back to land

I just watched this tiny spider knock three mayflies off the wall next to my window, and I can’t help but think this is the same lil stripey guy I saved and scooped out the window the other day, defending our crumbling homestead

anonymous asked:

Do you have any fics that have to do with angry/hate sex?


The Firing Line by thepinupchemist (WIP)

When Steve’s dad is diagnosed with cancer, Steve returns to his childhood home to support his mom – a small town called Gold Cliff, Colorado. Ten years before, he left Gold Cliff behind him, left his no-longer-best-friend Bucky Barnes behind him, with the intention of never seeing him ever again. But Bucky Barnes crash-lands back into his life nonetheless, long-haired and one-armed and haunted, keeping secrets from day one.

Filled with self-loathing and millennial angst, they agree to a mutually beneficial sexual relationship to blow off steam.

Steve should have known better than to think he could ever put Bucky Barnes behind him.

I Know Your Type by emphasisonem

“You don’t know-” the brunet growls, and it sends a frisson of heat through Steve’s body. “The first thing about me.”

Steve opens his mouth to respond, but the words die in his throat as the brunet claims his lips in a fierce kiss. Steve has every intention of pushing him away when his hands reach up to the broad chest before him, but instead he finds himself curling his fingers into the fabric of the other man’s shirt and pulling him closer.

The Beautiful Game by neversaydie

“Fuckin’ asshole.” Bucky grunts, shoving his thigh higher for Steve to rub off against and half hoping it hurts. “Pain in my ass.”

“Can arrange that.” Steve squeezes his ass through his shorts and Bucky swallows the embarrassing moan that tries to slip out. The aborted sound makes his teammate smirk, and Bucky could seriously punch him in the face right now. “S'what I thought. You need a dick in you, that’s why you’re all over the fuckin’ place. Slut.”

anonymous asked:

Dr. Tony who has 5-7 phds and answers rhetorical questions around the house with science facts, and does math in his head and shocks listeners, etc? Please?

“Oh my god, you’re totally going to get murdered by Natasha.”

“Oh ye of little faith,” Clint scoffed at Tony, shooting him a look of scorn before turning back to Steve, who was readying himself on the other side of the room.

Tony rolled his eyes, eyes darting across the living room for a second before landing back on Clint, this time with a slightly elevated eyebrow. “There is an 84% chance Natasha will injure you in some serious way once she realises you are using her favourite and most expensive imported Russian chocolates in order to make Steve do tricks like some sort of house-trained labrador- which I guess he is, but still- you’re gonna get hurt because of it, so I’d decide right now if you think it’s worth it.”

This time, Clint looked  a little surprised. “What makes you say 84%? Am I missing something? Has she just been given a new supply of weaponry?”

“No,” Tony shrugged, “I’m just bomb at math.”

Steve looked carefully at him, before squinting a little. “Okay. Give me your ‘bomb’ math, then. I can see like, seven different ways this could go wrong, but I still don’t see how you can turn that into a mathematical equation.”

Again, Tony shrugged, gesturing vaguely around him. “How the hell should I know? The author who’s writing my character right now can’t do maths for shit.  She doesn’t even spell it as ‘math’. Who the fuck spells math without an ‘s’? Americans, that’s who. Anyway- we’re derailing from the point,” Tony waved a hand across his face, looking a little put out as he stared at the roof. “This whole ‘inability to do anything other than basic times-tables’ thing the author has going on makes it slightly annoying when she’s trying to bring me, a character who is, y’know, a mathematical genius, to life. All I know is that I have 5-7 phd’s according to an ask she got on tumblr. Which makes me pretty fucking smart. Now trust me, if I say you’ve got an 84% chance of grievous injury, then you’ve got an 84% chance of grievous injury. Have fun avoiding Natasha’s wrath,” Tony waved them off, turning back to his tablet with a little smile on his face.

Steve and Clint watched him go, confusion written on their faces. “How long do you think Tony hasn’t slept for this time?” Clint asked. “ ‘the author?’ Is he on drugs?”

Steve shook his head. “I’m pretty sure he’s just sleep-deprived,” he said, before pausing, and turning to look at Clint, eyes wide. “Or maybe that’s what the author wants us to think.”

