bad kids jokes

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Anonymous said:

Would you ever possibly consider reading a selection of the jokes on the badkidsjokes tumblr? Please?? Thanks???

This is probably going to end up being my own Lasagna Cat.

Original post from badkidsjokes

THE BIGGEST MAN

Who is the biggest man?

No one. You are all the same size.
You are all the same shade
of purple you are all
the same amount of scream
and of tomato paste 

None of you are cucumber.

All of them have almost finished building
that rope ladder 
that leads into the bisque-pot.

They are charging quite a lot for tickets
so you know it just has to be glorious.

As for me,
my arms have just turned into ice-cream.
I will eat them before they melt
and ponder the lives of famous amputees.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heuristic: Bad Kids Jokes

Art by Mary S. Swanson

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Wolves have no idea what the fuck they’re doing.

Original post from badkidsjokes

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Bad Kids Jokes 2: This Time, It’s Serious