bagel winchester


“dNEA” Cas yelled.

“What daddy” dean asked the bagel in front of him

“I,,,m pragnet???? But???? THE RUSSIAN CONDOM????” Cas would look up at dean but he can’t since he’s just a simple bagel.

“I didn’t wear one. Pls love me 5ever bagel Cas”

“But my dad”

“You mean God? I don’t care. It’s okay. He may not understand but he’ll still support us”

Sam walked in. “Dude, are you talking to a bagel??? I know I’m a fancy law boy but I feel like you should also know that’s weird”

“But Sam I love him. He’s pregnant with my child”

“Jesus fucking Christ” the moose sighed


Gabriel smirked at his brother before snapping.

“Oh geez!” Castiel exclaimed when he looked down. He had become a bagel.

“Lmao” Gabe said before riding off on a rainbow or some gay shit.

Dean looked at the bagel on the counter. “God damn Sammy and his whole wheat.”

Dean walked away and RUSSIAN ALIENS ATTACKED and Cas lived the rest of his life as a bagel. The end.

I’m cas in the background


“I want you to cream my hole” Cas said to the RUSSIAN BREAD (is that a thing) next to him. Dean walked in.

“Holy shit did that bagel just talk ???”

“Yes because I am not a bagel I am a Castiel” the bagel said.

“???” Replied Dean.

“I can prove it!”


“You enjoy wearing panti-”

“CAS!” Dean cut him off. “What happened?”

“Does it matter? I’m a fucking bagel. Who cares what happened just fix this.”

“Alright but let me try something that I haven’t done since I was a horny teenager.” And then he f uxked the bagel