band boys

anonymous asked:

Why do "fans" have the need to push their politics onto idols when it makes them uncomfortable? You can be LGBT and love them but please don't try and project that onto them. Like Jeongyeon was for a long time really uncomfortable about being called oppa by "fans" and has a noticeable trauma about how she isn't perceived as womanly enough. She wants to be her own self but knows if she deviates to far from her image she will alienate those "fans" It's a reason she wont grow out her hair.

First off, calling females “oppa” isn’t LGBT related. It’s actually heteronormativity, where people have to make everything straight. It’s like when girls say “I’m definitely straight, but I’m so gay for __” and other similar statements. It’s not queer, but the opposite. If people can accept that girls can be strong and have a chic and charismatic image without having to be a guy, and if people can accept that you can be a girl and still love and respect a girl (platonic or not), then they wouldn’t be saying “oppa” in the first place.

It’s not even politics if you can just accept people for whoever they may be. To put air quotes around “fans” and say that they’re pushing their politics on idols is a bit of an overstatement, I think. Not everyone is 10000% absolutely certain that idols are LGBTQA+, and the majority of us certainly do not “push our politics”. Most of the time, it’s just wishful thinking from afar because we’re so oppressed, as are idols that may also happen to be in the closet, or who at least support the cause but can’t voice it. 

More importantly, if we can’t “project” our queerness, then why is it okay to project straightness with all the countless straight ships and crackships out there for people who have never even met? Is it better to automatically assume straight than queer? (Isn’t that in of itself a form of heteronormativity and internalized homophobia?) Isn’t it more burdening to be assumed straight than to have people give you the space to be who you could potentially be, even if there’s only a slim chance that you may be something else? 

If it’s done right, we’re not pushing anything (at least not anything more than straight otp shippers are pushing). We’re just more open to possibilities, and it actually hurts us more because we’re more likely to never have a clear answer. But at least we are there for that percentage, whatever it maybe, with the fullest love and support unlike fans who leave and/or hate when their idols are associated with anything even remotely LGBTQ related in real life (trust me, it happens all the time). I like to think that we are all about love and accepting/understanding, and hope and opportunities. And that is what’s really important.

(A/N: I hope this was somewhat insightful. I think a lot of people don’t realize most of this, but instantly bash LGBTQA+ fans instead. As they usually do with most of the community, and that’s what’s most uncomfortable. It often feels like they are the ones not allowing people to live as themselves, whatever they may be…)

Stages of a Band Obession

•Hearing their music for the first time somewhere.
•liking the song
•loving the song
•looks up song
•listens to more songs from the band
•does research about the band
•"I like this band"
•to “I love this band”
•to “OMFG MARRY ME SENPAI”
•to “I DEDICATE MY LIFE TO THE BAND(s)”
•AHHHHHH
•trying to get them to notice you
•jamming to them 27/10
•crying over them 28/11
•still obsessed with them in 50 years