Clint looked at him, before gasping. “Holy shit. You’re right. Technically, is this breaking the fourth wall?”

Steve looked confused for a moment, before pulling a face. “I only worked out what that meant about four weeks ago. I thought it was exclusive to movies.”

Clint shrugged. Then Steve shrugged. There was shrugging everywhere. Even the author was shrugging. Probably. Steve and clint couldn’t actually see them. They just assumed. (They were correct).

“Hey- shall I go make out with Tony like I tend to do at the end of every story this author writes?” Steve asked suddenly, turning to Clint, who looked pensive for a moment before nodding solemnly. 

“Make sure to get your wires well and truly crossed before-hand though. Don’t want to make it two easy for the both of you.”

“I’ll keep it in mind,” Steve patted him on the back, smiling as he followed Tony’s path.

Clint sighed. “I’m going to get beaten up by Natasha now, aren’t I?” He asked the empty room.

Somewhere in the universe, the author laughed. Then the elevator doors opened, and JARVIS announced Miss Natasha Romanov’s presence.

amydiddle  asked:

I thought of another prompt! First time ever on land for any of the Gucks. (Can be first time alone on land too)

I decided halfway through writing this that Angie never has had the nickname “Banjey” in this AU.  No real reason for it.  Oh, and a bit of background.  @agent-jaselin and I decided that, since merfolk turn into human forms for the purposes of reproduction, they can’t achieve a full human form until after they hit puberty.  They can do some stuff with legs, but it’s not very stable and doesn’t last for long, not to mention that they’re still covered in scales.  So anyways, here’s Fiddleford with his (webbed) hands full, trying to keep his younger siblings from sending out “we aren’t human” vibes at the market.

               “Angie, sweetling, get over here so’s I can fix yer shirt,” Ma MerGucket said. Angie pouted.  Ma, Pa, and their youngest three guppies were in a cave that was dry at low tide, getting the guppies ready for their first solo trip to the closest human town.

               “Why do I need to wear it?” Angie whined.

               “‘Cause humans are weird ‘bout seein’ unclothed bodies,” her ma replied. With a sigh, Angie walked hesitantly over to Ma MerGucket, her rarely used legs wobbly.   Ma MerGucket carefully took Angie’s shirt off, turned it inside out, and put it back on. She looked over her youngest guppy carefully.  “Well, ya look human to me, honey-bun,” Ma MerGucket said.  Angie beamed.

               “What ‘bout me?” Lute asked.  Ma MerGucket looked over at her youngest son.  She smiled.  

               “Perfect,” she said.  Pa MerGucket ruffled thirteen-year-old Lute’s hair proudly.  

               “Now, Fidds, yer goin’ to keep a close eye on yer lil siblin’s, right?” Pa MerGucket asked.  Fresh-faced, eager, and a full sixteen years old, Fiddleford nodded.

               “‘Course, Pa.”

               “And ya won’t leave Main Street.”

               “No, sir,” Fiddleford, Lute, and Angie said together.  

               “You’ll be back ‘fore the tide comes in.”

               “Yes, sir.”

               “And no, I mean no splittin’ off, understand?” Pa MerGucket said firmly.  “There’s folks in the world what hunt merfolk.  They can sniff us out easy and fast.”  His children nodded.  “All right then, guppies.  Seems like it’s time fer yer first trip on yer own.”  He kissed each one on the top of their head.  “Go on, have a grand old time.”


               “Fidds!  Fidds! What is this?” Lute asked, dragging Fiddleford over to a stall at the market.  Lute stumbled a bit, still getting used to using feet.  Fiddleford smiled apologetically at the person manning the stall.

               “It’s bread, Lute.  You’ve seen it ‘fore,” Fiddleford said, lying through his teeth.  Lute frowned.  

               “No I ain’t.”

               “Yes, ya have,” Fiddleford said firmly.  Lute’s eyes widened as he caught onto what his older brother was saying.

               “Oh, uh, right.  Guess I just didn’t recognize it or somethin’,” Lute said.  He smiled weakly.  The person manning the stall, a kindly looking old woman, smiled back.

