bar mitzvah boy

Falsettos Act 2: a summary
  • Falsettoland: they're back
  • It's About Time: we need to grow up + I don't have a lover
  • Year of the Child: small boy is about to experience extreme Judaism
  • Miracle of Judaism: who's coming to my party ayyy
  • The Baseball Game: we're watching a Jewish boy play baseball (he can't play baseball) + asshole finds his gay lover again
  • A Day in Falsettoland: everything will (not) be alright
  • Everyone Hates His Parents: dynamic duo™
  • What More Can I Say?: a sad gay song
  • Something Bad is Happening: lesbian bamf belts
  • More Racquetball: what happened to the gay
  • Holding to the Ground: my girl trina slaying once again
  • Days Like This: the gay might survive
  • Canceling the Bar Mitzvah: let the child make his decision
  • Unlikely Lovers: a sad gay song part 2
  • Another Miracle of Judaism: jesus can u let the gay survive?
  • Something Bad is Happening (Reprise): lesbian bamf is back and it's sad
  • You Gotta Die Sometime: Andrew Rannells hurting my heart
  • Jason's Bar Mitzvah: small boy experiences extreme Judaism + lesbian bamf's wife cooked too much
  • What Would I Do?: a sad gay song part 3
  • Falsettoland (Reprise): i don't know why i'm crying in the club right now

I was eating dinner with a large Italian family. One of them was the car salesman who I had talked to earlier that morning. His sister, aka my wife evidently, and I got so drunk that they kicked us out, so we went to the bar mitzvah down the street and stole the bar mitzvah boy.

Falsettos (Act 2)
  • Falsettoland: The Gay Agenda (Destruction of the Nuclear Family)
  • About Time: Maturity? In MY Marvin? It's More Likely Than You'd Think
  • Year Of The Child: The Lesbians Are In This Song
  • Miracle Of Judaism: Did I Mention That I'm Not Gay?
  • The Baseball Game: Supportive Father Fucks Shit Up At Son's Performance
  • A Day In Falsettoland: The Other Gay Agenda (The Straights Aren't Happy But The Gays Sure Are)
  • Everyone Hates His Parents: That's In The Torah!
  • What More Can I Say?: The Real Miracle Of Judaism Is That Marvin Isn't A Dick Anymore
  • Something Bad Is Happening: Did You Forget That This Story Takes Place In The 80s? Here's Your Reminder
  • More Racquetball: None Of Us Asked For This
  • Holding To The Ground: I Don't Want To Care But We Don't Always Get What We Want
  • Days Like This: Everything Will Be Alright
  • Canceling The Bar Mitzvah: Absolutely Nothing Will Be Alright
  • Unlikely Lovers: Acceptance, Denial, and Then More Acceptance (Marvin's The Little Spoon)
  • Another Miracle Of Judaism: Hello God? It's me Jason. What The Fuck
  • Something Bad Is Happening (Reprise): *Softly But With A Lot Of Feeling* Fuck
  • You Gotta Die Sometime: Dying's Never Been So Sensual
  • Jason's Bar Mitzvah: This Boy Has So Many Parents (Let's Fix That)
  • What Would I Do: They're Old, They're Horny, And One Of Them Is Dead: A Ballad
  • Falsettoland (Reprise): Whizzer Wins At Chess (Unnecessary)
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