“Sehun Please!” I screamed as the car came closer to him. It had no intention of stopping.
Kai ran out into the road, and pushed Sehun out of the way, right before the car could hit him.
“What the hell!? Why would you do that!? You could have gotten killed too! Just let me die.” Sehun said, pushing Kai off of him.
“I can’t let that happen. I’m not letting my best friend die. You’re going to be okay, Sehun. We’re gonna get through this, I promise. Just, please, come back home.” Kai begged.
Chen and I ran across the street to Sehun and Kai to see if they were okay. “Are you guys okay?” Chen and I say in unison.
“Yeah, we’re fine, just a little scratched up. Nothing serious.” Kai stood up and wiped himself off.
Sehun still sat on the sidewalk, his head in his hands. Kai helped him up, and shielded him from the members who were just now starting to show up, knowing that Sehun wouldn’t want anyone seeing him like this. “We’re fine guys. I think for now we are just going to go home and rest up.” Kai said, trying to make everyone calm down and not worry too much.
Suho helped Kai with Sehun. I hesitate a little, but go to Sehun to make sure he’s really okay. After a second, I decide it’s okay to hug him. “Please don’t scare me like that ever again, okay?” I whispered to him.
“I thought you didn’t care.” He said, looking down at me, tears mixed with rain water falling down his cheeks still.
“Of course I care! Are you crazy!?”
“I thought you’d be too busy with Lay to even notice I was gone.” His voice was still sad, and it hurt my heart that he was so torn up about this.
“I wasn’t going to leave you the way you were, of course I noticed you were gone. I didn’t know what you were planning, but I knew it wasn’t anything good. Don’t do things like that.” I said, hugging him tighter.
“I’m gonna take him back to the dorm now, okay?” Kai said, interrupting our small moment.
“Alright.” I wanted to leave with them, but I also wanted to give Sehun his space, is that what he really needs though? Space?
“Give him his space, Lauren. He just went through a lot.” Lay said, standing beside me now.
I looked up at him and sighed for the millionth time today. “What he needs right now isn’t space, Lay, he needs to know that he’s loved and he needs to get attention.” I said, making up my mind about the situation.
“But Jagiya… I don’t want you to go. If you go off and do this tonight… Then I guess we’re done. I can’t keep fighting for you all the time, it gets exhausting. It’s me or him.” He said, crossing his arms and tapping his foot on the wet ground.
I hesitate again, but nod, making my decision. “Lay, I’m so sorry, but Sehun needs me right now. I’m not just going to abandon him.” Before I can change my mind, I ran to catch up with Sehun, Kai, and Suho.
I look back at Lay, who’s standing there dumbfounded, trying to process the the fact that I chose Sehun over him. “Fuck!” He yelled into the night air.
Kyungsoo looks at me, pity in his eyes. “I’ll go take care of Lay. Be safe, okay?” He said, running off in Lay’s direction. Baekhyun follows him, giving me a warm smile before he took off.
I can’t help but feel guilty about leaving Lay for Sehun. But in a moment like this, I couldn’t just leave Sehun to do whatever. He could try to run out again.
All of us run through the rain to the dorm, and quickly get Sehun to his room. Suho gathers everyone and starts ushering the boys out the door. “Come on, let’s give these two some time alone.” He said, shutting the door behind him, after hoarding everyone out.
I slowly walked over to Sehun, a little hesitant at first to sit beside him on the edge of the bed. I’m quiet for a while, thinking everything over. Sehun seemed to notice my distraught face. He scoots closer to me, and pulls me into a hug. “Want to talk about it?” He asked, in a soft voice. I just shook my head, not wanting to make any of this about me.
He pulled me down in a laying position on the bed, and held me close to him, burying his face into my wet hair. It was a little uncomfortable to cuddle while extremely wet from being in the rain, but Sehun didn’t seem to mind. We stayed silent as we cuddled, soon falling asleep and forgetting about the events that happened today.
I was the first to wake up, I look over at the sleeping figure beside me, forgetting that Sehun was here instead of Lay. Everything that happened last night came flooding into my memory. I sighed and quietly got out of the bed, trying not to wake Sehun. Walking to the living room, I spot Kai sitting on the couch, eating breakfast and watching television. I sat down next to him, staying silent for a second, but then turning to him. “Last night,” I started. “Lay told me that Sehun had done something like this before. Can you tell me what happened, exactly?” I asked, hopeful that he would answer me.
However, he just stared at me with a blank face before answering; “You wouldn’t want to know… It was worse than this… You should know that Sehun loves you. Really loves you, and it hurts him to see you and Lay together.” He said, looking at me seriously.
I look at the ground and let a tear escape my eye. “I know.” I say, before getting up and walking slowly back to Sehun’s room.
I look at the boy, who is still in a deep sleep, and I smile. Climbing back into the bed, I pulled him close to me and snuggled my face into his chest. “Don’t do stuff like this again, okay? I love you too.” I said it so quiet that even I couldn’t hear my own voice, but I said it. I finally said it. And it feels so goddamn good to get it off my chest. Sure, no one was around to hear it, but I definitely said it.
There was a loud slam throughout the dorm, and a loud ‘where is she!?’ coming from the living room. Soon, Sehun’s door slammed open, and in stumbled a drunk Zhang Yixing.
He starred at the two of us for a split second, and his eyes turned to stone when they met mine. “Is this what you meaant by love and attention!? You fucking slept with him!? Are you kidding me!?” His words slurred, but they were loud as hell. He didn’t even let me explain before he slammed the door shut.
Sehun’s eyes fluttered open, and he sat up, rubbing his face. “What just happened?” He asked sleepily.
I shook my head, continuing to stare at the door, trying to process what just happened. “Nothing, just go back to sleep, okay?” My voice quivered as I tried not to cry.
