baking with the family

I stopped shaving my legs every other day
I stopped only eating citras and drinking a gallon of water a day
I started smoking weed with my friends
I stopped bringing my phone with me to Temple, to coffee houses, to record stores, to concerts
I stopped ignoring my family and started baking cookies and pancakes with bananas and nuts and apples
I’ve made 32 pancakes since Friday,
I’ve burnt 13 but I’m getting there
I won’t let you burn me anymore I’m so fucking sick of flames
Turns out I don’t get off on pain
I don’t get off on being treated like a toy
I do not enjoy having a collection of sticky notes covered in conversation topics because you never held up your end
It’s true that one person always loves more but the other side needs to give something
You knew this would happen I have to go for my own self respect
I should’ve known when you stopped sending good morning texts
Or when your texts didn’t come at all until
late at night
When your words were always about sex
Maybe I should have turned my phone off or blocked your number when you told me about the first girl
Or the second or the third
But I thought you were worth it that I’d never find a better guy
You always listened you respected my boundaries
It’s probably easy when you have six other girls who will give you what I protect
I’m not picking up this time
I’m not checking your timeline I’m not listening to your music
I’m not dying my hair your favorite color or getting a tattoo
You
You don’t deserve my kind of love
Not from me,
You deserve a quiet love that won’t take up too much time
You killed me over and over again
You wasted and
disrespected me without even noticing
My heart has been replaced with beetles and old peach pits but soon
You won’t live there anymore to poison my wood
Flowers will bloom in my brain once again
Watered by my own love and confidence
Planted by me for me
You will never see them
Lilacs and roses were my favorite before you
Fuck your daisies you’re the one who cut them down
—  I Always Grow Back
The Signs As How They Procrastinate
  • Libra: scrolls through every social media they have
  • Aries: stares at a wall for an hour and a half
  • Scorpio: cries over one B for two hours
  • Sagittarius: blogs about studying instead of actually studying
  • Leo: sketches strangers in a near-by café
  • Taurus: researches expensive colleges
  • Pisces: takes a nap
  • Gemini: draws lavish bath with bath bombs and rose petals and coconut oil
  • Cancer: bakes treats for their family
  • Virgo: organizes books by color, alphabetically, and then by number of pages
  • Capricorn: re-writes their to-do list over and over until it looks just aesthetic enough for them to maybe complete something on it
  • Aquarius: binge watches 5 seasons of grey's anatomy
Steven's not Cookie Cat, Lars is

Lars being killed, then resurrected and turned into the same magical being that lion is has been hinted at since the very first episode of Steven Universe. It’s been in front of our eyes this whole time.

Lets first look at the Lyrics for cookie cat and analyze it:

Oh, he’s a frozen treat with an all new taste

Cause he came to this planet from outer space

Lars attitude completely changed once he was on the ship, and on homeworld. From admitting his cowardly ways, to standing up for himself, protecting his friends, and showing his appreciation for everything he didn’t appreciate before. “Frozen treat with an all new taste” symbolizing his cold attitude before, with who he is now.

“A refugee of an interstellar world

But now he’s at your local grocery store”

A refugee is defined as a person who has been forced to leave their home. Lars was taken from his home, unlike Steven who surrendered himself.

Cookie Cat

He’s a pet for your tummy

Cookie Cat

He’s super duper yummy

Cookie Cat

He left his family behind

Cookie Caaat!

“He left his family behind”, yes both Steven and Lars did leave their families behind. But Lars didn’t willingly leave his family behind like Steven did. Steven left his family behind to protect them. Steven probably feels a great satisfaction knowing that he’s not the cause for his family’s danger anymore. Lars probably feels more torn, and upset by leaving his family behind. A family he didn’t appreciate before. Also Lars seems to feel guilt for leaving Sadie behind when he could have protected her. So I feel this applies more to Lars then steven.

Now lets look at the first ever scene in the series:

the scene starts off with Steven yelling no! And his dramatic reaction to the loss of his beloved Cookie Cat ice cream.

then proceeds to Steven being in denial claiming that it “has to be a dream”. So why so dramatic over ice cream? Because it’s not about ice cream. The scene symbolizes lars’s death in the recent episode off colors.