               “That’s an interesting accent you’ve got there, kiddos.  Where you from?”

               “The oc-” Lute started.

               “Small town, you’ve prob’ly never heard of it,” Fiddleford interrupted. “Our parents gave us permission to spend the afternoon on Main Street while they do business elsewhere.”

               “Ah.  Well, if you’re not from around here, I’d recommend taking your younger brother to the pawn shop.  There’s a lot of interesting things in there for a strapping young lad,” the shopkeeper said.  Lute beamed at the compliment.

               “Thank you, ma’am,” Lute said.  He looked around.  “Where’s Angie?”

               “Miss?  Miss! If you want that, you need to pay for it,” someone shouted.  Fiddleford sighed.

               “She’s prob’ly the one bein’ yelled at.”  The brothers turned around.  Sure enough, Angie was stock-still, staring wide-eyed at the person scolding her.  In her hands, she had a shiny piece of jewelry.

               “But I did,” Angie protested.  The young man (whom she had presumably stolen from) frowned.

               “Shells are not money, miss,” he said, throwing a handful of the aforementioned shells on the ground.  Angie gaped.

               “What?  But-”

               “Sir?  Sir!” Fiddleford said, intervening before his sister could dig herself a deeper hole. The man turned to look at him.


               “Sorry, she’s young, and unfamiliar with the area.  She and my other younger sibling – he’s right here with me – can get a bit out of hand sometimes. Especially when they’re in new sit’ations.  Here.” Fiddleford dug a few pieces of the local human currency out of his bag and handed it over.  The man looked over the money and nodded.

               “All right.”  He looked at Lute, who was clearly the same age as Angie.  “Your younger siblings are twins, huh?”


               “No we-” Lute started.  Fiddleford clapped a hand over Lute’s mouth.

               “Twins are a handful.  My sister had a pair of twins a while back.  I understand it’s easy to lose track of them,” the man said.  “But try to keep a better eye on your younger siblings.”

               “Yessir.  My apologies, sir.”  Fiddleford gestured for Angie to join him.  Once she had walked over (tripping once) he grabbed her hand.  The three of them began to walk down the street quickly.

               “What’d ya get?” Lute asked curiously.  Angie grinned.

               “It’s a pretty necklace.  Thought ‘Lynn might like it.  A present, to celebrate her gettin’ a mate ‘n all.”

               “Aw, that’s nice of ya,” Lute said.  He looked at Fiddleford.  “Can we go to the pawn shop?”


               “I want to go to the pawn shop!” Angie said.  

               “Some lady who sells bread said I should go there,” Lute informed her. Angie’s eyes widened.

               “Now I really want to go there! What’s bread?”  

               “Don’t know,” Lute said with a shrug.

               “It’s a sort of human food.  But we’re not buyin’ bread, and we’re not goin’ to the pawn shop,” Fiddleford said.

               “What?  Why?” Lute and Angie whined together.  Fiddleford pinched the bridge of his nose.

               “You two almost blew our cover!  Stealin’ and- and askin’ ‘bout a food that all humans have seen.  We’re goin’ home.”

               “No,” Lute and Angie complained.

               “Yes,” Fiddleford said firmly.  He took a breath.  “It ain’t yer fault.  Yer just not ready to be ‘round so many humans yet.  Ya don’t know how the culture works.  We’ll have Ma give ya some more lessons, and we can go back in a few months.”

               “To the pawn shop?” Lute asked.  Fiddleford smiled at his younger brother.

               “Not like it’s goin’ anywhere.”

anonymous asked:

I dunno if this was done before but supposed that the saniwa is always stressed out and one day, they were really in desperate need of help in something (like homework, chores, work, etc.) and the toudans helped her do it. And in joy and gratefulness, she happily thanked them and gave them a kiss on the cheek. How would Ookurikara, Yamanbagiri, Gokotai and Hasebe react to this?

• He briefly freezes up from the surprise. He’ll instantly walk away muttering he doesn’t want to get friendly out of reflex. He has no clue how to feel about it.

• Instantly goes red and probably falls back and lands on his bottom, arms flailing. He’s absolutely thrown and shocked, stumbling over his words. He’s just in shock.

