bad in the middle of the night humor

Joseph is not a bad person

Yeah, I said it, the thing that so many people in this fandom are not happy to admit. Joseph is not a bad person, not by a long shot. Hell, there are far more issues with Robert than there are with Joseph - the only real moral difference between the two is that Robert gets a happy ending, and Joseph does not. That is literally it.

“But Joseph cheated-” Yes, yes he did. Joseph cheated on Mary with Robert, and he cheats on Mary with the MC. However, there is clearly a lot more to the Joseph/Robert story than we know, so there’s nothing that we can glean from it other than speculation. Somehow, a lot of people like to speculate that Joseph is the bad person because…Robert said so? Why on Earth would we believe one person? Even Mary doesn’t say her husband is a bad man, and she has every right to do so as his wife. Robert is not reliable. Then, when Joseph cheats on Mary with the MC, the two of them are actively about to get a divorce.

That’s it. Those three things, the two instances of cheating and Robert saying that Joseph isn’t a good person is literally all we have to say that Joseph is a bad person. That is it. The cult ending is still not in the game, and literally everything else is entirely speculation. There is no other evidence saying Joseph is a bad person.

“He lost track of his kids-” At a park, in the morning, in a safe neighborhood. Yeah sure it’s a little squiffy, but if we’re going to get on Joseph’s case for that then we should also be yelling at Mary for not only losing track of Crish, but completely disregarding her husband’s concern for the toddler.

Joseph actively gets upset if you lie on his route, Joseph actively tries his best to make sure that his youth party goes well, that his children are happy. He encourages his children’s weird behaviors and appears to have a good understanding of his autistic son as well. He spends time to create a man cave for him and the MC to relax and joke in, he supports Damien and all the other dads despite their gender and sexual alignment. He actively tries to help Hugo with Ernest and doesn’t lose his temper at the clearly troubled kid. There is so much good to this man, and this fandom is reducing him to an abusive manipulator based on no evidence other than “Robert said so”. The devs themselves have said before that you can’t take everything in this game at face value, and Robert is friends with Mary. I go into this more on another one of my posts, but Robert only ever sees Mary upset, so he only ever hears that Joseph is at fault. Is it so hard to imagine that maybe Robert is over reacting because he’s being over defensive of his friend? Is it really?

And as for Mary - again, Mary never says her husband is a bad man and, honestly, she’s more at fault for the shitty place their marriage is in than Joseph. That might be a touchy subject for some, but I’m serious. Mary goes out drinking most nights, she flirts with almost every man she meets, staying out until God knows when having ‘fun’ with Robert. Neil and Robert may insist that she isn’t cheating, but uh, flirting is still cheating. It is still 100% cheating on your partner to go out and flirt endlessly with another person. It is not okay, and will never be okay. She also lowkey makes fun of his religion, is obviously super flippant about caring for her children (she let her kids watch an R rated movie, and didn’t seem to care one lick about Crish), and is incredibly passive aggressive. Hell, at some points in the game, she is just aggressive towards the MC and Robert has to tell her to back off.

Mary is not a bad person, nor is Robert, but that’s kind of my point. None of these people are bad people, but somehow this fandom has turned Mary and Robert into pure cinnamon rolls and Joseph into a literal demon because…I don’t know. I really don’t know. There’s even a comic going around that keeps getting reblogged with tags like “yeah, fuck Joseph!” “Joseph is so cruel to Mary” “I wish Robert and Mary would get together and leave Joseph”. These tags are incredibly upsetting because of how short minded these people are. The comic has Mary coming home late at night with Robert practically shouting a song at the top of their lungs. People somehow see this as harmless fun and Joseph is totally just ruining it by being a bad husband…But seriously?

First of all, walking around incredibly drunk and screaming songs in the middle of the night is public indecency and you could have the cops called on you for disturbing the peace. Would you be happy if your drunk neighbor woke you up at night? What if you had a baby, like Craig?

And, secondly…How on Earth is Joseph the bad one in the situation for ‘stopping their fun’? Humor me for just a second if you’re having trouble understanding me. For just one second, imagine Mary is a man. We’ll say his name is Marty. Marty has a wife named Josephine. Marty goes out most nights to get incredibly drunk with his female friend, Robin. Josephine knows and has seen how Marty gets when he’s drunk, she knows how Marty flirts with the girls at the bar, sitting next to them, wrapping his arm around them, getting them to buy him drinks with a wink and a smile. Josephine has to put the four kids to bed each night - the autistic one, the hyper ones, and the toddler. Josephine waits up for her husband to come home, nervous for her safety, and nervous that…What if tonight was the night she brought another woman home? Or, came back in the morning smelling of another woman’s perfume? Then, she hears the tell tale singing of Marty and Robin on the way home, followed shortly after by the Crish’s cry and a light across the street turning on…

Does any of that sound even remotely okay? Could you imagine if the situation where truly reversed like that, with a husband getting hopelessly drunk most nights, flirting with women, and coming home late? Do you still think that he is totally at fault for being angry that his wife came home drunk? Honestly, there is no difference between the people telling Joseph to go fuck himself for ruining his wife’s ‘fun’ and the men I’ve seen my father hang around with joking about how my own mother was his ‘ball and chain’ for the exact same reason. There is a good reason my mom and dad are not together anymore.

