baku san


Part 01: A few days ago I had some problems and I even stopped talking to some people, first because I was not in the mood for it and second because I didn’t want to bother you. I thought about deleting this blog and sometimes I think about doing it, but I have lots of friends and I don’t want to lose them. I would miss you a lot if I left. I want to thank some people who helped me by sending me messages and also giving me edits (I don’t deserve this) but thank you very much ♥

Part 02: My classes started in a few days and that means I will not go in here often, so I’m sorry.

Part 03: Part 3: I got 7k+ \o/ Thank you so much guys!! Love you ♥

0 - D ★

@25th - @acejugs - @ackermanss - @ahristotles - @aikuros - @aizawashoutta - @akutagawaryuunosuke - @akutagawah - @akutagawaas - @akutagawa-r - @alastros - @arashi-hime - @aristotesmendoza - @asaaemon - @asaiis - @atsushisnakajima - @ayatochii - @ayukii - @ayumiko - @baekinhoo - @bakanoodle - @baku-san - @belumiri - @bokumetsu - @cutieyama - @d-a-z-a-i - @daza-i - @daiizume - @dazaiosamu - @dazaiosamu-s - @de-k-u - @doumekism - @durararas

E - K ★

@ekubou - @envy-and-pride - @escarletes - @erendragneel - @fol - @forbiddenyaoi - @fuyutsumi - @gaykei - @genoza - @ginaiza - @gurens - @hachikenz - @haiyse - @harleyquinn1234 - @hitobe - @hoetian - @hoshis - @hyukou - @hyoudov - @iazaya - @iishihara - @juminss - @justnosense - @k-isecchis - @kamuisyato - @kaenkie - @kadrena - @kaizoku-niiichan - @kamalas - @kamiiyamas - @karmuis - @katsum-i - @keikakus - @kenmahboi - @kentaroz - @killthedemoninsideyou - @kimi-no-parade - @kisacchii - @kishitan-iis - @kiryuuiins - @koitoshi - @komaedas - @kotorii - @kougaami - @kouzato - @kovuku - @kurokohs - @kurolove - @kurosakiw - @kuraxsawa - @kurummi - @kyoka-izumi - @kyoncchi - @kyuubara - @kyuubiko - @kzumekenma 

L - P ★

@larimii - @lahviis - @littlebratciel - @luuchans - @madamephantomhive - @mamacrows - @meruis - @mirayama - @mmakotoz - @miidoriyas - @mikotoray - @miuroko - @mormikas - @mukufufu - @my-kokoro-just-brokoro - @nagaikeis - @nahcoko - @nchuyas - @nezuhi - @nichinoya - @nicosrobins - @nikifforovs - @nozumu - @ntasume - @ohmikasaa - @ohreigen - @okiyas - @oiivkawa - @oikawastooru - @oikawatoo - @oikawatoeru - @okita-senpai - @ootsukiis - @omniprince - @opequenootaku - @oumakokichis - @paladinalchemist - @perfect-gerard - @plisetsking - @ponchizs - @priincessyona - @princewithcatears.

R - Z ★

@ranpohedogawa - @reizakis - @rinsuokah - @rose-flowers - @rvkiakuchiki - @ryuzakki  - @sdaishou - @sairenji - @sakataz - @saoril - @sawtsuki - @scarletail - @seethelights - @senzoe - @sesukes - @setsukocchi - @shinjikaris - @shizukku - @shogomakishimas - @soujiokiita - @somasyukihira - @suzuyaas - @tabinotochuu - @tachibana–chan - @takkasugi - @terushimaas - @tiianshan - @tobiohchan - @todorokii - @todorokiis -  @todorokih - @toorvus  - @trashizayas - @tsukiko-ciah - @tsukkinaisu - @tsukkikoi - @tsukkis - @tsukinomisu - @tykimiikks - @uzurume - @vaisravanas - @victornikiforovs - @viktcrs - @vikiforovs - @viktnikiforov - @yaoyorozus - @yatogamih - @youkas - @yuikkos - @yukkie-s - @yuratchkas - @yuriionisu - @yushiyuki - @zenwisterias - @zura-ja-nai-katsura-da - @zuura

#JLMyōkaioftheday : Baku, or the “Dream Eater” ☁️😴☁️ 

With a trunk and tusks like an elephant, feet like a tiger’s, and tail like an ox’s, the baku is a legendary yōkai that protects people from nightmares, by devouring bad dreams. 

