barbarians

The Ancient, Fierce Celtic Women & the Romans who fought them.

“Here the women met them holding swords and axes in their hands. With hideous shrieks of rage they tried to drive back the hunted and the hunters. The fugitives as deserters, the pursuers as foes. With bare hands the women tore away the shields of the Romans or grasped their swords, enduring mutilating wounds.”
-Plutarch

“A Celtic woman is often the equal of any Roman man in hand-to-hand combat. She is as beautiful as she is strong. Her body is comely but fierce. The physiques of our Roman women pale in comparison.”  
-Unidentified Roman Soldier

“The women of the Gauls are not only like men in their great stature, but they are a match for them in courage as well." 
-Diodorus Siculus

"The women of the Celtic tribes are bigger and stronger than our Roman women. This is most likely due to their natures as well as their peculiar fondness for all things martial and robust. The flaxen haired maidens of the north are trained in sports and war while our gentle ladies are content to do their womanly duties and thus are less powerful than most young girls from Gaul and the hinterlands.”
-Marcus Borealis

whole band of foreigners will be unable to cope with one [Gaul] in a fight, if he calls in his wife, stronger than he by far and with flashing eyes; least of all when she swells her neck and gnashes her teeth, and poising her huge white arms, begins to rain blows mingled with kicks, like shots discharged by the twisted cords of a catapult.”
-Ammianus Marcellinus

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Why my elf barbarian is no longer allowed to use drugs

Context: In a second edition campaign with my family and we are fighting goblins, when my elf barbarian takes soms drugs to go berserk

Me: I’m going to hit it with my swords.

Dice: *1 both times*

DM: You swing so hard, you lose them both on the backswing. Next per-

Me: I bite the goblins face.

DM: As you are in a drug induced rage, I’ll alow it.

Dice: *Natural 20*

DM: You bite the goblin so hard, you tare its face off and it dies.