Mary is clearly an alcoholic. Even if she’s not an angry drunk, I’ve known plenty of people and read plenty of stories of children who were raised with drunk parents. You usually only hear about the father, so again if you’re having trouble understanding why Mary’s alcoholism is an issue then imagine she’s Marty. Imagine Marty as a father who is constantly drunk or with a drink in hand, a father who accidentally lets you watch movies that you know you shouldn’t watch, a father who just waves you away and ignores you, a father who disappears every night…Why is mommy the only one home at night? Why are they fighting? Is it your fault?

That got a little heavy, but at this point I just want this to stop. I am so tired of going into the Joseph tag and finding nothing but hate post after hate post after hate post. I am so tired of seeing posts blaming Joseph for Mary’s alcoholism and Robert’s…Issues when we all know damn well that can’t possibly be the reason. Robert was a terrible person in his past and he’s upset about it, and we really don’t know what’s going on with Mary. We don’t, sans speculation. End of story. There is no way we can reliably blame Joseph for everything, and it’s even getting to the point where the anti-Joseph posts are actually becoming abusive to Joseph using Mary AND Robert as the assailants.

tl;dr: Joseph is not a bad man, Mary and Robert are not flawless, the way Mary acts is seriously problematic, and some of stuff you guys are posting is actually kinda hurtful. Can we reel a back a little?

All Too Well | Pt. 9

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Epilogue

Summary: You and Yoongi shared a loving relationship with one another until you both agreed to end things and pursue your separate careers. But two years later, Yoongi is a member of the ever growing Bangtan Boys, and you are a new makeup artist for their upcoming tour.
Pairing: Yoongi | Reader
Genre: Fluff/Angst/Smut; Idol & Makeup Artist AU
Word Count: 7,428
Author’s Note: I know I said part 9 would be the last one of the series, BUT after going through the outline and actually writing out the story, I decided to cut the last part into 2!!

.

Out of all the boys in Bangtan, everyone has always assumed that Yoongi would be the individual most likely to think problems through before attacking them with the full force of a bullet train. He elects to care about very little things in his life, but when he chose to express personal interest in a situation it’s guaranteed that he would put his entire being into ensuring its success. Given that he’s very careful about what to put his heart into, it’s constantly assumed that Yoongi would at least have the common sense to analyze the positive and negatives of his placement before diving in.

But, then again, he’s never really had much of a filter when it comes to you. You would always be that exception, the only tangible object in Yoongi’s life that he could never so neatly observe from an apathetic standpoint. It’s as if his head could never get screwed on straight enough to see reason because the thought of you is enough to make him see stars in the best way possible—and that concept is terrifying beyond belief.

You’ve always been different in every singular aspect and nothing at its very core could change that, and that very difference is what drives Yoongi out the door. All that calm and collected composure had been unraveling from the moment everyone landed back in Korea, or maybe even in the time frame before that, and the cold hard truth that things might not be the same when you returned eats at his nerves. He doesn’t think twice to grab his keys, his bag, literally anything he could get his hands on as he swings open the door of the dormitory.

Keep reading

safe ❁ liam dunbar

warnings / nightmares [mentioned], slight paranoia.
word count / 1,369.

quote “i’ll always make you feel safe, liam. i promise.”

(gif is not mine, credit to the owner)

masterlist

Liam felt a subtle wave of nausea as he settled in beneath the covers on top of his bed, his stomach knotted with uneasiness. A shaky breath fluttered in and out of his lungs as his wide eyes flickered to each of the four corners of his bedroom, scanning his surroundings for any signs of something abnormal. Of something dangerous.

Keep reading

Rap Monster (SugaMon)

Pairing: Namgi/SugaMon (Namjoon/Rap Monster & Yoongi/Suga)
Rating: M (because of one section of smut)
Genre: Humor/Smut/AU

Words: 13,605

SummaryYoongi is awoken in the middle of the night to find a man passed out on his doorstep, and that’s not even the worst of his problems. He has to take care of the guy for a week. Well…at least the guy is cute. Too bad he think his name is “Rap Monster” though…

(Also, Yoongi’s neighbor is literally Satan, he seriously wants to murder a handful of hospital workers, and how the hell can anyone say with such innocence that their name is “Rap Monster?”)