• He also goes red and is shocked but is much less animated about it than Manba. Puts a hand where he was kissed and would question the Saniwa why. He’s kind of happy about it after.

• Surprisingly, he is the most calm reaction. He gets a little flustered and is quick to assure the Saniwa he needs no thanks. That it’s his honour to serve them.

well i think swan prince and i are… if we were ever off, we’re back on, but we’re a little too on

he landed back in new york tonight and texted me to say he’d gotten home okay (as i had asked him to, because i’m a caring person) and at that point i had just been dragged to a gay bar with chris and his friend to watch the finale of rupaul’s drag race (lol) so i told him that was where i was, and he was like “right up your alley then!” and i was like “lol i’m worried what you think my alley is” and he was like “you tell me ;)” and i was like SHUT UP so i made some comment about how it was quite a party even if all the cocktails had stupid names, and i listed a few off and the last one was “hot tranny mess” and he goes “oh, i prefer the more traditional brand of hot mess” and because he’s a fucking PERVERT i was like “yes i imagine you do” and he goes “oh really, creative imaginations can get you in a lot of trouble” and i was like “i suppose i’ll have to be careful” and he said “maybe i have to be careful in case you misinterpret my preference for the traditional hot mess” at which point i was like ok that is a LITTLE overwrought even for you so i just said “don’t worry, i’m always a lady” and he was like “you may have to prove that to me - and i’m always a gentleman rogue” to which i replied “now that i can believe” and he goes “we may need to correct that sometime soon” which WHY WOULD WE CORRECT IT IF YOU JUST SAID IT BUT WHATEVER but i was like “my word, try not to shatter all my illusions” to which he just responded with a bunch of smiley faces and then chris (who had been reading this exchange over my shoulder the whole time) took my phone and was like “as your friend, i’m cutting you off” lmfaoooo

this is why i can’t drink, this happens… i know i shouldn’t lead him on when i know i can’t give him what he wants but… i was just happy he was flirting with me again and hadn’t completely written me off and i know this is going to end in disaster but i’m having a very hard time thinking ahead when it comes to him… this is bad lol

a-small-trebleclef  asked:

Moo, help! I need an expert opinion for my fic. Should I kill off someone or just pretend to, then have them reappear at a critical time? :3



Not only have I used it multiple times in the past, but I intend to continue using it until EVERYONE SEES IT COMING AND NO LONGER TRUSTS ANYTHING I DO.

But like… you gotta do it right. 

Faking a character death is hit or miss. 

Here’s my advice.

The requirements for successfully faking a character death are as follows:

1. Believability

There has to be strong evidence of the character’s death to make the other characters and the readers truly believe that they are dead. If the circumstances surrounding their death are too outrageous, it’s going to be obvious straight from the start that they are still kicking, which in turn, will make their great reveal back into the land of the living fall short.

2. Emotional tension

You gotta make us mourn! The readers AND the other characters. This is a DEATH. One thing that has always irked me about certain movies or shows or books is how EASILY characters can bounce back from the shock of another character’s death. No. There needs to be pain. And suffering. There needs to be realistic reactions. Tears, shock, screaming, denial, desperation. Feel it. If you write a successful death scene, making both the characters and readers truly believe that your poor sucker is dead, then his reappearance will be sweet as sweet can be. But if your death scene falls flat, no one is going to care that he’s dead. And they’re DEFINITELY not going to care when he ends up still being alive.

3. Believability 2.0

Joe’s death can’t just come out of nowhere, and neither can his imminent survival. You can’t have him die in a huge nuclear explosion and then suddenly have him reappear all bright and shiny and new. That’s not believable. How did he survive? That’s too convenient! How cheap! If he gets shot, it needs to be in a part of the body that could very well be a fatal wound, but also treatable. If he falls off of a waterfall, he needs to have hit a few branches on the way to slow his fall and prevent his death upon impact. Make it real, yo.

