Fandom opinion from what I have gathered so far tends to either characterize Teru as this pure boy who has a crush on or lives for the attention of Mob and gets nervous and anxious over it like a shoujo heroine, OR this somewhat edgy yandere that fucks a girl every week and would probably choke and abuse Mob or something… and I fucking cringe.
Both are so wrong I don’t even know where to begin and I know both characterizations are passive aggressive wars between “antis” and “nasties” but lol, that’s something I am not coming within a 20 ft pole of and I can’t stand when ppl warp characterization to piss off the other parts of a fandom instead of reading carefully with canon… but I digress.
I think what’s jarring and easily misinterpreted is Teru’s change of behavior following his battle with Mob.
There was a great Tumblr post awhile back (which seems to have been deleted, argh) that hypothesized that Teru’s change in personality is an example of altruistic surrender.
Altruistic surrender refers to an ego-defence mechanism postulated by Anna Freud by which a person internalizes the values of another person and lives his or her life in accordance with those values.
I never took a psych class so I’m not going to delve into this further but this makes a lot of sense, since Teru’s previous identity and system of values took such a huge collapse that it’s impossible for him to formulate and rebuild it quickly, so he latches onto and internalizes Mob’s values, which does ultimately change him for the better and is a powerful driving force in him learning to reform his own personality, but does clash with his inherent personality traits to an extent.
Teru says during his battle with Mob that “people can’t change that easily” and that point is simultaneously right and wrong regarding himself. On the surface, it seems like he’s suddenly changed, but that’s because his entire world has been uprooted to the point he can’t return to it so he’s substituting believing in (and thus admiring) Mob until he figures himself out again.
However, for a person with stubborn pride like Teru, when that pride is shattered it doesn’t smooth out immediately, but impales the person on its pieces. You definitely see flashes of those gaping wounds post-defeat - an example being when he intimidates Ritsu, which I believe was both genuine advice and a way to vent frustration with his own former self.
In the manga, you see that Teru gets addicted to developing and refining his psychic power and learning multiple techniques. Sure, it’s probably because it’s useful if he and Mob ever have to fight a shady organization again (and they do), but on some level he’s still trying to surpass Mob in some way. He’s not demanding Mob acquiesce to his values like he did initially, but he’s trying to prove, perhaps both to Mob and himself that he’s an equal - since he can’t match Mob in overwhelming power reserves, he makes up for it in versatility. And from my point of view he seems to be always, on some subconscious level, trying to figure out why he wants to prove himself to Mob - as a friend? A rival? Maybe both? Why? Does he simply want peace of mind by proving that point? Or does he want to ‘repay’ Mob for ‘saving’ him? Shrugs, we can never know exactly but those are both possible.
It’s interesting that Teru’s catchphrase is “I am an ordinary person” and it seems like something he both accepts and fights at the same time. He accepts it in that he’s gotten through to his head that psychic powers don’t make him a better person inherently, they’re just another talent, etc. He fights it because he simply has too much ambition to sit quietly and not be outstanding in some way (“through effort, I have become an exception”).
Unlike Mob, he doesn’t easily accept being ‘nothing’ and having ‘no presence’ - he doesn’t quite have the strength of heart to embrace that ideal without looking back. But I do feel like this time the way he deals with it is healthier because he wants to stand out for genuine hard-earned achievement, not arbitrary factors he was born into.
Now, I’ll address the characterization in most TeruMob fics of Teru as the “nervous blushing shoujo heroine” and WHY I think people make that mistake a lot of times when writing fluff. Those writers aren’t 100% utterly WRONG in reading how Teru would act towards Mob in a romantic fanon context but they oversimplify his internal thought processes and fixate too much on the tropey outwards actions.
Teru has never had a real friend before Mob because his previous “friendships” were for status and ego boosts. Mob saw through that facade while everybody else bought into it.
There’s a lot that could give him anxiety re: forming his first friendship because it’s new and difficult and he’s learning as he goes along without being able to skip any steps, and also because Mob is particularly difficult to read as is. Teru and Mob, in the earlier stages of their friendship (outside of the necessary temporary alliance in the Claw infiltration arc) would probably be very awkward as both of them can easily be concerned with what could go wrong.
Mob is bad at reading the atmosphere, and Teru is not the greatest at genuine communication without putting up a front, so you can imagine how that goes.