I was so shocked by Lay bursting in like that, that I didn’t know what to do. He rarely got drunk and when he did, he never acted like this. I was almost at the point of a panic attack. Sehun notices this quickly, and he holds my shoulders, looking at me with concern in his eyes. “Are you alright? (Y/N), you’re shaking, what happened?”
I can’t even speak, I’m shaking so much. Sehun wraps me up in his balnket. “It’s Lay, isn’t it?” He asked. I managed to nod my head, making his eyebrows forrow. “Stay here.” He tells me, before he rushes down the hall to Lay’s room.
Sehun pushes Lay down easily due to his state at the moment. “What the hell did you say to (Y/N)!? She’s having a panic attack because of you, asshole!” Sehun yells down at the drunk boy on the floor.
Lay struggles to get up, but when he does, he shoves Sehun against the wall. In the other room, Suho could hear the commotion and runs into the room to break up yet another fight. Kyungsoo was next to come in, looking Lay in the eyes and telling him to let this go. “Think about what we talked about last night. Don’t blow up like this, it’s not worth it.”
The boys in the room started to have deja vu from previous fights. It was all the same comments and attemps to get the two boys to stop fighting.
Upon hearing these words, however, Lay collasped to the ground and started to break down. “How could she do this? We were so happy together. I thought she loved me. It’s all because of this LITTLE SHIT!” Lay’s voice rose and he starts shaking from how angry he was getting. “We were happy until you showed up. You ruined everything. You ruined the only thing I ever cared about!”
I walked in just in time to hear that last part. Lay’s eyes glass over totally emotionless when his eyes meet mine. He lifts himself to is bed, and tells everyone to leave.
Everyone except me leave the room. A tear rolls down my cheek as I look at his form. “Lay, I’m so, so sorry for chosing Sehun over you… But what was I supposed to do!? He was going to kill himself, dammit! I couldn’t just leave him alone.” I said, looking at my feet, more tears falling to the ground. “However, I didn’t fuck him. Nothing happened between us last night, other than the two of us falling asleep. I would never do that to you, ever. It hurts me that you think I would. Lay, I love you so much, I really do..” I paused before I said my next words, thinking about them carefully. I took a deep breath, and nodded my head as I made the decision to say what I’ve been dying to say for a while now. “But I can’t lie to you and say I don’t love Sehun, because I do… But, I don’t want to lose you. I want you by my side for everything. Just, please, don’t leave me.” I begged, finally looking up from the floor to him.
He doesn’t even look at me, but his face is full of hurt. It’s quiet for a moment and I start to believe this whole conversation is pointless, so I turn to leave the room. I’ve said my peice.
Before I can make it to the door, Lay finally speaks up. “You love him? I knew you did. I tried to convince myself that I was wrong, but dammit I knew you did.” He said, running his hands through his hair.
I walked over and sit down beside him, trying to pull him into a hug, but he only pushed my arms away. “I just… I need time to process this all. I don’t know what to do anymore. I still love you, (Y/N), but I can’t be with someone who is in love with another man and can’t chose. There are too many risks. I just don’t know what to think.”
I sigh, and look away from him. “Yeah, I know.. I’m sorry if I hurt you too much.” I stand up and walk out of his room, quietly shutting the door behind me. I walk back in, with my head hung low. “I forgot my keys.” I say as I grab them off of one of the drawers, I leave again, but have to re-enter the room for a second time. “I also forgot my phone…” Grabbing the device, I start to head out of the dorm, but Suho stops me.
“Is everything okay? Where are you going?” He asks, looking at me with concern in his eyes. I’m tired of everyone giving me that look.
I turn to face him and shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know.” I say, before leaving the dorm. I walk out into the cold winter air. My clothes are still a bit damp from last night. I have no idea what to do in a situation like this. I’m in love with two amazing boys who would give me the world if I asked for it.
I reached my car and got in to drive to I don’t even know where. I end up riding around for a few hours, until I ended up at the first place Lay and I met. It’s just some old restaurant now, but it was brand new back then. The place is shut down, but I get out of the car anyways and walk towards the old building. All the good memories flooding back into my mind at once. I slide down the window and sit with my head in my hands, tears uncontrollably running down my face.
At this point, I’m so lost, I have no clue what to do. No matter what I do, or who I chose, I’ll end up hurting one of them. I can’t handle that. I felt water fall on my arm, and look up at the sky to realize that it’s started to storm again. There’s people rushing to get to shelter, failing to share an umbrella. A man stops in front of me, looking down at me. “Are you okay, miss?” He asks, offering his umbrella to me. I only shake my head and stand up.
“Yes, I’m fine. Thank you.” I say.
He smiled at me and nodded. “The weather is supposed to just get worse, so I’d hurry and get home if I were you.” He bowed, and started jogging in the opposite direction as me.
He’s right. I thought. I should go home, I’ll make a decison on the way.
I start to drive back home, wiping the extra tears from my eyes and trying to steady my breathing.
It’s raining incredibly hard, making it hard for me to see out of my windshield, which resulted to me having to drive extremely slow. As I drive, my phone falls from my lap onto the floor. I decided to get it later, but it starts to ring. I looked down, only able to read the name. It’s Sehun. I tried reaching for the device and managed to grab it.
“Hello? Yes, Sehun, I’m fine.” I answered, before looking up at the road. There was a car coming towards me, they were on the wrong side of the road. I swerved, and because of the road being wet, my car starts to spin in a circle and slams against a wall.
Sehun’s voice comes through the phone speaker. “(Y/N)!? (Y/N)!? I heard a crash, are you okay?” He asked, but when there was no answer, he hung up.
I haven’t written in a while! I’m so sorry about that, I’ve been SO busy with band stuff and school stuff. I hope you all understand. :)