4. Consequences

Joe has to suffer some kind of consequences for his fake death. He and also the other characters. “What do you mean you’re still alive? We spend 7,000$ on your fucking funeral you prick!” *thus begins Joe’s journey to paying off his debt*. Hitting those branches on the way down from the waterfall are going to cause damage! He’s got a broken arm! Six cracked ribs! When he hit the water down below, he would’ve drowned if the current hadn’t dragged him into a fallen tree, where he was caught and remained unconscious until found by a passing fisherman. The reason he didn’t show up immediately was because he wasn’t able to move as he recovered. Or perhaps someone was after him and he had to lay low, unfortunately forcing him to allow his friends to believe he was truly dead. 

So there you have it. My expert opinion. FAKE KILL THE MOTHER FUCKER. But make it believable and emotional. Or else you might as well just kill him for real.

ANYWAY. That’s all I’ve got. I hope I was helpful.

Also, hit me up with the name of your fic so I can give it a little read when I’ve got some down time.

Originally posted by demondetoxmanual

Book 3: The Encounter, Chapters 25-26

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Chapter 25

Visser Three orders the refuelling ship (which I guess I should call the truck ship since Tobias seems to have settled on that terminology, even though it’s annoying me because it’s NOT A TRUCK yes hello I am very pedantic sometimes) to get moving ASAP.  

The ship starts moving upwards.  It’s slow to start because it’s a large heavy ship fighting inertia and gravity. But on the other hand Tobias is tiny and also still clutching the Dracon beam gun he took off the Taxxon in the last chapter.  And he’s been hovering/flying all day carrying fish around and stuff.  So he’s pretty wiped out.

However, he is also pretty determined, given the whole “if you’re gonna take my friends, you’re going down with them” motivation. So when his wings give out he just sort of lands back on the ship and uses his talons to claw his way along its side.  (I…thought he was holding the gun, though?  Maybe he managed a nifty claw-to-mouth transfer while clinging to the side of a moving ship?  Let’s just not question exactly how this is all happening, because it’s a good mental image if you just don’t think about it too closely: wind ruffling Tobias’ feathers while he glares angrily and squeak-drags his claws loudly along the ship, ruining the paint job.)

He makes it to the bridge!  And he fires the Dracon beam through the windshield. With one claw. Look, I don’t know, I’m new here, let’s just assume he’s very agile with those things.  I do enjoy his telepathic cry of “Fry, you worms!” as he does it.  ‘Cause for a moment you think it’s melodramatic, and then you think maybe since he’s a bird he calls things worms?, and then you remember no, the Taxxons basically just are giant worms with a lot of teeth.  It’s an insult with layers.

The Dracon beam slices through the windshield, through a Taxxon, and through a bunch of instrument panels and such.  Apparently no one built the ship to withstand kamikaze hawk attack, as it pretty much rolls over and goes completely out of control.  Several of the other helicopters and Bug Ships in the air nearby smash into it and burst into flames, with a great deal of satisfying all-capital-letters crunching and booming like we’re suddenly in a comic book.

As Tobias watches, V3’s Blade ship and the one surviving Bug Ship withdraw to a safe distance as a hole opens up in the side of the truck ship and gushes water, and also small children, from seven hundred feet or so in the air.

So we end our brief moment of triumph by closing out the chapter with Tobias hurtling, screeching, toward all of his friends who are falling out of the sky, also screeching, to a pretty unpleasant death.

Oh, dear.  Do we think they’ll have their shit together enough to make it into bird form in mid-air?  Seems like the most likely escape route.  I guess there’s also the “V3 scoops them out of the air” option, but I feel like KAA probably isn’t going to go to the “V3 learns about humans with the ability to morph” well this early in the series. Probably.

Chapter 26

Yay!  Everyone’s going to bird-morph!  They make it in varying degrees of “just in time”, but everyone manages to not-hit-the-ground-with-a-crunch, so we’ll call that a success.  They all take cover in the forest so they won’t be seen by Visser Three and his one remaining Bug Ship, who are still flying around looking for something to shoot to cheer themselves up.

They don’t get the Animorphs, but they do get a target.  When the truck ship finally hits the ground with a big explosion, shaking the forest, a lot of the birds still in the are startle and fly up in the air.  Including Ladyhawke, whose territory is still nearby.  And who looks just like Tobias (at least, if you aren’t hip to the nuance of redtail hawk sex differences, which one assumes V3 and his gang aren’t.)

