Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote. This guy comes up to me on the street and he tells me he hasn’t had a bite in three days. Well, I knew what he meant, but just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein.
(Warning: inaccurate depiction of drug use as the writer has never tried drugs in his life. He is a good boy and shall stay as such.)
Disclaimer: Characters are 16 of age in this prompt.
Disclaimer: The author does not condone the use of drugs of any kind. Don’t do drugs kids their not fun.
“Did you just DRUG ME?!” Squealed the petite bluenette with a tint of mirth from where she sat across from Adrien. One slender hand hit the table in a feeble attempt to brace the tiny girl from falling over as the other abandoned the fourth chocolate confection she had previously been eating to press against the side of her temples as if it could restore her mind to proper thinking order. Those sweet blue bell eyes were glazing over pretty quick as a melodious sound bubbled up from her throat, threatening to break free.
Adrien for his part was fairing pretty well, all things considered. He slowly dropped the browning he himself had been planning to eat as he watched blue haired girl he’d invited over for a fun afternoon of tutoring and gaming quickly devolve into a fit of giggles. The blonde had only just offered her the plate of brownies not ten maybe twenty minutes ago before he left her side to mess with his TV and console systems to get it ready for their would-be epic fight royal in Ultimate Mecha Strike III. When he finally got the system working, he returned to her to find… This.
Why was the normally shy and clumsy Marinette Dupain-Cheng trying to hold in a laughing fit as her mind abandoned normal reason? The answer was in the pudding, or in this case, brownies. Adrien hadn’t meant any harm by them, he’d been given them by a fan that morning and thought they’d be perfect to share with Mari when she came over in the afternoon for their second hangout in two weeks. He’d been so excited to hang out with her again after their ‘date’ at the theater that he didn’t reason out why accepting fan gifts and giving them to friends was a /bad/ idea. Also, who in their right mind gives a celebrity model LACED BROWNIES?! If he ever found out who that girl was, he’d have choice words with her.
Back to the problem at hand, Adrien looked up to profusely apologize to the girl he’d just accidently baked, only to realize she was no longer there. A loud ruckus coming from the mini fridge across the room drew his attention, and the blonde boy nearly had a heart attack. Bent over in front of the fridge, her cute tiny bottom end wiggling happily in the air, was the bluenette rummaging through his fridge for something.
Calling over her shoulder the girl chuckled. “Hey! How come you don’t have anything good to eat in here? I need something to wash down those brownies… Oh a salad! Wait… aw nuts, Balsamic Vinaigrette. Geez Adrien don’t you have any sweets?” Marinette inquired as she stood up, taking with her a small salad that she began to shovel into her mouth. Blue bell eyes locked on green as a wicked smile slowly crept across her lips as the bluenette took in the blushing model who’s eyes most certainly weren’t on hers. A dastardly idea came to her addled mind as she took another bite of salad.
Adrien felt as if he was slowly dying inside as the normally hot mess of a girl strut like a model before plopping her rear on his lap to get comfy. She took another bite of lettuce, chewed, and swallowed, all before addressing her new seat with mirth lacing her tone. “You know, this is kinda nice. A little weird, but i could get used to this.”
They both could hear the audible gulp as the blonde struggled to figure out where the shy Mari ended and this unrestricted mari began. “D-do you mean t-the salad or…” Marinette just laughed as she turned her head to look Adrien dead in the eyes as she whispered. “No silly, i meant your lap. You know i’ve had a crush on you for the longest time right?”
Plagg, the little shit god of bad luck himself, couldn’t contain his hysterical laughter as he fled through a wall before Mari could notice him. Adrien promptly bore holes in that spot before a certain blue haired blue eyed girl sitting in his lap shifted her legs to his side, leaning her shoulder into his as she rested her head on his neck. “You know… you need to make it up to me for those ‘special’ brownies you gave me… How do you plan to do that Mister Agreste?”
“Adrien.Exe has stopped responding, please wait while the system reboots.”
AHAHAHAHA so i’ve never been on drugs, but i’ve known a few people who have, and one person i knew got kinda frisky when high. She acted kinda like this, so i’m drawing from that. Also did confirm a few more details with a friend, they know who they are, so this is doubly fun!
Anywho, if it’s not obvious, a fan gave adrien laced brownies for some reason. He in turn offered them to mari while getting things ready for some ultimate mecha strike three, giving her plenty of time to eat a few before the ‘spike’ kicked in.
Betcha this isn’t at all what you thought you were getting Squirrellygirlart, but tell you what, i left a hint in this text. figure out which line is the prompt to the next post i’m gonna write, and you win some very delicious sin for it!
