bad wheels!!!

10

The Forsaken + Onion Headlines

Just to be clear this is @veliseraptor‘s fault. (Their’s are funnier anyways.)

(Art Seamas Gallagher and Ariel  Burgess, all from the WoT wiki’s)

8

mood: Eliot advising Hardison to be more assertive in his relationship with Parker, realising he’s the one asserted over the whole evening, ending up secretly proud of it.

You don’t know passive aggression until you’ve been in Jack’s car when she’s pissed off with Geoff. Jolts and jerks and sudden brakes, hairpin turns and sickening spins, her face utterly blank as she tunes out their screaming. And there is always screaming, hardened criminals or not there is no fear like rocketing through incoming traffic at top-speed while the driver fumes in silence, no equivalent feeling to the alarm when she takes a sudden unplanned detour off road, bouncing overs hills and into ditches with reckless abandon, always right on the edge of losing control.

It’s a rare occurrence, thank the gods, Jack’s temper is usually loud and fleeting when it’s aimed at a crew-mate, but on the occasions when they really butt heads Geoff has always had a special ability to wind her up. Always had trouble admitting when he was in the wrong, refusing to just apologise, mocking any argument she comes up with rather than talking it out like an adult. So eventually Jack stops talking and Geoff, like a fool, always thinks it’s a victory.

Which eventually leads them here, crammed on top of each other and held captive by child locks and the inability to survive leaping from the speeding car, clutching at handles and handguns, at any part of each other they can reach, caught between fearing the end and praying for a speedy death. Because of course Geoff can’t help himself, has to press on open wounds even when the fight is over, has to poke the bear even when the bear is driving. Even when the bear has proven time and time again that at this point she’s prepared to drive them all straight into a grave rather than back down.

There is no pleading with Jack when she gets like that, not for the rest of the crew anyway, so when they’re caught in the crossfire it is always Geoff who catches their ire. As though sitting next to Jack in an arctic fury, being rattled around inside a little tin on wheels isn’t bad enough, Geoff inevitably finds himself dealing with a mutiny from the back seats. They make up for Jack’s silence tenfold, nauseous and unsettled their ultimatums are always particularly vicious, demanding his apology under threat of the unimaginable. Michael and Jeremy swear all kinds of bodily harm, Ryan has gotten halfway through upholding his promise to push Geoff out the window of the moving car, and once Gavin leaned forward and actually threw up on him.

When he does eventually give up, thoroughly disgruntled, legitimately worried for his life and snarling about the lack of respect in his shitty excuse for a crew, Geoff’s apology doesn’t lack sincerity. Jack, having not said a word throughout this whole exchange, lets him stew for a minute, speech rambling along with a distinct note of panic before she gives in, slows down, and laughs.  

  • Sun Jing: Hey babe.
  • Qiu Tong: Yea, babe?
  • Sun Jing: I love you, babe.
  • Qiu Tong: OMG babe, I love you, too, babe.
  • Qi Fang: Hey guys, can you shut the fuck up please?
2

Hey, we beat up some dancers.