badasses

Though talented, Margaret Keane was extremely withdrawn and shy – far from the kind of salesperson you need to be for a career as a successful artist. She was also in the habit of signing her paintings with just her last name. Her husband, an art dealer and championship-level dickbag, immediately realized the opportunity this presented. He started taking his wife’s paintings and selling them as his own, earning millions in the process. Oh, and if you dispute his professional bag o’ wangs status, there’s also the minor fact that he would lock Margaret in a room for up to 16 hours a day in order to mass produce his masterpieces. Meanwhile, Walter cavorted about in their huge house with his assorted hangers-on and generally enjoyed the whole “popular artist in the swinging 1960s” bit to the maximum.

In 1965, after 10 years of unhappy marriage and rampant career abuse, Margaret finally got a divorce. Although Walter initially managed to convince her to continue their painting arrangement, she soon had enough, and cut off Walter’s supply of malnourished children drawings. In 1970, she finally told the world that she had been behind the paintings all along, and challenged Walter to a public paint-off to prove her claims. Walter never took up the challenge, and the dispute over the paintings raged on. Margaret finally took the case to the court, where it came out that Walter had, among other things, threatened to kill her and her child. Maybe those Keane Kids looked like that because they were god damn terrified.

5 Great Women Ignored By History For Absurdly Sexist Reasons

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Badass Michonne s4 deleted scene.
Talk shit, get hit!
With or without sword badass always😏

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The Most Badass Man in History — Lt. General Adrian Carton de Wiart

Born/Died: May 5th, 1880 - June 5th 1963

Military Service: British Army, 1899–1923, 1939–1947

Awards: Victoria Cross, Knight Commander of the Order of the British Empire, Companion of the Order of Bath, Companion of the Order of St. Michael and St. George, Distinguished Service Order, Legion of Honour (France), Vituti Militari (Poland), Cross of Valor (Poland), Croix de Guerre (Belgium), Officer of the Order of the Crown (Belgium).

Wars/Conflicts: 2nd Boer War, Anglo Somali War, World War I (Western Front), Polish Soviet War, World War II (Europe and Pacific).

Wounded: 11 times, including face, groin, head, stomach, lungs, ankle, leg, hip, and ear.

Body Parts Lost: Left eye, left hand, part of left ear.

Plane Crashes Survived: 2

Prison Escapes: 7

Favorite Pastime: Hunting wild boars with a spear.

Friends With: Winston Churchill, Charles de Gaulle, Carl Gustav Mannerheim, Prince Karol Mikołaj Radziwiłł, Marshal Pilsudski, Pope Pius XI, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Gen. Douglas MacArthur, Chiang Kai Shek, and Clement Attlee.

Married to: Countess Friederike Maria Karoline Henriette Rosa Sabina Franziska Fugger von Babenhausen, Ruth Myrtle Muriel Joan McKechnie

Notable Quotes: “Governments may think and say as they like, but force cannot be eliminated, and it is the only real and unanswerable power. We are told that the pen is mightier than the sword, but I know which of these weapons I would choose.”

Notable Instances of Badassery

- Shot in the groin and stomach during the Boer Wars, recovered and returned to combat.

-While fighting against Mohammed “The Mad Mullah” bin Abdullah in Somalia he was shot in the face twice, losing an eye.  Continued fighting.

-World War I — Took command of three infantry battalions and a brigade when his superiors were killed.  Led from the front at all times.

-Bit off his own mangled fingers when a surgeon refused to amputate them.

-Shot through the skull and ankle at the Battle of the Somme, through the hip at the Battle of Passchendaele, through the leg at Cambrai, and through the ear at Arras.

-Thoughts on World War I: “Frankly, I enjoyed the war.”

-Supplied weapons to the Polish during the Polish Soviet War.

-Fought in a gunfight against a band of angry Cossacks.

-Seconded in a duel with Baron Carl Gustaf Emil Mannerheim, later commander-in-chief of Finnish armies in World War II and President of Finland.

-World War II — House in Poland was bombed (with him in it) when the Germans invaded in 1939.  Escaped in a car to Romania as the German Air Force attempted to strafe and bomb him.

-Led British Ski Commandos in Norway.

-Survived airplane crash in the Mediterranean.  Swam 1 mile in freezing water to shore. Was captured by the enemy.

-The enemy considered him too “disabled” to live in a POW camp.  He was offered the chance to return home if he resigned from the British Army.  He refused and instead escaped from a POW camp after digging a tunnel for 7 months.

-In the last years of the war and after he served as a British ambassador in China.  Enjoyed watching Allied and Japanese fighters dogfighting from the bridge of the HMS Queen Elizabeth.