(Yes this will have a part 2, yes it will be sintastic.)
an actual conversation i had with my choir squad during our free period
“i bet you cant think of 50 different ways to get high”
“bitch i bet tf i can”
“ache and bake- getting high due to physical or emotional pain”
“cake and bake- smoking and eatin some cake”
“drake and bake- gettin high with drake”
“drake and bake part 2- getting high with drake bell”
“flake and bake- smoking and eating frosted flakes”
“break and bake- smoking on break”
“shake and bake- getting high and dancing”
“steak and bake- getting high at steak ‘n shake”
“blake and bake- getting high with ya man blake”
“take and bake- getting high with some chinese takeout”
“rake and bake- getting high while mowing the lawn”
“fake and bake- getting high but pretending you’re way more stoned than you actually are”
“mistake and bake- getting high on accident or regretting it after”
“quake and bake- smoking during an earthquake”
“lake and bake- getting high on a boat”
“make and bake- making your own weed?”
“nake and bake- smoking naked”
“sake and bake- getting high for the sake of getting high”
“wake and bake- smoking as soon as you get up in the morning”
and finally, we come full circle:
“bake and bake- making some muffins, smoking some weed”
Fantasy AU where Chell is a knight/adventurer type trying to take down the demon queen terrorizing the land, who nobody knows was once a human sorceress whose dying mentor turned her into an unkillable monster against her will so she could carry on his magic experiments forever. Wheatley is the guardian spirit that has watched over Chell's family for generations. Chell's family don't tend to live very long.
This is a great idea! Hope you don’t mind if I build onto it a bit! (Whether or not what this is what you were thinking. Probably not, whoops)
Instead of a typical european-styled fantasy setting, I tried to give it more of an aesthetic that things like SoTC or Journey have.
Wheatley’s sort of like an ice/mist elemental, almost? (Design HEAVILY inspired from @jf-madjesters1‘s design from the tf2avatar au, because that’s the only way I can imagine him in a fantasy setting now) All the other cores and robots are sort of along these lines. GLaDOS is, trying to go with her original design, a giant shadowy demon who can use them to augment her abilities.
The portal gun’s some sort of sword that’s passed down through the family and lets the user do some magic. The sword’s specialty is transference of existing matter or energy, but Chell can also get it to do some fire magic, which is cool.
-Aperture is the ruins of a gigantic city, which the sorceress and her mentor in question used to live in
-Wheatley doesn’t have very good reign of ice magic, considering he’s made of it, and accidentally freezes things a lot.
Plz write blitzstone (doesn't have to be just plz make hearth and blitzen main characters) here hearth gets injured (like hands or fingers i dont know) and can't communicate and blitzen freaks out.
Sorry it took so long for me to write this. I couldn’t think of how Hearth injured his hands, I had an idea that he burnt his hands after minor baking accident I had (I burnt my finger I’m okay though). It’s more of Blitz taking care of Hearth then freaking out hope it’s okay, Hearthstone’s PoV. It’s set a little before the actual book events so Magnus is still alive. A little side note this is Hearth reading lips,when someone is signing and talking at the same time, and just signing.
Hearthstone winced in pain. He looked at his palms, his skin was burnt, covered in blisters. It hurt to move his fingers. He didn’t care about that now. The only thing that is important is to find Blitzen and Magnus.
He ordered Blitz to take Magnus to the shelter. Magnus fell unconscious right when the attack happened. Blitzen wanted to argue, but Hearthstone didn’t have time. Now he was scanning the shelter for two people that mattered more to him then anything in the whole nine worlds. Blitzen found him first, he rushed towards him.
Hearth! Hearthstone read his lips. He wanted to ask where Magnus was, if the boy was okay, if Blitz was okay but it hurt to move his hands. He couldn’t sign. Still seeing Blitzen eased his pain. Blitzen looked at him, his facisal expression screamed worry. He extanded his index fingers of both hands brought the fingers toward each other twice using a jabbing movement. The sign for hurt.
Are you hurt? Magnus is okay, he is watching TV. Blitzen signed.
Hearth relaxed a bit. Blitzen and Magnus are fine. They are safe. Blitzen repeated his question. Hearthstone extanded his palms to show Blitzen the damage that fire giants made. Blitzen understood what the burnt hands meant. Hearthstone couldn’t talk. Blitzen covered his mouth in shock. Hearthstone couldn’t blame him. His palms were covered in red blisters. It was most likely second degree burn, and it hurt like hell. Blitz looked behind him as if something had alerted him. Hearth followed his gaze and saw Magnus. Magnus looked at Blitz then at Hearth. Hearth wanted to know what Blitz was telling the boy, but he couldn’t read his lips. Magnus eyes widened, and Hearth prayed that Blitzen hadn’t told him who they really are, or what he really is. Surely Blitz knew, out of all people, how dangerous that knowledge is. Blitzen turned to Hearth again.
