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The Murder In My Backyard

by reddit user Pippinacious

I’ll be posting new, different stories on my personal blog, please be sure to follow @sixpenceeeblog

There was no love at first sight, no stomach fluttering feeling of “This is the one!”, just the realization that this was the best my budget could get me. My realtor, already frustrated with how many times I’d said no to other places, watched anxiously over my shoulder as I signed the papers, as if she was afraid I’d back out at the last minute, and just like that, I was the less-than-proud owner of a decades old house and all the issues that came with it.

Still, I told myself as I was handed the keys, it was better than continuing to live with my all too recent ex-husband.

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Moving Day

(Creative title, I know) A WolfStarBucks (Remus/Sirius/James) fic. 

This is for @protectnevillelongbottom

Prompt: Move in day! They finally find a house that can suit them. Sirius and James bicker about how the spare bedroom will be decorated while Remus actually does all the work with the rest of the house.

“Maroon?! You can’t paint a room maroon James!”

“Why can’t I? I’ve seen pictures of rooms that are this color and they look fantastic! I’m painting it maroon and tomorrow, I’m buying gold bed stuff and curtains.”

“Maroon and gold?! Do you ever plan to grow up James? Why don’t you just call it the Gryffindor room!”

The bickering voices of James and Sirius floated down the stairs to Remus. He looked up the stairs, and had a brief internal debate with himself on whether or not he should intervene. Then he looked back at the multitude of boxes still stacked in the entry way and pushed haphazardly against walls. He had been working on the kitchen -with assurances from Sirius and James that they would unpack and organize their bedroom. They had steadily hauled and unpacked boxes in the large bedroom for 15 minutes. A record really. Remus was surprised his partners hadn’t gotten distracted before that.

GREEN!!! Please tell me you’re joking Pads! We can’t paint the guest room green! What if Lils and Marley end up staying the night? We can’t put them in a green room!” James’ loud and incredulous voice floated down the stairs as Remus made his way through another box. He carefully put each glass in its place, organized each drawer to his liking, and pretended like it wouldn’t all be messed up by tomorrow afternoon because neither James or Sirius cared about proper placement. Something Remus found rather ironic given their ‘proper’ up-bringing.

The words, “DON’T YOU DARE!” followed by the sounds of scuffling and crashing made Remus roll his eyes and look sadly at the half finished box in front of him. Another crash (one that sounded too much like a body hitting drywall) had Remus rushing up the stairs.

“Will you two….” Remus trailed off. There, wrestling on the floor, were his partners. Somehow Sirius’ shirt had come off and James was in his boxers. Remus knew for a fact both had been fully dressed when they came down for the last box. Remus considered breaking them up, for about a second. They weren’t really hurting each other. It was mostly a bunch of rolling around, grabbing, and occasional hair pulling.

Remus bit his lip. He should really break this up. Really. They needed to finish un-packing. It was their first day in their brand new house. The one with the big backyard that bordered on a small wooded area. It had a bedroom large enough to hold their humongous bed -one they had to special order so the three of them could fit comfortably- and three bathrooms. Not to mention the giant tub in the master bedroom and the rather large shower with multiple shower heads. All features Remus was excited to use.

Something they wouldn’t be able to do until they finished un-packing.

Remus sighed and finally stepped in. “Alright you two. Break it up.” It took some work, but Remus finally managed to separate the men. Two men that looked a lot like they had been doing another kind of horizontal wrestling. Remus had to physically stop himself from looking at what he knew would be standing proud below James’ waist. The bulge Sirius was sporting was almost as hard to ignore.

“He started it.” James said and pointed an accusing finger at Sirius. The man in question smirked and dipped his head, looking out at them both from behind a curtain of soft black hair.

“You wanted me to start it.” Sirius said, his voice taking on a deeper timbre than usual.

“Hmmm… Maybe.” James licked his lips and Remus had to work at controlling his breathing. In the middle of a brief fantasy where he stripped both men of their clothes and they all rolled around on the floor, Remus saw Sirius look wide-eyed at him, then wink at James.

“Oh! You two! This was a set up!” Suddenly the missing clothing made sense. His horny partners had staged the whole thing to get him up here and all hot and bothered. When James grinned and ran a hand through his hair (showing off biceps that he knew made Remus weak) and Sirius shrugged with mischief in his eyes, Remus narrowed his eyes.

“No. I refuse to give in. We need to un-pack.” When both men pouted, Remus sighed and took pity on them. “IF, big if, you two manage to finish setting up the bedroom and bathroom, and you both behave like good boys, we can try out that shower later.” Remus winked and turned to walk out. He made it to the door before turning around, “Oh, and we’re painting the room blue.”

He chuckled at the groans that followed him back down the stairs.

@chiseplushie, @worthfull1, @moonnott, @m1sc1efmanaged, @sableunstable, @indiebluecrown @thewerewolfandthepunkrocker, @i-am-obsessed-with-many-things, @henriasownbinder, @siriuslyorionwicked @dramioneandicecream… um… I feel sure I’m forgetting people. Sorry if I am! 

4

Day 28 - Red.

