ball to the head

“I’d no idea you planned to be so… hands-on in your new position.”

Harry swallows around Draco’s cock and pulls back for a moment, the swollen head resting against his lip. “A good Deputy Head Auror should provide tangible benefits to the force, don’t you agree?” He strokes with his fingertips lightly behind Draco’s balls, just to watch him shiver.

Draco is lovely with his head thrown back, long neck flushed and Adam’s apple jutting forward. The huffs of his breath are loud in the quiet hall. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen quite these benefits listed in staff manuals.”

Harry places a quick kiss on Draco’s thigh, brushing his cheek along the shaft of Draco’s prick. “You’re in a pilot programme.”

Draco snorts. “As long as it’s a closed trial.”

“Very selective.” Harry stands slowly, letting his body slide up over Draco’s. His fingers close around Draco’s hips. “Up,” he says, and Draco wraps his legs around Harry’s waist as Harry lifts him with a hand beneath his arse.
Laurie Metcalf Plays Winn’s Mom

Laurie Metcalf sure has acting superpowers.

While the Tony-winning actress may be garnering Oscar buzz for her powerhouse turn in Lady Bird, she’s more than game for lighter fare. In fact, and much to her 12-year-old daughter Mae’s delight, Metcalf, 62, is currently in Vancouver shooting a part in CW hit, Supergirl, opposite star Melissa Benoist.

“I’m so thrilled to be here on the set of Supergirl!” Metcalf tells PEOPLE.

“My daughter, Mae, and I are huge fans of the show and it was her dream to meet Melissa [Benoist].”

The actress, who will play Winn’s mom, Mary McGowan, on an upcoming episode, made sure Mae was in tow for the shoot.

“I’m incredibly lucky to have the opportunity to bring Mae to work with me as I take on the guest role of Mary McGowan,” says Metcalf.

While the mother-daughter duo are having a ball, Metcalf will head back to Hollywood in time for Sunday’s Screen Actors Guild Awards, as she’s nominated for outstanding performance by a female actor in a supporting role for Lady Bird.

The 2018 SAG Awards, hosted by Kristen Bell, will air Jan. 21 on TNT and TBS.

People Magazine

anonymous asked:

☕ to follow from the gym/exercise thing, Serena doesn't like it at all, but Bernie has several medicine weighted balls and after a tough day at work goes and does a load of ball slams in the back garden, Serena sees and decides it's good imagining the ball is guy self's (or whoever has pissed her off) head. And that's how serena gets arms that are even stronger and that definitely comes in useful with Bernie and getting the upper hand

dont come @ me with strong armed serena……… im already dead in the ground why do u want to dig me back up and further kill me…………… f ffffuck

One arm on a triangular abdomen, or a large drooling mouth gaping instead of a behind, or a leg dangling where a head should be, or fifteen fingers arranged around the waist. They come in so many varieties, my children, my darlings, my disgusting little creations. They hobble and run, scamper and skitter, drag themselves and wet themselves, leaving behind a trail of some bodily fluid too indistinct to name. Nobody will remember them when I’m done with them. After all, they only credit the architect, not the construction worker.

I hold a hand to my mouth when I sigh, to avoid disturbing them. Even talking is ruled out, as some of the more delicate creations can be very unbalanced. A lot of the time, I simply rest my head on my balled fist and wait for one of the little bastards to fall over. Then I put them up straight and strike them on the back to tell them to get back to work.

When they reach the construction site, they break a part of their body, whichever is the most important part they possess. The part is joined with the rest of the ongoing project, where it is absorbed and accepted—or rejected, in which case I have to toss it away. Then, the little critter comes hobbling back to me and I spit out the dirt I’ve been chewing in my mouth, so that I can roll the worker in the brown matter.

On the table,the little one transforms, its body both destroyed and created by the dirt. Now it has new limbs, a new abdomen, new orifices, new everything. Sometimes less, sometimes more, but never perfect. A tic I developed from my earliest failed experiments: I close my eyes and shake my head violently. Then I remind myself that they’re not important. A million little failures come together to build one big success.

And the success lies in a bed surrounded by daisies and peonies. A horrid, beautiful being of throbbing veins and unformed muscle, deflated at parts and full of tumours at others. Sometimes it moans, sometimes it wails, mostly it just lies silent. Now and then, its eyes open and it looks to the sides. Its malformed jaw cracks open, but one of the little ones disappears inside it. Another dances over the open eye.

I haven’t decided on a name yet. I’ve burnt three books of baby names on the lawn. No ordinary name will suffice for this masterpiece. No human name will suffice. It has to be a new name, for a new kind of being. A being that surpasses us all. I think I will name it Perfection.

The thought excites me, like it does some nights. I tear my dress off and blow the little ones away. They fall off the table, waving their appendages and dying with a splat. With shaking hands, I climb the table and position myself on top of Perfection. I run my hand over it. I hold it and kiss it.

The ongoing saga of Harker and the stapler

My ball python, Harker, is really scared of this one stapler.

Every time he sees it, he balls up.

I was grading today and sure enough, the stapler was still scary.

However, for the first time, I introduced a second stapler!

He was nervous at first… 

But it didn’t take him long to warm up to it.

Pretty soon it became his best friend!

There was nothing the new stapler couldn’t do!

Including protecting him from the other stapler.

The moral of the story?

My snake is a weirdo.

We all know how Draco and Harry get when paired together in Potions. Well, I want to see them get paired together in Divination. Their foretelling mainly consists of them competing in who will divine a more gruesome death to the other. 

Trelawney is so impressed by their clairvoyance that they remain partnered for the rest of the year.

  • person: how can you keep that in your ROOM? it wants to kill and eat you!! it's vicious!!
  • my snake: (balls up because I wiggled her feeder at her)
  • my snake: (balls up because she saw a paper towel)
  • my snake: (balls up because she saw her reflection)
  • my snake: (periscopes too high and falls over dramatically, balls up and peeks around like "WHO DID DAT")
  • my snake: (hides in my bra for warmth)
  • my snake: (puts her own head under a running faucet and sits there for ten years) (it feels nice I guess?)
  • my snake: (rubs her chin all over my hand until I scratch the itch)
  • my snake: (gets stuck inside a paper towel tube, balls up when I free her from it, immediately goes back in)
  • me:
  • me:
  • me: totally agree

And then she stopped his heart.

She lifted her head, her chest heaving as she panted and she shot him a triumphant look, her bluebell eyes sparkling from under the reach of her dark fringe. And she smirked.

And right then and there Adrien knew he was absolutely screwed.

Because he wasn’t playing Dodge Ball with Marinette.

He was playing with Ladybug.

Inspired by this fic!


Draco gets very sleepy after he’s had a few firewhiskies. Harry found this out during their first Christmas together, and was pleasantly surprised when Draco curled up into a ball and put his head in Harry’s lap.