If a person wakes up and doesn’t remember what their dream was, or if they don’t remember having a dream at all, it is said that they must have had a nightmare and that the baku ate it. 

In some areas in Japan, children are even taught to chant “Baku-san, please eat my dreams” if they get scared of nightmares! ✨But be careful though, because asking the help of the baku too much may result in it devouring even your hopes and dreams, leaving you empty inside. 😶 #japanloverme Art by @littlemisspaintbrush 🎨

Chapter 9: The Rage of Lyssia (What the Heart Wants)

Another anon submission! ———————- Chapter 9: The Rage of Lyssia - What the Heart Wants

On the fourth day after Meryl woke up, Maks watches as an aide bathes her. The curtains had been drawn but he pulled them aside, claiming his right, nodding at the young woman to continue. It is a like a little dance, but its choreography is perfunctory, too fast and obviously repetitive. Her hands are deft and practiced as she rolls her patient from one side to the other, changing the sheets first left then right. He pays attention to how all the intrusions into Meryl’s body are managed. When it is finished he smiles into the wide, nervous eyes of the girl, places his hands together and bows deeply. He is grateful for her lesson but she will not touch his wife again.

They have all gathered together in the cafeteria. No longer needing to cling to each other so not to drown, they feel the currents of life pulling them apart.

The trauma that has carried all of them like a tidal wave crashing through these days is ebbing. Now that the water is receding, the view of an infinite, uncharted, seething ocean expands before them. Meryl’s crisis is over. Her recovery, just beginning.

They all look at each other with gratitude and a longing to stay. The air in the hall is filled with a light perfume from the thousands of flower baskets that now decorate every table, create miniature forests in every corner.

“Alex, you should open florist shops from coast to coast,” laughs Cheryl. It his been his mission to distribute all of Meryl’s flowers throughout the hospital. Every waiting room looks like a wing in the National Botanic Garden, each a carefully composed display of color and structure.

Alex grins. “It’s crazy! I hope you can keep up…because… Apparently there is no one on this planet who doesn’t love your daughter!” When I started counting, she was getting maybe 200 gifts a day.

Paul says, “I put another load of cards and letters in that storage closet. It’s to the ceiling in there…What are we going to do!?”

In between small talk, they parse all the information given to them by Dr. Kurosawa: it’s not unusual for certain inhibitions to be lost as the brain awakens. He should have prepared them better for the potential idiosyncrasies. 99% of patients overcome this ‘absence of filter’. There is no real time frame or clear road map for her journey, but, medically, he has been impressed with her progress. He feels it is very likely that she will make a full recovery. There may be things that are different in her personality… There will be all kinds of therapy. Only time will tell whether she will skate again.

On the seventh day after Meryl woke up, Cheryl and Paul arrive mid morning. Somehow, they have acquiesced to the fact that Maks will stay with her every night.

The curtains around the bed are partially drawn but they can see he is bathing her. Paul steps back into the hall but Cheryl watches… mesmerized by what she sees.

There is no shame or embarrassment or tentativeness between them. Maks raises her daughter’s shoulders, her arms, her legs for his attention. She sees him kiss her fingertips as he rinses the cloth and cleans her breasts, her stomach, all of her. He does not roll her as he changes the sheets but lifts her fully into one arm, curling her tightly into his body, as he maneuvers the fresh cotton below her. Cheryl cannot hear all his words but she sees his lips speaking to her. Her daughter’s eyes follow every movement of his face. She smiles as this intimate choreography unfolds. He examines the port in her skull, the catheters that still remain. Meryl nods as she listens to him. He puts balm on her lips before kissing them. He massages her feet, pulling her toes, flexing her ankles. He stretches her legs, bending her knees into her chest before straightening them. He wraps her arms across her chest, stretching her shoulders. He pulls her elbows straight and manipulates her fingers.

