bam:lists

Reasons why Bunheads is great:
  • The first episode introduced a love interest for Michelle and made it seem like the whole show was going to be about that pairing but then they KILLED HIM OFF
  • Like okay it was sad because Alan Ruck is a good actor and his character was sweet BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW COOL A DECISION THAT WAS
  • The show got to be about Michelle forming real relationships and navigating her new life in this town where she’s a total outsider
  • The four ballet girls (Boo, Sasha, Melanie, and Ginny) are all really genuine and supportive of each other. They have their fights, obviously, but they’re there for each other unlike the “friends” in some shows (lookin’ at you, Glee)
  • The way it depicts show business (the auditions process, the brutality, the competition, the rigorous rehearsals, the disappointments) is actually super accurate unlike the depiction of show business in some shows (still lookin’ at you, Glee. Also Smash.)
  • Its mostly a comedy but it does some time deal w/real issues (body image, dysfunctional families, grief, sex/losing virginity, etc.) in good ways
  • Boo’s mom is hella supportive and wonderful to her daughter, and like Sookie in Gilmore Girls she’s a fat character who’s fatness isn’t used as a punchline for jokes. It’s just part of who she is.
  • SUTTON FOSTER NEED I SAY MORE

And yes, fine, it’s not w/out problems (lack of POC and the weird thing with Sasha’s closeted gay dad are the two that jump out to me) but it’s still so good, oh my Lord AND IT GOT CANCELLED BECAUSE THE WORLD IS A TERRIBLE PLACE SOMETIMES

10

Top 10 Favorite Movies (alphabetical order / left-to-right):

  1. Aoi Haru (Blue Spring) (2001)
  2. Denchu Kozo no Boken (The Adventures of Electric-Rod Boy) (2003)
  3. Funky Forest: The First Contact (2005)
  4. Gozu (2003)
  5. Hausu (1977)
  6. Oldboy (2003)
  7. Survive Style 5+ (2004)
  8. Strange Circus (2005)
  9. Valerie a Tyden Divu (Valerie and Her Week of Wonders) (1970)
  10. The Wicker Man (1973)

Little things:
- when someone brushes your hair back from your eyes absently when they are talking to you
- the barista remembers how you take your coffee
- kissing someone’s cheek with your eyes closed and feeling their face lift when they smile
- finding an entire album that you can listen to without skipping tracks
- meaningful eye contact on public transport
- when a smoker holds in the smoke until they’ve walked past you completely
- walking with someone who very carefully presses their hands into your back
- smelling something unidentifiably lovely when walking past shrubs
- getting off at a train station and someone is already loping towards you, beaming
- receiving a package in the mail that you didn’t know was coming
- freshly baked bread

Lessons I’ve learned before 20:
1. Fall in love and accept your broken heart. It’ll make you much stronger much more prepared for what’s coming.

2. See the world, even if it’s not that much different than your own. If you can’t afford Thailand or Europe, drive 3 hours to the next city for the night spontaneously. Get out of your comfort zone. It’s not just boring, it’s unhealthy.

3. Don’t wait to get drunk to say what you need to say. Your exes will appreciate and actually take seriously what you send sober. That being said, 2 a.m. sober is easier than 2 p.m. sober.

4. Good things happen after 2 a.m. Great things. Don’t let sleepless nights of anxiety and depression alone in bed make you dread the night. It’s full of endless possibility. If it’s not going great, just like days, there will be more and you’ll have to be prepared for all the great things ahead.

5. No one is guaranteed to live till their 80, even in the most utopian-like societies. You don’t know how long you have, so stop waiting and go. Go take try to get that job or into that school, go travel, go after that guy or girl, go make amends you’ve been putting off, go see your grandparents. Go. Now.

6. Don’t accept the bullshit that you face everyday if it’s not right. Don’t censor yourself because of society, only out of respect.