His life is a walking hell.

A/N: Ah~ The first long ass BTS fic I ever wrote. Brings back memories lol. Comments/reblogs/favs appreciated~


Yoongi is quite sure that the world is starting to hate him. In the last week the soles had fallen out of his favorite pair of red converse, he’d bombed the midterm of his Algebra course (but fuck math honestly—he didn’t give two shits about learning the quadratic formula), and now it’s 1 in the fucking morning and someone is pounding at his apartment door. He realizes it’s the hag that lives on the second story—the hag that always tells him his music is too loud even when he has headphones on­—and with an agitated huff flings himself out of bed. This isn’t the first time that witch has started banging on his door at weird times of the day so he already knows he can’t avoid it and goes to shut her up.

He pulls open the old wooden door angrily, not caring that he’s only wearing pair of plaid sleeping pants because he’s honestly not worried about this 80 year old lady checking him out even if he is good looking, and—shit, her demon cat is with her. How the fuck does that fat shit not break her neck when he sits on top of her head all the time? He really doesn’t get it, like—

“Your boyfriend is hurt,” she interrupts his thoughts, and Yoongi is getting angrier by the moment because is this bitch delusional?! Maybe she forgot to take her old-people medicine because Yoongi hasn’t had a boyfriend in months—maybe even years (he doesn’t try and keep track of time at this point)—and—

“Help him,” she speaks again, turning to stare down the front steps of his house, and despite the fact that Yoongi wants nothing more than to turn around and slam the door in her face he looks. He looks and sees that…someone is actually lying dead still at the bottom of his steps. Holy shit.

Heart thrumming in shock, Yoongi’s anger is momentarily pushed aside as he hurriedly jumps down the steps and kneels beside the person, praying that the guy’s not dead because he really doesn’t have the time to deal with the police when they’ve already visited him once this month because of a noise complaint from that old hag. And speaking of the old woman—

“Hey—,” Yoongi barks, turning his head up the steps to look at her but she’s already disappeared. Instead her demon cat is in her place and it hisses at Yoongi, promising his demise before it disappears as well. Yoongi is sure to spare a moment to flick off their now empty space before he returns to making sure the male at his feet isn’t dead.

Luckily, he’s not. After a few moments of silence Yoongi can easily hear his soft breathing and that’s somewhat reassuring—because now his chances of dealing with the police have diminished—but the guy still isn’t getting up.

“Yah!” Yoongi says with a bit of an attitude, shaking the guy’s shoulder gently—because either way he doesn’t want to chance fucking the guy up more—and as expected mister not-dead-but-sure-looks-like-it doesn’t move.

Now Yoongi’s getting pissed. Because first the annoying cat lady on the second story wakes him up in the middle of the night, then she tells him he has a boyfriend which for some reason in itself pisses him off, and now he’s outside half naked on this cold fall night, and there’s a dude—who he’s convinced is just passed out drunk at this point—on his doorstep and he won’t WAKE THE FUCK UP.

Yoongi’s just about ready to throw in the towel and leave the guy there—because why the fuck should he care anyway—when all of the sudden a car drives by, it’s headlights illuminating the scene, and Yoongi spots blood.

Fuck.

Keep reading

Deconstruction

Now, I have seen them
Gentle hands soft and long
And ones that I’ve desired to kiss
And her hair is ever dark
Skin ever pale
White dress, my betrayal

Imperfect was her perfection
We could not shut up about roses
Or any flower selection
On the hinges, my heart proposes

But at first I heard her
Every “ti” and every “la”
The notes of “he’s a little drama king”
Her impatience with my humor
Laugh from deepest lack
Are we good together? Knife in Back

Forehead to Forehead in the middle hall
As it was in a dream I had
During a chilly night in fall
At the edge, my dream was bad

Now I have heard her
Every “do,” soft and long
The notes I’ve desired to kiss
Her impatience with her hair
Laugh, ever so pale
Are we good together? Our betrayal.

Imperfect was her forehead in the middle hall
We could not shut up about the dreams we had
Or any chilly night in fall
On the hinges, my dream was bad

And on the hinges, we cast out the liars
And on the edge, we sang in the spire

Not Too Big

I apologize; I’m terrible with titles. But I just had to write this short little drabble after seeing this. So, please enjoy some catboy!yixing!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The outside of the shelter was bustling with people, all having heard it was closing and making last-minute efforts to save the hybrids. You made a few rounds before deciding you wanted a catboy, but none of them seemed to capture your attention. Making your way inside, you noticed that there was one catboy in particular who wasn’t out there with the others. He lied on a small bed within his glass enclosure, quite sullenly, and sensing your presence, he looked up at you, only to gaze back down at the floor.

”________-ah! Good to see you here!” Turning your head, you see your friend Changmin, whose family owns the place.

