badass-of-the-week

There are few things in the world more depressing than the knowledge that a 65 year-old Somali gynecologist has bigger balls than you could ever hope to achieve even if you gave yourself steroid collagen injections to the scrotum every night and set up an induction port that allowed you to inflate them with an air pump like a basketball or those high-top sneakers from the early 90s.

Meet Hawa Abdi. A woman who has never raised her fist in anger against another human being, but also one who could perform three C-sections on dirt-poor women, wash her hands, then go straight outside, stare down an army of gun-toting hardcore fanatical Somali militiamen, and with four words send them running for their lives on a light-speed rainbow of shame and self-loathing without even blinking. A woman once appropriately described once as “one part Mother Teresa, one part Rambo.”

Read the rest at Badass of the Week.

Somebody make a movie about this woman.

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Badass of the Week - Lyle Bouck

The battle had begun at 6am [on December 15th, 1944]. Now, ten hours later, almost completely out of ammo, with his .50 cal knocked out by a mortar and a couple men wounded, Bouck was hoping to make it one more hour so he could withdraw his men under the cover of darkness. 18 American recon and intel troopers had successfully held up an entire German Panzer Army for almost a full day, buying the Allies that much more time to organize a defense and counterattack to stop the Nazi advance.

The Paras launched their final attack at dusk. This time, however, instead of a head-on attack, they flanked through the forest, where they stepped on a bunch of tripwires attached to grenades and blew themselves up. The Americans heard the grenades go off and tried to adjust their positions, but their ammo was depleted and their positions were overrun by swarming Germans. Bouck and his men surrendered and were almost summarily executed by the pissed-off Krauts, but cooler heads prevailed and instead of being machine gunned they were taken prisoner. They hadn’t lost a single man.

The Americans had fought so hard the Germans weren’t convinced that these 18 guys were all that were in the woods, and even though the forest was clear the Germans refused to advance until the commanding officer of the 1st SS Panzer Division, Joachim Peiper, showed up at 1am that night and personally took a battalion of paratroopers into the forest to verify that it was empty. (via Badass - Lyle Bouck)

1LT Lyle Bouck turned 21 years old at midnight on December 17th. He was finally legal to drink in the States, but instead of partying at a titty bar he was walking two miles through knee-deep snow with a bullet in his calf while Nazis pointed guns at him.

Read the complete, true story of how 18 American soldiers–led by Bouck–held off 700 Germans during the Battle of the Bulge…

Badass Of The Week: Lyle Bouck

The best story from this time period, however, is this. While stationed on a base in Thessalonica, some French officer got word that she was fucking brutal with hand grenades. He laughed at the idea that a woman could be that badass, so he took a bottle out of a case of ultra-expensive 1880 Cognac, set it on a post 40 meters (131 feet) away, and dared her the rest of the case that she couldn’t hit it.

She drilled it on her first try. That night her unit blew through 19 bottles of the finest Cognac on Earth.

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- Badass of the Week article on Milunka Savic, most decorated woman war hero of all time.  

I think today is just gonna be reblog all the Warrior Ladies day.

He’s also a 6'5" tall world champion fencer, speaks six languages, does all of his own stunts, has participated in more on-screen sword fights than any actor in history, served for five years defending democracy from global fascism as a British Commando blowing the shit out of Nazi asses in World War II, and became the oldest person to ever record lead vocals on a heavy metal track when, at the age of 88, he wrote, performed on, and released a progressive symphonic power metal EP about the life of Charlemagne (because why the fuck not?).
—  Badass of the week about sir christopher lee

stephen colbert is so awesome, not only is his show amazing, but he stood up in front of the president and a load of high ranking politicians and basically mocked the fuck out of them.  i think everybody can agree that talking massive amounts of shit about powerful people right to their faces takes a radioactive set of adamantium-plated balls the likes of which few can ever hope to have an opportunity to display.

news.yahoo.com
Queen decorates Nepali for Afghanistan heroics

LONDON (AFP) – A Nepalese soldier in the British army has been given a top bravery award by Queen Elizabeth II for his heroics in Afghanistan, where he single-handedly saw off more than 30 Taliban fighters.

Corporal Dipprasad Pun, 31, said he thought he was going to die and so had nothing to lose in taking on the attackers who overran his checkpoint.

He was awarded the Conspicuous Gallantry Cross (CGC), which is given in recognition of acts of conspicuous gallantry during active operations against the enemy.

Pun fired more than 400 rounds, launched 17 grenades and detonated a mine to repel the Taliban assault on his checkpoint near Babaji in Helmand Province, southern Afghanistan, last September.

Thanks to the anon who sent me this link, this story is incredible!

vine

Your weekly #navalhistorybadass

The Honey Badger doesn’t give a crap – he comes across a puff adder that is eating a rat, and his first instinct is to run up, grab the rat out of the snake’s mouth, carry it a few feet away, and then eat the rat right in front of the snake just to show the adder that he’s a bitch. After eating the stolen meal, the Badger than decides, “Screw it, now I’m going to eat this damn snake too.” This really takes being an asshole to another level, which is something I can appreciate.

He also loves honey (which is where the Honey Badger gets his unfortunately-unbadass name) and bee larvae, but his method of getting to them is just as hardcore as he is – he just jams his face into a beehive, and starts eating the baby bees and honey while a bunch of crazy pissed-off bees stab him in the face with their stingers. He doesn’t register pain, fear, or any emotion other than anger, and doesn’t even seem to notice the hundreds of stab-wounds he’s getting all over his hide.

He’s a brutal, vicious killer who kicks asses, never backs down, never registers fear, destroys everything in its path and then adorably trots off into the sunset with his prey in his teeth and the severed nutsacks of his enemies still gripped between his dagger-like claws.

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Joseph Medicine Crow

“War Chief of the Crow Indians” isn’t a title that’s just randomly thrown around to any jackass who happens to own a gigantic, awesome-looking headdress and a really bitchin’ traditional-style wooden bow made out of the bark of dead Treants. You don’t become a War Chief just because you’re the oldest dude in the tribe, or the most badass hunter, or the only guy in your zip code capable of bench-pressing an automobile. It’s an ancient, prestigious honorific bestowed only upon the bravest, the strongest, and the most hardcore asskickers around, and the only way to attain this hallowed title is by proving yourself in combat and unlocking the four achievements the Crow believed to be the most insanely-difficult things a warrior can attempt in battle – leading a successful war party on a raid, capturing an enemy’s weapon, touching an enemy without killing him, and stealing an enemy’s horse. None of this shit is easy, and pretty much all of it requires you put your life on the line by voluntarily bringing yourself face-to-face with at least one warrior who is presumably in the process of actively trying to rip you limb from limb with a bowie knife and then splatter your corpse across the countryside with a well-placed headbutt. It’s like the Crow Indians’ way of making sure they don’t have any suckass weaklings leading their tribe into combat.

At 98 years old, Joseph Medicine Crow-High Bird is the last surviving War Chief of the Crow Indians. He is a hardcore, fearless, neck-snapping warrior who has accomplished all of these tremendous feats of bravery in combat and has proven himself a step above the majority of humanity on the badassitude scale.

And he did it in World War II.“

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