So, with the way my college works, I have off during spring term. The idea is meant to be that you find an internship during a time when fewer other people are looking.
I’ve got my Microsoft internship lined up for the summer. (The interview process was rigorous and mother of fuck I got it.) So for spring I was planning on just looking around for something…smaller. Maybe a start up company in NYC to intern for, from mid-March to mid-May
But I’m thinking more and more that I want to…not do that. I’m just very tired of using all my time on things that aren’t for me. All my time lately has been for homework or class or TA-ing or helping friends through things or me trying to scrape together some sleep.
I want to maybe just live at home during the spring, try to pursue some independent project–spend a few months researching something that interests me and trying to build up a program from scratch that does something cool, something I can put on my resume.
I wanna fix my running schedule and exercise on my own terms, because I’ve had no time for that lately and it’s been awful for my anxiety. I want to spend a lot more time writing A Breach of Trust, because I’m so…damn excited for things to come and I’m so tired of having no time for writing it and making it happen. I wanna be able to spend time with my mom, because once my little brother goes to college this next fall she’ll be all alone, post-divorce. I wanna spend time with my dog, who’s pushing 12 years old and winding down his time.
I wanna sleep.
I…feel like it’s a little bit of a cop-out to not be finding a spring internship. I feel like I’m supposed to, and I’m lagging behind in some race if I don’t. But if I can put together a cool project, that may be more of a resume boost than a minor tech position at a start-up company. Hell, I’ll have Microsoft on my resume, soon enough…
I gotta talk to my parents about it. Maybe it’s a bad choice, career- and resume-wise, I don’t know… I kinda just wanna be able to sleep enough.