Steven calls out for Lars.

holds him, and continues to mourn for the loss of his Cookie Cat. So why hold Lars? Someone who obviously is busy stocking, and clearly rejects his affections. It’s because Steven holding him tightly hints at the recent events that just unfolded in the previous released episode.

Then the next frame Lars addresses that cookie cats have been replaced with Lion lickers. I believe this hints at Lars (Cookie Cat) changing into the same magical being that lion is (being represented as Lion Lickers)

I’d like to point out in the next frame that Lars describes cookie cats as “wimpy” which is particularly odd that he chose that adjective to describe cookie cats. He could have said stupid, lame, gross, etc. any typical insult. He chose “wimpy” how does Lars see himself? Lars does not view himself in very positive ways. He does see himself as a coward, scared, everything that a wimp is.

Lars continues to say “why don’t you make some with your “magic belly button”. Which I also find odd to some extent. Being that we needed to address Steven, and his gem origin at some point in the episode, but why would Lars address it in that way? Why is Lars the first to address Steven’s gem, and gem abilities? Not someone else? Someone with better understanding of gems? I might be reading a little bit into this, but I think this is foreshadowing Steven healing Lars much like Lars is claiming that Steven heals Cookie Cat, and bring cookie cat back with his “magic belly button”. Much like Steven does with Lars. Reviving Lars after he died with his magical healing powers.

Next Steven describes cookie cat as having a crunchy exterior, which sounds like who? Lars pretends to be tough, and have a rough exterior to impress people like the cool kids. Which also goes into his style. His tough-looking graphic tees, his edgy haircut, even his gauges. I believe he does all of this to make him look tough. So that he can “fit in” and look cool to the cool kids.

Then Steven describes cookie cat have a creamy inside. Much like Lars who plays it off like he’s this cool tough guy, but inside he’s this soft, pampered kid with a loving family, who loves to bake. Who has genuine feelings that he tries to hide for people. Who cares, and has more bottled up emotions than anyone could have figured.

Then Steven brings it back to mourning of his cookie cat. Claiming that cookie cat was “too good for this world”. Why so much emphasis on the loss of cookie cat? Why so dramatic? Why make it seem so literal for the death of cookie cat? It’s because cookie cat is really just Lars.

Also id like to point out cookie cats mixed colored eyes. Something about that reminds me of Lars’s scar over his eye.

Braids 💆

Originally posted by ohbabyyeah

A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this! It’s the longest I’ve written on this blog and I’d really appreciate the feedback here  – I’m most likely doing a Part 2 depending on how you all like it. Enjoy :)

Harry loved family reunions.

Amongst the bickering cousins and lurid pitter-patter of children, he often found himself feeling at peace as his folks filled him in on all the stories he’s missed out on. He’d laugh about his jittery uncle who nearly burnt his eyebrows off from an old barbecue, nodding approvingly as his aunt gushes about her eight year old who’s just won the flashy new title of spelling bee champion. He likes the way they treat him too. With adoration in their eyes, resurrecting from the years they’ve watched him as a young boy (instead of the usual gaze of stardom he’s used to). He almost, if not, especially enjoys the way they admire his success, not as an ego-booster, but as a way of praising Anne for his upbringing, despite the major gossip that briefly tainted his mother’s name around her first divorce.

But even in a house packed with his most favourite people, he would always feel relatively exhausted from the length of the reunion, a full four days he’d reckoned. It was unfair really, he loved his crazy family, but he always felt like he had to put on his best face, never getting his usual dose of solitude to rejuvenate.

So when Harry first invited you to join him, he hadn’t quite expected you to be so patient with his family.

“Yes, he is very handsome,” you’d chuckle, “but we’re only friends.”

“You’re sweet, love, but I think this little girl wins the beauty contest, hmm?”

“Right, he is very good with kids.”

“M’only in uni, ma’am, so I’ve got a few good years before settling down.”

Keep reading

Voltron Character's phone wallpapers
  • Shiro: Keith and his cat
  • Keith: Shiro laying on his Physics book
  • Pidge: Her and Matt at the Garrison
  • Hunk: He and his Mom
  • Lance: His family
  • Allura: Her and her father
  • Coran: He, Allura and Alfor
  • Zarkon: Kittens
  • Lotor: Himself
  • Haggar: Zarkon
  • Plaxum: She and Lance near the Shore.
The Queens

Queen of Wands is like that creative spark of energy. Your summer bonfire. Fireworks on the Fourth of July. She’s full of passion, energy and sparkle. Warm, friendly, and has the ability to charm her way. She’s also fiercely loyal. Sociable. She’s the best friend you know you can confide in and she will just hug you so tight while making plans in her head to either cheer you up or go after the boy who made you cry. She is a force to be reckoned with. She is the lioness who will always protect her cubs. She will defend the underdog. She’s like a field of wildflowers and dancing in the rain. She’s like the scent of sweet amber and sandalwood musk; sensual and romantic.
Astrologically speaking, she represents the Fire Signs: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius

Queen of Cups is like the perfect temperature of pool water. It’s not too hot or too cold, it’s comfortable. She’s like… that like feeling you have when walking into your grandmother’s house and smelling fresh baked cookies. She is the mom of the group. Her friends are her family, and her family is everything. She is homelike and nurturing. She’s like that feeling you get after you walk in the door from a long day at work and you take off your heels and bra. It’s like total comfort. She’s the care package your mom sent when you moved away for college. She’s like a vase of beautiful roses. She is the sound and tranquility of a quiet babbling brook, but her emotions can be dark and strong like a raging river. She’s beautiful and compassionate. 
Astrologically speaking, she represents the Water Signs: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces

Queen of Swords is like that quick-witted girl you wish you could be more like. Have you ever played a scenario in your head over and over about what you should have said? Or like 3 hours later, you come up with a brilliant comeback? She already thought of those brilliant words, said them, and walked away. She’s like the sharp-tongued Great Aunt who cuts through the BS and won’t put up with it. She’s also quite clever, bit quirky, always thinking, and figuring things out. While the Queen of Wands can put on the charm to get her way, the Queen of Swords uses intellect and reason. She is a woman of her word. She means what she says, and says what she means. She has a good heart and has the best intentions, but would rather not sugarcoat things. She’s like the cool, crisp air in the early morning.
Astrologically speaking, she represents the Air Signs: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius

Queen of Pentacles is like walking into an old library and breathing in that familiar scent of books. Or a stack of money. She’s the boss lady. She has great work ethic and incredible dedication. She is seen as the “roots” of the family. The Matriarch. Where the Queen of Cups is the mother, this is the grandmother. The top lady that everyone respects and values. Someone who is grounded, stable. She’s the valedictorian at your high school and voted most likely to succeed. She is practical. She’s the foundation of the strongest building. She can be stubborn and set in her ways, but she can see what others cannot. She is down to earth, wise beyond her years, and very responsible. She is like the root of the strongest oak tree. It’s possible that she’s not wealthy in a monetary sense, but her wisdom and life experiences make her the richest woman in the world.
Astrologically speaking, she represents the Earth Signs: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn

Hetalia family headcanons
  • UsUk: The love-hate family. Tosses insults over the table at dinner but will 100% cuddle afterwards.
  • RusAme: The cosy family. Always ready to serve you hot chocolate or iced tea.
  • FrUK: The quiet family. Francis is cooking, Arthur is doing embroidery, and there's most likely an argument over who plays the music.
  • Spamano: The opposite of FrUK. Loud voices and Spanish music can be heard at all hours.
  • Gerpan: The animal loving family. Adopted seven stray dogs and eight cats, and feeds the birds every morning.
  • AusHun: The musical family. There is a musical instrument in every room. There are symphonies played every night. The neighbors hate them.
  • PruAus: The conflicted-music family. Gil will play rock music just to annoy Roderich in the morning, and in return will be awoken at 2am with Mozart. The neighbors hate them more.
  • PruHun: The I-hate-your-guts-but-love-you family. Gets into fights constantly, but in the end both still love each other to the moon and back.
  • Rochu: The hermit family. Would prefer to cuddle and read together instead of having to go outside.
  • Ameripan: The nerdy family. Are constantly late to things because they were playing video games together.
  • GerIta: The loving family. Love each other. Love the dogs. Love the neighbors. Love the house. Love the sun. Love.
  • PruCan: The friendly family. Makes pancakes and cakes for the neighbors, will go to every social gathering together just to be nice.
  • AmeCan: The cuddling family. So many cuddles. So. Many. People wonder how they get anything done.
  • Franada: The cooking family. House always smells of cinnamon, vanilla and sugar. Anyone who walks past could be victim to being invited inside and stuffed with baked goods.
  • Amestralia: The sporty family. Constant games of football and rugby outside, with high stakes for the winner.
5

Soo i made some fan characters to the wonderful @thebbros AU

Name: Raphael Soph (Dog)
Age: 23
Likes: His family, playing ukulele, dancing with his sister (Emma)
Dislikes: Lies, rude people, rain
History: He lives with his sister Emma in the bakery. After Emma took the charge of the bakery, he helped her a lot. Now he doesn´t have time for it because of his job as a mailman. Sometimes he is scared that something might happen to Emma while he is away, cause she is all alone in the bakery. He also likes to play his ukulele in the bakery when he has time, the most of the time when there are few or none customers. Back at the time when he had alcohol problems, Emma was always there for him and helped him to get rid of it. He would do anything to protect his sister. He is friendly, but can be rude to the people he don´t trust to. 

Name: Emma Soph (Dog)
Age: 20
Likes: Her family, listen to music while baking , decorating, meeting new people, kids, 
Dislikes: people without patience
History: Emma is a girl who loves to bake from the bottom of her heart. She found out about her passion for baking when she was helping her grandmother in the bakery since she was little. While she was helping, She learned to put her whole heart and work into baking. After her grandmother died, she was in depression, but not for long. After that she decided to look at it from the positive side and took the charge of the bakery and continued the job. She is always very kind to her customers and sometimes even starts a little conversation. Some people still love this bakery because of the special taste of cakes which were made by the good old recipe that her grandmother wrote. she can be too naive and her brother always tells her that but she won´t listen to him. 


The price of hard work

Check Please, following Bitty’s jam debacle


Lardo sighed. Immediately, Bitty set the ingredients on the counter and turned around, caretaker instincts on full alert.

‘Lardo? What is it?’

‘Humpf. I need to price my art, and it sucks,’ she mumbled, drawing a duckling on the margin of her list. ‘Needs to be done before the end of year expo, but honestly? I’d rather give the lot and don’t bother with money.’

‘Larissa Duan! You spent the entire semester on these! You can’t just give them away!’

‘… Yeah but I like making art.’

‘It’s still work! You should be paid for that effort! And all the money you spent on supplies- lord I can’t even imagine how much those gigantic canvases are. Weren’t you complaining about how expensive good paint is just the other day?’

‘Yeah, I guess so. So, you’re saying all good work deserves remuneration?’

‘Of course!’

‘So you should get paid for your jam.’

‘Wait what- no! Not me! This is completely different-’

‘Hm. I tried. Shits, your turn.’

At that same moment, Shitty enters the kitchen, dressed only in a pair of Falconers boxers and a black tshirt that belonged to Lardo, which fit him like a crop top. Bitty didn’t even know he was at Samwell that day. 

‘Eric Bitty Bittleman The Second, tiny bro of my heart, maker of the pies, we need to talk.’

‘If this is about the jam, I already told the Falcs I didn’t want to be paid-’

‘I’m here to talk to you about market pricing, my man. There are other people, out there, working their asses off to make delicious jam, and they love doing it as much as you do. But those bros, bro, are actually depending on it to pay the rent. What you’re doing, here, is depreciating the value of jam, and convincing fans of said jam that they can have an product of excellent quality- for FREE! This is bad for business, Bits, this can even come back and bite you in the ass when you open a bakery. You don’t want to hurt future you and your fellow bakers, don’t you?’

Bitty stays silent for a moment, mouth wide open.

‘I- I didn’t think of it like that! I was just, you know, in the zone, you know how I get? And then there was all this jam, and I know the team would make a good effort, but they couldn’t seriously eat it all? But, I didn’t know it actually had an impact on the economy?’

‘Well, now that they know where to find delicious jam and baked goods for free, do you think the Falcs, their families and the SMH are going to get it elsewhere?’