Magnus is going to get some bandages for your hands. Blitzen said. We need to get this cleaned up.
Blitzen lead Hearth to one of the bathrooms. Since it was a public bathroom the smell wasn’t pleasant, but after months of staying in shelters Hearthstone got used to it. Blitzen opened a tap of water testing it before he led Hearthstone’s hands under the stream. The water felt cold to Hearthstone, it hurt, but at the same time it was calming. Something moved from the corner of Hearth’s eye. Magnus was standing by the door. He raised his hands. In one hand he held some bandages, in the other a tube of cream.
Mr Fisher said this might help. Magnus said showing off the cream.
Magnus handed the cream to Blitzen. Blitz took some of the soap and cleaned the burnt skin. With each touch Hearth winced in pain. After applying some ointment on the wounds, Blitzen used the bandages to wrap the burnt skin. Hearth watched Blitzen’s fingers working with grace and precision. Hearth was reminded of the time Blitz saved his life, by making the tanning bed. The bandages were tied loosely so he couldn’t feel the pressure of the fabric.
You shouldn’t sign if it hurts too much. Blitz said as he signed out the words. Hearth wanted to tell him he knows, how it hurt to make hand gestures. How much he wished to tell him how he appreciated Blitz around. his hands were bandaged so his palms were open. He pressed the tip of his fingers to his lips and released it. The sign for “thank you”. It hurt, but he wanted to say it. And it was the least painful hand gesture he could make.
Later that night when Magnus fell asleep, it was Blitz’s turn to stand and guard the young demigod. Hearth watched Magnus breathe in his sleep. He looked so peaceful. He felt a small tap on his shoulder, and turned to see Blitz.
Please be careful. I don’t want to lose you. I can’t watch over this kid alone. Blitzen signed. Be careful, for me. For Magnus. We can’t lose you. You are important.
Hearth couldn’t reply. He wanted to sign ‘I love you’, but it was painful to move his hands to make that gesture. He could feel his eyes tearing up. There were so many things he wanted to tell Blitz.
Why don't people ever write stories about Bitty's bad baking days? When he's bought everything he needs and cleared his schedule for a whole day, and he's going to try the new recipes that he's been gathering. Fun! But then the bread dough just doesn't rise. And the cookies burn. And the scones are half raw inside. And then he's like "Hey, I'll make a pie. At /least/ I can do that," but the dough is melting because the room's too warm from all the baking. His scream can be heard down the block.
1. im so sorry that i left this buried in my inbox/drafts forever. for some reason it just fought me every step of the way.
2. heck yeah i stole an idea from the replacements.
3. ‘liza’ is short for elizabeth (which is long for ‘betsy’). bitty is very particular about his oven names.
4. i hope you enjoy this ;n; im so sorry it took me forever
Bitty doesn’t know what’s wrong with him. He’s no stranger to baking accidents–but it’s usually a lid not being all the way on when he goes to add a dash to the bowl, or maybe being in such a rush that he leaves a pan far too close to the edge of the counter and bumps it with his hip later on.
But he can’t explain what’s happening to him now. It’s like he’s been cursed and everything he touches is doomed to an inedible fate. He can’t blame it on trying out a new recipe (though even that would be a reach, Bitty hasn’t been bested by a new recipe since he was thirteen), because everything he’s tried to bake so far today has been tested, tried-and-true for months if not years.
First, the bread that Jack requested for his games next week doesn’t rise.
Then, the cookies Bitty promised Alicia burn. Burn. Bitty can’t remember the last time he has honest-to-god burned something. He has to sit down and focus on breathing for five minutes before he can gather up the courage to apologize to Liza for putting her through that.
Finally, Bitty tries to make scones for breakfast the next day. At first, they look perfect. The ideal shade of golden brown and the smell in the kitchen is heavenly.
Then he bites into one.
He spits out the half-raw dough and lets out a noise of pure frustration before throwing the entire plate of scones into the sink, ready to tear his own hair out.
Fine, he thinks. Fine. He’ll just make a pie. Pies are easy. Pies are simple. Pies won’t betray him in his time of need.
- Belle wins back the rights to her child through a game of pool wager with Hades, putting the skills she acquired as Lacey to use.
- Emma is put in the awkward situation of being hit on by a clueless Uncle James.
- Granny puts out a rap album and lets success go to her head.
- The horse that Regina saved turns out to be evil, as revealed in a dramatic flashback. Meanwhile, in the present, the Horse attempts to blackmail Rumple into turning everyone in the Underworld into a horse.
- Henry discovers that Violet is secretly the love child of his Great-Uncle James.
