bad memorys

tonight is my last night in the house i’ve lived in for the past 9 years and i didn’t think i’d get emo because honestly i have a lot of Bad memories associated with this house but here i am getting emo

rubberglue  asked:

Marcus Bell 3, 8, 14

Originally posted by joanlockwatson

~scars/painful spots~

bullet wound on his stomach, numerous nicks and cuts from the job as well as childhood, an old skinned elbow from wrestling with his brother during a basketball game that got a little heated. his left knee sticks sometimes because of a lifetime of pickup games and intramural sports. nothing shows up on an MRI yet, but he assumes it’s only a matter of time.

~bad memories/experiences~

they’ve never said what happened to his dad, have they? maybe he was a jamaican immigrant who was deported when marcus was little, ended up staying where he was and trying to maintain a relationship with his boys through letters and phone calls.

eighth grade, the first two girls he asked to the school dance rejected him for being too short. this was a running theme in his life that he does his best to mitigate by having other things to bring to the table.

his first day as a detective, he overheard one of his new colleagues refer to him as a diversity quota. a couple of the bigger assholes started calling him DQ until he made them shut up by being good at his job.

~ingrained habits~

licks his lips, always chooses the treadmill furthest from the locker room, texts his mom after every shift so she knows he got home safe

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.