“Changmin-ah!” you exclaimed, hugging him. “I’m so sorry about the shelter.”

“It’s fine I guess; we’ll make it through. Are you thinking of adopting?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“I know things have been lonely since Minhee left, but are you sure you can afford to take care of one?” he asked, referring to your ex-roommate. Minhee had left two months ago to begin her gap year, and although she insisted you accompany her, you simply didn’t have the funds. Considering you had already graduated two years ago, you found it ridiculous that student loans were still ominously looming over your head, causing you to barely scrape by after this month’s rent.

“I’m sure I can make things work. Besides, I do need company.”

“That’s great then! Have you seen the ones outside?”

“Yeah, but, what about this one?” you asked, gesturing to the melancholy catboy within the enclosure.

“Oh, that one? Uh… he’s not very social. Like, at all. We got him a few months ago. He was left at our doorstep in the middle of the night. No collar, no note, no nothing. We call him Lay, because, well, all he does is lay there,” he stated, chuckling, although you didn’t find any humor in his remark.

“I’ll take him.”

“Are you sure? He doesn’t make for very good company…”

“I’m sure.” You felt bad for him. Who would just leave him in the middle of the night?

You took him home that day after buying a few extra supplies. He was silent the entire car ride, opting to stare out the window. When you arrived home, he just took a seat on the floor as you stepped into the kitchen.

“Please make yourself comfortable! This is your home now too. Do you want anything to eat?” No response. Sighing, you gathered some pillows and blankets and placed them in front of him. “Sorry I don’t really have a proper place for you to sleep yet. I’ll get everything settled in a few days. I hope we can be good friends, alright?”

And so a week passed, with not much luck. It wasn’t that he was rude, - he was actually quite obedient and picked up after himself - he was just… distant. He never really looked you in the eye, and had yet to utter a single word. He just nodded or shook his head at everything you said. Even more frustrating, you had exceeded your budget for this month, putting in extra effort to buy him things that would make him happy, but nothing seemed to do the trick. Drowning amongst bills, bills, and more bills, you decided to take a breather and headed over to your piano. It has been a long time since you’ve had time to play, but your fingers don’t seem to reflect that as they travel delicately up and down the keys, melting together to create a melodious tune.

“That sounds nice.” The sudden interruption caught you by surprise, abruptly ending your reverie. You spun around to find that the voice came from… Lay? “Sorry if I scared you. But I like that song. Can you keep playing?” You nodded slowly, shocked that he had actually spoken to you. You turned back around, continuing the euphony of keys, and from your peripherals you could see him sit down at the base of the piano. You swore you heard a few purrs of delight coming from his direction.

And that was how it started. Slowly but surely, he opened up to you. “You can call me Yixing,“ you remember him telling you. You had grown very close to him over a short period of time, and your favorite pastime was teaching him how to play the piano, which he was miraculously good at, just by ear. One night, a month or so later, as you were laying on the couch, he came to join you. He hovered over you a bit, adjusting his position, and you gave him a few scratches behind his right ear, causing his limbs to weaken, effectively landing on top of you.

"Oomph,” you huffed. You chuckled before jokingly adding “I think you’re too big to be trying to fit on this tiny couch with me.” Instantly, he was off of you. You felt the atmosphere tense as he fidgeted with the hem of his shirt.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I’m not t-too big, don’t worry! I can make myself fit! Plus, I won’t grow anymore! This is my full size, I-I promise,” he rambled with flattened ears and tail curved in between his legs, almost cowering.

“Hey, hey, I’m sorry. I was just joking,” you said, pulling him back onto the couch with you. “What’s wrong?” you asked, stroking the top of his head. He hesitated before telling you everything. About how he was adopted as a kitten by a loving family - or so he thought. They had treated him so well when he was small, but as he grew, they slowly started to neglect him. One day, he overheard them talking about how he had grown too big - they never wanted a fully-grown catboy, just a kitten that their youngest daughter could play with. He had become a burden. The next thing he knew, he was on the steps of the shelter, not even left with a single goodbye from the family. You listened carefully to his confession, your heart breaking with every sentence. When he finished, he looked at you with red eyes, liquid threatening to topple over the brims of his lower eyelids. “Yixing-ah,” you started, pulling him into your chest. “I’m sorry about what happened. But I would never, ever leave you, okay?” You felt him nod before enveloping you into a hug.

“Thank you for taking good care of me, even when I wasn’t being a good pet.”

“Hey, we’re friends now, okay? Friends don’t leave each other behind. Plus, I don’t mind your size. That just means there’s more of you to cuddle with.” He chuckled softly. “Now, are we gonna watch this movie, or what?” He nodded and again readjusted himself, this time placing his body beside yours, wrapping his arms around you.

"I love you,” he muttered, before nuzzling into the crook of your neck.