- Storybrooke is thrown into chaos, as the dwarf’s long absent mother, Chicken Little (portrayed on screen as a giant, badly animated, cgi chicken) comes to claim her children.
- Taking a page out of the Parent Trap movie, Charming joins forces with his brother James to fix the latest Rumbelle marital spat.
- The Gang returns to Storybrooke only to discover that Hook’s reanimated corpse is at large. It’s a race against time to return Killian’s soul back into his body before the annual Storybrooke Lasagna Bake-Off.
- After an accident involving fairy wands, Neal has suddenly become a precocious 6 year old.
- Mr Gold’s house now suspiciously looks like 3 pieces of furniture placed in front of a green-screen backdrop.
- Henry discovers that Violet’s mother was secretly yet another child that Cora had given birth to and abandoned.
- Dr Whale must call upon his old pal, Van Helsing, after Vampire-Merlin emerges, seeking revenge.
- Due to a unfortunate hook-crotch accident, a random trip the the hospital reveals that Killian actually DOES have an allergy to alcohol. Emma manages to stop him before he can throw himself down the town’s well.
- Sleeping Beauty learns that Maleficent & Lilly have moved in next door.
- Henry discovers that Violet’s previously unknown-unseen brother is actually Hook’s love child.
- Everyone rushes to New York after it’s revealed that tree-Dopey was cut down and transported into the city. The plotline is dropped the next episode after all decide that they’d rather go shopping than look for a tree.
Tomorrow, I return from my winter break. As a preview of what’s to come, here is Ellen Foley performing “The Witch’s Rap” from the 1986 world premiere production of Into the Woods at the Old Globe Theatre in San Diego, California, with the song’s original lyrics.
Music and lyrics by the great Stephen Sondheim. Book by James Lapine.
NARRATOR: Because the baker had lost his mother at birth and his father in a baking accident, he was eager to have a family of his own, and concerned that all efforts until now had failed. *knock knock knock* BAKER: Who might that be? WIFE: We have sold our last loaf of bread. BAKER: It’s the witch from next door! BOTH: We have no bread! WITCH: Well, of course you have no bread. BAKER: Then what do you wish? WITCH: Oh, it’s not what I wish. It’s what you wish. Nothing cooking in there now, is there? NARRATOR: The old enchantress went on to tell the couple that she had placed a spell on their house. BAKER: What spell? WITCH: In the past, your father brought his new bride to this cottage. Oh, they were a handsome couple. But they were not handsome neighbors! You see, your mother was with child and she developed an unusual appetite. She took one look at my beautiful garden and told your father that what she wanted more than anything in the world was
Greens, greens, she’d only eat greens Parsley, watercress, cabbages, and lettuce He said “alright,” but it wasn’t quite Cause I caught him in the autumn in my garden one night!
He was robbing me, rapping me! Rooting through my rutabag, Raiding my arugula And ripping up the rampion And my champion and my favorite! I should’ve laid a spell on him right there. Could’ve turned him into stone or a table or a chair.
But I let him have the baby, she was fine and fat. Then I said “Fair’s fair,” I said “Tit for tat! "Since you took a little rampion, I’ll take a little brat!” And I did just that.
BAKER: I had a sister! NARRATOR: The young man was incredulous at this news, but the Which refused to tell him any more of his sister. She went on. WITCH: You’d think they would have learned their lesson! But no. Your mother no sooner was carrying you that she developed another strange hunger. This time, she told your father that what she wanted, what she wished, what she craved was
Beans, beans, now it was beans! Red beans, green beans, and all the in between beans! Wax beans, dry beans – Soon she’s eyeing my beans! Now then, at the count of ten, Till I spot him in the bottom of my garden again!
I said “Stealing my beans? "Now you know what that means!” “Oh, don’t take away the baby!” “Alright,” I said. I didn’t want another brat anyway.
But my magic beans? That I did resent, And I meant to prevent any further incidents. So I sought to, at the minute you arrived, she went. And I laid a little spell on you.
Sorry son, but your family tree is gonna be a barren one.
Now there’s no more fuss and there’s no more scenes, And my garden thrives– You should see my nectarines! But I’m telling you the same I tell kings and queens, Don’t ever never ever mess around with my greens! Especially the beans!
you do a Sam x Reader fluff where the reader is baking something in the kitchen
and she accidentally burns herself and knocks over things in the process and
Sam finds her with a destruction of mess around her.
Word Count: 901
Summary: Reader attempts to bake, leading to an accident. Sam x Reader.
was a lazy afternoon in the bunker. Sam and Dean were both in their rooms
otherwise occupied while you were in the kitchen, planning to… bake. Everyone
knew you weren’t a good cook. The last time you tried to make pancakes, you
nearly set the whole kitchen on fire.