7. Write letters because putting something on paper makes a thought something you can hold, something you can give away, something you can send across an ocean, something that can be torn in two or burnt into ashes, like it never existed. It helps.

8. Time wasn’t designed to be on your side but hold onto the hope that one day it will be. You run into them again someday, you’ll have longer one day.

9. The world doesn’t have it out for you, to be frank, chances are most of it just doesn’t give a shit about you.

10. People leave, and at the end of the day you’ve got to face yourself. Don’t hold back on your own happiness for what ifs. It’s okay to be selfish sometimes. People who matter will not only understand, they’ll tell you the same.

11. Taking medication doesn’t make you weak. Whether your body is sick or your mind, don’t be ashamed of getting some help to be yourself.

12. Don’t argue with your parents, siblings, or best friends for longer than a day. It’s not worth the time wasted. Say what you need to say, get it out of your system and then go grab a beer and laugh at all the stupid things that try to get between you guys.

13. Cuddling with your pet will heal you.

—  paradise-without-stars
1.) You will fall in love and it will be nothing like the movies. He’s not gonna come to your window and he’s not gonna kiss you in the rain. He’s gonna make you lay awake at 3am and he’s gonna make you wish you’d never met because your whole body feels like it’s on fire.
2.) School doesn’t make you learn anything except that people can be really mean. You won’t learn how to do taxes or vote or change the world but hell at least you can calculate velocity and bullshit a five page essay in two hours.
3.) You’re going to make mistakes and some of them will cause more damage and some of them you can’t fix. But that just makes other things happen and life throws a lot of curveballs at you that you need to make good things from. I promise it’s only as bad as you let it be.
4.) Kiss boys. Kiss girls. Kiss anyone you want and kiss people you don’t want to and cry about people who kissed people that weren’t you but never hurt yourself because of a kiss.
5.) Some days you won’t want to wake up or move. Some days, don’t. Most days, get up anyway. Take a shower. Sing. Pretend you’re happier than you really are.
6.) Don’t spend too much time hating yourself. Don’t act like someone else. Don’t waste time on pretending. Write love poems to you, from you and mean them.
7.) You’ll find yourself waiting for the weekend and waiting for summer and waiting for things to get better. Make them better and do not wait.
8.) Keep flowers always, wear whatever you want, hug as many people as you can. This is mandatory.
9.) Nobody knows what to do when you run out of toilet paper. Ask a friend.
10.) Never settle for less.
11.) People don’t always mean what they say or say what they mean. Ask a lot of questions and genuinely mean them.
12.) If they won’t hold your hand, don’t let them hold your heart.
13.) Nights are either the worst things or the best things. Sometimes you cry a lot and ask the stars why and sometimes you laugh and lay in the street. Treasure both.
14.) Things spoil when you try to force them to last forever. Appreciate the time you get with people or in places and don’t stretch it’s life longer than it needs to be. Not every friend will be with you forever. Know that it’s okay that way.
15.) Nobody understands their feelings. Write about it, paint about it, sing about it, dance about it. Cry about it. You’re not the only one who feels a little lost. Search for comfort in lyrics and poems.
16.) If your pillow isn’t comfortable, buy a new one.
17.) Nothing goes as planned. It’s beautiful though.
18.) People are going to hate you and call you terrible names but they don’t know what it’s like to be you and they certainly don’t deserve your attention. Pretend they’re sour milk. No one likes sour milk.
19.) Ever since you were born you have been working a full time job breathing and staying alive. You’re doing well. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
20.) Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. When you’re at rock bottom just know that your low may be low but there’s an equal and opposite reaction waiting for you someday. Soon enough you’ll be at the top of the world.
—  Things I Was Never Taught But Learned Anyway

I just want to take some time to talk about one of my favorite grounding techniques: showering. Whenever I’m angry or sad, and especially when I’m dissociating, taking a shower not only calms me, but also helps me to feel like a person again. Here are somethings to keep in mind if you are planning to try showering as way to ground yourself.