Barney with Dot - who I mainly just call The Little Red Hen & who ought to be renamed Ginger - after the character in the film Chicken Run. Little Red Hen is the peskiest pesk of a pesky hen I’ve ever met. She’s soo naughty - even by chicken standards!

Most hens are little terrors, given half the chance. They creep in the house & mess on the kitchen floor & try to intimidate the dog & steal his food. If you eat out in the garden, they aggressively beg or hop up & grab bits off the plate if they can. They go through phases of roosting in random flower pots, behind the shed & under garden furniture (you try finding a black hen sleeping on soil inside a large flower pot at night), so you have to send the collie to search, flush them out & herd them into their safe (fox-proof) hen house. They also like laying eggs in ridiculous places from time to time - buckets are a favourite spot. They destroy everything. Garden plants are eaten, ripped apart, or sat on - stripped of their leaves, uprooted & shredded, soil & gravel are dug up & scattered all over the patio.

You think you’ve fenced them in (they have ½ the garden), then go out 10 minutes later to see they’ve found a teeny gap under the fence, or worked out how to get over the top & they’re strutting about destroying yet more stuff, evil glint of humour in their hennie eyes. Occasionally, they magically appear in the neighbour’s garden & have to be recaptured. At which point, despite being tamed, they start racing around like you’re going to wring their silly hennie necks & put them in the oven. Unlikely as I’m a vegetarian & while the dog & cat do eat meat, the our own chickens are off-limits!

The Little Red Hen is the craftiest we’ve ever had. We’ve currently corralled her, but no doubt she’s plotting an ingenious escape plan! She’s sweet though - used to be really shy but now comes when called, jumps in the air to take treats from my hand, evens hop on my lap occasionally…

(bottom 2 shots: Little Red Hen tackles spaghetti! Hens LOVE spaghetti *worms* & get it for a treat - I even cooked them up a pan for their Christmas dinner last year!)

The Murder In My Backyard


There was no love at first sight, no stomach fluttering feeling of “This is the one!”, just the realization that this was the best my budget could get me. My realtor, already frustrated with how many times I’d said no to other places, watched anxiously over my shoulder as I signed the papers, as if she was afraid I’d back out at the last minute, and just like that, I was the less-than-proud owner of a decades old house and all the issues that came with it.

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My house backyard borders an elementary school playground. One of the teachers yelled “it’s time to go inside” and a small child replied “shut up” so all I can imagine is Dana playing outside and Guzma yelling “time to come inside, kiddo” and Dana being like “shut up I aint done out here.”

How fast do you think she’d be placed in time out?

anonymous asked:

Hi, I'm not actually on Tumblr but I just finished reading your baker Derek fic and I super loved it! I saw that you're taking prompts so I'm hoping that you'll be able to fill my request for kid Derek being super taken with kid Stiles. And their interactions. I also wouldn't say no to seeing how it played out as they grew up. Please and thank you! 💜💜

Hey Nonnie! I hope you like this. I find kid!fic really hard to write. So this is my take on how they met as kids. I hope you like it. :D

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He’s so bored.

The most bored-est he’s ever been in his whole entire life.

And that’s saying something. After all, Cora likes the Teletubbies and he thought nothing could be boring-er than that.

Turns out he was wrong. His Mom has taken Laura and Cora out, (one to soccer practice and the other to a friend’s birthday party.)

His Dad is upstairs trying to fix a busted pipe.

Derek’s spent the last half hour skulking round the house and almost wishing his sisters were back.

He slouches into the den and turns on the TV. There’s nothing on, except boring cartoons that he’s seen before. He slouches out again, leaving the TV blaring.

None of the board games he has are any good without someone to play with.

He doesn’t want to read a book or do coloring in.

He sighs loudly.

Sometimes life is so hard

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Summer Nights Part 2: Temporary Home

Story Summary: Lucy is just a regular young teenager, minding her own business and going about her day when suddenly her life is changed forever by a boy. The twist? They don’t exactly meet under normal circumstances, unless you count falling out of the sky one hot, July night as “normal”… and Lucy certainly doesn’t. 

  • Chapter Summary: the one with the treehouse and a matchbox 

The first time she saw him eat fire, she screamed.

It was late, and the moon had finally come out from behind the clouds so that Lucy could have some light besides the boy’s mysterious flames. She was pedaling again, though this time at a much more Plue-friendly speed as she rode along the well-worn path towards home.

She could hear his gruff grunts behind her. “Ouch,” he hissed. “Could you please drive this thing a little smoother?”

I have an alien in my red wagon, she thought to herself, shaking her head in wonder as the past hour’s events began to catch up with her. A real live it-fell-from-the-sky alien.

And he could breathe fire.

“Sorry,” she said, not sounding very sorry at all. “But no pants means no riding on the handlebars. It’s like an Earth rule.”

He groaned. “But I’m dying back here. You saw me back there, I get motion sick real easy!”

“Another reason why you’re behind me instead of in front,” she laughed, and after thinking about it, added, “But if you do get sick, please aim over the side of the wagon. I’m sort of fond of that telescope you’re sitting on.”

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