Now if we’re going the route of implying Teru having romantic feelings for Mob, that complicates things further. Teru’s dated girls for show but when it comes to somebody he genuinely likes… given the way he’s handled facing his own emotional problems thus far I’m inclined to think he’d be in denial. While Mob’s clinical, pathological compartmentalization of his emotions made him a literal time bomb of sorts, Teru is more of the “self-aware but actively avoiding” type is my interpretation. And frankly speaking, there’s a lot that could go wrong should he get into a relationship with somebody he has genuine feelings for because he has too much to unpack about himself. His admiration of Mob in general would prompt him to also keep those feelings under wraps because the friendship is already an intricate maze to navigate.
Again, everything I’ve just explained is probably where TeruMob fic writers are coming from but they tend to gloss over or skip depicting these parts and thus end up with a hollow shell of what could have been. Also, for anime-only watchers, it’s easy to not get a good grasp on Teru (because you miss out on his technique-developing obsession and what that implies) I feel.
alex danvers is bored. which on a date on a friday night? nothing new to her. she continuously tried and tried before and it never felt right, but with kara in the happiest relationship she’s ever been in with james, alex feels this need to try one more time. to maybe hope to excel at this one last time.
it’s going about as well as it did the last time she had tried this. horribly.
so far internet dating has resulted int four of terrible dates. two she left before they could even hit the first hour, this one she promised she would at least try and stop to enjoy it.
yet, it hasn’t been working. alex feels like she would rather her drown herself, physically in the beer in her hand than continue to sit here and drink it and pretend that she’s enjoying the guy’s arm around her shoulder, or his stupid scruffy face or god, the way he keeps shushing her when she goes to say something.
this baseball game would be much more enjoyable if she were allowed to have an opinion, but this guy hasn’t once asked if she even knew the teams, or anything about the game, he just assumed she hadn’t. assumed she was oblivious and stupid, and so inherently female that she didn’t understand a simple game.
a game she played as a kid herself, when she wasn’t surfing. a game she gets to play sometimes with kara on a larger scale when they hit up the desert and they see how far she can hit it.
( not how hard, kara! how far. )
and boy is this grinding on her nerds. she goes to speak once more but the just a second babe. gives her enough response to decide that within the next inning she was going to excuse herself, and leave. she was just waiting for an acceptable moment.
there’s a lull in the game, and alex thinks this might be her moment. josh, the idiot she decided to go out with tonight, has turned to some guy next to her, and has spent three minutes ( she knows she’s counted on her watch - deo grade and all. ) talking to him about the third baseman.
her eyes dart up to the large screen, she thinks it was more out of a small habit of trying to find somewhere to look, that wasn’t leaning closer to his horrible breath, but when she does she gasps.
a large intake of breath happens, and she’s not even sure that that she’s seeing correctly until people are cheering and she can feel the pit of dread in her stomach. it settles like a bad night with too much alcohol.
national city’s kisscam! in bright big letters that alex danvers thinks about smashing into little itty bitty pieces.
she turns to josh because she expects - even though the screen shows differently - that he’d be waiting for her to well, kiss him. but he’s not, he’s still engaged in whatever stupid conversation he was having, his arm wasn’t even around her anymore she was completely disentangled form him. and though she should be grateful right now she’s mostly mortified and annoyed.
for fucks sake.
one achingly long beat.
a sharp intake of breath.
“babe, listen, give me like five fucking minutes and we’ll go get something to eat alright? chill out.”
he didn’t even turn around, or stop talking to the other oblivious and clearly there by himself idiot.
she’s about to handle this alex danvers style. with finesse. with anger. with god damn pride, and stride off camera.
she blindly reaches for her jacket behind her when she feels a tap next to her.
she goes to snap. she goes to say what the hell do you want? she goes to say anything but instead, she lays eyes on the most beautiful woman she has ever seen. with the softest eyes, and a large and nervous grin. and alex swears that her stomach both swooped and got butterflies at the same time.
she doesn’t even realize that the other woman is talking, until she realizes that she’s waiting for a response.
instead of an explanation she gets a laugh and the other woman must have made an executive decision. one because she would guess later, the camera was going to move very soon if she didn’t.
it takes literally three whole seconds for her to realize the woman is kissing her.
before she can even realize what’s happening her hand is reaching out to fit along the jaw of the other woman. the mystery woman. trying to pull her closer.
she mentally makes a list of the first three things that can come to her mind clearly.
one. she’s kissing a woman, a woman!!
two. said woman’s kiss has to be the best kiss she’s ever gotten in like forever. possibly in the entirety of her whole dating life. possibly in the next forever as well. she may never get kissed this well again.
three. the crowd is cheering, the world is moving on, somewhere behind her she hears josh’s loud what the fuck! but none of that matters because three, oh three. this woman has the softest lips alex has ever kissed and she doesn’t want to stop.
she unfortunately does though. only when said woman pulls away, dimple worthy grin on her face, glancing behind alex with a flush.
alex is dazed, and confused, and so, so, so wanting to kissing her again, which is confusing, but very much an impulse she’d give into.
but she’s enough put together that she knows to glance behind where ever the other woman’s gaze is. it turns out its on josh, who’s stomping his way through the aisle. throwing things as he goes. screaming still. and alex can’t help but laugh loudly.
