back-lane

  • me: hey
  • bias: *exists*
  • me: aww
  • biaswrecker: sup
  • me: bOI U BETTER BACK INTO UR OWN LANE B4 I MAKE U
  • Me: *Sees a couple pictures of Michael in Cancun*
  • Me: YES YES YES YES YES
  • Me: *Scrolls further*
  • Me: *Comes across Michael/Crystal pictures*
  • Me: *Looks to the heavens*
  • Me: This is punishment for being a thirsty hoe and wanting more pictures, ain't it?
  • God: Yes.
~Guys, guuuys...

I’ve just learnt that Ben Affleck:

- has taught himself Arabic

- speaks Spanish and French too

- is so good at doing impressions that when he did one to Morgan Freeman, it was so accurate Freeman told him, “You ever do that again, I’ll kill you”

- won $356,000 by winning the California State Poker Championships in June 2004 - defeating some of the best poker players in the world in the process

- filmed four movies simultaneously in 2001: Pearl Harbor, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Changing Lanes, and The Sum of All Fears 

- began an intense two-hour a day workout regime the day after he was cast as Batman

- received a lifetime ban from playing blackjack at the Las Vegas’ Hard Rock Casino due to his ‘counting cards’ skills


Which tells me:

1. He’s fucking smart. I mean, he can pick up/learn languages pretty well (one of which is Arabic, Damian are you listening and he majored in Middle Eastern Affairs in college) and he is a boss at poker/blackjack.

2. He’s a workaholic. Look, I’ve never made a film (or even a short video) in my entire life, but he did 4 in one year at the same time and I bet he’s done similar workloads throughout his career. Also, see: two-hour a day workout regime for more evidence.

3. He can do good enough impressions to freak the fuck out of God™.


Ergo

= Ben Affleck is well on his way to being Ultimate Batman

All Hail the mighty Bat!

Originally posted by ageofsuperheroes

(edit: someone didn’t like my previous gif-use due to literal-Superman-bashing, and I agreed. Sorry, I didn’t see Supes little face on the wee gif-screen. Here’s some batfleck just being the best Bat he can)

ignore me creepy internet researching the fuck out of him to get my hands on this info. i needed it to defend myself from absolutely no one. fucking fight me

My telekinetic middle finger.

Many moons ago, on a freeway. Construction zone, two lanes, Posted ~50mph with Jersey barriers instead of shoulders. The fast lane was backed up and hte slow lane was pretty clear but I was in the slow lane doing the posted limit (recently got a warning for speed, so still in that post-pull-paranoia phase).

There was a Miata in the distance behind me trying to get ahead by driving quickly up the slow lane. When he finally caught up with me he was apparently unhappy that I was the reason he couldn’t continue his fast dash down the slow lane.

So of course, he’s tailgating me, honking and waving his middle finger at me. I ignored him. As the traffic cleared in the fast lane on my left he went to pass me but first he drove right next to me with his window open yelling at me.

I had been ignoring him all this time, but he finally earned the middle finger at this point. So he got it.

Here’s the bit I don’t fully understand… The extent of my petty revenge was supposed to be a petty hand gesture, but he did this ridiculous double-take thing when he saw my finger as if he was trying to emphasize how insulted he was. I mean, his whole body jerked like he was just been tazed. I when I say; “His whole body”, I include his left arm which was on the steering wheel…

His ‘jerk’ movement caused him to jerk his steering wheel to the left, which caused him to suddenly steer out his lane and brush the jersey barrier that was there instead of the shoulder.

His car bounced up on the left side and then back down again, leaving a big black smear of tire on the bottom of the barrier, a big red smear of scraped fender & door paint towards the top of the barrier (and likely a big brown smear in his boxers too).

Understandably, this was all my fault, and he followed me for a few miles trying to get me to stop. I stopped and gave him a chance to talk, but I stopped outside the police station so he just kept driving.

For the rest of that construction season I would see that big red smear every night on my way home from work, and I would giggle to myself.