bad-teeth

when anne boleyn died she was mostly likely in her mid-thrities, and perhaps looked older given the years of stress she lived as queen, she may have had a few greys hair and fine lines on her face

when elizabeth i met her troops at tilbury she was 54 years old, she had bad teeth and thin hair

when eleanor of aquitaine became queen of england she was already 30 years old, when her son richard began king she was 67 and lived some of the most active and adventurous years of her life until her death at 80

when catherine of aragon arrived at her trial at blackfriars and begged henry on hers knees to reconsider and then walked out of court and refused to return she was 43 years old, she was plump and tired looking after years of miscarriages

when her daughter mary raised an army for her right to the throne and entered london she was 37 years old, she was very small and looked much older than her age because of the years of bad health she had endured

anyway women don’t have to be 25 and hot to be important and we should let these women be the ages they were when they did these things

Attention people who don’t have horses:

Sorry to break in with this on a very much Sherlock-only kind of blog- I promise not to make a regular thing of this, but this is something that’s happened TWICE now. 

This is Beyli. He’s a two-month old foal and he’s adorable. He belongs to a friend of the family. 

So adorable, in fact, that a member of the public spent a nice afternoon feeding him. You feed the ducks and that’s ok. right? It’s a nice thing to do. 

They fed him turnip. He choked and gave himself a stomachache as a result.

The problem is that horses can’t really burp and horses can’t vomit. Their digestive systems are fine-tuned and when they go wrong, they go really wrong. Colic in horses is difficult to treat and in Beyli’s case, like many others, proved to be insurmountable. With pain medicine not working, after 4 hours of doing their best with no improvement, the vet called time on his suffering rather than let him go on to a very slow and painful end. 

A horse needlessly suffered and died because someone fed him the wrong thing. They weren’t necessarily malicious, they were just hugely ignorant. And worse, they were hugely entitled. There were already signs asking people not to feed the animals. As I said, this has now happened TWICE to the same family, and they’re by no means alone. 

PLEASE Don’t feed horses that don’t belong to you. 

Horses can have disorders, diabetes, allergies and dietry requirements and you have NO IDEA if what you’re giving them is acceptable or not. Even ‘safe’ things like carrot and apple could be ‘wrong’ for this particular horse. Grass clippings? Not okay. Grain? Not okay for a horse that hasn’t been regularly eating it. 

Don’t assume. i have seen walkers pull up random plants and offer them over the fence INCLUDING TOXIC, DEADLY weeds like ragwort. I’ve seen horses offered dog-biscuits and bread. I’ve heard of horses being regularly fed by strangers thinking they were being under-fed, when the horse in question was on a vet-given diet to control weight and other conditions. 

Don’t feed horses that don’t belong to you even little treats and things like sugar cubes because it gives them bad manners. They start biting and harassing people. It’s bad for their teeth and too much sugar is terrible for them.

In some places if the owner has liability insurance, if you can be identified, YOU will be legally responsible for the vet’s bills. And if you’re thinking ‘well, they’d never identify me’, then that’s besides the point. 

Please. You wouldn’t feed someone’s dog without asking, I hope. You definitely wouldn’t feed someone else’s child. 

TL;DR: Don’t feed other people’s horses. You can make them SERIOUSLY ill. Treat animals in fields like animals at the zoo: you’re welcome to look, but don’t meddle with their care. 

PLEASE DON’T FEED OTHER PEOPLE’S HORSES. 

i feel like i have no idea what i look like. small bits of me are these terrible puzzle pieces i use to make a cubist painting of what i could be. sometimes in the mirror i see a girl worth loving, but in pictures i see: arms, legs, nose, body. one good picture out of two hundred and forty. i felt like i looked nice this morning. i see myself in plus/minus, good hair but bad skin, crooked teeth but nice eyes, fat arms chubby body good sense of humor at least if they get past the wide forehead and every other ugly piece. i don’t know. once in a while out of the corner of my eye i see myself and i’m startled because i look nothing like what i thought i did. but then the moment shifts and i become pieces again.

Fanon is better than canon.

Don’t get me wrong, I love JKR and love everything canon, however, Slytherin’s in the books are (rather terribly) always described as evil, ugly, stupid or all of the above with the exception of Draco Malfoy. Canonically, Millicent Bulstrode is described as ogre-like, Pansy on more than one occasion is described as a dog and she has no relevance to anything other than being a bitch. Crabbe and Goyle are described as stupid and negatively associated with being overweight (not that that is a bad thing in some situations). Marcus Flint, held back for being stupid, is a manipulative cheater with bad teeth. Blaise Zabini’s only character depth is that although he is attractive and presumably very smart, his mum is a whore so he must be evil.

People get mad when people assume Slytherin’s are bad… and that is all the fault of the author of the Harry Potter series herself, whether intentional or coincidental.

As a fandom who are still so active after so many years, we have built a beautiful fanon world where anything and anyone is up to our own personal, colourful interpretation.

