- Do you recognize me?
- I don’t even recognize me. Why would you be familiar?
- Because my name, Kurt Weller, is tattooed on your back.

okay but i see a lot of cute, nice lily evans who like apologies to owls for not taking the letter sooner and whatnot but what about really sneak and bamfy lily evans tho like what about -

  • lily evans who single handedly hexes the students (because newsflash houses apart from slytherins indulged in blood-purity too) who call muggleborns mudbloods. 
  • lily evans who purposely sends petunia frog spawns because good god get over your jealousy tuney. 
  • lily evans silencio-ing people who make fun of Remus’ skinny body and too many scars. 
  • lily evans subtly jelly-legging people who make fun of Peter’s weight. 
  • lily evans teaching Peter some useful nasty hexes so he can defend himself in corridors.
  • lily evans sending howlers to Sirius’ parents for disowning a perfectly nice albeit a little bit dramatic son. 
  • lily evans standing up to prejudiced pureblood professors and students and using herself as an example because that girl knows she’s dayum fine. 
  • lily evans defending girls for choosing Madam Puddifoot’s because they’re allowed to like whatever the fuck takes their mind’s fancy. 
  • lily evans kneeing her date in the balls when he doesn’t stop when she tells him to stop. 
  • lily evans swearing like a sailor after being woken up at ungodly hours. 
  • lily evans having a raging shouting match with Voldemort during their duels.
  •  lily evans ridiculing Voldemort for his nickname and insisting on calling him ole’ Tommy. 
  • Just lily evans being an unapologetic hot headed gryffindor warming our collective hearts

- We have it within our power to rid the world of this evil.

Drowning in You

Summary (kind of spoilers?): Dan is the BAMFy popular boy, Phil is the quiet nerd. Dan secretly really likes him, so he always teases him and calls him names. One day Phil is fed up, so when Dan calls him a stalker he replies and gets really close to Dan and says “Would you call this stalking?” to make him uncomfortable. 
Prompt from Phanfic
Word Count
: 1552
Warnings: Cussing

Dan knew he was fucked the very first time he saw him.

Black hair, the colour of a raven’s wing, was always soft-looking and covered pretty blue eyes that reminded Dan of the sky on a sunny day. His lips, which were pink and soft, were in a sort of permanent smirk against pale skin that stood out on the rare days that he wore thick black glasses that slid down his nose while he lost himself in various books.

And it was the first time that Dan felt his heart race at the sight of another boy, but this stranger was an angel and Dan would die every day if it meant he could see him.

Keep reading

Nerdy!Phan Masterlist

1997 - transdimensional-void

Summary: Phil is just a nerd who is too scared to walk past the cigarette-smoking goth boy on the street corner, or nerd!Phil and goth!Dan are true 90′s kids (featuring the musical stylings of Tool and The Smashing Pumpkins)

Drowning In You - phansdick

Summary: Dan is the BAMFy popular boy, Phil is the quiet nerd. Dan secretly really likes him, so he always teases him and calls him names. One day Phil is fed up, so when Dan calls him a stalker he replies and gets really close to Dan and says “Would you call this stalking?” to make him uncomfortable.

Everyone Has Secrets (ao3) - polandhetalia

Summary: Phil Lester is a nerdy guy that no one really pays attention to. Dan Howell is an intimidating badass who becomes more of an enigma as you get to know him, although people rarely do. They might not have much in common, but it soon becomes apparent that everyone has secrets.

Modern Fairytale - patchworkshirt

Summary: Dan hadn’t even wanted to go watch his flatmate’s friend’s band perform, but now he was backstage and trying really hard not to make eye contact with the guitar player because he was really, really, unfairly cute. Or, the ridiculously long and fluffy sassy pastel!Dan and nerdy punk!Phil AU that no one wanted.

Mr. Cellophane - weasley-is-our-king-

Summary: Phil Lester, the shy nerdy kid, never expected to find himself falling for the eccentric theater obsessed Dan Howell. However, with neither of them believing in love in high school, will their ignorance keep them apart? Or will they see that love has no set time when it can begin?

Opposites Attract - skinnyjeanshowell

Summary: Dan is the school’s bad boy while Phil is the shy nerd who likes to wear flower crowns, and things take a turn when they both end up in detention.

Teach Me How To Kiss (ao3) - cityscaped

 Summary: Dan is a typical notorious bad boy smoker who couldn’t give a shit about anything. Phil is a quiet librarian nerd who spends too much of his time in an abandoned tower in school. After rumours were spread that Dan had slept with many girls, and his two friends finding about it, Dan’s dirty little secret is exposed. Dan has no idea how to kiss. And what does he do? He gets kissing lessons from Phil.

The Bad Boy Experiment - excessivephan

Summary: Teenagers Dan Howell and Zoe Sugg work together to find out what the effects of changing nerdy invisible good boy Dan to sexy popular bad boy Dan will have on the public. Dan isn’t too excited about the experiment until the rich and popular goody goody Phil Lester notices him.