The aliens shoot her down, presumably thinking they’re getting Tobias.  Awww.  Goodbye, Ladyhawke.  We hardly knew ye.

That was a very short chapter.  “Stuff went boom, bird got shot.”  

(Previous | Next)


Up and out at 0530 today. Visibility is poor so I can’t see the big slide that buried Highway 1, but like Doc said to Marty and Jennifer, where we’re going we don’t need roads.

I think I figured out why Pokémon only sporadically gave me mileage yesterday: the boat’s speed is right around the cutoff point. Yesterday we were being slowed by the leftover swells. Today it’s smoother, such that we’re going a little faster (around 6.5 knots) and I’m getting no egg or walking buddy mileage at all. Looking forward to getting back on land so I can play.

  • Kanan: *changes his whole name, wears different clothes, uses a blaster if the lightsaber isn't necessary*
  • Ahsoka: *also wears new clothes, goes by a super secret codename does stuff anonymously*
  • Obi-wan: *only changes his first name, wears his same jedi robes every day for 19 years, openly uses lightsaber on some random dude in a bar*
The Time I Took On the Military (And Won)

Considering the staggering amount of votes this one got, here you go!

ok so it’s my sweet sixteen and i took two of my closest friends paintballing. We started off alone with just the three of us. Me and this girl formed a truce so we could take out her brother. He found a building with a roof to shoot from so i was criss crossing and sliding behind shelters.

Long story short with this guy i snuck up behind his building and shot him point blank in the ass while he was climbing a ladder.

Except now his sister is my enemy and a much larger threat.

I criss cross my way back narrowly avoiding being shot. I skid to a stop behind this bush with a really gappy fence and go GOOD ENOUGH BRING IT ON and poke my muzzle through. I cant particularly see but I remembered seeing her in a little chapel window. I aim that general direction and open fire. I immediately hear HIT. When she comes out i see where i hit her. Right between the eyes like I couldnt do that again if I tried. Ill take it.

We’re back at the base ops and these massive dudes come over like “yo wanna join us we need more players” and we’re like “oh ya bud the more the merrier” so we go over and everyone is freaking massive and there’s us three tiny lil teenagers. I over hear they’re a military team and just sigh because i know im dead this is just my luck

Apparently they wanted us so that they could simulate having civilian to protect, who were also armed. (They did a piss poor job of this seriously wtf)

So the game starts and im seperated from my friends. They’re on the opposite team.

Im sticking near the leader and just generally trying not to die. He’s giving me orders as softly and nicely as he can, thinking Im scared. I mean really who wouldnt be?

I wasnt. I was ready to kick butt. When I am silent, be afraid, im planning something.

Next thing i know he’s gone. Shot, running, hiding i dont know and i dont care i gotta move there are way too many heavily armed men in these woods for me to be comfortable

Im trekking through this woodsy area keeping as low as possible because the other team has a freaking sniper and im not dealing with that no thanks im just a tiny teenager leave me alone ok

Im doing my thing and trying to find people to shoot because everyone is mia when i see people ahead.

Not my people.

And they havent seen me yet. Im looking around looking for some decent cover or somewhere to take them by surprise and there is nothing. The entire area is just thistle bushes with massive thorns. And then my idea hits. A wicked, mischievous idea. I grin behind my mask and get ready to lay my trap.

I plop myself down right in the middle of these thistles and army crawl to the path their taking and just lay still.

These guys dont see me.

They’re not expecting someone to be in these bushes cause who is that dumb.

The one dudes boot is an inch from my hand and i spring up and yell SURPRISE before shooting him right in the chest and then the two behind him. Three down, way too many to go. I ran away cackling like a witch

Dont die dont die dont die

I head out again and meet up with some more of my group. They stick me at the back to keep me out of harms way. A valiant, if ineffective effort

Enter enemy attack.

We get split up into two groups to flank them and i end up alone again. I moving slowly, spinning in a slow circled because I am EFFED

I’m a tiny lil sixteen year old girl, all alone, with about 15 guns pointed at me. I was completely surrounded. My comrades who had fled to live and fight another day are now making haste towards me like WHO LEFT THE KID BEHIND HELP HER and im like

hell no i got this

I went absolutely ape shit on their asses.