Bitty bit his lip and looked at his hands.

‘I just wanted to make them happy. I love feeding people.’

‘And you can! You still can! I’m not saying you can’t make gifts once in a while or bake for your friends, I’m just saying there’s a line at some point.’

‘Yeah, I guess you’re right. But I know nothing about- about pricing! Lardo, how do you even manage with art?’

‘I use my resources, man,’ she said, snapping her fingers.

At that moment, Ransom and Holster barged into the kitchen, both carrying their laptops.

‘Boys? Were you all waiting in the hallway?’

‘No time for chitchat, Bits, time is money,’ says Holster, straddling a chair backwards in front of him. ‘We’re here to help.’

‘I got a spreadsheet here,’ says Ransom, sliding his laptop. ‘Compiling ingredient prices, electricity for the oven, mason jar prices, transport from Samwell to Providence and your work time, from the moment you went to buy those fruits until you closed your last mason jar.’

‘That- that is a lot of time.’

‘Wish I had that kind of concentration for studying law,’ grumbled Shitty.

‘It’s not all,’ continued Ransom. ‘This second sheet calculates the prices of similar products from spots around Samwell and Providence, from the Stop N’ Shop to the fancy little cafés and farmers market near Jack’s house.’

‘Wait, did Jack sent you those?’

‘Brah, Jack ASKED US to do this,’ said Holster with a roll of his eyes.

‘So, here are the prices of a single jam unit- counting the ingredients and the mason jar,’ said Ransom, before clicking on another Excel page, ‘and this is the price of each if one calculates the time worked, compared to what bakers and cooks make in those same cafés and suppliers.’

‘…I- I understand wanting to keep the market, and paying for the ingredients,’ hesitated Bitty, ‘but I’m still not sure I want to be paid to bake?’

‘I’m gonna give away every single one of my art pieces,’ said Lardo, doodling more ducklings. 

‘… Alright, alright, I think I get it. I’ll just put the money in the Haus funds, since I took pretty much all of it to pay for the ingredients.’

‘You put back what you took and you keep the rest,’ said Shitty. ‘Do you really want to graduate without a cent in the bank and live off of Jack’s salary?’

‘What? No! Of course not!’

‘So start making dough, my boy. That future bakery won’t finance itself, you know.’

‘Also, people respect a product if they have to pay a reasonable price for it,’ commented Holster. ‘You don’t want to ruin your reputation from the get go. Honestly I’d suggest asking for more, since it’s also fucking delicious and a secret family recipe and organic shit people are crazy about, but we’ll work our way up there over the years.’

‘Here, I got the price per unit, what everyone bought listed hockey team, then alphabetically, the total, subtracting what was borrowed to the Sin Bin fund- that makes-’

‘GOOD LORD THAT’S MORE THAN FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS.’

‘Well, it WAS a shit ton of jam,’ shrugged Lardo.

‘And hard work, too,’ added Shitty. ‘So, do you accept?’

‘Well, I guess? Y’all make a lot of good points…’

‘Sweet,’ said Lardo, sending a text.

A moment later, Bitty’s cell phone vibrated with a message. His bank application signalled that someone transferred him funds- 

‘How did Jack know exactly how much to send???’

‘Told ya, Bits, it was all his idea,’ said Shitty. ‘And the Falcs have been giving him money, even hiding it in the pockets of his hockey bag, to pay for their stuff. He just wanted to make sure you were on board with it.’

Bitty didn’t know what to feel about all this, he was still insecure about pricing his jam - and his pies, cookies, muffins and other pastries, if one was to believe Ransom’s other Excel spread sheet- but the reality was that he was now five thousand dollars closer to open his own bakery, someday.