Cheryl watches as he repeats over and over these movements before finally lowering her eyes in acknowledgement. Something has happened between them. Before all this. Their way together is far, so far, beyond anything she had suspected.

“Push against my hand a little bit, babe,” Maks says as he flexes her foot.

“I think you missed a spot,” Meryl points vaguely toward her knee.


“Yah… And”

“Here?” Maks kisses her other knee, grinning at her. She isn’t smiling, though.


“Meryl? Do your knees hurt?

"I think so.”

He begins a long stroke massage on her legs watching her carefully for any pain.


“Yeah, babe?”

“What the hell happened?”

Maks moves to sit near her face, begins to tell the her his story again until he decides to start differently.

“You were…I wasn’t here when it happened…”

“Oh yes!” She exclaims. You were in fucking India! Tell me everything!

Her mind flows like a river surging toward that vast terrifying unknowable ocean. Maks feels himself swept away by the current. He does not fight it, only tries to turn so he will only see the sky, his feet downstream, preparing for dangers that are coming.

Maks touches her forehead to bring her attention back. “I wasn’t here when it happened… Maybe you should ask Charlie.”

Meryl considers, then slowly says, “I think something is wrong with Charlie.” She nods her head sharply and presses her lips together, removing the possibility of that conversation.

The nurse’s entrance startles Cheryl. She dips her head in a slight bow as peeks through and then pulls the curtain surrounding them aside and gestures Cheryl to go before her. She quickly picks up the used sheets, turns to hand them to an aide.

“Please,” the nurse says as she hands a small card to the Cheryl. “Doctor would like Meryl-san to begin to eat.” She points at each option.

“Her brain is awake and now this must follow,” the nurse rubs her own stomach.

Cheryl reads through the menu options out loud for her daughter to follow.

Maks asks, “Babe, are you hungry?”

“Ohhhh….” Meryl’s eyes widen as she looks at him. “Can we fuck?” She asks.

Maks jerks his head back, looking aghast at Cheryl. “Oh god,” he says as three hysterical syllables of laughter escape. “She’s… It’s just an… We… I don’t…”

Meryl turns to her mother and smiles like an angel. “Shhh… She put her finger to her lips. It’s a secret!”

Cheryl is navigating the river with her face to the sky, too. “I’ll just circle jello, then?”

But Meryl’s current sweeps on again. Her fingers wrap around the nurse’s wrist, catching her before she turns away.

“What is that over there?” They all turn to look where her gaze directs. The chair in corner?

“On the wall… That little picture.”

The nurse studies the scrap of silk. “Baku…” She removes the golden pins and brings the fabric to Meryl.

“The man who is one of the Kōmō was given these to put here.” She gestures behind Meryl’s bed. Two more silk monsters are pinned to the wall. “Children and our elders believe in the dream-eater.” Her voice slips into a sing song cadence as she tells how the gods, when they finished creating the universe, took all the leftover parts and made the chimera, Baku. How the Baku can be summoned when awakening from a bad dream by calling his name three times and requesting that he eat nightmares. She points to the three slips of silk and whispers, “Baku-san, Baku-san, Baku-san.”

“Kōmō?” Meryl repeats the word.

“Yes… One of the people with red hair. He put these here, one over you, and over the one like you who came first,” she gestures to Maks, pointing at the images above the bed. “And over the fair haired man,” she motions to the empty chair in the corner.

“Alex,” Maks says with wonder…

“Fucking Alex,” Meryl answers.


Val is the first to be swept away. When he comes to say goodbye, he kisses Meryl’s lips tenderly before touching his forehead to hers.

