A/n: In honour of Valentine’s Day I decided to write a
little something :) Now since I’m an angst hoe I incorporated that here because
YAS gimme that drama haha. I hope you guys like it and please tell me what you
think??? Whether you liked it all or maybe a specific boy’s? Inspired by
multiple talented writers! I love you beautiful humans ❤️
TRIGGER: Swearing and mentioning of death
It was Ashton and I’s first year anniversary today and it
just so happens to be Valentine’s Day as well. Now listen, I’m not that into
Valentine’s Day like most girls. Why just spend one day showing how much you
love someone when you could do that everyday? It makes no sense to me and I’m
glad Ashton felt the same way. So we just celebrate our anniversary and since
this was our first I was beyond excited. I’ve been planning this day for awhile
now so everything would be perfect. Some dinner at our favourite restaurant,
late night star gazing, fireworks at the local carnival, and a little desert
for later if you know what I mean. I knew Ash had some recording to do today so
I expected him to be a little late as I waited at the restaurant for him.
2 hours past and nothing.
Not even a phone call or simple text message saying “hey
babe I can’t make it tonight sorry.”
The embarrassment I felt was humiliating to say the least.
Everyone was with someone sharing this day of love and celebrating it with
someone dear to them. Except me. The couple by the window was staring at me
with pity in their eyes the whole time I was there. I gave them a slight smile
while I got up and left.
Ashton knew how long I had been waiting for this day. He
fuckin knew how excited I had been. But he didn’t even have the decency to tell
me he couldn’t make it.
It was 10 when I got back home just ready to go to sleep and
forget this horrible anniversary. Well, I guess it wasn’t really an anniversary
if one party wasn’t even there right.
I took my hard worked makeup off and slipped into some pj’s,
disregarding Ashton’s ACDC shirt I always wore to bed. As I turned the light
off I heard the door open. Oh wow. Now you’re here.
“Babe,” he said rushing into the room, “I am so sorry
darling my phone died and I didn’t have a charger so I couldn’t tell you that
we were gonna be a little late with the recording.” He panted out like he just
ran a marathon.
I stayed quiet. I just wanted to go to sleep and not deal
with all this shit right now. I was pissed but more so hurt at the fact that he
couldn’t even reserve one little night for me. His girlfriend. The one who
always understood why he does what he does with the band. The one who
understands the life he lives. The one who doesn’t complain because at the end
of the day, he’s hers and she’s his.
But now, I’m starting to feel like not even a second
priority, more like a fuckin 50th.
“Hey y/n.” He spoke with desperation lacing his voice. “I
know your pissed but I need you to talk to me baby. I can’t go to sleep with
you angry at me like this.”
I slowly got up and sat in bed with Ashton right in front of
me by my feet. “I’m not mad.” I reply. “Well I was in the beginning obviously,
I mean what girl wouldn’t be when her boyfriend gives two shits about her.”
Hurt flashed his eyes as I looked at him. “Listen I-”
“No.” I interrupted because I had to let this out. It’s now
or never. “Ash, I understand why you were late. Trust me I do and you know
that.” He nodded looking at me and remembering all the times he told me he had
something to do with the band and that he’ll make it up to me.
I continued, “Nowadays I feel like I’m not even a priority
to you Ash. I love the band and I love what you do because when your happy I
feel happy too and as cliché as that just fuckin sounded it’s true. You love
the band and the music and your fans but I think it’s time for me to be loved
too.” I whispered, voice cracking with the tears that were soon about to fall.
He looked so hurt I couldn’t even look at him as I spoke the
words I knew would break his heart. “Maybe we should go our separate ways. You
continue with the band and I’ll find something eventually right.” I laughed a
“Tell me when your ready to actually be in a relationship
Ashton. Maybe then we can see if things will work out.” I said as I got up and
left before I broke down completely in front of the boy who I thought was the
one for me.
Relationships were hard. To say the least. I knew getting
into one with Michael would be hard work but I did not think it would drain me
like this. Lately, we haven’t been ourselves. Instead of him coming home and
wrapping his arms around me while I ran my fingers through his hair relaxing
him from the day’s hard work, we now exchange a simple “hi” and “how was work”.
It was like two strangers living in a house who were once so
madly in love that now it felt like all of that never existed. And that’s what
hurt the absolute most. I can’t keep living with him like this and acting like
everything was okay when both of us knew that it wasn’t.
So that’s why I packed my suitcase ready for my flight back
home. I know it’s Valentine’s Day and what a great way to spend it right. But I
couldn’t be with him this day because I knew it wasn’t going to be anything
like our last Valentine’s Day. The day he told me he was in love with me. Time
just flies by doesn’t it. I knew Michael wouldn’t be home until 7 so I booked
my flight for 5. Not like he would care anyway right.
