bandwagoners

All these people saying “OMG have you listened to that song stressed out by 21 pilots???”

I’m like

“Bitch, first øff its twenty øne piløts, nøt the number, write that shit øut. Secønd, have yøu listened tø Fake Fan by Every Twenty Øne Piløts Fan?”

And they’re like

“Of course, that song is my jam!”

Then there’s me with a

*facepalm*

“Fucking bandwagøners, listen tø anything that isn’t øn Blurryface and then cøme back tø talk business.”

harry potter rated by mentions of goats
  • philosopher’s stone: mentioned that a bezoar can be obtained from the stomach of a goat which would be pretty solid except its mentioned in the context of snape being a dick to some eleven year olds. the goats didn’t give up their magic healing kidney stones for this. 3/10
  • chamber of secrets: no mentions. 0/10
  • prisoner of azkaban: no mentions. 0/10
  • goblet of fire: both karkaroff and young dumbledore are described as having goatees, a type of facial hair that, unless you’re idris elba or brad pitt or someone, is probably best left to goats. first mention of my main man aberforth and his fondness for goats, though unfortunately phrased in a way that convinced half the readers he fucked a goat. 5/10
  • order of the phoenix: a nice bit foreshadowing in which the hogs head smells like goats. unfortunately, there’s also a mention of the giants eating dead goats. a harrowing image. -5/10
  • half-blood prince: harry reads the half-blood prince’s tip about bezoars and with some truly stunning information retention, remembers what snape said about them being an antidote to most poisons + coming from the stomach of a goat in their first ever potions lesson. i am so proud of him. harry uses this totally unprecedented feat of academic success to flunk out on doing any actual work and piss off hermione. worth noting that harry also uses a bezoar to save ron’s life, begging the question, would the wizarding world be ruled by voldemort and all of our faves be dead if it wasn’t for goats? the answer is yes. a monumental achievement for goats everywhere. we owe them so much. 20/10
  • deathly hallows: aberforth and his fondness for fiddling with goats returns. he apparently throws goat dung at people in times of stress- what a guy. a goat patronus saves the day by looking kinda like a stag if you squint a bit. aberforth reminisces about feeding the goats with ariana. a touching, bittersweet moment. all around a pretty good time for goats. 10/10

me: can I please copy your notes
music student: notes??🎶 there’s WAY more to music 🎼🎧than just NOTES 🎵phrase🙏🏻 accent💥RIP Beethoven😔👴🏻🎻Brahms 3 mvt 3✨

me: do you know the angles of this triangle
music student: the only🙅🏻 triangle 📐that I know🙇🏼is the orchestral triangle 📐🎻🎶 Mahler 1 mvt 4 🙏🏻✨

me: look at that iceberg
music student: iceberg?❄️🗻I think you mean 🙇🏼 SCHOENBERG👴🏻🎶 retrograde↔️inversion↕️😩 retrograde inversion ↕️↔️💯