bancroft family

Abusiveness can be thought of as a recipe that involves a consistent set of ingredients: control, entitlement, disrespect, excuses, and justifications (including victim blaming) - elements that are always present, often accompanied by physical intimidation or violence.

Abusive [people] tend to use a little more of one ingredient and a little less of another, substituting different tactics and excuses… But, despite the variation, the flavor of the abuse remains pretty much the same.
—  Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?, chapter 6: “The Abusive Man in Everyday Life”