As I made my way down the stairs I heard the doorknob jiggle
and my heart stopped.
I could see that red hair from a mile away. Michael came in
and closed the door but not before noticing me standing there at the top of the
stairs with my suitcase, eyes wide and filled with sadness.
“What the fuck.” He spoke angrily. “What are you doing y/n?”
He came up the stairs and took my suitcase from me rolling it back inside our
“Fuck.” I whispered closing my eyes and looking up at the
ceiling. This was not supposed to happen. But of course with my luck I should
have expected it.
I followed him to our room and saw him pacing back and
forth, running his hands through his now tangled hair. He looked at me with
confusion and anger flashing his eyes.
“Okay so you’re clearly pissed-” I began.
“Pissed!?” He screamed. “Were you really just gonna get up
I looked down not daring to meet his gaze. He walked towards
me holding my arms. “What is going on sweetie?”
I brushed past him and went to get my suitcase. “You cannot
honestly say that.” I spoke getting angry. “Why are you so fuckin pissed
Michael! You should have seen this coming right?” I yelled dropping my suitcase
and walking towards him.
“We never talk anymore, we never cuddle anymore, hell I
can’t even remember the last time you told me you loved me!” I pushed on his
chest but with my weak ass arms he barely moved.
“I’m leaving because we both know that this,” I gestured in
between us, “isn’t working out and I want to get out before I start hating you
Mike.” I whispered the anger subsiding and pain taking its place.
“So just let me go okay. It’s better for the both of us and
you know it.” I got my stuff and walked towards the door but only a short
distance until Michael grabbed my waist and picked me up carrying me back
inside yet again.
“Okay seriously dude what the-”
But I couldn’t finish my sentence because I felt something I
hadn’t felt in a long time. His lips were on mine and I couldn’t deny the
feelings I felt every time he kissed me. I moved my lips with his, placing my
arms around his neck and playing with the nape of his hair.
He pulled away his forehead touching mine, “I know we’ve
been going through some shit but I promise you baby that I have never stopped
loving you okay?” He said while gently caressing my cheek. “I know how you feel
but you can’t just walk out on me like that y/n. You can’t. It’s not fair to
I looked into his eyes seeing the genuine hurt and fear of
me actually leaving him and my heart broke a little.
“We can make this work. I promise you that just give me one
more chance y/n.”
One tradition Cal and I always did at the end of every
Valentine’s Day was go to the ice cream shop by our apartment. It had the BEST
cookie dough flavour in the world which is my ultimate weakness. Calum and I
sat down in our regular seating by the windows watching the hustle of people in
the city go by us while the sun was setting painting colours of red, orange,
and yellow in the clear skies of Sydney.
The waitress snapped our attention from the beautiful
scenery, “Hi what would you like to order today?” She smiled sweetly at Calum.
“One cookie dough and one rocky road please.” I smiled at
her but she flipped me off staring straight at Calum.
“Wow that’s a really cute jacket babe.” She spoke directly
to him. Um okay then.
“Oh thanks! My girlfriend here got it for me.” Cal smiled
over at me but my gaze was still fixated on the attention seeking girl in front
“What material is this?” She ignored his comment and started
touching the jacket and feeling him up basically. Okay seriously does she not
see we’re a fuckin couple?
“Listen can we just get our order already?” I hissed with
clear jealousy but I didn’t give two fucks. She was starting to piss me off.
Who touches someone’s man like that?
She finally acknowledged me and replied “Oh right sorry of
course.” And with a wink to my boyfriend she swayed her hips away.
Calum looked at me with clear amusement in his eyes. “Doll.”
He said getting my attention back on him. “Stop.”
I sighed looking over at him. “Seriously Cal what the fuck
was that? She was obviously flirting with you!”
“And was I flirting back?” He questioned. “Well no you
weren’t but you didn’t even try to stop it.” I answered looking back out the
“Hey.” He grabbed my hand over the table. “Can you please
look at me?” I finally look over at him and see his soft, beautiful eyes
staring back into mine.
“You’re literally the only girl I’ve actually ever loved and
if you think some chick in a one size too small shirt is going to make me
change my mind about us, you could never be more wrong.” He smiled at me with
that gorgeous smile which still made me get butterflies every time.
I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and smiled back.
“I know I know babe I’m sorry. It’s just that sometimes I get scared you know?”
