baking rants

I feel like people never talk about Bitty making cobbler.

Like peach cobbler? Is my actual jam. Cause it’s just cinnamon peaches with fuckin oatmeal, butter, and more cinnamon and sugar crumbled together on top. I could just eat the top stuff and be content for days.

Maybe this isn’t a normal dessert, but it’s my favorite and it requires a lot of butter and it’s basically a crumble top pie without the crust (which is why it’s so amazing cause crust is usually bland in my opinion unless it’s cheesecake)

Bitty making cobbler. That’s all I want.

the other day my friend was talking about how she respects everyone’s opinions and will keep an open mind to everyone she talks to…and she said about we “shouldn’t generalize even about oppressive groups uwu” hun…that must be easy to say if you’re a cis upper middle class white girl. must be pretty easy. because making jokes about our oppressors is obviously just a bad as killing and hurting real people..

So we have a feminism club at my school and the people in it wanted to have an “equality” bake sale to represent how women make $0.70 to a mans $1.00 . They charged men a dollar and women 70 cents. Sounds like a good idea right? Well apparently no one at my school understood why there was different pricing and guys got so mad at the club members they were calling them “stupid dykes” and nobody wanted their “feminazi cupcakes” anyway. The group received multiple death threats from people who felt it was unfair they had to pay 30 extra cents.

If you don’t think sexism exists then you’re wrong

Magi Rant *angrily bakes*

So I rarely do an actual magi rant but these past chapters have not been good for my heart, so im just going to let it all out now. In the form of a banana bread recipe, cause how else am i going to deal with all of this, other than eating the pain away?

So buckle your seatblelts and prepare your self some sure fire fluffy banana bread -which sure as the sun can’t describe magi right now- which takes around an hour to make.
Serves: 1 (I dont know imma really sad right now so i could eat this all by myself)

The Stuff:
1c sugar
2/3c oil
2 eggs
mayo, vanilla approx. 1tbs each
approx 3 ripe bananas
2c flour
2tsp baking powder
1/2tsp baking soda
salt, cinnamon & nutmeg

How to:
Calmly preheat oven to 350F, making sure there isnt anything funny in the oven cause this will become more of train wreck than it already is.
Now mix the sugar (now I like a good mix of brown and white sugar appx 2:1), oil, eggs and a good squirt of mayo in a bowl, while crying sadly about how Kouen deserved a better death. Mash the bananas in a seperate bowl, when it looks like your heart after this chapter youre done. Add a dash of vanialla and the soul crushed bananas to sugar mix. Stir and cry again.
Mix in the flour, baking powder and soda. Now add a pinch of salt and not the entire container, just cause youre salty does not mean your banana bread needs be. 2 big pinches of cinnamon and 1 pinch of nutmeg will add the magic and happiness that doesnt exist in the chapter. Now stir that mix real well, cause this was not the content you initially signed up for but too bad youre too deep into this to back out now
Pour into a greased 9 by 13 baking dish, and bake for around 40mins or when a tootpick comes out bloody clean, unlike a certain sword I know

AND ITS DONE, LIKE KOUEN’S LIFE

NOW IM GONNA GO AND EAT AWAY MY SORROW AND PRAY THAT THIS ISNT REAL.

silly things:

  • jehan who will say things like “oopsie daisy!” when he breaks a bone but curses like a sailor if he gets a paper cut
  • bahorel having a youtube channel where all he does is aggresively bake cupcakes and rant about things and somehow he has like a huge following and is kind of youtube famous
  • joly who loves to garden and who has a sixth sense for wen his friends are sad, so he’ll just kind of show up at your doorstep with a bouquet of flowers with no explanation or prompting, he just knows
  • bossuet who is a master juggler, and who will often just pick things up off tables and start juggling them to amuse his friends
  • combeferre who stress-knits, and so if he’s feeling particularly stressed, he’ll just churn out like half a dozen of versions of the same hat, in varying colors of cheap yarn
  • courfeyrac who learns how to unicycle after finding a unicycle on the side of the road with a ‘FREE’ sign stuck to it, and now he just kind of will frequently ride it to classes
  • grantaire who creates animal personas for all of his friends and turn them into childrens book characters for his final one semester for one of his art classes, and gives a copy of the book to all of his friends
  • enjolras who keeps a bunch of photo booth strip photos of him and combeferre and courfeyrac pulling dorky faces in his wallet because he likes to carry around the reminder that he has people who love him in his life
  • cosette who has a charm bracelet with twelve charms on it– one for each ami, plus marius, musichetta, and eponine
  • musichetta who drops out of college, switches to cooking school, and then opens up her own restaurant as soon as she graduates– she calls it Mes Amis
  • eponine who collects silly socks, and whose favorite ones are the ones that grantaire sloppily knitted for her one christmas
  • feuilly who has a never-ending love for musicals (legally blonde is his favorite)
  • marius who accidentally acquires a rabbit names bunnicula– no one’s quite sure how it happened, all they can get out of marius is a jumbled tale including a broken washing machine, falling out of a tree, four hitchhikers, and a lack of spare change
Midnight Baking

Ransom and Holster sneak down to the kitchen for a midnight snack one night. Halfway down the stairs, they hear a commotion coming from the kitchen and run in there to find the place an absolute mess. Bitty is furiously baking but it’s not like they have ever seen before. Bitty is muttering something about Jack and this boy and recklessness and his stupid face. They get Bitty to calm down a little and ask what’s wrong. 

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong? Did you not see that game tonight?” Ransom and Holster just kinda look at each other cause “yeah Bits, we watched it with you. Jack was ‘swawesome,” 

“’Swawesome? ‘Swawesome? That boy has no regard for his health or well-being. He is gonna drive me to an early grave. ‘Oh that’s just hockey’ he says, ‘I’m fine’ he says, ‘It’s just a black eye’ he says. I’ll show him a black eye.”

Rans and Holster exchange looks, having no idea why Bitty is so worked up. Bitty just continues his flurry of baking and ranting, never quite explaining why Jack’s face has him so concerned and the boys slowly back out of the kitchen, grabbing one of the pies off the counter on their way out. Bitty’ll never miss it in his current state. 

Today marks 23 months that I have not self harmed.

That's 702 days I have stayed strong. And I’m so beyond proud of myself. 

I can’t believe that this time next month I will be 2 years strong. 2 fucking years. I’m so happy right now. No one else is proud of me, but that is okay. Because this isn’t about anyone else. This is about me and my body. And I’m proud of me. And that’s all that matters. I don’t completely love myself yet and everyday is still a struggle, but I am so glad I do not hate and try to destroy myself like I used to. 

So I dedicate this bowl to me. <3

~Stay baked everyone(: