back to the land

Poor Wizard

Context: The party has just wandered into a ruin that transported them to an enchanted tavern where they all see whatever they desire. They have to roll WIS saves to have the willpower to take any action to leave or discover they’re charmed (think the Lotus Eaters).

The half-orc barbarian is the first to roll high enough to realize something is wrong but can’t figure out how to escape.

Barbarian: “I run out the door again.”

DM (me): “You end up in the back storeroom this time and land on a keg of ale.”

Elf Wizard (knows something is off but can’t roll high enough to act on it): “I’m staring at the orc and wondering why he keeps running in and out of the building.”

Barbarian: “I throw the wizard through the door!”

DM (to wizard): “You get thrown out the door and find yourself falling down the staircase somehow.”

Human Cleric (former thief/assassin trying to reform, completely failed his WIS save and is now very drunk): “I pickpocket the wizard!”

Human Fighter (crossbowman, half-insane and now also drunk): “I shoot the feather in the wizard’s hat!”

-both roll very well and succeed-

Wizard: “That was my only quill…”

Barbarian: “I throw the wizard out the door again but try to hold the door open this time.”

I know the Rapunzel au has been done before but hear me out: Nick as Rapunzel with magic fox tails, that turn his fur into gold. Bellwether steals him away and siphons his magic with an enchanted collar to use for her own political gain and eternal youth, all the while pretending to be a poor protective mom to Nick and tells him all sorts of terrible stories of how cruel people are to foxes and how they’ll only see him as a monster or a tool to be used; that he is much safer in the tower. Nick’s only friend is Finnick, who was cursed by Bellwether for trespassing her lands, and while having initially escaped, is now is trapped in the form of a stuffed elephant toy.

Judy is a fresh royal guard eager to prove her worth and become recognized as a model upholder of the law. Captain Bogo sends her along with Clawhauser to escort the kind Lady Bellwether back to her land (an easy job to get Judy out of his horns). Judy is a bit put out at being assigned a simple mission, but quickly warms up to Bellwether, who was famous for her extraordinary magic which has placed her very high in the king’s favor. While treated as an honored guest, Judy inadvertently stumbles into a dark plot against the kingdom, overhearing some shady sheep muttering about dark magic, a threat against the predator nobility, and a monster locked away in the forest. She quickly aims to warn Lady Bellwether of the terrorist treasonous sheep, but instead gets found and chased away from the scene, into the forbidden forest. With no choice, she climbs the tower, trusting her speed and training are more than enough to defend against whatever dumb beast is trapped up there…

Since I’m the only one in the family who speaks/reads french, Dad keeps sending me texts asking me what certain phrases mean, and he keeps spelling them phonetically XD

On top of that, I need to keep reminding him, “Dad, it’s been nearly four years. Don’t trust my french.” 


fuck you, c.s. lewis: feat. my dorky love for susan pevensie

transcript of the poem:
Queen Susan the Gentle lived for decades in a magical land and
Went back to a world at war and a twelve year old body and
Was a little girl helpless in a country that looked only at men for its leaders.

Queen Susan the Gentle grew hard, and strong, for
She had years of her life to catch up on and
She had thoughts too big for her head.

Queen Susan the Gentle was beautiful and
When she looked in the mirror she saw with eyes that
Had learned to gaze beyond the pressures of either world;
She saw her beauty.

Queen Susan the Gentle was clever and lovely and
Queen Susan the Gentle grew and she was drawn to
Beautiful things like herself.

Queen Susan the Gentle had lived through wars with bows and arrows and
Wars with guns and bombs and
She found herself in peacetime and with no responsibilities and
With more knowledge than she could ever use but time enough to try.

Queen Susan the Gentle turned away from the snarling jaws of
A god of death who ripped her family from her
A magical lion who was so threatened by female sexuality that
He could not stand the thought of her happiness.

Queen Susan the Gentle fell from Heaven and
Loved every second of the falling.

Susan Pevensie painted her fingernails and her lips red like blood
And wore it like armour, like war paint,
And she carried a gun in her purse that was just enough used to
Scare away those who felt the way she fell into bed with
Anyone she felt like
Meant they had a right to touch her.

Susan Pevensie lived for decades more and
Lived her life more fully than she had been able to the first time round and
If it was full of sin and depravity then
No matter.

Susan Pevensie was not Gentle
But she was happy.


get to know me: favorite tv shows ≡ outlander

Now this one is about a man out late on a fairy hill on the eve of Samhain who hears the sound of a woman singing sad and plaintive from the very rocks of the hill. "I am a woman of Balnain. The folk have stolen me over again, the stones seemed to say. I stood upon the hill, and wind did rise, and the sound of thunder rolled across the land. I placed my hands upon the tallest stone and traveled to a far, distant land where I lived for a time among strangers who became lovers and friends. But one day, I saw the moon came out and the wind rose once more, so I touched the stones and traveled back to my own land and took up again with the man I had left behind.”

acebeatriz  asked:

Does anyone think about the fact that Obi Wan just showed up at Owen's house and was like, "This is your baby now" without really discussing it with him first?

i’m very invested in obi-wan’s characterization as an asshole. a well-meaning asshole, but an asshole. that’s the best part about obi-wan - he’s a massive dick.

his whole arc is about slowly migrating from pisscouch status to fucklamp status to slightly itchy sweater status, only to get his heart broken and careen back into the land of tom-dickery.

you first meet him as a cold, harsh jedi who looks at a slave kid and thinks, pathetic lifeform. you continue to see him as some who’s constantly putting his foot in his mouth and can’t ever say he appreciates someone; then, flash to ROTS, where he’s capable of it, but it’s three hundred wrong turns past late, now.

like, obi-wan’s the kind of dude who will scream at your burning body, “I LOVED YOU!” and then leave you to burn. that’s cold, no matter what anakin did, that’s an incredibly cold act - not unjustified, but definitely cruel. he raised this kid and was willing to slice of three of his limbs - that’s some harsh shit, dude. he’s an ass, but he’s an ass for the greater good.


Today I have 90 days clean!!! I cannot believe it! I’m alot better off now than I was a few months ago. Thanks to everyone for their support. Just this time last year I was admitted to my first inpatient rehab program after attempting to cut my wrists. I relapsed shortly after being discharged in November, thinking I could run my own program to stay sober, and that mentality only landed my ass right back in rehab in July. But by the grace of God and the help of Alcoholics Anonymous, I am happy to say that I am working the program the right way now, and I am experiencing all sorts of changes and living life on life’s terms without the need to get high or drunk. It works if you work it!

Hi My Name is Foster and I am powerless over my addictions.

thehumvncondition  asked:

So I just read your Doctor Who/Carmilla head cannon and I love it. I need more doctor who head cannons ☺️

hey! it’s been a long time since that DW/Carmilla AU, and  I must confess that I had to look it up to remember the main idea of it

but the thing is: in “the empty child” (s01e09 - 2005 series aka the episode with that creepy ‘wheres my mommy’ thing) the doctor goes back in time chasing a mysterious cylinder and it ended up landing in a WWII sceneraio.

said cylinder falls somewhere opening a huge hole on the ground, and the doctor has to look around for his companion who disappeared somehow and i mean, what if with this explosion it was capable of waking carmilla from her slumber, and he had never seen something like that, a young girl coming out alive out of a coffin. and the doctor had seen some weird things all around the universe, but that? That was new.

so he helps that confused girl, tries to calms her down but that girl is too confused and scary, she doesnt answer him, she’s sitting on the remains of her coffin, knees on her chest, blood long gone from that box. so he tells her stories instead.

stories about the universe he met in his blue box, planets undiscovered, planets long gone, tells her about good people, about Rose and how brave she was and how they traveled through the stars.

he can’t stay much longer talking to that young girl because he’s looking for Rose, and the environment around them didn’t offer that much security they needed. he bids her good bye and tells her to be safe, and  if sheneeded some inner peace, needed to forget about the terrible people who did that to her, she just had to look up to the sky and see the good in there.

thats why carmilla talks about how horrible the world was/is and likes looking at the stars. she never forgot those kind words from that mysteious man and his blue box.

@avengerjones @grumblingintothevoid @weneedtogirlthehellup and nonnie

okay so the basic thing i’m thinking is that the mermaid character traded her tail for legs after witnessing a girl being thrown off of a pirate ship, and after it becomes clear that her people aren’t going to do anything about it, she decides to commandeer a vessel herself as human (I haven’t decided what she trades for her legs yet, but i don’t think its going to be her voice. her soul maybe? idk)

fast forward a couple of years and she accidentially “frees” the youngest daughter of the king of a nearby kingdom, a girl who was doing the same thing that Ariel (we’re gonna call her that for now) was doing but also to escape being married off. Cue they’re both taken back to dry land and Ariel is hailed as a hero for “rescuing” the princess, but complications arise bc she’s away from the sea and also has a super huge crush on the princess


