i keep trying to memorize every detail of the moments i live in. in the soreness of my legs from standing so long at a concert, the chill of the night, the patterns of a tablecloth, the oily texture in my mouth after eating fried bananas. i keep trying to memorize the feelings, the quiet contentedness, the laughter, the excitement. i keep trying to memorize the people, their smiles, the way they speak, what makes them laugh. i’m constantly on the cusp of the next part of my life and that’s just so.. strange. but it makes it so much easier to find happiness no matter what’s happening to me, in a way? because i’m already kind of looking at life with those rose-colored glasses of nostalgia, simply because i know these are times i’ll never be able to live again, and these are people i might not always have, and that makes it so much easier to appreciate everything i might miss later.
Okay but if Jem Carstairs can be a good and kind person after being tortured nearly to death and being fatally ill for years after because of that, and hearing his parents scream for him whilst they were being tortured to death and then living in a place with a girl who hated them all, and a boy who tried to get everyone to hate him, then a girl who he is in love with, having the knowledge that he’d die before his time and never be able to live the entirety of his life with her, all whilst helping defeat the antagonists, protecting mundanes who would have been prejudiced against him due to his race (whilst being fatally ill), and never, ever complaining, then anyone can be a good and kind person too.