“yeah, oh. you were pretty into that for a straight girl.”
“um -” alex feels her face heating up and she doesnt know what to say, how to move, to say she’s not gay. because she’s not right?
“i see. how about this…” the brunette raises an eyebrow and alex feels herself listening even closer.
“i’m maggie. maggie sawyer. i’m ncpd outside of this bad atmosphere.”
alex tries not to look so disappointed as to where that sentence went.
“i’m alex danvers. alex. i work - um, well, i’m a bio-engineer.”
real smooth, she thinks to herself. she’s never stuttered so easily over that.
“well miss bioengineer who is clearly straight, and in no way gay, whatsoever. how about since my very, very gay date stood me up, and yours seems to be a massive prick, we get out of here and grab something to eat? i know this great place that has veggie burgers and -”
“oh my god, gross.”
“if you had let me finish, and normal ones if you’re going to need that in your system. and we can ignore all of everything else and maybe just get to know each other? on our very, very, very not gay date. hm?”
alex feels her face heat up again, and she can’t help but nod.
“i just saved your ass from city wide humiliation on screen and i have to buy dinner! preposterous.”
“you said your date stood you up, i think you’ll be okay.”
alex is feeling brave, and bold, and butterflies floating in her stomach, and suddenly somewhere it hits her that this is what she wanted out of this date. and maybe, she’ll panic about that later. right now she could really use some food.
“fine then. come on you sneaky little punk who probably makes more than on her what i’m assuming is a scientist salary. let’s get you some food.”
( alex does have a gay panic. she has a panic so hard that she panics in front of maggie, because that’s where she accidentally slept over watching bad netflix. it takes alex a whole three days to come to terms with it. it takes alex and maggie three weeks to admit their dating. )
( it only took them two years to get engaged. at that same baseball stadium, and maggie was nothing if not thorough, and she made sure, that the proposal ended up on the big screen. as a reminder of how they met. )
( alex decides maybe she wont smash the words national city’s kisscam! after all. )
It’s so good that The Sun has taken the time to point out that the rise of the Far Right is A Bad Thing. Thank goodness we have a responsible press that wouldn’t dream of feeding a poisonous atmosphere of racist, xenophobic, Islamophobic hate over a period of months and years because like I said, that would be A Bad Thing.
Anan: We have chosen D-LITE as a representative of “relate-able person”. We’ve asked him how he feels about this and he mumbles “I’m flattered…” in a fading voice. Even so he’s a member of BIGBANG, a group which held multiple of successful dome concerts, and in fact this coming spring he will be an solo artist to be on the same stage!
D: I never came to think that I am a special person. I look for what I lack all the time, and I like to keep doing that. And when I look for them, I can find ALOT (laughs). I accept my small eyes, bow legs and other physical traits, but I would never want to give up on things that I can manage to improve, like the way I sing.
And as for the the things I still lack, my fans, members and staffs fulfill them. So if you call me a relate-able person, it is because of those people (who help me). Especially, the power of the fans is tremendous. There were so many times when I was sick and lost my voice during the concert, and overcame that by looking at the fans’ faces. I believe there’s power that I can’t see with my eyes that I receive from the fans.
A: D-LITE is famous for his “angelic smile” that makes everyone happy. Every time he loosens his face with a smile, the stage and the audience gets closer and closer. He has been beaming during this interview. Seems like he can never be angry but…
D: Of course there are times when I get angry. Things that need to be said even with anger must be said. The first time when I got angry was during D'scover production. Before that, I believed getting emotional won’t solve anything and I was a “yes man” who would accept everything. But after going to hospitals to get my throat checked, the doctors told me “I’m concerned about your mental health than your throat. You should express yourself more.” All of the doctors told me it’s better to let my feeling out, so I decided not to keep everything to myself. When I get mad and make a bad atmosphere, that only last for a bit. Most important is the piece of work that will last forever. I could keep my smile on stage because the staffs who work with me offstage accept my feelings. There may be times I require them patience. It’s the reason why how much the staffs and I can share our ideas and thoughts with each other determine if we can work together or not.
A: What is the difference between business scenes that require to say “no” for a better result, and scenes in a relationship?
