badbee149  asked:

I thought your writing was insanely captivating. And I wondered why in the world you weren't published yet. Then I came to tumblr and saw what you looked like and I was like: "Oh my God, SHE'S HOT!! But not they type of hot where I want to objectify her all the time. She's the type of where I wanna take her on a date and buy her pretty things, and sing songs to her and once she was comfortable enough to; do naughty things with her. Then we'd get old and die together. Yeah, that kind of 'hot'."

oh wow, this message is insanely flattering, I… I don’t even know what to say. OTL but wait a minute, did you just kind of ask me out? xD

anyway… I love you ok!


Respects to the queen. Sorry about the low volume =)


Dont laugh… just smile… and say what you’re thinking…

I must be straight up nuts to do this 

I was thinkin’ to play it coy but um, 

Screw this 

I mean screw that  

Sans lube with a baseball bat 

‘Cause I know once I get it out 

I can’t take it back. 

But Ma it is a fact  

That this is how I’m feelin' 

So I’m doing my very best 

To try to say what’s real n' 

What is really real  

Is what you do to me 

Like I was dormant 

And you just 

Set fire to me  

Somebody I used to know
  • Mom's Friend: Hey, how you doing? Haven't seen you around lately.
  • Me: There's a reason.
  • Mom's Friend: Really? How come, then?
  • Me: Because the last time I was over at your house, you told my mom I was a lesbian.
  • Mom's Friend: Oh... yeah... about that; I'm sorry.
  • Me: It's cool, I am a lesbian.
  • Mom's Friend: Really? Wow. I didn't see that coming...
  • Me: .....
  • Mom's Friend: But you know that doesn't matter to us, so you should really come around. The kids really miss you.
  • Me: I miss them too, but I'm not coming back.
  • Mom's Friend: Why not? I already said it wasn't a big d--
  • Me: BECAUSE! The last time I was over at your house, you told my mom I was a lesbian.
  • Mom's Friend: ... Well... aren't you?
  • Me: Yep
  • Mom's Friend: So what's the big deal?
  • Me: Your son is a statutory rapist, a gigolo, and the biological father of 5 of his old high-school classmates' children.
  • Mom's Friend: ....
  • Mom's Friend: Anthony is 19! He's a man. What he does in his personal life is his business.
  • Me: So? I'm 21 years old and you just straight up TOLD on me, even though I'm pretty sure the same rules apply.
  • Mom's Friend: .................................................................
  • Me: Cool. SO .... when should I start whispering the things his does in his life to his little sisters and grandparents?
  • Mom's Friend: You know, if you continue like this, you're sure to end up in hell.
  • Me: Yep. Just me, Anthony, and the devil, shooting the shit. ~walking off~
  • Mom's Friend: Evil dyke whore!
  • Me: *shouts back over shoulder* THAT YOUR SON IS STILL TRYNA FUCK!