baked bites

bittyholtz celebrity AU

(((because i can’t ever have great writing ideas for normal pairings or situations that people care about)))

anyways AU where holster is a famous singer-songwriter, he’s probably got a Grammy at this point, and oh man he’s definitely considered a heartthrob (I’m picturing like the musical equivalent of lorde and the teen sex icon equivalent of shawn mendes) and decides he wants to take time away from his career to go to college (which is why he’s 22 as a sophomore just like in canon)

he’s very open and social at samwell and even lives in a dorm as a frog so he obviously gets a ton of attention for a while but samwell is small and soon everyone who cares has met him and is just kind of used to it so he can just kinda live his life (except during Tour Season but we’ll put that aside for now)

right at the outset of holster’s frog year he meets and befriends ransom and they really hit it off. best bros. legendary pong partners. ur platonic drift-compatible favs. this is how holster comes to be an honorary member of smh, gets his hockey nickname, and he really Finds His People in the haus. when ransom gets dibs to the attic the next year, he invites holster to share it with him bc it’s Big and holster is a Friend so it’s not like any of the other smh people would object.

enter one eric r bittle. smol gay baker boy who comes to samwell for hockey, ya ya we know that part. the gag is, he’s a HUGE adam birkholtz fan. how can he not be tbh the boy has the voice of an angel and he’s HOT AS FUCK. (and he doesn’t use gendered pronouns in any of his songs so for all anyone knows he could totally be queer which isn’t a lot to go on but bitty can always hope)

holster doesn’t go to the smh games cause he’d get mobbed and he doesn’t wanna take attention away from the teams successes (and he doesn’t know much about hockey anyway). which is why it’s not public knowledge that he’s connected in any way to smh. bitty comes to samwell not really expecting to get to see adam around much. maybe he’ll get the chance to introduce himself sheepishly and say “I’m a big fan” but that’s It

fast forward to bitty’s taddy tour. he gets sidetracked and loses the group as he tends to the nasty kitchen. he’s in the middle of putting his pie in the oven when none other than Adam fucking birkholtz comes home, headphones in, singing some new adele song or something idk, and drops a couple groceries on the counter before going upstairs. bitty is SHOOK and when shitty pops his head into the kitchen to ask what’s up, why is bitty not with the group anymore, bitty just says point blank out loud “sorry i just remembered that im Really Gay” and then hurries out of the haus so he won’t pass out on the nasty kitchen floor

anyways this got WAY longer than i was anticipating and i really wanna write a proper fic of it SO im ending this headcanon here bc im gonna write the shit out of this later toodles

Kore Bites (lemon-violet tarts)

Spring Equinox for me is about Persephone returning to the world above and and embracing her Kore aspect. It’s about light fruit flavors and bright flowers.

In honor of her holiday, I make fruit related tarts as offering every year. This year I decided on lemon-violet.

(Candied violets are missing because the cat knocked over the tray onto my floor…oh well).

For the shortbread base*:
-1 cup butter, softened (NOT MELTED)
-¾ cup powdered sugar
-1 tsp vanilla extract
-2 and ½ cups flour (I use all purpose)

(*Note: if you want a sweeter base, feel free to use a sugar cookie recipe- I just don’t like super sweet desserts)

Cream the butter and sugar together, then add the vanilla extract. Slowly add the flour in bits at a time, stirring constantly (or have the mixture running, if you use one). When finished, it will crumble a bit but still stick together easily as a single dough when pressed with fingers/hands.

Next you want to press about a quarter’s size of dough (quarter like the American coin, not a quarter of the whole dough…) into the bottom of mini-cupcake/muffin pans. I like to use paper liners, but you don’t have to.
Bake the shortbread bases at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for approximately 10 minutes. You want to take them out when they’re blond still (not golden brown) so you can press them down ASAP with the round base of a wooden spoon or spatula. This is so you can pipe more lemon-cream cheese topping!

For the lemon-cream cheese topping:
-1 package cream cheese (8 oz)
-¾ cup powdered sugar
-1 tbsp lemon juice
-some lemon zest (grated lemon rind)

Cream the sugar and cream cheese first until it’s whipped quality. Then gently add in the lemon juice and zest. Spoon the topping into a piping bag and pipe onto the shortbread base. Then add additional lemon zest and candied violets if you like!


Person: “If you’re a vegan, why are you fat?”

- Vegan General Tsos Mock Chicken and Buffalo Bites.
- Pink Sugar Rush Cake, Vegan Cream Eggs, 2 Twinkies, a Raspberry Poptart and Captain Crunch Fruity Berries Cake.