bag with heads

Cats man...

Nall managed to get bag (paper) over his head and freaked the fuck out because he couldn’t shake it off and ran as fast as he could throughout the house. It was funny, but the poor guy was scared. 

1-800-273-8255

Inspired by 1-800-273-8255 by Logic
TW: Homophobia and slurs, suicidal actions, etc etc.

I been on the low
I been taking my time

Lance walked slowly and carefully on his way home from school, clutching the straps of his school bag and eyes downcast and head bowed.

He had something big he planned for tonight and it was itching at him since second block this morning.

Lance was going to come out to his parents as bisexual. But he wasn’t sure how they would react.

I feel like I’m out of my mind
It feel like my life ain’t mine
Who can relate?

He felt the anxiousness of not knowing if he’d be accepted, or if they would assume something was wrong with him.

Liking girls? That’s fine, normal.
But liking boys?

Lance might as well have been an alien from a planet made of shit the way some people reacted to it.

He wanted to come out to them before Christmas. That was his plan.

This Thanksgiving had left him in awkward conversations about dating and marrying girls, when Lance wasn’t sure if his future held a man or a woman by his side.

I been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I’m out of my mind
It feel like my life ain’t mine

No one can be sure when they come out to a parent, as anything— gay, bi, trans— how they will react.

No matter how much you know they love you and care for you, somehow this is the huge obstacle that feels impossible to leap.

The mountain impossible to climb.

And then there are the parents where you feel trapped because you know they aren’t accepting of it but you know this is best for you and you just have to let them know.

Other times, you’d get sick to your stomach at the thought of being outed to your parents and say you’d rather die if that ever happened.

That happened to Lance, once.

I don’t wanna be alive
I don’t wanna be alive
I just wanna die today
I just wanna die
I don’t wanna be alive
I don’t wanna be alive
I just wanna die
And let me tell you why

When Lance went over to the guys house, he’d just gone over to study.

Swear to it.
But the study buddy may or may not have also been his crush, and Lance was a natural flirt.

The other guy caught on, was disgusted that Lance would try to come on to him when the guy was straight.

They had been best friends.
But the ‘friend’ changed that soon.

He spread it all over the school the next day about Lance the Cock Sucking Faggot.

Lance had dicks all over his locker in a matter of days and he couldn’t look at anyone without them shoving their tongues in their cheek and imitating inappropriate acts.

(Sucking dick.)

He felt completely alone and no one was there for him here, the little friends he had too busy with their own schooling or home life to be able to offer much more than just a word of reassurance every so often.

All this other shit I’m talkin’ 'bout they think they know it
I’ve been praying for somebody to save me, no one’s heroic

Lance started coming home and locking himself in his room, listening to music, scratching whatever bullshit he could on homework, and sleeping away whatever emotions he had. And let me tell you those emotions came hard.

And thoughts came with them.

He thought about how he’d rather drown in the ocean than go to school to another taunt.

Lance would rather bleed out than have to speak out for himself and what people said to him to his face and behind his back.

He’d rather jump than stand his ground, because with the bullying he only thought lesser and lesser of his life and of himself.

And my life don’t even matter
I know it I know it I know I’m hurting deep down but can’t show it
I never had a place to call my own
I never had a home

Dinner time would come around and Lance had to fake smile to get through the darkness that threatened to seep out and be seen by his parents.

But it never lasted because he would still get snappy with his mother and disobey his father.

One day they took his phone, a form of grounding on him for the attitude that had developed in their sunshine boy.

Lance didn’t know they’d look through it and find the dozens of male models he followed on Instagram, or the gay tags he’d follow on Tumblr.

A persons worse nightmare happening in the matter of two days. He was out.
But not by his own accord.

He remembered his father yelling at him, asking him if he liked cock in his ass or if he was kissing boys.

He heard his mother crying as she claimed her dreams of a daughter in law to her baby boy was ruined.

Lance tried to tell them he liked both girls, and boys, but they could only go by what they saw.

They didn’t see the female cosplayers and actors he loved to talk about, or the cute girls from school.

He didn’t mention the cute boys.

They wouldn’t have it. They threw a suitcase at Lance and told him to get out of their home until he straightened out.

Literally.

Ain’t nobody callin’ my phone
Where you been? Where you at? What’s on your mind?
They say every life precious but nobody care about mine

Lance was forced to stay at his current friends home, and Lance was terrified to refer to him anything else in fear of worse happening.

They kissed. They laughed.

Lance was able to momentarily forget his troubles while he was there and it felt good, the best he’d been in a long time.

But all good things come to an end because school still exists and when there is school there are the taunts and the bullies.

