Okay but DAO modern, semi-real-world AU
where, instead of walking and camping, the warden and their
companions are driving across Fereldan (several times, as the game
usually works out).
Flemmeth gives you a ride to Lothering,
but after that she insists on keeping the car she and Morrigan share
for herself, and the persuasion check to talk her out of it is
impossible. After you kill the bandits, you can just take one of
their cars. You start out in five-seater that’s in *decent*
condition, making it the best of all the choices. (Who gets to sit up
front and who has to share the backseat with Dog?) Once you get to
Redcliffe, though, Teagan will offer you his 8-seater chevy. He
mostly uses it for hunting, so you don’t have to worry about it if
you get blood on the seats or if Dog sheds everywhere.
Is your warden a careful driver?
(Morrigan disapproves.) A reckless one? (Wynne disapproves.) Always
five miles over the speed limit? (Sten disapproves.) Does Mahariel
know how to drive at all, or does only the Keeper (if even) learn how
to drive, since the Dalish have no need to travel to shemlen cities
and use shemlen roads? Does your warden drive all the time, some of
the time, or never? How does your warden settle the inevitable
argument between Alistair and Morrigan about which of them gets to
Alistair constantly wants to play
road-trip games. (“My grandmother went to Kirkwall and she
packed…” and of course Alistair will make Sten play I-Spy with
him at some point.) Morrigan finds road-trip games extremely
annoying, so unless you put a stop to them (netting disapproval from
Alistair and whomever he was playing with), she disapproves and pulls
out her MP3-player and becomes impossible to communicate with the for
the rest of the trip. Wynne does crossword puzzles, and when she
can’t figure out a word, she’ll ask you about it, giving you approval
if you can figure it out. Sten mostly stares out the window silently.
Oghren sleeps, and snores loudly. Leliana reads in the car a
lot, but if you don’t remind her to stop every now and then, she’ll get motion-sick and make you stop the van for a little while.
Zevran is easily bored and asks “Are we there yet?” a
lot. Loghain is THE WORST back-seat driver, but he remembers long
road trips when Anora was little, so he’s good at soothing Zevran’s boredom.
There is an ambush waiting for you at
every gas station. All of them. Every single one. A pit of dread
grows in your stomach as the gauge nears E. Does your warden start
trying to siphon gas from innocent cars at night, to avoid the gas
stations? Nice try, but you get ambushed while siphoning gas.
And the most important question of all:
Who controls the music? Is your warden dictator of the music? Is
there a schedule? Or does your warden wield the stereo like a
political weapon? Why spend money on gifts when saying “Zevran gets
to pick the music from here to Orzammar,” nets you +15 approval
(though varying degrees of disapproval from other party members,
depending on how much they hate Zev’s music) and is free?
But consider carefully. Morrigan knows
all the words to every Evanescence song. Sten ONLY listens to
classical. Zevran has a surprising affinity for Taylor Swift.
Leliana’s tastes are all over the place and more than half of her
music is in Orlesian, but she will INSIST you sing along with her.
Oghren likes heavy metal, but he won’t pay attention and Zevran will
change it on him after five minutes. Loghain doesn’t believe that
anyone has made decent music since Elvis died (and Maker help you if
Leliana plays Orlesian music when he’s in the car). Wynne prefers to
keep the radio off and make everyone talk to each other. Alistair is
all alternative rock, all the time.
What song was on the radio when your
warden and your chosen LI got busy in the backseat for the first
time? When you stopped to sleep for the night (because not everyone
can sleep in the car), what song did Leliana find on the radio and
beg you to dance to with her? Did you do it?
Everyone has a smart phone and there is
only one charger in the car. Managing this will require all of your
warden’s political skill.