back when we were young

I was recently rewatching Steven’s Dream, and something struck me. When Greg was talking to Steven about Rose Quartz he says, and I quote, “We both made a lot of mistakes when we were young. I thought disco was coming back; she started a war.”

Mistakes. I do believe this is the only time that anybody has ever said that Rose starting the war was a mistake. All previous descriptions of the war, from the Crystal Gems, had been as something that was necessary to save both the Earth and allow gems freedom to exist as they wanted to exist.

But Greg calls it a mistake. And Greg is the person that Rose has allowed herself to show more of her honest self to. Was starting the war necessary? Could there have been a way for gems and Earth life to coexist? Did Rose doubt that she had done the right thing?

And sure, maybe it was just a setup for the joke juxtaposing disco and a war. But I can’t help but feel it means something a bit more.

"looks on"

our heels were worn, the trail seemed tired, tired of us, tired of the sun beating down its back, tired, just plain tired ; the whole solar system looks on over us and it felt to us like it was plotting against us somehow, some way, but we were all going insane in our own way and knew that in the end the stars above, and all the planets, ice, and rock, were just indifferent.

we were all looking for a way out, we were looking for tomorrow, we were looking for hope, hope that seemed to have left us a long long while ago, back when we were still young enough to dream without any fear ; but now it was too late for fairytales, now it was time for hard work and long days spent waiting for the night to come.

music found its way into our ears and the desert didn’t seem as large and vast anymore, maybe we were all just mad, mad without any water, mad with too much sun on our eyebrows, maybe ; but the farther we walked the clearer the air seemed to get, and maybe the horizon was just a projection of our own inner crazy but we didn’t care. we walked for long enough and we were tired and we realized how precious each and every step was.

maybe fairy tales still mattered. maybe we’d become stories one day. maybe.

When we were young, we dreamed of high kicks, but never imagined the pain.

When we were young, we dreamed of perfect rhythms, but never imagined the late night drills.

When we were young, we dreamed of straight backs, but never imagined sweaty pre-dawn sit ups.

When we were young, we dreamed of flying, but never imagined the price of landing.

When we were young, we dreamed of smiling atop a podium, but never imagined the tears that led the way.

We still dream of being champions, but can’t imagine, don’t realise, that we already are.

—  I sat on the train and made myself tear up writing this. It’s not oireachtas season for me, but this one goes out to all of you. X
I can see it in their body language. Boys think that when I laugh at their jokes there is some underlying meaning. They don’t realize that I laugh at everything because it’s all I can do lately to hold it together… It’s just, I don’t intend on falling again any time soon. I refuse to let anyone in again like I did with you.
—  Nothing


My Fics (updated)

Lost Hearts (OT4) 

Ashton, Luke, Calum and Michael live in four different worlds in high school and each one of them is in love with someone who loves someone else. This can’t possibly end well…or can it?

Catch Me If You Can (Clemmings) 

Luke was a Professional Motocross racer at the height of his career until a horrible crash put him out for the season. His family moves him to California where he thinks he will be able to just forget about his past but unfortunately it follows him there. Luke ends up meeting people there that slowly begin to bring him back to the thing that he was born to do.

When We Were Young (Clemmings) 

Luke’s older brother Ashton bullies him and even though Michael is one of Ashton’s best friends he is always there to be Luke’s protector

Truth Or Consequence (Clemmings) 

A game of Truth or Dare ends up causing certain feelings to surface that neither Luke or Michael were expecting 

The Best Kind Of Trouble (Clemmings) 

After Michael is sent to a strict Preparatory school he meets the school troublemaker, Luke Hemmings, and his world begins to change

All I Ever Needed Was You (Clemmings) 

Michael moves away after being friends with Luke for years and when he comes back a year later they realize how much they really needed each other

I’m All Yours Baby (Mashton) 

After witnessing Ashton coming out a room with some girl at a party Michael runs off when it becomes too much for him and ends up pouring out all his feelings for Ashton. (Extra chapter for my fic It Was Always You)

What’s Mine Is Yours (Lashton, Malum, OT4)

Calum and Michael persuade Ashton into having sex with Luke (Epilogue for my fic It Was Always You)

It Was Always You (Cake and side Mashton) 

Everyone wants Calum Hood and Luke can have him just as long as it’s on Calum’s terms. Thing’s take a turn for the worst when Luke begins to push Calum away, fed up with the way he treats him, and Calum begins to realize how much he really needs Luke in his life after all

Punishment At Its Finest (Clemmings,Cashton,OT4) 

Basically this is just The Breakfast club except this story ends in them all having sex in the back of the library

Lust For Friends (Clemmings) 

After Luke walks in on Michael masturbating it ends up consuming his thoughts a lot more than he ever would have imagined

All Of The Stars (Clemmings) 

Michael and Calum are best friends who aren’t always so nice to Ashton. After Luke moves into their town he befriends Ashton then develops a crush on Michael and everything begins to change

You Saved Me (Lashton) 

After a boy from school causes harm to Luke Ashton’s protective instincts kick in and all he wants to do is make sure Luke feels safe and loved

Luv You Down (Clemmings) 

Luke sees that Michael has been feeling down so he does a few things to cheer him up

Who are you now? Are you still the same? Or did you change somehow? What do you do At this very moment when I think of you? And when I'm looking back How we were young and stupid Do you remember that? No matter how I fight it Can't deny it Just can't let you go

It’s a song don’t lose your shit. 😀

When you come back, my straightened hair and pressed dress fool you into thinking you love me again

(but you don’t. You are just staring open-mouthed at the adult version of the girl you loved and wondering why her hand isn’t yours to hold.)

We sit in a coffee shop and my pretty lipsticked mouth hurls every dirty word I know at you

(but it still doesn’t sound like hatred. It sounds like tired love who has given up looking for a place to lay its head and now is angry at what has kept it up all night. it is a child fighting sleep. everything would be better if it would just give in.)

You are amazed at my straight-backed resolve. When we were young, you were afraid the world would bend me in on myself and you would hear my bones cracking from the next state over

(and now you marvel at my strength. this is the lesson you always wanted to teach and now I have learned it so well there is nothing left to prey on. the teacher hands the student knowledge and the student sharpens it into a knife. you never thought it would be used against you.)

Fortesa Latifi - When You Come Back

After Clementine Von Radics’ Wyoming

He looked like he did two years ago, back when we were young and hopeful and much different. He looked like the boy I fell for, the boy who made me see love as something timeless, though the days of our infatuation were numbered. I’m haunted by a boy who no longer exists.
—  I’m in love with a ghost
One day, you’ll walk down a busy street with a cup of coffee in your hands. You’ll stop at the corner of a store when you notice that the perfume I always used to wear is on display in the window. You’ll take a sip of your slightly sweetened coffee and remember making it for me every time I slept over at your house. You’ll remember our afternoon conversations back when we were young and you had a habit of breaking hearts like clockwork. You’ll wonder where I am and how I’m doing. You’ll think back to all the times you chose girls you had barely known over me. You’ll realize how stupid you were to do so and you’ll wonder if I ever got over you. As you near the bottom of your coffee cup, you’ll think about all the times I told you I loved you and you’ll realize that I meant them. Every single time. You will take your last sip and whisper “I love you too.” You discard the empty cup and walk away with a tart taste in your mouth and a burning in your chest. You can’t drink coffee anymore.
—  Not without tasting me
Sister and brothers

My wife and I have been married for over 20 years and this happened back when we first got married. We were really young (I was 22 and she was 19) and jobs were hard to find and we ended up moving into a bedroom in her mom’s basement. Her two brothers shared another bedroom in the basement and we ended up having a very friendly and open experience. About two weeks into our new living arrangement my wife and I were fucking and we realized someone was outside of the door listening to us. She joked that I should open the door and catch whoever it was so I did. It was her 16 year old brother John and he has his dick out jerking off. He nearly shit when I yanked the door open, but when he saw her laying there naked he just stood there and stared. I invited him to come in and watch rather than stand in the hall and listen. After I climbed back on her and started fucking her she told him to come over next to the bed and started rubbing his dick while I fucked her. I flipped her over doggy-style on purpose just to see if she would suck him once the opportunity presented itself and both he and I were shocked when she did. Not two minutes later he shot his load in her mouth which caused me to shoot off in her pussy. The next day we were going to fuck again and she asked me if I wanted to invite John in again. I did. When me and him walked in she was already on the bed doggy-style. We assumed our positions and went to it. After maybe 3 or 4 minutes she popped his cock out of her mouth and mine out of her pussy, spun around and started sucking my cock and offered her pussy to him which he didn’t hesitate to plow right in. Only a few minutes passed and he came in her. Then she spun back around and I fucked her (my first sloppy seconds) until I came in her too. This went on for about a week until one day her 17 year old brother Robby revealed that John had told him what we had been doing and complained that he was being left out. A few minutes later we were in our room with her on her hands and knees again with John fucking her mouth and Robby fucking her pussy while I sat and watched. After that they fucked her every day and usually more than once a day. Being in the basement was like being in our own private house so the fucking and sucking went on freelywith virtually no risk of being caught by her parents who hardly ever came downstairs.