Being back in town was strange to say the least. The internship she’d worked so hard to get turned out to be good experience, but now that it was ofer she was left without permanent work. She had no choice but to come back. She felt like everyone had moved on, that people had changed. All she could do was thrust herself back into her old world. She hadn’t planned at landing at this party, but hey, why not? It was free liquor.
Indigenous Rising
Citing 1851 Treaty, Water Protectors Establish Road Blockade and Expand Frontline #NoDAPL Camp

Citing 1851 Treaty, Water Protectors Establish Road Blockade and Expand Frontline #NoDAPL Camp

Contact: LaDonna Allard (CSS),, (701) 426-2064
Dallas Goldtooth (IEN),, 708-515-6158
Tara Houska (HTE),, (612) 226-9404
Cody Hall (RWC),, (605) 220-2531

Cannon Ball, ND – This morning, at approximately 8am central, water protectors took back unceded territory affirmed in the 1851 Treaty of Ft. Laramie as sovereign land under the control of the Oceti Sakowin, erecting a frontline camp of several structures and tipis on Dakota Access property, just east of ND state highway 1806. This new established camp is 2.5 miles north of the Cannon Ball River, directly on the proposed path of the Dakota Access Pipeline (DAPL). This site is directly across the road from whereDAPL security dogs attacked water protectors on September 3rd.  

To ensure the protection of this new camp from overtly militarized law enforcement, water protectors have established three road blockades:

  1. North of the Frontline Camp, on Highway 1806
  2. South of the Cannon Ball River, on Highway 1806
  3. And Immediately west of Highway 1806, on county road 134

Police have discharged weapons, using rubber bullets to shoot down drones being used to document the police activity and actions.  

This frontline camp is located on the final three 3 miles of the proposed pipeline route, before it connects with the drill pad that will take the pipeline beneath the Missouri River. Active construction of the Dakota Access pipeline is 2 miles west of this frontline camp. Oceti Sakowin water protectors continue an on-going pledge to halt active construction as frequently as possible.

Mekasi Camp-Horinek, an Oceti Sakowin camp coordinator states, “Today, the Oceti Sakowin has enacted eminent domain on DAPL lands, claiming 1851 treaty rights. This is unceded land. Highway 1806 as of this point is blockaded. We will be occupying this land and staying here until this pipeline is permanently stopped. We need bodies and we need people who are trained in non-violent direct action.  We are still staying non-violent and we are still staying peaceful.”

Joye Braun, Indigenous Environmental Network organizer states, “We have never ceded this land. If DAPL can go through and claim eminent domain on landowners and Native peoples on their own land, then we as sovereign nations can then declare eminent domain on our own aboriginal homeland. We are here to protect the burial sites here. Highway 1806 has become the no surrender line.”

Ladonna Bravebull Allard, Sacred Stone Camp, “We stand for the water, we stand on our treaties, we stand for unci maka- we stand and face the storm.”


Now / Then - A collection of songs that exist in the present and songs that are lost in the past

look at me now - the wild party // now - a little night music // now you know - merrily we roll along // now i have everything - fiddler on the roof // our time now - allegiance // this time - // for now - avenue q // the past is another land - aida // prelude - take me back - dogfight // once we were kings - billy elliot // where did the rock go - school of rock // it all comes back (opening) - fun home // a way back to then - [title of show] // way back in the day - bright star //


For years afterwards the farmers found them –
the wasted young, turning up under their plough blades
as they tended the land back into itself.

A chit of bone, the china plate of a shoulder blade,
the relic of a finger, the blown
and broken bird’s egg of a skull,

all mimicked now in flint, breaking blue in white
across this field where they were told to walk, not run,
towards the wood and its nesting machine guns.

And even now the earth stands sentinel,
reaching back into itself for reminders of what happened
like a wound working a foreign body to the surface of the skin.

This morning, twenty men buried in one long grave,
a broken mosaic of bone linked arm in arm,
their skeletons paused mid dance-macabre

in boots that outlasted them,
their socketed heads tilted back at an angle
and their jaws, those that have them, dropped open.

As if the notes they had sung
have only now, with this unearthing,
slipped from their absent tongues.

—  “Mametz Wood,” by Owen Sheers

This is a collection of moments outlining the relationship of two of my dragons (with bonus interactions from pertinent clan members).

Tarryn + Callana

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a little montage of stan calling mabel sweetie, pumpkin, etc. requested here by angelictactics!