“Love you too,” you replied, reaching over to run your fingers through his hair, earning some loving purrs.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

There you go! Also, quick grammar lesson: people actually lie, not lay. But I couldn’t pass up the opportunity for a pun, so I committed a tiny grammar sin. If you enjoyed this, you should like this post or something and maybe I’ll write more… Happy New Years everyone!

personal memories with each of the signs (from a sagittarius)
  • aries: having to debate against each other in english class and it turning into a screaming match that we both laughed at after it was over
  • taurus: after me accidentally tipping over my christmas tree, we had to drag it over to the dump together and we were laughing super hard the whole time
  • gemini: holding a personal facetime record of talking to each other for 12 hours straight
  • cancer: meeting for the first time in real life after having been friends through twitter for almost a year
  • leo: walking down the street on my birthday behind a crazed homeless man and watching a little girl run up to him, jump about 6 feet in the air in terror, and run away, and then us laughing about it for the rest of the night
  • virgo: going boy-crazy together talking to each other about our crushes on boys and giving each other good music to listen to every now and then
  • libra: letting a gps take us to another city (2 hours away) by accident instead of a restaurant that was 45 minutes away
  • scorpio: walking to a park near my house and spending the day at these pretty campgrounds listening to frank ocean and watching the trees above us move with the wind and saying nothing for 15 minutes to take it all in
  • sagittarius: walking down south beach late at night with her family as we were loudly singing "dancing queen"
  • capricorn: ok im not close with any capricorns but each and every single one that i've met, even if they're a bad person, has such a good sense of humor like they're such witty and deadpan assholes and they make me laugh SOOOO much
  • aquarius: having an hour-long conversation at 2 in the morning during a sleepover about how big we thought all of our guy friends' dicks were
  • pisces: hanging out once in middle school and prank-calling random phone numbers telling them that we were the "Purple Flower Foundation"

I support a vulnerable Luke Skywalker. I support a Luke Skywalker who cries. A Luke Skywalker who wakes up screaming in the middle of the night reliving the farm, the Death Stars, Bespin. Who longs to be a husband and father almost as much as he longs to be a Jedi. I support a Luke Skywalker who has an astonishingly dirty sense of humor. I support a Luke Skywalker who curses under his breath. Who tells bad jokes that make others cringe. I support A Luke Skywalker who loses his temper and says things he doesn’t mean to. I support a Luke Skywalker who loves too easily. I support a Luke Skywalker who can be amazingly gentle. Who is kind and soft-hearted, but can be as stern, deadly, and dangerous. A Luke who becomes enraged by sexisim, racisim, and speciesisim.

So I thought I might make a Netflix zombie movie reclist. It contains all sorts of different types of zombie films, so there is something for every occasion. By no means is it super extensive, but these are some of my personal favs, and at the very least they provide material for one wild movie marathon.

  • Fido: This movie is strangely cute for a zombie movie but don’t let that turn you away because it’s extremely enjoyable. It takes place in the 50’s. A company called Zomcom has come up with technology that can domesticate zombies, letting the rich and elite use them as slaves. This movies follows a young boy who befriends his family’s new zombie slave.
  • I Sell the Dead: An interesting take on zombies that involves two grave robbers in the 1800’s. Think Shaun of the Dead meets Sleepy Hollow. Awesome, right? Yes. It is. Also Ron Perlman. Seriously. I love this movie.
  • Cockneys Vs. Zombies: A group of kids try robbing a bank the same day the zombie virus happens to spread through London. This movie has So Many things that I love in it including humor, heart, and asskicking old people.
  • Zombibi (Kill Zombie!): A dutch film (yes subtitled). Like the aforementioned Cockneys Vs. Zombies, this movie has a lot of humorous moments and some good gore moments, just ignore the green blood. I laughed a lot, even when I didn’t understand the regional references. A fun film.
  • Pontypool: Okay, this isn’t technically a zombie movie–it’s more of an infection movie, but the “creatures” are zombie-like enough I’m willing to include it here (because I really love it). It is centered on a shock jock narrating the spread of the virus while stuck in his radio booth. Super intriguing and a bit eerie.
  • Night of the Living Dead: Obviously a classic, had to put on the list for Romero reasons. Sometimes I take for granted that not everyone has actually seen this movie. Re-invented the zombie, and the zombie genre as we know it. Supremely important.
  • Day of the Dead: Another must-see Romero classic. A bunch of asshole soldier dudes and one seriously badass lady.
  • Dead Snow: Norwegian film. Classic cabin in the middle of nowhere scenario except with nazi zombies…really fast, strong and smart nazi zombies….basically everyone’s worst nightmare. Also has some humorous moments. This movie gets quite gory. Subtitled.
  • Night of the Creeps: 80’s teen movie combined with zombies. What else matters in life, honestly.
  • Deadheads: I contemplated not putting this on the list, because this movie is objectively so bad, and it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but I love it so much and I can’t explain why. It’s a zombie romcom (yes, you read that correctly). The lead character is a zombie (who, due to an experimental drug, can walk/talk/exist like a human being) on a mission to reunite with his ex-girlfriend. I cannot reiterate enough how bad (but simultaneously good) this movie is. Just don’t take it too seriously.
  • Doc of the Dead: This is a documentary about zombie culture as a whole, and is super interesting. It talks about the history of zombies and how they’ve evolved over the years. Includes interviews/testimonials from some of the greats, such as: George Romero, Robert Kirkman, Greg Nicotero, Max Brooks, Tom Savini, Simon Pegg, Bruce Campbell, etc., etc.
  • ParaNorman: Another one I wasn’t sure if I should include, only because it’s not typically what someone might imagine when they think of a zombie movie, but fuck you this is one of my favorite films and it has zombies and it’s on netflix so it’s going on the list. Super cute, funny, and full of heart, it is very important to me, and is perfect if you want something that isn’t too dark/complicated and/or want something that has zombies and is still appropriate for younger kids. You never know.
  • The Returned: This isn’t your typical zombie gorefest, it’s more of a political/medical drama/thriller. Basically after the zombie outbreak, treatment was developed that lets those infected live like fully functioning human beings as long as they take their dose every day. Well shit goes down, doses run low, there are “anti-returned” groups killing the infected, etc. etc. This is a really great film, but it’s super depressing, like it legit made me cry but I also love it.