1. Remove stressful stimuli from the bathroom before showering. When I was initially trying to stop self-harming a few years ago, this meant removing shaving razors until I had recovered.

2. Focus on small details. Pay attention to how the tub feels under your feet. Note the temperature of the water. Touch your hair and remind yourself that it is yours. Do the same with your skin. 

3. Invest in scented body wash. This, for me, is the most powerful component. Depending on how I’m feeling, I have several different types of soaps and scrubs to use. When I’m anxious, I use a vanilla body wash to calm me down and relax me; when I’m dissociating, I use a peppermint soap that has a particularly strong scent, which makes it easy to focus on when I’m feeling unreal.

4. Think of it as self-care. Not only will showering help calm or ground you, cleaning and grooming yourself can have the effect of making you feel a little more human and happier about yourself! Take the opportunity to focus on and love every part of your body!

5. Even after the shower, focus on the sensory details. Rub your body with lotion, taking special notice of how your skin feels.Wrap yourself in a soft robe or towel. Notice how nice your hair smells. 

I hope these little tips help! Showering always makes me feel better, and hopefully, it’ll make you guys feel better too!

Take care of yourself! :)

10 Books That Stayed With You

Rules: In a text post, list ten books that have stayed with you in some way. Don’t take but a few minutes and don’t think too hard — they don’t have to be the “right” or “great” works, just the ones that have touched you. Tag ten friends, including me, so I’ll see your list. 

(tagged by memereve)

  1. The English Patient, Michael Ondaatje
  2. Fugitive Pieces, Anne Michaels
  3. Beloved, Toni Morrison 
  4. No, Ocean Vuong
  5. Just Kids, Patti Smith 
  6. A Field Guide to Getting Lost, Rebecca Solnit 
  7. The Weight of Oranges / Miners Pond / Skin Divers, Anne Michaels
  8. Slouching Towards Bethlehem, Joan Didion 
  9. Flesh and Blood, Michael Cunningham 
  10. Duino Elegies, Rainer Maria Rilke, translated by Stephen Mitchell

anonymous asked:

Do you suggest any creepy videos?

I haven’t seen the feature film Mama yet, but the short film it’s based on is pretty damn good.  [Link]

No Through Road [Link]

One of my old favorites is Smile [Link]

The Cat with Hands [Link]

FEWDIO films aren’t always that great, sometimes a bit over the top, but one of the best to this day has to be Bedfellows [Link]

No relation to John Dies at the End, I give He Dies At The End 3/5 for atmosphere. [Link]

This is kinda funny, though.  For fans of Slender (THE MONSTER’S NAME IS SLENDERMAN, PEOPLE!) [Link]

Weird name but brilliant monster design, cinematography and writing!  Suckablood. [Link]

Here’s a Halloween themed version for you. Making Friends [Link]

Finally, for fans of horror based on true events, The Quiet. [Link]

A note to self

before the new semester starts

  • Go to bed early; wake up early
  • Write more to-do lists to keep your mind clear.
  • Keep a positive perspective; you’re doing what you love in a great place with great people.
  • Always was your face before bed; you’ll wake up feeling groggy if you don’t.
  • Keep your room neat so that you don’t feel overwhelmed.
  • DON’T BE TOO CRITICAL OF YOURSELF. You’re exactly where you need to be.

anonymous asked:

which tv shows are on your 'to watch' list?

uh uh uh oh god

okay in the order i remembered them:

  1. the rest of pushing daisies
  2. game of thrones
  3. breaking bad
  4. the rest of mad men
  5. orphan black
  6. american horror story
  7. the simpsons
  8. true detective
  9. scandal
  10. broad city
  11. the rest of girls
  12. hannibal
  13. the rest of doctor who
  14. sherlock
  15. the rest of arrested development
  16. the rest of louie
  17. veep
  18. it’s always sunny
  19. children’s hospital
  20. new girl
  21. wilfred
  22. brooklyn nine nine
  23. attack on titan
  24. neon genesis evangelion
  25. the rest of buffy the vampire slayer
  26. seinfeld
  27. the adventures of pete and pete
  28. the office (uk)
  29. the wire
  30. the sopranos
  31. twin peaks
  32. the rest of the legend of korra
  33. house of cards
  34. portlandia
  35. rick and morty
  36. party down
  37. the united states of tara
  38. undeclared
  39. flight of the conchords
  40. the rest of adventure time
  41. summer heights high
  42. the it crowd
  43. workaholics
  44. my mad fat diary
  45. extras
  46. gravity falls
  47. tim and eric
  48. battlestar galactica
  49. firefly
  50. and american gods if/when it airs
Things that trigger me:

1. Seeing my skin (This often brings on the urge to squeeze and “just sort out that bit”)

2. Feeling anxious (This occurs at usual times and unusual times, for instance: Sitting in a waiting room, trying to build up the nerve to speak, being around people when my skin is bad, and trying not to touch my skin when I’m around people)

3. Social pressure (I’m not incredibly confident around others, so when someone tells a joke I don’t think is funny I usually end up feeling uncomfortable because I feel pressure to laugh. Another example of this is when I feel under pressure to reply and but because I have nothing I really want to say, I give it little thought and blurt out something I didn’t really want to say)

4. Reading aloud (I don’t mind this when I choose to but if I’m asked to in class I become embarrassed and my cheeks redden which makes me feel really weak)

5. Embarrassment (I’m a baby when it comes to embarrassment, I don’t take it well and I often feel embarrassed when things aren’t even that bad, I’m quite self conscious around others so I’m easily embarrassed)

6. Stress (Plans can make me stressed, I’m not good at keeping to them..and if others don’t I don’t feel sure what is happening or what I should then do so I make a lot less plans now than I have done before)

7. Miscommunication (I’m super good at misunderstanding and it makes me feel yucky when i misunderstand or others misunderstand me)

8. Bad surprises (This is very similar to misunderstanding for me but a little worse because they usually occur in person and I don’t have time to compose myself when I’m expected to react or not to so I just become a big ball of uneasy)

9. Touching my skin (It’s hard to abstain from touching your own body, so this occurs often, I’ll touch my skin which often leads to me feeling around for something I want to pick or if I’m really unfortunate I’ll feel a lump without searching)

10. Trying not to pick (When I’m trying not to pick I find it constantly on my mind which makes me want to more than when I’m not thinking about abstaining from it)

(I’m going to continue to update this list to keep a note of the things that trigger me. If any of these things also trigger you I hope you can take comfort in knowing another understands)

1. If the human skin replenishes ever 27 days, why do I still feel your touch on every part of my body?
2. You told me that you wanted to go to the Caribbean and that you had a dream that we went together. Maybe we will see each other there and it will be like meeting each other for the first time.
3. I don’t believe in God but every night I pray to him to bring you back to me.
4. I saw a buttercup growing on my lawn today. It made me think of you and it made my stomach hurt.
5. Most days I try to forget that you exist because that’s easier than admitting that there’s someone like you out there.
6. I wish I could tell you I love you.
7. You called me last night and told you that you had signed up for a tour. I asked you why you called me and you told me that you felt like you should, that you wanted me to know. How the hell am I supposed to deal with my life if I lose you?
8. Last night, you told me that I was a butterfly. That I was worth it and that you wanted me. All of me. Why don’t we just stop playing head games and make up our minds? We both know that we can’t live without each other because if we could, we wouldn’t of had that conversation.
9. Yesterday would’ve been our 7 months. Maybe that’s why we were both so upset.
10. You’ve texted me on the first of every month. I never realized that you did until now. I should’ve known you wouldn’t forget, I never gave you enough credit.
11. You’re my buttercup and I’m your butterfly. How fitting.
— 

11 things I realized this morning

cp