“I love you, and I…” He tastes salt in his mouth as he tries swallow. Meryl looks at him, tilting her head. “The one who came first…” She gives him a piece of silk. “Baku-san.”
He turns abruptly and pauses in front of his brother. “You will bring her back.” He is gone before Maks’ arms can capture him.

Her gaze travels past to Alex. “Kōmō,” she whispers. He leans over her and she reaches up to touch his hair. Alex’s eyes fill with tears as he kisses her hand .

When Charles and Jaquie and Tanith come to say goodbye, Maks listens to her tell the whole story of the dream-eater. Watches her press the silk into Tanith’s hand.

“This is for Charlie,” she says.

Maks understands something then. Meryl remembers what she hears. When she asks what has happened, it isn’t the story she needs. What she wants is the reckoning.


Then, Paul, to his own disbelief, will leave his wife and daughter with Charlie and Maks. The night before he leaves, he lays awake in terror of the future. His mind settles on this inescapable truth… That it will be another man who will bring her all the way home. Not Charlie… Maks.

He does not know how he says goodbye to her.

“Daddy,” she says as he holds her carefully. She kisses him and says, “for Clay.”

And he chokes with relief at her understanding.


September… Three weeks later.

They are all back on Michigan soil.

At first, even after all she had witnessed, Cheryl had been adamant that her daughter return to their home for her convalescence.

“I know you have to go back to work, and…”

All that once seemed important is cast aside.

Maks wants to explain how it is between them, that had taken each other to love and to hold in sickness and in health, forever. But he now realizes they had married each other in another more selfish, oblivious time. They had stolen from their parents that singular joy all of them had dreamed of. Meryl, even in her uninhibited days, had kept their secret. He wanted to give them the gift of their union separate from this trauma, in full happiness and surprise.

He can only shake his head and plead, “I’m not leaving her. I love your daughter more than I can tell you. I need to take care of her.” It was only after Meryl tells her mother that she needs him, that Cheryl finally accepts the arrangement.

Maks moves into Meryl’s condo. He assumes her care with a commitment they come to trust.

Every night, as Meryl struggles with blinding headaches, Maks holds her in his lap and asks her to describe the pain… “What color is it?”

“Green. It’s like green smoke,” she says.

“If it’s like smoke,” he presses, “will it go away it if we blow together?” They breath in synchronicity.

“What does the pain taste like?” he asks her. She tucks her pounding head into the crook of his neck. “Like garlic?” She wonders. “We will never eat garlic again, baby,” he answers, running his fingers along her spine trying to distract her.

He feeds her as much as her appetite will allow. He holds her under the spray of hot water when she wants to stand under the shower. Holding her into his body at night, he reads to her as her fingers trace the words on each page.

Meryl’s recovery is both painful and miraculous. When she had returned to Ann Arbor, she had lost so much weight and strength it seemed her recovery would take a lifetime. But her intense desire to be whole filled him with awe. It was like watching an immortal, stranded on this earth, fight to bend the mortal world to her will.

“Please, baby, take it easy,” he implores when he finds her struggling to climb the stairs for the second time. “It’s been two.. only two weeks.

I’m not trying to fucking heal,” she says staring at him.

"Hey now,” Maks says back at her. “First you can make it all the way up, then you tell me what you’re trying to do.”

“I want to skate with Charlie,” is all she says as she crumples onto the landing.

“I’m not crazy,” she yells, reading disbelief in his face. “I know it won’t happen tomorrow. But it’s what I want. "Please, Maks. Please help me.”

Maks understands without only a small twinge of jealousy. He picks her up and carries her back to the kitchen. “Okay then, babe. First you gotta eat.”

He called Tanith that day.

“She needs him,” Maks told her. She needs to be on the ice with him. I don’t know how it can happen… I mean, obviously it can’t for a long time, but thats what she’s working for.