Thanks to us, Pansy Parkinson may be a typical mean girl because she has insecurities about hiding her lesbian relationship or she may be a kickass feminist. Marcus Flint may have a crippling crush on Oliver Wood and he may be a muggle who was adopted by purebloods. Millicent Bulstrode is now no longer an ogre but a beautiful girl with a soft stomach and round face and contagious smile. Even Draco Malfoy has been developed by us, the readers, in such a way that we sometimes even cry at the things that he’s been through WHEN HE HASN’T EVEN CANONICALLY BEEN THROUGH THEM.

Imagine the common room full of cold, frowning, ugly people. Then imagine the common room full of these eclectic, cunning and determined characters. Imagine which common room you would rather be in.

That’s why I will always support any headcanon you throw my way, Slytherin, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, major character, minor character, real ship, fake ship, golden trio era, marauder era, next generation; anything, because fanon just makes things 100 times better.

8

I have spent my whole life scared, frightened of things that could happen, might happen, might not happen, 50 years I spent like that. Finding myself awake at three in the morning. But you know what? Ever since my diagnosis, I sleep just fine. What I came to realize is that fear, that’s the worst of it. That’s the real enemy. So, get up, get out in the real world and you kick that bastard as hard as you can right in the teeth.

it is absolutely, hilariously astonishing to me how often i’m asked to provide a 25 page extensively sourced MLA formatted academic style paper about why i think pansy parkinson is a character worth discussing, but…here we are, i guess.

first thing’s first—

fanon pansy =/= canon pansy.

canon pansy =/= fanon pansy.

canon pansy is a one-dimensional bully with no discernible personality traits beyond “mean” and “myopic”. she’s villainized by the story. her primary function within the narrative is to follow draco malfoy around. she’s background noise. she giggles, and she shrieks, and she makes fun of harry & co. pansy parkinson is also a figurative dumping ground for an alarming number of awful, misogynistic, enormously unflattering stereotypes for female characters—her relationship with draco is depicted as at least partially one-sided, which makes her seem desperate; she has a tendency to mock other students for their physical appearances, which makes her seem insecure; and she’s likened, more than once, to a literal dog. literally. a dog.  

(rowling had a truly terrible habit of peppering the hp books with a lot of these villainous non-characters, who were almost always slytherins, and who were almost always described as either unattractive, unintelligent, or both. see: millicent bulstrode, who is jokingly suspected of being related to a troll. marcus flint, who cheats at quidditch, is held back multiple school years, and has appallingly bad teeth. crabbe & goyle, who are violent, overweight, and implied to need draco’s help with her homework in order to avoid flunking out.)

canon pansy is a poorly constructed caricature of a Mean Girl who readers are meant to find abhorrent. all the ingredients for a spectacularly unlikeable character are there. it’s like rowling had a checklist.

that said, pansy’s role as hermione’s social foil gives her slightly more of a personality than the majority of the other slytherins. pansy is shown to be friendly with blaise zabini, who is, canonically, arrogant and enigmatic and disdainful of draco malfoy. pansy wears a pink dress to the yule ball. she likes unicorns. she possesses leadership qualities—she’s a prefect, she has a “gang” of slytherin girls—and is, by virtue of that, at the very least an above average student. she’s loyal to the people she’s shown to be close to. she cries when draco is hurt. her political affiliations, parentage, and blood status are categorically unknown. we can assume she’s probably a pureblood, and that she chose not to fight against the death eater regime at hogwarts, but she wasn’t a death eater. her dialogue with draco and blaise zabini about the war in HPB was ambiguously supportive, at worst.

(important note—one of the major themes in the books is redemption. see: severus snape. regulus black. the malfoys. rowling’s world building was full of lofty, often convoluted metaphors for racism and homophobia, which had the unfortunate side-effect of humanizing a lot of actively, violently racist characters who would have otherwise been unpalatable to any reasonably self-aware reader. the notion that grand gestures of bravery and self-sacrifice are necessary for redemption—again, see: severus snape, regulus black, the malfoys—is, however, repulsive to me, especially when the argument of worthiness is centered on a teenage girl who has, canonically, spent her formative years hanging around actively, violently racist people. And that’s not even delving into the numerous instances of benign racism perpetrated by characters who aren’t vile slytherin blood supremacists. see: the weasleys. albus dumbledore. rufus scrimgeour. the text goes out of its way to emphasize that combating internalized prejudices is an ongoing battle that has to be consciously fought. it’s a choice. but i digress.)

canon pansy =/= fanon pansy.

fanon pansy =/= canon pansy.

i see a lot of discourse about pansy being an inappropriate “feminist icon"—she’s a bully, she’s mean to other girls, et cetera, et cetera—and the irony of passing that kind of judgment on a female character whose entire narrative existence is predicated on her ability to compare unfavorably to, you know, all the good female characters; it is staggering.

so.

look.

i have loved characters like hermione granger and ginny weasley and fleur delacour since i was a child. they are smart and brave and interesting and Not Like Other Girls. their flaws are considered socially acceptable. hermione is bossy and narrow-minded; but she’s also usually right. ginny is outspoken and reactionary and obstinate; but she’s also pretty and popular and good at sportball. fleur is vain and self-absorbed; but she’s also beautiful and brilliant and fiercely loyal.  