D: When I am really in love, I can accept basically anything. But this question: “Me or work. Which is more important?” is a real trouble. There are times when I get short notice work schedule right? And when I get that question it gives me a headache. What do I answer? I say things like “I gotta go to work but my heart is here with you~” and leave (laughs).
A: By the way, you are the only one who doesn’t use SNS in BIGBANG.
D: A while ago, I made an Instagram account just to see what the members are posting. But I ended up not checking at all (laughs) From when I was little I never liked taking pictures or getting pictures taken. While doing things like “Look here~ 3,2,1”, I think “why am I doing this??” I regret that I don’t have a lot of pictures from my childhood because of this, but when I’m moved by the scene, I rather see the scene with my eyes than taking pictures. When I visit places, I don’t really like being satisfied by just taking pics and leave.
A: D-LITE receives lots of love from the fans and staffs, but indeed, BIGBANG members are the ones who he feels the most connected.
D: We each have different personalities and interests. The only thing we have in common is that we each have our own ways of doing (laughs). For the first 5 years of our career, we were so different from each other that we were troubled. But recording ALIVE made our situations change. We came to accept our differences. Our teamwork got better after realizing that we each are puzzle pieces with different shapes that are put together to make one piece. By now, I know what each of them are thinking just by looking at their eyes.
A: Five puzzle pieces are perfectly fit to make BIGBANG. The main key of the teamwork is balancer, D-LITE.
D: SOL-kun and VI are the types who would take the initiative to step forward and get the attention. TOP-san and G-Dragon-san are the types who gets all the eyes even without doing anything. I want to be the person who keeps watching behind them. I don’t want to step forward. I must watch them from behind and do a “traffic control” (laughs)
A: It is a miraculous five piece group.
D: Can it really be sure that the five piece was good, (jokingly pointing at VI on a magazine), or was 4 piece better. I will let everyone decide on that(laughs).
What does D-LITE think about his charms that melts people’s hearts?
Voice : My voice has been my complex. It seems a bit blurred and not clear. It changes it’s mood so I have to pamper it (laughs). But, the happiest moment is when I’m singing. I want to keep singing as long as I can so I keep doing voice trainings, and I learned the vocalization of the “right voice” so there’s no stress to my throat. If I change my singing all of the sudden though, it’s rude for those who loves my current voice.. I better not forget my true traits.
Lips: Is it sexy? I just think they are pink (laughs) I decided to make my nose and lips into an ice tray merchandise because those two are what people can be reminded as me the most. I always take note of new merchandise ideas as they come up. I have too many ideas actually. One thing I I would want to change are my legs. If I could make my bow legs straight, I would be few cm taller. My mom bought me bow legs fixing machine but it didn’t work on me..
Humor: Humor is a big part of me. I’d be so glad if I can make the bright atmosphere and make people happy. I loved to make the classmates laugh at school. But when I was at home, I never talked. My parents were strict and my grades weren’t well so I remained silent (laughs) My sister had good grades unlike me. She would be frustrated just by missing a single problem on an exam. I had no words to say…
Summary: Your friendship was like a tree, beautiful and brilliant but sometimes you wanted more - you wanted a garden. But you were scared that if it ever happened, everything you had would wither and die. And then you would have nothing.
CAVEATS: Some high-level hostile mobs very far off to the southeast
NOTES: Bad service, bad food, bad atmosphere. At least it’s hard to ruin the relaxing soak a hot spring can give you. Now all you have to do is drown out the screaming of all these children, who are having a blast, because children have no taste.
Great place for a guild getaway! Those rubes you have to herd around on missions don’t have taste either.
I was in the middle of a grocery store
one monday night, after work
grocery shopping, list:
chocolate milk, promised land, (treat yo self 2011)
a 50mg Quetipine prescription to help me sleep, it doesn’t
help me dream
I get so close I can taste them
in the middle of the grocery store
I finally realize
I am a writer, a poet
it’s one of my only dreams
I make true every day
I can smell them all around me now
dreams of others taste like moon dust
some bitter, some sweet, it depends on
preparation methods and just a dash
of luck, perseverance
a healthy amount of insanity.