“He will not do it. He’s frozen with guilt,” Tanith says. “He needs to heal but his injuries aren’t like Meryl’s… She’s working for something and he’s running away from everything. He has already told me he will never skate again.”

“Well, they need to be together, whether it’s on the ice or not,” Maks said. “He needs you and she needs me but there is something you and I can’t give them.” He tries to say this without any trace of sadness, hoping that Tanith will understand and feel the same.

“Yes,” she agrees. “I know.”

Charlie hadn’t been able to bear the sight of Meryl’s fight. He had come to visit with Tanith only twice since they had returned to Michigan. Her emaciated frame, shorn hair, and her staggering weakness had been too overwhelming for him to witness for long. He had held her hand but the only words he could utter were those of abject apology. The encounters were too painful for Tanith and Maks to prolong.

Charlie had made his statement. And now, Meryl had countered it. Somehow, Charlie must be made to either accept that he, too, needed the same thing, or to turn his back on her.

“Charlie,” Tanith began, “let’s go see Meryl and Maks? Maybe this weekend?”

“Not this weekend,” Charlie said flatly. “Maybe next week.”

“Okay, babe.. I’m going to call and set a time for next week, then.”

Charlie looks at Tanith with a blank stare, nods slightly, and leaves the room.

When Maks tells Meryl that Charlie and Tanith are coming over for dinner in a few days, he watches her eyes light up with anticipation.

“Baby, I know you want to skate again. Chalie’s very afraid of that so you’ll just have to talk him into it, right?” he says with a laugh. “But first, just try to be like regular people… Not like a bionic crazy person, okay? He needs time… And so do you.”

Maks kisses Tanith on both cheeks when they arrived. Charlie lags behind but is pulled forcefully forward as Maks envelopes him in an embrace. As Charlie escapes Maks, his eyes catch sight of Tanith and Meryl locked in their own hug, he steps back instinctually. Meryl catches his hand before the distance is too great and pulls him into the room. The familiarity of her touch is undeniable. Charlie feels the tight grip her fingers as she tugs him toward her. His arms wrap around her tentatively… Careful not to hurt her. Maks’ and Tanith’s eyes meet around yet another fearful embrace.

Maks and Tanith have created a carefully planned, interactive food fest. The four of them dive into the retro fondue pots filled with chocolate and cheese. Strawberries and savory pieces are swirled into rich sauces. Tentative laughter emerges from their lips.

“Jeezus, Charlie! Remember that fridge on the show? Soo much food!” Meryl yanks a strawberry stem from her mouth as chocolate drips off her chin.

“Well, I hope you two brought the famous Davis and White appetites because this party is just getting started,” Maks says.

Charlie watches as Meryl eats voraciously. He sees her hand rise as if to sweep long hair away from her face… finding none there. His face falls at the familiar and now useless gesture. His distress didn’t escape Maks’ notice… Maks brushes his palm against Meryl’s short hair and smiles.

Tanith and Maks escape to the kitchen, preparing for the next course. They return with a tabletop grill and bowls filled with more food. Meryl and Charlie had been silent together during the short intermission… And then they stare in amazement as the swirling theater of crepe making and filling began.

Then comes lobster cracking and butter soaked fingers and lips.

Tanith and Maks watch as Charlie and Meryl relax into each other’s company. As prepared as they are, there are still moments of stabbing pain as they realize their lovers share a bond that excludes them… Still they both revel in the growing ease between them, knowing it is their best hope.

Maks slips out onto the balcony and stokes the fire he has prepared. Tanith busies herself gathering the ingredients for the last course… Chocolate, marshmallows and graham crackers.

“I can’t imagine what they’re doing out there! I mean, …” Charlie grins pushing himself away from the table, rubbing his stomach in mock pain.

Meryl laughs…

“You look great.”

“I feel really good… Charlie?” Meryl reaches for his arm. “I really want to skate.”

Charlie almost recoils at her words. Meryl’s eyes narrow.

“Don’t you trust me?”