Langblr Vocabulary List Ideas

Household items
Christmas
Love
Spring
Autumn
Summer
Winter
School subjects
Social media terms
False Friends
Linguistic terms
Animal names
Nsfw terms
Political terms
Lgbt terms
Sports
Religious terms
Car interior and exterior
Countries
Languages
Nationalities
Food and drinks
Medical terms
Clothing
Colors
Personality traits
Moods and feelings
Body and hair
Space
Biology
Anatomy
Mathematical terms
Science terms
Driving
Makeup
Jobs and occupations
Legal terms
Essay terms and phrases
Travel phrases
At the airport
Easter
Halloween
Fairy tales
Childhood
Gerting old
Puberty
Adulthood
Thanksgiving
Music
Movies
New Year’s resolutions
Exercising
Cooking and baking
Talking
Shopping
Family
Numbers
Art
Likes and dislikes
Country-specific holidays and traditions
Grammar explanations
Idioms
Verb conjugations

Small things I loved about Andromeda, all minor things about the world;

- canon gay turian couple
- a human that was raised by two Quarians - her godparents - and honours them with the name ‘vas Hyperion’
- everything about Sahuna ama Darav, Jaal’s true mother
- lesbian human/turian couple in the Vortex. They have no lines. But they totally gon fuk.
- literally nothing will ever make Evfra happy ever. he is the most eternally miffed cabbage man
- Rorik and Ljeta
- Vorn and how he’s a total dork. Flower Crown Krogan.
- how Bradley gets mad if you wear N7 armor, you ungrateful piece of cheese
- how you can canonly make your Ryder a dork of gargantuan proportions
- distressed Krogan really wants gingerbread cookies. someone bake for him. where’s Sahuna
- Jaal’s family home. life in an Angaran family is like eternal bumper cars. you cant not run into someone

alright you know what i got mad anyway sorry

  • sally jackson is a phenomenal mother but she does a fucking lot more than bake cookies okay
  • this woman lost her family when she was five
  • this woman grew up being neglected
  • and then proceeded to drop out of high school to take care of the man who neglected her
  • and then she raised a fucking baby entirely on her own, with no family at all
  • a baby that had a death warrant on his head since the day he was conceived, no less
  • she had nothing and she worked her ass off to make a good life for her son, and she did a fucking good job of it
  • and then she spent years in an abusive relationship all while continuing to work her ass off and make a good life for her son, despite being verbally and physically abused about everything she did
  • and then she fucking got herself out of that abusive relationship, and there is nothing fucking cute about sally jackson feeling so desperate and afraid of her abuser that her only way out was to kill him okay
  • and then she uses her new money to get a new apartment for herself
  • and then she fucking saved up enough to fulfill her lifelong dream of going to college to become a writer
  • and she still routinely has to let her son risk his life to save the world because she knows it wouldn’t be fair of her to try and beg him not to, it’s part of who he is and she knows she needs to respect that, so instead of guilting him and giving him ultimatums, she fucking gives him her blessing
  • do you know how fucking hard that must be for her though? and do you ever hear her guilt him or take it out on him? n e v e r
  • so like fuck yeah she’s kind and beautiful and loving but she aint soft and sweet this woman is tough as fucking nails, she’s strong, she gets fucked over and over again and she still never gives up
  • she pulled herself out of tons and tons of extremely tedious and difficult situations even when literally all the odds were stacked against her
  • percy even says that there’s steel in her, that she has a rebellious streak that’s just like him
  • and like i really don’t wanna ever hear anyone forgetting this part of her ever again
  • so next time you talk about her baking cookies remember that she’s also an orphan who grew up in an abusive household, dropped out of highschool, became a single mother, survived an abusive marriage, and worked her ass off to get herself to where she is today
Don’t Stop Us Now

@softkent ‘s 14 Days of Love fic-a-thon, day 6: ruined surprises!

It all started because Katya decided to have mercy on Eric and let him take morning classes this semester. WGSS120 was an amazing class, Professor Atley had the coolest stories about how postwar industrialization led to compulsive female domesticity, and his seatmate wasn’t the worst thing to see at 9:30 AM every Tuesday and Thursday. He would have almost been dreamy if he had the slightest knack for small talk. As it was, Eric didn’t even have a name to go on, just intent blue eyes and an ass that even the baggiest of shorts couldn’t mask.

One day, Eric decided to drop a hospitality bomb on the guy and see if he could coax a response out of him. They were both consistently early to class, so Eric budgeted ten minutes for a brief chat before class started and turned to Cute Guy with a winning smile on his face.

