Best Parts of Jupiter Ascending (2015)

Originally posted by cinematears

• “Somewhere over the Atlantic, she pushed me out too.” um gross???

• eddie REDMAYNEs Voldemort impression

• Maid in Manhattan sequence

• Channing’s Avril Lavigne eyeliner & elf ears


• Space orgy: it’s an orgy in space

• The unnecessary slow motion scenes

• Mila finds the world’s largest pad to pack wound with

Bees Don’t Lie

f e e l  m y  s k i n 

• Royal Bowels

• “I love dogs, I’ve always loved dogs” ??????

• What is the time frame of this movie?????? a day???? and she’s in love?????

• Throwing Channing into the void WITH HIS SPACE BOOTS AND SPACE SUIT!!!!!

• Titus tells mila He want to marry his own mum and she is just like “okey dokey.. why wouldn’t anyone in this known human killing planet have any sort of ulterior motives?”

I CREATE LIFE       a n d  i  d e s t r o y  i t

• eddie REDMAYNE cying

Murder whisk

• Elephant man???


• Gender neutral things to call ur partner in bed: your majesty

• Toilet count: 5

Bad movie ask list

1) Your favorite “so bad it’s good” movie

2) the worst comedy you watched

3) the worst drama you watched

4) the worst blockbuster you watched

5) the absolute worst movie you watched

6) the movie that disappointed you the most

7) the movie you know is bad but like it anyway

8) a bad movie with good actors

9) a movie you walked out of

10) a movie most people like but you don’t

Reblog it at will ! ^^


This thing…

This fucking thing…

How does this exist?! 

Best Parts of Battlefield Earth (2000)

Originally posted by songsaboutswords

• Slow motion horse

• Gold is universal currency for no explained reason

• Maniacal laughter

• John Travolta’s changing accents


• Powerpoint ‘dissolve’ scene transitions

• Piece of cake is still a relevant cliché without any concept of what cake is and why that would mean ‘easy’

• Diagonal camera angles?????


• Entire Cilvilisation trapped by a mini-golf course

• “I’m going to make you as happy as a baby Psychlo on a straight diet of Ferbango.” ?????????


• Language machine’s voice

• Language machine teaches geometry

• Instant-fringe



Why People Keep Watching the Worst Movie Ever Made

Many people consider The Room to be the worst movie of all time. So why do thousands of people flock to midnight screenings of it every month?

Jack O'Brien, Cracked’s founder and Editor-in-Chief and possible co-conspirator in the Nancy Kerrigan / Tonya Harding thing in the ‘90s that I don’t totally understand called me into his office, and I obliged like I sometimes do. 

“You, Katie Willert, Soren Bowie, Michael Swaim, and Cody Johnston will be in Chicago 4/21-4/23 for a pop culture and comic convention. You will be doing a live After Hours panel wherein you will workshop a future episode in real time, and then you’ll read an episode that hasn’t yet been seen, and then you’ll take pitches for future After Hours episodes from the audience.“

"I accept, as long as there’s room for me to do one of my long and fun dances for an audience that isn’t allowed to leave. Here are my demands for what I need for that dance: a giraffe, but not just any giraffe, a giraffe that is down, and I want you to note that I’m using italics when I say 'down,’ so to suggest that-”

“I’m not granting any of your demands, because you have no actual power here,” Jack said. “And you have two more panels that you need to do. You’ll be doing a panel about Bad Movies that Deserve a Remake and a panel about Guilty Pleasures, Defending Your Indefensible Taste. Can you repeat that back to me so I know that you heard and understood it.”

“You want me to find a famous boxer, get him to pee in the same water fountain as me so we switch bodies, and then you want us to box each other to see if having the brain of a boxer is more important than the body of a boxer.”

“Of course I don’t want you to- Wait, did you think they peed in a water fountain? Like a drinking fountain? Jesus, no, you’re not doing any of that.”

Our 'After Hours’ Crew Will Be At C2E2 In Chicago, Will You?