-Interrupted a propaganda speech by Mao Tse Tung to tell him he was a lunatic.

-In his old age he fell and injured his back.  During the resulting back surgery doctors removed “an incredible amount of shrapnel”.

Standing a burly six-foot-seven, Peter Freuchen looked like a lumberjack fucked a grizzly bear and she gave birth to the physical manifestation of an ass-kicking.

In 1906, at the ripe young age of 20, Freuchen dropped out of medical school and set off to explore Greenland by dog sled. That’s where he met his first wife, an Inuit woman named Navarana Mequpaluk, who bore him a daughter named Pipaluk Jette Tukuminguaq Kasaluk Palika Hager and a son named Mequsaq Avataq Igimaqssusuktoranguapaluk – because even the alphabet rightly feared Peter Freuchen.

On another of what came to be known as the Thule Expeditions, Freuchen found himself buried alive after waiting out a blizzard. With probably the grossest MacGyverism ever, Freuchen took a dump into his hand, shaped his deuce into a chisel, waited for it to freeze rock-solid, and then chipped his way to freedom. Unfortunately, shit-chiseling is grueling work, and by the time he crawled back into camp hours later, his left foot was hopelessly frostbitten. That’s when he – without any anesthetic whatsoever – performed a self-amputation on his gangrenous foot, hopefully not with his shit-chisel.

The 5 Most Immortal Humans To Ever Walk The Earth

Fight Like a Girl

Anhotep I, Ancient Egyptian Warrior Princess, Hyksos War, “cleansed Egypt of the Hyksos”.

Queen Boudicca, led the Iceni Rebellion against Rome, 1st century.

Relief of two Roman gladiatrices found at Halicarnassus, Roman Empire

Hua Mulan, Tang Dynasty China, disguised herself as a man to fight in her father’s stead.  Inspired the Disney movie “Mulan”.

The Trung Sisters, 1st Century Vietnam, rebelled against the Chinese Empire.

Joan of Arc, the Hundred Years War. Led the French to victory against the English.

Tomoe Gozen, 12th-13th century Samurai.  The woodblock print below depicts her beheading the Samurai Moroshige of Musashi at the Battle of Awazu.

Matilda of Tuscany, Middle Ages, Investiture Conflict, personal bodyguard of the Pope.

The Isabella de Carazzi and Diambra de Pettinella Duel, circa 1552.

Julie d'Aubigny, 17th century swordsmen and opera singer. Considered one of the greatest duelists in history.

Mary Read and Anne Bonney, 17th/18th century pirates.

Elizabeth “Lady Bare Knuckles Stokes, popular bareknuckle boxer in Britain, early 18th century. Fought both men and women, was also noted for her skill with the broadsword and cudgel.

Hannah Snell, Royal Marine, Seven Years War, disguised herself as a man.

Deborah Sampson, American Revolution, disguised herself as a man. Removed a musket ball from her thigh with a knife.

The “Petticoat Duel” between Almeria Braddock and Mrs. Elphinstone, circa 1792.

Nadezhda Andreyevna Durova,  most heavily decorated soldier in the Russian Cavalry during the Napoleonic Wars.

Pine Leaf, Crow Nation War Chief, 19th century

Harriet Tubman, American Civil War, spy, army scout, and co-commander of Union forces during the Combahee River Raid.

Loretta Valsaquez, American Civil War, Confederacy. Disguised herself as a man.

Frances Lousia Clayton, disguised herself as a man to fight with her husband, Union Army, American Civil War.

Cathay Williams, 38th Infantry (Buffalo Soldiers) during the late 19th century. Disguised herself as a man.

“Stagecoach” Mary Fields, Old West icon, once shot a man in the bum in a gunfight after he called her a nigger.

The Dahomey Amazon’s, West Africa 19th century.  The most feared warriors of the Kingdom of Dahomey.  Their favorite pastime was to decapitate their captured enemies.

Princess Pauline Metternich and Countess Kielmannsegg Duel of 1892

One of many “Soldateras” during the Mexican Revolution

Captain Flora Sandes, World War I, English woman who fought in the Serbian Army.  Won the Serbia’s highest honor (the Order of the Karađorđe’s Star) after leading her company on a successful assault despite being wounded by a grenade and in a bout of hand to hand combat.

Edith Gerrud, the Jiu Jitsu Suffragist

Spanish Civil War.

Lydia Litvyak, Soviet Air Force, World War II: First female fighter ace, first kill scored by a woman, highest scoring female fighter pilot with 16 kills. Heroine of the Soviet Union.