“So how about that reading, huh? I thought it was fascinating how cake mix became a prestige thing- everyone in my family bakes, and I don’t think we’ve used a box mix in forty years.”

“Yeah,” the guy said, “I think it had something to do with the scientific advancements they made in food preservation for the troops. Shelf stabilization wouldn’t have been nearly as achievable in earlier years.”

Miraculously, once you got onto a clear subject, Cute Guy was actually a decent conversationalist. Eric found himself losing track of time as they dissected last night’s chapters of Marling.

“And the American National Exhibition anecdote!” he giggled. “Who can even tell the difference between Russian and American Coke?”

“I bet it’s easier with all of the Soviet Union breathing down your back. ‘Da, cola of Mother Russia is vkusno!’”

“Nice accent,” Eric told Cute Guy.

“Really? Thanks, I’ll have to tell Geno. He’s always knocking my Russian. He’s, uh, a friend of my dad’s, and we both play hockey.”

“So that’s what your weird doodles are? Hockey plays?”

“Yeah, I’m captain of the hockey team here. We’re not half bad, if I say so myself.”

“Wow,” Eric enthused, “you must be a pretty good skater, then.”

“Yeah, I guess. I could teach you sometime, if you want. I’m Jack, by the way,’ Cute Guy said.

Keep reading

I Got My Mom Hooked on The Great British  Bake Off

Me: Mom, you might like this. It is kind of calm and lovely.

Mom: Okay, yeah, sure. Whatever.

*several hours later*

Mom: I despise you utterly.

Me: I know. You are  sitting there going, “Oh, it needs to be proved more” or “Oh, they shouldn’t bake it that long.”

Mom: I am so addicted.

*a few minutes later*

Mom: I despise you completely and utterly.

Me: 

check please characters as things i've done, boring edition because y'all got some wild lives
  • bitty: enjoyed baking with my family members
  • jack: felt worried about living up to people's expectations
  • shitty: engaged in a friendly debate with my peers in my economics class
  • lardo: was proud of an artwork i produced
  • holster: sang along loudly to songs in the car
  • ransom: was really worried about a test, but got a 100
  • nursey: helped edit my school's literary magazine
  • dex: used some tools to fix a towel rack
  • chowder: enthusiastically enjoyed a nice croissant

Well, it’s that time of year again. School is just around the corner. In about a month, you’ll be starting your first official year as a college student! Let’s be real, you’re probably feeling some weird combination of terrified, excited, nauseous, and strangely independent, all of which is very confusing (as if moving, starting at a new school, and meeting 5000 new people in one day isn’t confusing enough). So, what can we do about this weird combination of feelings? 

Well, for one, I can offer you some sage wisdom (or something like that). You see, not only is this about to be my fourth (count ‘em, fourth) rodeo, but I specialize in helping incoming freshmen. I spent a year and a half as an RA, and I’ve spent the past year as an ambassador for my college of engineering, literally having the sole purpose of helping incoming and existing freshmen learn the ropes.

So, buckle up, because (and this is a long one, folks) here are Sam’s 20 pieces of advice:

  1. Make sure you have almost everything you’ll need for your dorm. Keep in mind that wherever you’re going will have stores, a fact your parents will point out multiple times, but also remind them that people will be coming from far away places, and they should get first dibs at the Wal-Mart shower caddies. (exception: if you are the one coming from a far away place)
  2. Play tetris with your stuff before the morning you move. Chances are you have a lot of junk, so don’t try to figure out how to make it all fit in the back of your hatchback the morning you head to school. Take some time in the days leading up to the move to make sure you have boxes that will actually fit in the back of your car.
  3. On the same note, don’t overpack. You need a lot less stuff than you think you do, I promise.
  4. Know that everyone is just as terrified/excited/nauseous/independent/confused as you are. You aren’t alone in this one. Which is strangely comforting.
  5. Once you get there, take note of what your RA actually looks like. I noticed this with my own residents, that even though I did their check in or filled out their paperwork, they didn’t realize I was the RA until about two weeks in. If you’re not sure who they are, or if they’re even an RA, let alone yours, just ask them. Once you figure out which one belongs to you, memorize their face so you know who to go to for help.
  6. Keep an open mind. Whether you’re meeting your new roommates for the first time or you were mildly concerned by your new neighbor across the hall, don’t make any opinions about anyone before you give them at least a week. Everyone is still figuring everything out, just like you, so don’t be too quick to judge.
  7. Let your parents/guardians/grown ups clean your room when you get there. They may not want to, but if they’re anything like my mother, they’ll only say they don’t want to and then start vacuuming and wiping down every surface they can find. Don’t try to stop them, just let it happen. They’re nesting for their little chick and it’s helping them feel better about abandoning you in a strange place.
  8. Don’t eat dinner alone in your room your first night. You don’t necessarily have to go out anywhere, you can eat Easy Mac, but see if your RA has anything planned or if there’s anything happening on campus. If not, take your Easy Mac or freezer dinner to the lounge and see who’s around.
  9. Introduce yourself to as many people as possible. It is perfectly valid to not remember their name during the first week, and this is one of the few times in your life it will be socially acceptable to ask everyone to remind you of their name 3 times in a row. But even if you can’t remember their name, you’ll recognize their face and feel more comfortable approaching them if you see them around campus.
  10. Find something that you’re passionate about and join a club or organization. I always tell my freshmen residents, as well as any incoming freshman I take on a tour to find at least two things they’re extremely passionate about. Find something within your college, like a professional society for your major, but also find something else. Whether that’s an intramural team or a hobby club (my favorites on our campus are the Lumberjack Club and the Cat Club), find what makes you happy and can give you a break from all of your classes. Now, keep i mind that you can join more than two clubs or organizations, but practice some moderation here. You don’t want to overextend yourself. You’re still trying to figure out where the nearest bathroom is from all your classes, you don’t need to try to conquer campus.
  11. Befriend an upperclassman. Preferably one in your major, but any will work just fine. What you’re looking for here is someone you feel comfortable asking weird questions to, like “SOS, I’m so lost where do I go from here,” or “Wait, which building was it where I can’t take the front stairs?” Also, they’ll usually have material from whatever classes you’re taking that they will be willing to pass on to you.
  12. Don’t put stuff off. It may not seem like a lot, but it definitely piles up. This applies to homework, joining that club, talking to that cute kid in your class, or confronting someone about that thing that upset you. Just shut up and do it.
  13. The only people you should worry about impressing are your parents and yourself. Make them proud, and make yourself proud, and you will have accomplished everything you should have set out to do during your time in college. Your GPA does not define you. It’s just a number.
  14. If the people you meet at orientation don’t become your BFFs, it’s not the end of the world. You have so much time ahead of you to meet the people that will stay in your life for years to come, so don’t stress about meeting them now.
  15. Be aware of those around you. For most of you, this will be your first time sharing a bedroom with another human, so be aware that they have lives and feelings, too. No one needs to hear you fornicating at 3 am. Also think about the other people in classes with you. Be respectful of not only your time, but the time of those around you as well. 
  16. Learn how to bake awesome cookies. Everyone will love you. Note: any baked goods will suffice.
  17. Call home every now and then. Your family wants to hear from you and make sure you’re still alive and feeding yourself properly, so check in every now and then.
  18. DO NOT go home your first two weeks of college. You’ll be homesick, and that’s normal and expected, but I promise you that it will only be worse if you give in and go home. Besides, you’ll miss out on all sorts of opportunities to meet new people and get plugged in on campus.
  19. You might fail your first exam and that is just fine. I literally got a 22% on the first exam I ever took in college, and they’ve let me stick around for 3 whole years. College is different than high school, and the grades may be lower than you’ve been used to. Just power through and keep working hard and everything will be just fine.
  20. Ask for help if you need it. I don’t care what kind of help you need, but you can’t get it unless you ask for it. Whether it’s in your personal life or class, there is a human who exists for the sole purpose of helping you through anything you’ve got going on, so call your mom, approach your RA, go to your professor’s office hours. The resources are there, you just need to know where to look for them. 

Now that you’ve read this, get off Tumblr and go introduce yourself to someone new (unless you aren’t on campus yet, in which case, keep doing what you’re doing).

Alrighty, that’s all I’ve got for now. Good luck to all of you, you’re going to rock the socks of your freshman year. Let me know how it goes!