bag with heads

2

Self love is something I have struggled with for a long time.
I constantly want to wear a bag over my head, because I feel like I don’t fit into society.
I know I’m pretty,
I strive on a daily basis to be something I’m not.
Wanting to hide from the crowd,
Because I feel “too big”.

Today I am wearing short sleeves,
Allowing my arms to hangout.
Today I’m smiling a little more,
Allowing my double chin to appear.

Today I’m taking life into my own hands.
Today I’m loving myself.

Tagged by @ashesofthepaleserpent! Thank you dude :D

1. morning rituals:
 Get cereal and a cup of tea, then play some mobile games (mostly Crash Fever), get dressed, make sure everything’s in my bag then head out to uni (or if I’m not in, it’s usually oversleep, skip breakfast and get lunch instead, then chill and watch some youtube before getting to my coursework).

2. biggest fear: Death, followed closely by the sea and everything in it.

3. cloudy or sunny: I enjoy it being bright but I get too warm very easily, so cloudy

4. a band you didn’t like at first but grew on you: Carach Angren, TesseracT.

5. song stuck in your head: “Sincerity Nature: Drastic Measures of Ignorance” by Suzumu w/Kagamine Rin and Len (which is odd cause I don’t really listen to vocaloid anymore these days)

6. unrealistic dream: I dunno, my dreams/ambitions aren’t usually all that unrealistic. I suppose, once I wanted one of my stories to be made into an animated series-type thing. I’ll probably never get the time or skill to make that a reality.

7. dream superpower: If I had some kind of superpower that allowed me to heal other people I’d be pretty happy.

8. any regrets?: Nope

9. superstitious?: Not at all.

10. something that makes you feel alive: Live music. And being out drunk with good friends and deciding to carry on into the wee hours of the morning because I’m having a good time and why the fuck not. Sounds kinda bad I suppose but I do it very rarely. I’m not usually that chilled and carefree and I look back fondly on those moments.

I should probably also note that I don’t drink too much (I’d really rather not puke or pass out), and I don’t get hangovers so that’s probably why I don’t regret these times.

11. favourite genre of film: I actually don’t think I have a favourite genre. Fantasy and action have to be up there, though.

12. favourite movie: John Wick (1 or 2 though?? Damn)

13. favourite season: Either autumn or winter, tough call

14. favourite colour: Probably black

15. favourite foods: Sweet potato fries, holy fuck. Also I have a real sweet tooth and will probably lose my mind over anything with marzipan/almonds in.

16. worst habit: when I’m stressed I scratch/pick at my shoulders and back, but now I’m covered in marks and I can’t comfortably wear strappy tops because of it. I’ve been trying to leave it alone and let myself heal.

17. how many countries have you been to?: Literally just France (disneyland specifically). I need to travel more but I don’t have the money to go anywhere right now. (and my parents don’t really do much travelling either).

I’ll be tagging: @bromhamsam, @the-night-mother, @thebeaniestmeever, @hobbitsmind and @rammchickk :3

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.