Nancy Wake, World War II, commanded a 7,000 man resistance group in France. Was tortured by the Gestapo for 4 days and never talked.  On the flip side she was known for interrogating enemy spies and getting them to talk, then executing them.

The 46th Taman Guards Night Bomber Group, a Soviet all female bomber group during World War II.  Nicknamed “The Night Witches” by the Germans because of their stealthy bombing tactics.

Partisan Fighter, World War II

Lyudmilla Pavlichenko, Soviet Sniper during World War II, deadliest female sniper with 309 kills. Heroine of the Soviet Union.

Mariya Oktyabrskaya, Soviet tank driver during World War II, Heroine of the Soviet Union.

Capt. Kim Campbell, US Air Force, A10 Warthog pilot during the Iraq War, the pictures speak for themselves.

Rukhsana Kausar, defended her family from a band of terrorists with an axe and a captured assault rifle.

Pop culture has taught us that “newsies” were charming fellows who happily yelled out headlines from street corners and burst into song and dance at the drop of a hat. It turns out that they were less like young Christian Bale’s character in Newsies and more like adult Christian Bale’s character in, well, everything else.

The reality is that children selling newspapers at the turn of the 20th century were tough little bastards – they had to be, since they were often homeless, and selling papers was the only way they made enough money to eat. Newsies paid the newspaper distributors out of their own pockets and then resold the papers to make a whopping 26 cents a day. Still, 26 cents’ worth of gruel and stale bread was way better than 0 cents’ worth of starvation, so when a newspaper boy found a profitable corner, he fought off his rivals to hold it (presumably the newspaper strings doubled as whips).

6 Old Photos of Kids Who Are Way Tougher Than Modern Adults

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The Battling Badassery of Flora Sandes,

Flora Sandes was not your average Edwardian Era British woman.  Born to an Irish family in Yorkshire, she had a spark of individuality and boldness that was atypical of young women of the times.  Morever was the lifestyle she led, as her favorite childhood hobbies were fencing, horesback riding, racecar driving, and shooting.

When World War I began in 1914 she volunteered for the war effort by becoming a nurse.  At the age of 38, she was placed on detached service with the Serbian Red Cross, aiding the Serbian Army in the fight against the attacking Austro-Hungarian Empire.  After one particularly bloody battle in which the Serbian Army was forced into a chaotic retreat, Sandes was separated from her unit.  Rather than return to nursing, Sandes did something unthinkable for an early 20th century British woman, she volunteered for service with a Serbian combat unit on the frontlines.

The Serbians during World War I are especially noted for being the toughest and most ruthless soldiers of the war.  After all Serbia was a small nation being invaded by a large empire.  Outgunned and outnumberd 10 to 1, the Serbians relied upon toughness and ruggedness in order to survive the Austro-Hungarian onslaught.  Flora was no exception; she could drink, cuss, and brawl with the best of them.  Gaining a reputation as a fierce combat soldier, she was particularly noted for being an excellent shot with a revolver and a deadly master of bayonet fighting. She was also assigned to an elite unit called the “Iron Regiment”, one can probably assume that you have to be one hell of a badass to join a combat unit called the “Iron Regiment”. As the war progressed, she advanced in rank from private, to corporal, sergeant, then finally to sergeant-major, the highest non-commissioned rank in the army. When she wasn’t busy fighting in the trenches, she wrote letters back home to British newspapers detailing the plight of Serbia, asking for aid from the British people. In one instance, she was able to raise enough money to replace her regiment’s tattered uniforms with new clothing and buy new weapons.

In 1916 at the Battle of Bittola, after a particularly bloody bought of hand to hand combat, Sandes was severely wounded by a grenade blast.  The wound was bad enough that she was unable to resume combat service, in fact she barely survived the year long recovery period from her grievous wounds.  For her actions at Bittola Sandes was awarded the Order of the Karađorđe’s Star, the highest Serbian award for courage and gallantry. 

After recovering from her wounds, Sandes spent the rest of the war running her own hospital and raising money for the Serbian cause.  After the war ended in 1918, she was well enough that she resumed her military career.  To her surprise, she was given an officers commission with the rank of captain and assigned command of the Iron Regiment.  Sandes retired in 1922 with the rank of major, married a Russian White Army general in 1927, published an autobiography, and traveled the world giving lectures on her wartime experiences.  When the Germans invaded Yugoslavia during World War II Sandes was recalled to military service, but the Germans overran the country before she could be mobilized.  She and her husband were briefly interned before being released on parole. She returned to England where she lived out the rest of her life, passing in 1956 at the age of 80.