Not. Like. Other. Girls.

not like pansy parkinson, for example, who is, almost unapologetically, exactly the kind of girl no one ever wants to be.  

she likes pink. she giggles. she cries. she chases after a boy who, at best, seems mostly indifferent to her presence. she’s self-conscious enough about her nose that it’s a well-known sore spot for other students to maliciously poke at. i don’t think we ever get a description of what her voice sounds like, but i instinctively associate her with a high-pitched, nasally whine. she’s petty—see: her interview with rita skeeter in GoF—and she’s narcissistic—see: her stint with the inquisitorial squad—and she’s a cliché, of course, just not an especially creative one.

there are obvious, valid criticisms to be made about how people interact with characters like pansy parkinson. and draco malfoy. and severus snape. but there is a huge difference between blindly excusing or romanticizing those characters’ actions and making an effort to humanize them.  

tl;dr

bad people are not bad characters.

How the Signs Kiss/How the Signs Are in Bed

~~~Use Sun and Mars~~~

Aries

Good: Destructive and fierce, they have a firm hold on you and they let you know they won’t let you go
Bad: Teeth-bashing aggression and broken noses

Taurus

Good: Sensual and romantic, with a twinge of dark desire
Bad: Like a dead fish, there’s nothing to work with

Gemini

Good: Wild and exciting, constant stimulation with a surprising intensity
Bad: They get distracted by their own voice and all they do is talk about what is happening instead of making anything happen

Cancer

Good: Nurturing and sweet, surprisingly fun and full of laughter and intimacy
Bad: They cry

Leo

Good: Passionate and dirty, it’s raw and intense
Bad: Make you do all the work and treat you kissing them like a peasant serving royalty some grapes

Virgo

Good: Attentive and trustworthy, like you feel like they love you already and they’ll take care of you
Bad: Cold and controlling

Libra

Good: Fun and sweet, it feels like a smile and sunshine
Bad: Just a fuckshit of awful, either they try to eat your face or don’t know how to open their mouths and they try to talk dirty to you and it’s embarrassing

Scorpio

Good: Passionate and all-enveloping you feel like it’s the only thing in the world
Bad: Say weird intense shit to you or want you to do some weird ass stuff

Sagittarius

Good: Playful and hot, they know how to get you where you need to go and aren’t shy about doing it
Bad: Sweaty and too forward

Capricorn

Good: Dominating and intense, you just trust they know what to do
Bad: Straight up mean and even a little creepy

Aquarius

Good: Fun and interesting and they feel like electricity running through you
Bad: Selfish and not all there somehow

Pisces

Good: Hypnotic and magnetic, you’re just lost in a dream with them
Bad: Just there

I’m sorry to be a downer and this isn’t ~about~ anything but I’d just like to remind everybody that hockey boys ARE gross and WILL disappoint you.

I… just get worried? Sometimes? My friends get all mushy over some NHL kid with bad teeth soft hands and a face like an unfortunate potato all “MY SON” and “THIS BOY” and I’m just like… pls do not get your heart broken when you are reminded that he is an overpaid spud marinated during his most tender years in a bath of economic exploitation and toxic masculinity

Pls remember that the actual good thing here is you and your joy in the things you experience and the meanings you create. Not him or his team.

Because if you depend on him to be good and pure and upstanding and valiant, well, there is a lot of social pressure on him not to be, and he is only human.

I want a dyke for president. I want a person with aids for president and I want a fag for vice president and I want someone with no health insurance and I want someone who grew up in a place that is so saturated with toxic waste that they didn’t have a choice about getting leukemia. I want a president that had an abortion at sixteen and I want a candidate who isn’t the lesser of two evils and I want a president who lost their lover to aids, who still sees that in their eyes every time they lay down to rest, who held their lover in their arms and knew they were dying. I want a president with no air conditioning, a president who has stood on line at the clinic, at the dmv, at the welfare office, and has been unemployed, laid off and sexually harassed and gay bashed and deported. I want someone who has spent the night in the tombs and had a cross burned on their lawn and survived rape. I want someone who has been in love and been hurt, who respects sex, who has made mistakes and learned from them. I want a black woman for president. I want someone with bad teeth, someone who has eaten hospital food, someone who crossdresses and has done drugs, and been in therapy. I want someone who has committed civil disobedience. And I want to know why this isn’t possible. I want to know why we started learning somewhere down the line that a president is always a clown: always a john and never a hooker. Always a boss, and never a worker, always a liar, always a thief and never caught.

- Zoe Leonard, I want a Dyke for President