I watch them fill up their carts
tasting bitter work lives
smelling the sweet aroma
of an unbroken family
we make big moon wishes and
she rains her rocks down on us
hoping they don’t disentegrate
in the atmosphere of
bad fortunes, tired feet
Some of us forget the sweetness
and we decide moon dust
isn’t really for us or
My people, fuck shooting stars
pray to the moon for
a sweet second helping
of what you can be
something to sprinkle on your paycheck,
sprinkle some on those who forgot
how to sleep
Most importantly, sprinkle some
on your child’s forehead
so at least a few of us
That Got Away: A Criminal Minds Fan-fiction Part 3
Inspiration: Katy Perry’s The One That Got Away Kings of Leon’s Use Somebody
Rating: Teen? Setting: Season 4 Featuring: Spencer x Reader
A/N: I needed a little more inspiration to keep the story rolling, sorry it took longer between parts 2 and 3. I love writing these flashbacks, hope you like reading them too! xoxo Stu
After your meeting with the lawyer was over, you headed over to the funeral home that your dad had indicated in the will. You weren’t sure when he had made his arrangements, but you were extremely grateful he had. The staunch mortician greeted you with a cool handshake, you sat down before the intimidating wooden desk. You knew you could have waited for this meeting until the following day, after meeting with the school, the groundskeepers, whomever you were going to have to coordinate with. You half-listened to your father’s wishes, realizing he had set this up years ago, probably not long after your mum had passed.
You thanked the man, rising to leave before was necessary. You headed to your rental car in the side parking lot. You sat in the driver’s seat and let the radio play:
I’ve been roaming around
Always looking down at all I see
Painted faces, fill the places I can’t reach
You know that I could use somebody
You cry into the steering wheel as the song fades and the D.J. drones on about traffic. After a commercial break you pull yourself out of your grief and pick up your phone.
“This is Dr. Reid.”
You sniffle into the phone, “Spencer?”
“Y/N/N?” Spencer paused. “How are you doing?”
“Frankly? Crappy.” You bark out a clipped laugh. “Listen, I didn’t read your letter, yet. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye and I know that’s what it was.”
Silence answers you. “I didn’t want to say it either,” Spencer finally acknowledged, “I could barely write it, Y/N.”
You rest your head back, cherishing his tortured voice on the other end of the line. “Spencer, I know you are working, but is there anyway?” You exhale, “Is there anyway we can forget the letter until after the funeral and after you get this bastard?”
“Y/N, do you think that is a good idea?” Spencer’s voice was calculated.
“There are no good ideas in my head right now,” You whisper to yourself more than to him, “I just know that being with you, now, is finishing something that I didn’t know needed an ending.”
“I will be here until the funeral, if not longer, Y/N,” Spencer sighed. “But I will be working up until we catch the unsub. I owe it to your dad.”
You nod, holding the tears back again. “Thanks, Sir-sir. For everything.”
“Don’t thank me until he’s in cuffs, Y/N.” Spencer retorted determinedly. “Call me if anything or anyone crosses your mind, alright?”
“You got it.”
Used to steal your parents’ liquor
And climb to the roof
Talk about our future
Like we had a clue
Never planned that one day
I’d be losing you
It had been a week since you and Spencer had kissed in your bedroom. You hadn’t seen him or heard from him. You were pretty sure you had lost a friend over trying to get some summer lovin’. You were also rational, this was something that happened a lot that summer. You were trying not to overthink things, Spencer was not like other guys; he would be back over on his bike in no time. You hoped.
Your dad was having a party for people from the school, celebrating a new building or renaming a building. You were not interested, therefore the specifics filtered through your memory. There were waiters and caterers and bartenders all over the house, the yard, the pool deck. You wore a white, Grecian style, backless dress, a present from your aunt for graduating last year. You had braided your hair so that the heat wouldn’t make it stick to your face. You felt like Helen of Troy, with all the compliments from your father’s colleagues. You made small talk with professors and the few students in attendance, like most events you were out of place.
After an hour of mingling, you found your dad, talking to some British guy about the tech revolution. There were a few other people in the circle, most you didn’t know. You did recognize Olivia Madison who was a newer graduate student, Dr. James from UCLA and ungainly standing with a wine glass in his hand was Spencer. He had worn his glasses and had a real tuxedo on. He visibly shook when you caught his eye. You were embarrassed and confused, but his reaction was uncalled for. You nudged your head toward the backdoor, he squinted at you.
“Dad, I am going to borrow Dr. Reid for a moment.” You said, interrupting the entire conversation flow.
“Oh, yes, alright, Y/N/N.” Your dad chuckled. “Don’t hurt him, sweetheart.” He teased as you tugged Spencer’s free arm. The crowd laughed at the unceremonious fleeing of the pair of teenagers.
“What do you want, Y/N?” Spencer stage whispered at you as you pulled him into the kitchen door. He was trying to be cavalier, since he was here as faculty and you were just some professor’s daughter. You were frustrated that he was acting this way, especially since it was just you and the waitstaff inside.
“What do I want?!” You practically shout, a mirthless laugh escaping your astonished face. “I want you to look at me and tell me why you haven’t called me, Spencer!”