Band Songs
  • French Horn:FROM THE BAND ROOOOOOM TO THE FIELD (to the field) TILL THE SPIT DRIPS FROM MY VALVES AND AAALL YOU BITCHES CLAP
  • Flutes:She's first chair and I'm playin too flat, sittin in the second row with all the clarinets and if YOU COULD HEAR THAT I AM TRYING TO ROLL IN
  • Trumpets:My band director don't.My band director don't.My band director don't want us to play high C's son
  • Clarinets:Let's gather round the podium and sing our band geek song it's the S-Q-U-E-A-K-Y I hate my liiife song
  • Saxophones:Sooome day, Iiii'll be, playin tenor sax and all you're ever gonna be altoooo.Why you gotta suck so bad?
  • Percussion:I'ma teach you how to buzz roll son I got 99 problems but a pitch ain't one
  • Oboe:The double reed is broooken and they're real expenSIVE.BAND DIRECTOR'S PISSED AND GIVING ME A GLARE
  • Basoon:I'm all about that bass bout that bass no treble
  • Tuba:*Rick Ross grunt in the background*

Listen up kids, if you have trouble fitting in in high school, learn to play an instrument and join marching band because I PROMISE YOU band kids love making friends. Because band kids are already deemed pretty weird so when a new kid comes in were all like “fellow weirdo hello!”
That’s how I managed not to kill myself in middle school, I joined band.
And now I have literal life long friendships and memories that I carry with me always. It’s such an uplifting expierence. Plus you get to learn a fucking instrument so if that doesn’t sell you idk man.