And there was still nothing from his friends, not an offered helping hand or maybe condolence by the harsh words spoken to him. Or the things put in his locker or messaged to him or wrote on his papers or or or or—

I been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I’m out of my mind
It feel like my life ain’t mine
Who can relate?

It came to the point where one day Lance couldn’t take and he ran to hide in the bathrooms after his second class.

He stayed in there all day until the bells rang for school to be let out and then even after that he stayed.

Lance was there until dark.

He opened his backpack and found the gun he had stolen out of his boyfriends dad’s safe. He would lose all trust.

But what does trust matter when you’ve blown a bullet through your skull and you’re already halfway to six feet under ground?

I been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I’m out of my mind
It feel like my life ain’t mine

And Lance got up and stuck that gun to the side of his skull with tears streaming down his face and an aching in his chest from all he had been through.

All he wanted was support.
All he wanted was love.

Lance wanted his mother and father to love him again and not feel like every time they looked at him they were looking at a monster.

He didn’t want to be a monster anymore. Not anymore.

But he had to think about the one who was there for him. The one that still loved him even when Lance had him outed as well and was banned from the home after that.

Before he’d taken the gun.

Lance dropped it from his head and threw it to the floor where it clanged and made him flinch as he fell to his knees and sobbed.

Someone did love him.
He could see that now, finally.

I want you to be alive
I want you to be alive
You don’t gotta die today
You don’t gotta die
I want you to be alive
I want you to be alive
You don’t gotta die
Now lemme tell you why

He was loved.
He was loved.

No matter what horrible thought went through his head Lances boyfriend was the knight in blazon and bruised armor that was there to save him from the thoughts that ricocheted through his mind.

His boyfriend was the one that held him through nightmares and kept him from hurting himself.

The one who told him he loved him and that if he thought he didn’t matter to anyone to at least know he mattered to him.

Lance was loved.

And even if it was just one person, at least it wasn’t no one and he could safely reassure himself that that person loved him more than anyone.

It’s the very first breath
When your head’s been drowning underwater

He could breathe, his tears not falling so fast as he came to realize he mattered to someone. And who was he to take himself away from someone who loved him?

And it’s the lightness in the air
When you’re there
Chest to chest with the lover

The two could overcome those who didn’t accept them and show somebody that being gay or bisexual wasn’t something that was wrong.

It was something strong.

How could you say someone who is homosexual or bisexual or pansexual or anything of the sort is not strong?

They deal with the assholes that beat them down and make them feel like shit and make life a living hell to go through. They get through it.

And there’s those of them still kicking and fighting and surviving. How the hell would you not call that’s strong.

You can’t tell me that’s not strong.

It’s holding on, though the road’s long
And seeing light in the darkest things

When Lance was able to overcome the fact that not everyone supports you, even the ones that are supposed to, his mood change and he rose a middle finger to hate and a ring finger to the man he wanted to marry.

As long as you can support yourself and accept who you are and love yourself, despite when everyone else tells you you shouldn’t and that you are disgusting and wrong.

Lance could love himself just a little more through someone else’s love, and even if that love didn’t last he still knew that it’s out there somewhere in someone.

And when you stare at your reflection
Finally knowing who it is
I know that you’ll thank God you did

Lance was absolutely in love with his new husband, and he wouldn’t let anyone else get in the way of that.

Not get in the way of who he is.
even if he were with a girl, if it weren’t a man in his arms, that wouldn’t make him less of the guy he was.

He was bisexual and kids at school did not define him.
He was bisexual and his parents did not define him.
He was bisexual and no one ever would ever define him except for himself.

I know where you been, where you are, where you goin’
I know you’re the reason I believe in life
What’s the day without a little night?
I’m just tryna shed a little light
It can be hard
It can be so hard
But you gotta live right now
You got everything to give right now

Once you let someone into your life that is there for you and loves you, even in the smallest of ways, it’s a game changer.

It can be a dog.
Any pet in general.

Lance had a pet hamster when he was three but when the animal went missing and they had “ham stew” one night for dinner, he was pretty scarred.

It can be a teacher.
A relative.
A parent.
A best friend.
A sibling.

It could be some random guy at the coffee shop that actually takes the time to ask you how to spell your name.

For Lance, it was the lover that stayed with him through the thick and stayed by him in the thin.

That’s all he’d ever wanted.

I been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I’m out of my mind
It feel like my life ain’t mine
Who can relate?
I been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I’m out of my mind
It feel like my life ain’t mine

As you take this brighter outlook, get through the bullshit everyone tells you is there, you’ll find more love.

It won’t be an easy fight, you’re going to have to make one helluva leap and claw your way through so keep those nails sharp, sister.

(Except the middle and index, you have to show your lover you love them.)