anonymous asked:

I would like a fanfic where the gang plays with an Ouija board, please.

Yes. Just Yes. I am into creepy things so I am down for this! :D


Tadashi is Here (ooo, original title O.O) 

Rating: K

Characters: Hiro Hamada, Fred, Honey Lemon, Wasabi, Gogo, Baymax 

Word Count: 1761

Summary: The gang is at Fred’s place and he got himself a Ouija board! He convinces the others to play, and well…someone else wanted to play too…


It was game night at Fred’s mansion. The team always tried to find some down time to relax between all the battles the ensured at night. They just wanted to devote every Saturday night as game night and not mention a single word about fighting - they loved being superheroes, but sometimes they liked pretending they were ‘normal’ college students. 

The group was sitting on the couch waiting for Fred to get back to them with his game pick. He finally got back to them holding a wooden board in his hand. 

“Alright everyone I got quite the game that should impress you,” Fred stated proudly. 

He ecstatically held the board up for his friends to see, showing them the letters and numbers it had on it. Everyone in the group had their own feelings towards it, but Hiro was the first to laugh it off. 

“Really, Fred? A Ouija board? You know those things are fake, right?”

“Nonsense, little dude! I’ve been doing my research on these things for awhile now. This thing is totally real!”

Honey Lemon gave Fred a sheepish smile. “It’s….really not.”

 “Fred, I hate to put a damper on your fun, but we all know it’s fake. When you use the Ouija board, it’s just you hand moving the dial,” Wasabi explained. 

Fred started to get frustrated. “Aw, come on guys! I just want to try it out. And who knows, maybe it works!” 

Hiro sighed out of annoyance. “Fine, but only because you picked it and we know you’d never make us switch our games.”

“Glad you see it my way.”

Fred dimmed the lights down before he took a seat in the middle of the couch. He placed the Ouija board on the table waiting for everyone to join in. 

“I can’t believe this is how we’re spending game night,” Gogo complained. 

“Oh, come on Gogo, where’s your sense of adventure?” Fred asked humorously.

“I can tell you where it’s gonna be!” 

“Whoa whoa, easy there!” Wasabi said, pulling Gogo back. 

We’ll just play it for a few minutes in case it gets to scary.”

“Or too boring…”

“Lets just get this over with,” Honey Lemon said looking a little scared now.

“Don’t worry, Honey. Nothing bad will happen.”

“Yeah, because it’s FAKE!” Gogo was really not into the game. 

“We’ll see about that.”

Fred was the first to place his hand on the dial, followed by Hiro, following by Honey Lemon whose hand was trembling, followed by Wasabi whose hand was trembling twice as worse, followed by Gogo who knew she’d never hear the end of it if she didn’t place. Baymax was also there, but there wasn’t enough room for him to play, so he sat on the floor watching them. 

“So, what do we do now? Just ask questions?” Hiro asked.

“Yup.”

“What should we ask?”

“I’ve watched plenty of ghost shows before, and I think we should start off with the obvious…”

Fred cleared his throat, pressing down harder on the dial. “If there are any spirits in this room…please tell us.” 

There was no doubt that the group started pressing down on the dial with more pressure just to see if something else could make it move. Even after a few seconds went by, nothing happened.

