttering pretty decently with practice, but nothing can hide the blush on his cheeks when you’re nearby. It’ll be on you to keep the conversation going, or at least keep it on track; if you’re not talkative enough to hold his attention to speech alone he’ll drag you along on some crazy adventure that involves much more action than talking. 
  • If you want to go out on a date with him, expect something physically challenging. Hiking and swimming are his two favorite activities. Hiking around a lake and then swimming in it is great, especially if the freezing, unhygienic water and prospective wildlife make you uncomfortable. If you can’t handle too much exercise, he’ll carry you on his shoulders to the destination. As long as you two get to spend time together and see some amazing natural sights in the process, he’s happy. Also there’s not a lot of conversation in hiking.
  • But if that’s not your cup of tea, staying home and playing board games is also a favorite activity of his. Especially strategy games like chess, Risk, and Axis & Allies. He won’t cheat, but he won’t need to: there are very few people he can’t crush at strategy, and with his experience there’s little chance you’re one of them. If you cheat he won’t forgive you until you make him cookies. 
  • He carries a sword in his pants at all times (no, not that sword, a real sword) if you ever want a demonstration of his swordplay. He’s a master of the art, after all! He could probably chop down a tree with a single swipe of his trusty bastard sword! Hopefully his hands aren’t shaking too much at the thought of messing up in front of you. He can and has dropped it on his foot before.
  • Awkward boners occur frequently. Rolling your R’s? Boner. Wearing shorts? Boner. Messy bedhead from a mutual nap? Boner. He usually doesn’t even realize he has a boner, which makes it that much weirder.
  • After doing anything remotely sexual, Prussia will immediately get down on his knees and pray to God for forgiveness. Don’t take it as an insult, ignore it, it’s just a deep-set habit from centuries past. He probably still has a boner for you anyways, since he’s got incredible stamina. 
  • Conversation is not his strong suit, but Prussia is still constantly pestering you for attention. If you leave his side for more than ten minutes he will whine about how cruel it was for his beloved kartoffel to abandon him, did you get swept up by an evil dragon?! He will ride to rescue you on his steed, as your faithful white knight! He’ll follow you anywhere! No, seriously, if you leave him alone long enough even to go to the grocery store he will do something as crazy as ride in on a horse to find you. It’s probably better to just bring him along in the first place, even if he convinces you to buy the whole candy aisle. 
  • He genuinely enjoys hanging out with your friends and family. All the more people to impress with his awesomeness! All these embarrassing stories to hear about your childhood, waiting to be heard and repeated until the world ends! He loves family barbecues the most, by the way. Please let him come along.
  • However, if his dominance over you is threatened by anyone – your jock friend, your rock start cousin, your brother, even – his aura of fun competition is immediately swapped with something far more menacing. Since lifting the nearest boulder wasn’t able to get them to clear off, he’ll put his sharp tongue and sharper mind to use, deducing their flaws and listing them for the world to see. They’re a broke bum, a slob, an idiot, completely incompetent compared to him. There’s no one better for you than Prussia, because there is no one better than Prussia. He’s forgotten all his blundering quirks in the heat of the moment, unable to view the offender as more than a target, a mere pawn in the face of his army.
  • If out-competing someone isn’t enough to draw your attention away from them and back to him, he’ll dig through their dirty laundry so to speak and pull up all of their dirty secrets. Maybe he won’t be able to tell you everything himself, maybe he’ll be too tongue-twisted to explain why he’s illicitly looking through others’ records, but perhaps covertly placing the file of secrets on your doorstep will be convincing enough. 
  • If you try and hang out with anyone without his knowledge and in even vaguely romantic terms, well… he follows you everywhere. He carries a sword around. He’s very well acquainted with battle and has no qualms with severing a man’s head from his skull. He will engage in conflict right in front of you to prove his ownership if he has to. He’ll do anything to remind you of who’s perfect for you, of who you belong to, dammit!
  • On the bright side, if you ever wanna see Prussia duel without the potential of dropping his sword, it’s the perfect opportunity to sic him on your enemies as well! Just prepare to make up for it with lots of sex and week-long prayer services.