When you feel like giving up, do whatever it takes to cool down and start again. Fight your way back up even if you have to cry a little on the way there.

Crying is normal.

Believe in yourself because on the other side of that shit is someone covered in just as much shit as you but you two are going to be perfect for each other, and they will believe in you.

It might be a cloudy day on the other side but smile and that sun will come out.

Lance learned that, looking down at his baby girl.  The new life that was allowed into the world because he had kept his, and he and his husband couldn’t be happier.

I finally wanna be alive (Finally wanna be alive)
I finally wanna be alive
I don’t wanna die today
I don’t wanna die
Finally wanna be alive (Finally wanna be alive)
I finally wanna be alive
I don’t wanna die
I don’t wanna die
(No, I don’t wanna die)
(I just wanna live)
(I just wanna live)

Unfortunately for some of those in the world, they didn’t get as far as Lance.

They aren’t at this part in the story because awhile ago something suffocated them and their sunshines are gone.

Because maybe their eyes were covered by evil hands and no one was brave enough to pry them away.

Lance became a Lesbian/Gay rights activist, alongside his husband. He had a home and nice clothes and food to eat.

A family around him.
His mother, his father.

His mother in law, and father in law.

You see, if you make it this far all of those people that used to bring you down or beat you in, they’ll all come running back.

Sometimes.

Lance got his parents back and he forgave them for all they had done, and he let them play with his daughter and he accepted their hugs.

He did this because if he had pushed them from his life he would not have been any better than they were all those years ago.

Things were hard. But they got better.

Lance was happy. He did it. It was tiresome and it wasn’t easy but he did it. And everyone knows that nothing comes easy.

Be stubborn, like Lance, and don’t let life fuck you over before you can fuck it over first.

Pain don’t hurt the same, I know
The lane I travel feels alone
But I’m moving 'til my legs give out
And I see my tears melt in the snow
But I don’t wanna cry
I don’t wanna cry anymore
I wanna feel alive
I don’t even wanna die anymore
Oh I don’t wanna
I don’t wanna
I don’t even wanna die anymore

I was just thinking about how hilarious it must be to the YOI in-universe figure skating pro community and fan community that for all intents and purposes, as far as they can tell, Victor Nikiforov took most of the skating season off to make Yuri Katsuki fall in love with him, and as soon as he locked that shit down and showed up in public continuously lens-flaring his engagement ring, he went back to competitive skating.

“What’s your theme for the rest of this truncated season, Victor?” the press asks.

“My theme is I’M HITTING THAT, FREQUENTLY AND FOREVER,” Victor says, lens-flaring his beautiful ring in the direction of a wide eyed, frozen Yuri Katsuki.

ineptshieldmaid  asked:

Sam I have an important Chicago question: just north of the DuSable bridge there is a statue of what looks like Abe Lincoln excitedly taking a man in a knitted sweater on a first date. I only saw it from a bus, so didn't get either a photo or an explanation. Can you explain this phenomenon? Are Abe and Sweater Man happy???

*head in hands* FUCKING SEWARD JOHNSON

You have triggered the rage within me, so now you will ALL be treated to an outside-the-readmore screed about SEWARD GODDAMN JOHNSON. 

I don’t normally attack artists because a) it scares my friends who are artists (I love you all, you are beautiful, don’t be afraid) and b) honestly most artists don’t deserve the level of vitriol I’m about to employ. I want you all to remember that the seething hatred I feel for Seward Johnson is driven in large part by class consciousness. 

But not entirely. So let’s begin. 

First what you have to know is that Seward Johnson is a “sculptor”. If you google “seward johnson sculpture” you’ll get an idea of his work, most of which is terrible. I feel okay calling his work terrible because he is also the scion of the family that founded SC Johnson Johnson & Johnson (my bad), so he has all the money he needs and could step back, do his art for funsies, and let people with actual talent or two original thoughts in their heads exhibit their art, but he doesn’t, he forces his terrible art on all of us. 

The reason I harbor such animosity towards Seward Johnson is that he has been exhibiting on Pioneer Plaza (that area north of the DuSable Bridge) for almost a decade now, and when I worked in the north loop I had to walk past his art every day. It was bad enough when the sculpture was American Gothic, rendered without talent or meaning into three dimensions and provided with luggage. 

How very fucking dare you, you talentless hack

These things are sculpted out of what amounts basically to styrofoam painted in rubberized/weatherized paint, so they are fragile, and tourists were constantly climbing on Farmer’s shoes and falling into them when they found out it wasn’t the cheap but supple fiberglass you would expect of a tacky monstrosity more suited to a roadside motel than the business district of a major metropolitan city. (I would imagine this is why Abraham Lincoln And The Mayonnaise Sandwich has a little fence around it.) 