“I knew this thing was fake,” Gogo said feeling impatient.

“Hey, it only the first question. Maybe I should say it louder.”

Fred cleared his throat again. “If there are any spirits in this room…please tell us.”

After a few seconds, nothing happened again…

…but just as the group was about to take their hands off the dial, it started to move over to the letters. Wasabi let out a small shriek as the others gasped. 

“Okay, which one of you is making the dial move?” Gogo asked frustrated.

“Well it sure wasn’t me!” Wasabi said still holding the dial with his fingers shaking.

“Not me,” Hiro pointed out.

“Neither am I,” Honey Lemon said.

“And it’s sure not me,” said Fred.

“Well someone is making it move!”

The dial moved through the letters until the circle showed that it was clearly on the letter ‘T’. 

“T?” Honey Lemon questioned?

“Why would a spirit land on the letter T?”

“Probably trying to spell out how he’s gonna KILL US!”

“Wasabi, whatever this spirit is, it’s not gonna kill us…” 

Hiro may have said that, but now with the thought crossing his mind, he started to have his doubts. They all thought that the Ouija board itself was fake, but with all of them confirming that they weren’t the ones moving the dial, anything could be possible now. The group all placed their hands on the dial again. Hiro took in a deep breath. He had to ask something to the board himself.

“Y-you’re not gonna kill us, right? Please say no…”

Within a matter of seconds the dial moved again, and luckily for the group, the circle was around the word ‘No’. The group all simultaneously took a sigh glad to see that whoever was communicating with them was good. 

“Okay good…it’s just a friendly spirit.”

“Tadashi.”

The friends all peered over at Baymax. They were all so caught up in the board that they forgot he was in the room with them. 

“What?” Hiro asked. He knew what Baymax said, but he needed clarification that what he heard was what he thought it was. 

“Tadashi,” Baymax repeated. 

The group all looked at each other confused. Why was Baymax suddenly saying his name?

Hiro walked over to Baymax with a concerned look on his face. “B-Baymax…what about Tadashi?” 

Everyone was equally confused by Baymax suddenly saying Tadashi’s name out of nowhere. They weren’t talking about him. In fact, no one was even thinking about him in the moment. 

“Tadashi is here.”

With that being said, everyone in the room was still. Hiro stood facing Baymax, but his heart was beating faster than it had in a long time. He didn’t know what to say or question why Baymax was saying it, but everything made sense to the boy now.

“Wait a second…” Hiro said walking back over to his friends. “Friendly spirit…the dial landing on the letter T. T stands for Tadashi….Fred, do you mind if I ask the board a question by myself?”

“Knock yourself out.”

Hiro rushed over to the board and pressed down on the dial as hard as he could without breaking it. On the off chance that the spirit was who everyone was starting to believe it really was, he had to give him a challenge. 

“T-Tadashi….are you the one making the dial move?”

It took a few seconds, but the dial started to move, and when it was done, it slid over and the circle said ‘yes’. 

When Hiro saw this, he immediately took his hand off the dial, and started backing away as he yelped. He fell to the ground breathing heavily. Honey Lemon helped him back up and started holding onto him.

“Hiro, it’s okay…calm down. It’s only your brother. Tadashi’s talking to us!”

Everyone looked at Hiro with a smile on their faces. Even Gogo looked happy. But all Hiro could do was stare down at the board where the dial was now. And as he continued to breathe, tears began to form in his eyes. Honey Lemon took note of this and became concerned for her friend.

“Hiro, what’s wrong?” she asked him as a tear strolled down his cheek. 

“T-T-Tadashi…” Hiro said breathing in with a slight sob. “He’s…here.” 

“Of course he’s here, Hiro. We should have known he’d be the one talking to us,” Gogo said quietly.

Honey Lemon wiped the tears away from Hiro and continued holding onto him. 

“C-oool!” Fred shouted. He placed his hand on the dial with a huge grin on his face. 

“Tadashi, my man! What’s Heaven like!” 

“Fred!”

“What? It’s a valid question?”

“There’s no way Tadashi has time to answer that on a cheap board!” Wasabi explained. “Lets just still to the yes or no questions here.”

“Okay fine. Tadashi are you proud of us for starting our own superhero team?”

The dial moved, but it stayed at ‘yes’

“Me next! Hey Tadashi, how do you feel….about Baymax being a superhero? Do you like the upgrades Hiro made on him?” Wasabi asked.

The dial moved. It was in between the ‘yes’ and ‘no’

“That’s not even on a word!”