I’ve never been the most secure girl in myself but when Calum came into my life
I tried. I tried to love myself as much as he loved me but sometimes it’s hard
to see what he sees when I look in the mirror everyday.
A look of understanding flashed his eyes as I said those
words. “You never have to feel like that doll. I am in love with you and no one
else. At the end of the day, I am always going to come back to you because
you’re my girl. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in someone and I still can’t
believe that I ended up with such an amazing person like you. So please stop
thinking things like that y/n.”
I rolled my eyes at his corny ass speech and he saw it but
he knew deep down inside that when he said things like that it made me feel
better. I may not show my emotions very well and say that I don’t like cheesy
sayings but sometimes words of affirmation can really help. This is why I love
Calum. He knew that every time I say “stop saying such corny things” he
continues because he knows that somewhere inside me I actually like that stuff.
Whether I admit it or not.
“Thanks Cal.” I spoke softly. “You’re such a sap but I still
love you anyway.” I leaned over the table and gave him a sweet kiss pulling
back all too soon when our ice cream came. I didn’t even look at her anymore
because I knew that Calum only had eyes for me and I did for him too. Holy shit
how’d I get so lucky?
I hated Valentine’s Day. I absolutely loathed it. It wasn’t
because I was single or anything because I have a wonderful boyfriend, Luke. It
was because last year on this very day I lost my grandma. She passed away on
the day that is filled with love and care for the ones close to you. Devastating
is an understatement as to how I felt that day.
But then Luke came along and things started to change. In
the best way possible. He helped me get through everything and was the sweetest
as can be when he heard what had happened. I couldn’t have been more thankful
for him in my life.
However, today was the day and I knew it was coming for
awhile now. I just didn’t want to talk to anyone at all. Including Luke. I
wanted to shut everyone and everything out for the time being. The pain and
sorrow was too much for me and I just needed to cry and let everything out. I
hated crying in front of Luke because it made me feel weak and embarrassed even
thought I had no reason to be. And he knew that. He knew I could shut people
out just like that but he didn’t want to be one of those people. He wanted to
help me and comfort me because he loved me.
But that can be harder than it seems.
I sat in my bed after a full out crying fest and stared
straight ahead at the wall in front of me. Memories of my grandma flashed in my
head and I could feel a wave of tears building its way up. I heard the door
close but didn’t say anything. I knew who it was. He’s been checking up on me
every so often.
He placed a bowl of soup beside me and looked at me. “Hey
bub.” He gently moved a stray piece of hair from my face. “I really need you to
eat something for me okay?”
I stayed silent. I just needed him to leave.
“Please leave.” I whispered barely audible. But he heard. Of
course he did. I looked over at him and I could see the worry in his eyes as he
took in my disheveled appearance and bloodshot, puffy eyes.
“I will baby but just please eat-”
I stood up and pushed him away from me. “I said just fuckin
leave Luke! I don’t want you here so stop trying!” I screamed letting
He got up and was about to hold my hand but I backed away.
“Don’t fuckin touch me. I don’t want to eat anything okay? I just want to be
alone.” My voice cracked and I hoped he hadn’t heard. I began to walk away
again when I felt his hand hold my wrist, preventing me from moving any
further. He wrapped his arms around my waist as I turned around and buried my
face in his chest letting all the tears fall out once again.
He knew that whenever I said I wanted to be alone I meant
the exact opposite. He knew never to leave me alone because knowing me, I would
probably do something I would regret the next day.
“Shhh it’s okay bub.” He spoke. “I got you okay? I always
have you. You can let me in baby. I promise that I will always stay. You’re not
getting away from me that easily.” I could feel the smile in his voice and I
looked up at him, vision blurred from the tears still falling. “I didn’t mean
that Luke. I don’t want you to leave I love you too much you know that right?
I’m sorry.” I looked down ashamed but I felt him hold my chin up so I was
looking at him again.
“Never say that again. I never want to hear that y/n. This
is all natural and plus that’s what I’m here for right? To help you get through
days like this. That’s what people do when they are in love. I’m not letting
you go honey. You’re stuck with me for life.” He chuckled. And I smiled. A
genuine smile. Only he could make me do that at a time like this. I knew that
as long as I had Luke by my side, everything would eventually be okay. Despite
the pure amount of shit I was feeling right now, I knew that he could always
take that away with just his presence. I am utterly in love with him.
“Thank you Luke. I love you.” I wrapped my arms
around his middle and we continued in that position until I felt him put his
arms under my legs and lift me up bridal style leading me to the living room
where I knew we would spend the rest of the day watching movies and talking to
get my mind off everything. He truly is a work of art isn’t he?