But American Gothic Motel Attraction was mostly just annoying because it was meaningless, derivative, and CONSTANTLY covered in gawkers getting in everyone’s way. 

Additionally, Seward Johnson’s sculptures on the Plaza are very popular photo spots for tourists, who carry lots of cash and are constantly distracted, which means beginning with The Assault On American Gothic it became a very popular spot for pickpockets. Which means members of our staff, who had nothing to do with this mess, got pickpocketed as collateral damage about once a week during the exhibition of…. 

Forever Marilyn.

SEWARD JOHNSON GO FUCK YOURSELF

This is a very famous image of Marilyn Monroe which is horrifying for the following reasons that Seward Johnson appears not to have understood nor cared about:

a) The day this was shot, on an open set with people leering at her all day, her husband, professional athlete and dirtbag Joe DiMaggio, found out about the filming. Rather than comfort his wife, who had been through some shit already that day, he became angry she’d been showing her panties in public and beat her so badly the neighbors called the police on him. Joe DiMaggio also go fuck yourself. 

b) IT’S IN A MOVIE INFAMOUSLY SET IN NEW YORK. To quote a local newspaper, “Did Chicago lose a bet?”

c) Yes, you can look up and see her panties. While this is juvenile, it’s not nearly as juvenile as the literally thousand of photographs I angrily photobombed of some douchebro from Fuckville Middle America in a backwards baseball cap standing between her legs with his face tilted upwards and his tongue out. 

Oh and btw before it was unveiled it looked like this: 

For literal days, before it was installed, she had a bag over her head. (For more on this, though the pictures are now missing, you can read my reaction post here.)

In any just world, there would be a trap door between her legs and everyone who tried to do the upskirt shot would fall into a pit where they would be forced to give five dollars to women’s shelters before they were allowed to leave. THAT would have been interesting art. 

Sidebar, both as contrast and because I love it: Marilyn left a few years ago and was briefly replaced by a refreshing and beautiful piece called The Watch, by Hebru Brantley. The Watch was playful and interesting and didn’t have a single upskirt. Hebru Brantley is a wonderful artist in his own right, but he was also a welcome breath of fresh air after Johnson’s mediocre tribute to sexual assault. 

The Watch was a temporary installation, however, and eventually along came Abraham Lincoln Approves Of White Men

It is an unfortunate coincidence that Confused Closeted Republican there is wearing khakis and a white shirt, the new uniform of the alt right, and it’s also coincidence that this is facing Trump Tower, but it’s not exactly helping Seward Johnson’s cause that he chose the blandest outfit possible for Paean To Confused White Bread. The sculpture is meant to be Lincoln, the darling of Illinois, welcoming a visitor to our fair city, but it sure does look like fresh meat is about to get a free trip to Boys Town with the Sixteenth President of the United States. 

This is what I mean when I say Seward Johnson lacks not only skill but also understanding: he clearly didn’t know that Lincoln’s sexuality is under enough debate to have its own wikipedia page, and he either didn’t know or didn’t care that Marilyn Monroe was nearly killed by her husband for shooting that scene. All he cares about is image and he’s bad at reproducing image. That is not a well-executed rendering of how human beings are, and dynamically speaking it’s boring. If he were good at visuals or if he had something meaningful to say I would be less angry, but he is mediocre at best and the statements his sculptures make are banal pap if they make any at all. 

But he is rich, and I guess either he likes Chicago or he’s got blackmail on Sam Zell, owner of Pioneer Plaza, so he gets to spatter his hideous, meaningless masturbation in my city. And lest you think Seward Johnson got here on his own merits, Forever Marilyn, now on tour from coast to coast, is owned by The Sculpture Foundation, which is heavily subsidized by Seward Johnson. He basically founded a nonprofit to ensure his work gets toured around and publicized and to ensure that if no museum wants it, it has a place to go to die (Palm Springs, CA). 

In short, I hope Abe and Sweater Man are happy, because at least then something good has come out of Seward Johnson’s astounding mediocrity. That said, if you are passing his latest work, spit on it for me. As performance art.

5

This is Ravus and Lunafreya.

They’re able to discuss their issues with each other.

(Previously on ‘This is Ravus’)
(Previously on ‘This Is…’)

10

Happy Father’s Day

“There’s something ancient and inevitable about this desire to do whatever you can to protect your child.”

3

Sheith Week Day 7: Free Day (College AU) “It’s just a little crush.” Keith, please. Let’s not kid ourselves here, buddy. Then after a year or two, you see them holding hands for the very first time. Shiro almost died. ;)

Fanfic written by @eruriholic here “captivated” !! Redbubble Shop