Hiro examined the board. “It’s between the yes and no. I think that means he has mixed feelings about it. Not that that’s a shock considering he made Baymax intending for him to be a nurse, but since he’s still helping people, it’s not all bad. I probably would’ve messed with Baymax even if…Tadashi was still here…”

“I wanna ask him something!” Honey Lemon shouted. She placed her hand on the dial, and said, “Hey Tadashi! Miss you, but uh I wanna know…are you happy? Y’know not just in general, but are you happy with how things are working out between all of us?”

The dial moved back to the ‘yes’. 

Everyone smiled again. Without saying anything, Gogo moved over. Despite her doubts with the board, she knew that Tadashi was communicating with them. “Tadashi…we all miss you….I don’t really know what to ask, but…..just…do you enjoy watching over us?”

The dial moved, but it stayed on ‘yes’.

The group let Hiro have the final move. Nobody wanted the conversation to end, but they couldn’t keep sitting around Fred’s room in the dark talking to Tadashi forever. 

“Tadashi…I don’t have a question, but I just want to tell you that I’ve missed you a lot…” Tears started forming in his eyes again. “I know that’ll never stop, but…I just want you to know that I think about you a lot and I’m glad we found a way to communicate with you.”

The dial moved over to the letters in the following order:

I….L…..O……V……E…….Y……O……U…..

Hiro laughed as he cried. “Love you too, bro.”

The dial moved over to the end on the ‘Good’ and the ‘bye’. Hiro wiped away the last of his tears and got a group hug from his friends. 

“Fred, is it okay if I can borrow the board sometime?”

“Sure, no problem.” 

The group said no words after nor did anyone turn the light on. Instead they continued their long hug with Baymax joining in as well. 


And there you have it! Thank you anonymous for the suggestion! Awww, it was cute in the end. Now the gang has a way to talk to their favorite dead guy. This almost makes me wanna go out and buy a Ouija board…almost. Who else would try to talk to them anyway? Anyway, I hope you all enjoy reading this; it sure was fun to write! Sorry for any possible tears this creates. :D

Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap -tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones. “Holy cow, Mister,” one of them said after catching his breath, “You scared us half to death – we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?”

“Those fools!” the old man grumbled. “They misspelled my name!”

2

Bear, there is a reason almost all of our wedding pictures show us laughing. We started our marriage in the same way I know we’ll live the rest of our lives together.

Through the good, the bad and the super really bad, we’ve laughed. While pushing through unemployment, serious illness, stressful moves & sick puppies, we see the humor in what the universe tries to throw at us. We find joy in amazing adventures and everyday routines. On slow sunny days, crisp fall afternoons and lately, freezing winter nights even our oldest jokes feel new. In the middle of a huge blow out fight one of us will make some ridiculous smart ass comment and we’ll fall down laughing.

That’s how I know that this is forever. That’s how I know that you were always meant for me and I was always meant for you. Both of us see that nothing in this life is impossible as long as you’re still laughing. 

Thank you for the funniest three years of my life. I love you, Bear!

temunide  asked:

KAKAGAI

oOOOOH BOY

  • who the fuck put the peeps in the microwave

they both did. they were peep jousting. the whole house smelled like burnt marshmallow for a week and they went through $50 worth of rematches, but kakashi ended up victorious. gai swore revenge when the halloween peeps came out.

  • who forgot to put the cat outside before sex

cats??? dogs more like it and kakashi never can keep track of where they are even though theyre his responsibility. pakkuns ends up taking charge and keeping all the dogs in safe parts of the house

  • who breaks the most phones

gai because he keeps forgetting where he puts it down and always breaks them in exaggerated and comical ways like flipping them through a window or pouring a pot of water on them or something. kakashi doesnt know how he manages to do it but is somewhat amazed

  • who posts vines of the other doing embarrassing shit

kakashi somehow managed to get gai breaking one of his phones on video and it goes hella viral. 

  • who dies first

they never die they are ETERNAL

  • which one I could see as being lactose intollerant

kakashi honestly he doesnt think its such a big deal but gai brings home ice cream one night as a special treat and kakashis like “oh sorry i cant have any im lactose intolerant” and even though it isnt that bad gai makes a fuss over him and gets really into alternative recipes and stuff and kakashi quietly thinks its sweet

  • who thinks they can do something really well even though they can’t

both of them honestly theyre huge awful dorks but they keep humoring each other and secretly help each other get better at those things with challenges and training

  • who is more likely to get kicked out of the bed

gai, but he’ll kick himself out of bed because he feels bad about accidentally waking kakashi up in the middle of the night, so when kakashis seems like hes having a bad night gai will catnap and check on him periodically to make sure that he gets some sleep 

  • who uses the computer most

kakashi, only because gai cant figure out how to use one to save his life. neither of them uses a lot of technology, but whenever kakashi does something like placing an order online or looking up directions gai gets excited about how Modern and Cool kakashi is for doing this! gai still has a bunch of paper maps laying around and uses them to navigate.