The Hunter And The Hunted - phanmuffins

Summary: Phil is a shy, nerd at school who is constantly bullyed by Dan Howell. After a turn of events Dan starts writing notes to Phil and texting him. It is just a joke of does Dan really like Phil.

The Partner Project - sy2b

Summary: The AU in which Phil is the nerd, and Dan is the rebellious bad boy with witty quips.

The Urgency Of Now - transdimensional-void

Summary: goth!Dan loves making out to music, and nerd!Phil is trying to figure out what it all means.

Yellow Love - phansdick

Summary: The deal is to make bamf!Dan Howell want to date nerd!Phil. But how can he go through with it when Dan’s eyes are the colour of chocolate and he has a dimple that makes Phil’s knees weak? He decides he can’t go through with it because he’s too afraid of falling in love before Dan ever will. With a christmassy twist at the end!

Your Love’s a Fucking Drag (But I Need It So Bad) - phansdick

Summary: Dan likes black and leather jackets, Phil likes reading in solitude and playing video games. But they have one thing in common as new roommates at uni: They are both completely straight. Just because they like to get each other off every once in a while doesn’t make it any different.

anonymous asked:

how bout favorite people? im trying to follow more people

Oh, well alright then. Trying to steal my followers I see. B( haha

  • janis-joplin
  • dream7790
  • thatsshaq
  • angryblackman
  • neogohann
  • tekena
  • silentwomaninthenight
  • bamfy
  • tilthefirstlightstruckmedown
  • thiskillingmoon
  • thegulfofmexico
(TW) Bullying Masterlist

Abuse - kittyxuchia11

Summary: Phil is beaten up everyday by his parents and his bully at school. Dan Howell.

A Tattoo Of Your Name - demisexualhowell

Summary: A punk!Phil and shy!Dan in high school AU.

Drowning in You - phansdick

Summary: (TW: Bullying) Dan is the BAMFy popular boy, Phil is the quiet nerd. Dan secretly really likes him, so he always teases him and calls him names. One day Phil is fed up, so when Dan calls him a stalker he replies and gets really close to Dan and says “Would you call this stalking?” to make him uncomfortable.

Head Down Low - camisadan

Summary: Dan isn’t right. He’s not like most of the others, he’s not genetically pure. He has no destined path, he has nothing going for him in life. He’ll be lucky to get himself a job in a fast food kitchen, and everyone looks down on him like he’s a piece of dirt stuck at the bottom of their shoe. Except one person: Phil Lester. 

Here’s Hoping - adayinthelifeofphan

Summary: high school and phil just moved and dan is like mr.popular and like he hates him but secretly loves him and Phil finds something that shows that dan actually loves him and stuff like that.

I Don’t Need Anybody to Save Me - didnotthinkitwouldcometothis

Summary: Pastel!Dan is bullied and punk!Phil comes to help. But maybe Dan doesn’t need help after all?

I’ve Got You - justalonelypunkrocker

Summary: Shy!Dan is picked on by bullies and it’s up to Punk!Phil, his boyfriend, to save the day.

Just Another Coffeeshop Story (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Just another coffeeshop story - except it isn’t. When Phil meets Dan, twisted, legendary Dan Howell, nothing goes right except when it does. After all, when the most popular, most feared kid in school starts bullying you, your life is over. Right? Not quite. Not if he falls in love with you.

Loneliness Hurts (ao3) - stella1000

Summary: Dan Howell is a lonely boy who is bullied. Phil Lester is the new boy in school who doesn’t fit in anywhere.

My Defender - ultxmasunicornphanfics

Summary: when pastel!Dan arrives to school earlier than his boyfriend, punk!Phil the bullies get to him first. However, Phil is soon there to sort them out and look after him.

One Second Closer (ao3) - goldenrose95

Summary: Soulmate AU where you’re born with a timer on your wrist that counts down to the moment you meet your soulmate. Except there’s one other case when the numbers reach zero, and Phil doesn’t find out until he’s too late. Almost.

Screams Are Louder Than Signs - yolohowell

Summary: Dan likes Pastels, Phil likes tattoos. An AU where Dan isn’t treated that well but Phil is there for him.

Second Chances - skinnyjeanshowell

Summary: (tw) Dan is mute and Phil is the bad boy at school who picks on him and bullies him. The only problem was that Dan and Phil have been talking to each other online for months. But Phil didn’t know he was talking to someone that he already knew, until they meet in person. Things don’t quite go as planned.

Stutter - placentaandllamas

Summary: Dan has a stutter and he’s bullied at school for it making him seem cold and distant. Phil is a new student who is paired with Dan to learn his way around the school. Dan just wants to be left alone, but Phil is determined to make Dan’s life less of a living hell