Charlie slumps in his chair, eyes closed.

“I trust YOU. Please.”

“Meryl, I let you fall… I can’t …”

Maks and Tanith hold themselves still in the doorway, listening to the exchange. Maks senses the fury that can possess her about to override Charlie’s fear. He has experienced this new, raw untamed Meryl and wonders at the effect it will have on Charlie.

Suddenly she gives over to a wild frustration.

“You didn’t fucking let me fall… We skate together. Whatever happened was on me, too. You think I got hurt because of you? Well, fuck, Charlie! Look at us now. What did MY mistake, because I promise you this, I surely made one, cost you?”

Meryl moves slowly from her chair onto the floor. She kneels in front of him and slides her hands under his, pressing them tightly against his cheeks.

“Charlie… I’m not damaged. You cannot play that card. Nothing will make sense for EITHER of us until we get back on the ice… I love you and I trust you. And all you’re telling me is that you don’t trust me?”

“Do you trust me?” she repeats. “I need you.”

When Charlie finally looks into her eyes, she sees a terrible certainty. She tastes iron in her mouth, tears fill her whole body. He slides down, to level himself with her… Always her equal. She brushes her fingertips along his furrowed brow as she begins to shake.

“Feel the music,” she begs.

And then they are holding each other as fiercely as they can…

Maks feels tears streaming down his face and Tanith’s hand gripping painfully onto his. They glance briefly, their vision blurred.

“I can’t do it, Meryl. You didn’t make any mistake, somehow I… Slipped.”

Maks thinks she is going to strike Charlie’s face.

Meryl’s springs up hauling Charlie’s in the air with her. Her tiny body is like a puppet controlled by the mad fury of Lyssia.

“You’re not. Listening to. Me,” she says through clenched teeth, slamming her palms into his shoulders for emphasis. “But I AM listening to you, Charlie White… And do you hear what you’re saying? That I was some kind of baton you twirled over your goddamn head and then dropped. Is that what you really think?”

“All of you,” she stands back and sweeps her pointing finger through the room including Maks and Tanith in her accusation, “don’t want to re-live what happened. Well, I can’t re-live it because I never lived it… because I don’t remember.”

Her eyes are suddenly wild with a new thought. “The tape… the video of the practice!”

Charlie recoils as he realizes what she is wants.

“No!… No!”

Maks moves forward now. He stands between then, stretching his arm across her and turning her to face him. He sees the triumph in her eyes as she focuses on her chance to finally know.

“Come here for a second, Meryl"… He pulls her into his body. Her heart is pounding. She stands rigid until the power of his embrace gives her the protection she needs to stop fighting.

Maks looks over his shoulder as Tanith gathers Charlie, moves to the door. She glances at the kitchen. Her hands are trembling. Maks shakes his head, mimes a cell phone to his ear.

Maks picks Meryl up pulling her limp legs into the crook of his elbow. He carries her to their bedroom. She is silent but her eyes tell him she is not approaching sleep. He sets her on the bed and leaves to start the bath. While the water runs he undresses her. She doesn’t resist but she doesn’t help, either. He kisses her lips gently, hoping for a response. When he feels her mouth open, to accept his kiss, he pulls back quickly… Only later will he realize that, at that moment, he understands only a fraction of Charlie’s fear.

Finally, he lifts her and sets her into the roiling, hot water, tucking a towel under her neck. He undresses and moves to settle behind her naked body. The heat of the water begins to relax them. His eyes close as he folds his arms around her.

And then suddenly she breaks the calm. “Well, that didn’t go very well,” she says loudly, as she starts to laugh.

Her laugh rises until it turns to wracking, terrible sobs.

And he holds her with all his might, with all his heart.

After, her body damp in his arms, spent, she sleeps. He remembers all his promises and thanks the one thousand and one gods he called to in the long dark night of her awakening. How, he wonders, has he been given the chance to fall in love with this woman, not once… But now twice in a single lifetime.