Shots are flying around me like crazy and everyone is screaming. One of the enemies shouts FALL BACK WHAT THE FU–

I hear one if my partners like HOLY SHIT SHE’S ALIVE

I barrel over one of the attackers and side arm his gun away. I break out from the Circle of Doom and make a mad dash for cover.

I leap into the air and spin to fave them. Im not getting shot in the back I an a WARRIOR

I just start spraying with a battle cry to rattle the heavens

I smack back down to earth and land in a crouch

Every single one of the attackers were shot, usually multiple times, and i didnt get shot once. Frankly no clue how i managed but I am NOT questioning it. Luck or skill I dont care

Eventually it was down to two people. Me and the other teams captain.

He’s a big, scary dude. He had a custom gun that could pop off a frankly alarming amount of shots per second.

The odds arent exactly in my favour.

We find each other right in the middle with trenches and tiny little metal fences for cover. Im walking through like plz dont shoot me i am small be nice

The dude pops up from a trench and starts firing. No mercy here.

Fine then.

I duck behind a fence and it is the most pathetic thing i have ever seen.

I have barely enough room to crouch behind it because it’s so small. The other dude finds a nice big trench and big fence the lucky lil jerk.

So we’re poppin up like weasels trying to get a shot in. I cant hit him, he cant hit me. Up and down and up and down. My fence angles down ever so slightly so im tucked in as tightly as I could. My fence is rattling as shot after shot after shot hits. The shots stop, i poke my muzzle over the edge amd lay down some fire.

And the cycle repeats

I get tired of this little exchange so the next time he goes down i lay on some cover fire and sprint like hell for a near by trench like i am just bookin it thinking dont shoot me dont shoot me imma kill you

i slide in and pop up just as he rises to take a shot. Except im not where he thought id be.

I shot him right in the side of his bald lil head.

So i won. My team legit carried me on their shoulders back to base ops

And that’s the time I, a sixteen year old girl, beat a team of militarily trained behemoths


so i uh…. i made a voltron shrek au…

(part 2 here)

  • keith is galra and he lives alone in his galra habitat, everyone stays away from him bc they think he’ll eat them or whatever
  • meanwhile varkon (not zarkon, i’ll explain later) sends all the alteans/arusians to keith’s land
  • and keith is like what gives
  • so varkon is like if u can bring me this goreous prince lance from the highest room in the tallest tower ill give u ur swamp land back
  • and so keith and red (i honestly couldn’t think of anyone else to be donkey) go to rescue lance but guarding him is *gasp* the blue lion
  • anywho they end up getting lance out of there while keith is still like yeah yeah whatever im just trying to get my place back
  • and lance is like nono u must be my true love
  • and keith is still like noooononono i am a GALRA arent you scared of me??
  • blah blah blah keith crashes the wedding everyone’s friends, the red and blue lions get married and all is well
  • this whole thing basically came from one night at 2am when i was like…huh….. keith is a lot like shrek..

cast list under the cut:

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But if by chance you’re here alone, can I have a moment before I go? ‘Cause I’ve been by myself all night long, hoping you’re someone I used to know.

Comic N-032: “Frisk drops an F-bomb”

A second comic??

EDIT: Added word bubble, changed undyne’s face, and fixed some coloring issues!


Mind Reader

Characters: Dean x Reader

Warnings: angst adjacent, smut, dirty talk, LOTS of language

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: I was looking through some REALLY old requests and I came across an idea from @jennalyncarrigan1230 from who knows how long ago. She pitched an idea that I have twisted and LOVE the outcome. I doubt she even remembers sending the ask, but her initial idea sparked this smutty goodness. This took on a life of its own. I haven’t wrote Dean smut or ANY smut in quite some time. This is officially DIRTY. Or at least by my standards it is. Hope you enjoy. ;) Italics & Bold indicate reader’s thoughts.  This has very little plot. Just the poor reader thinking her secret dirty thoughts about Dean only to have them be not so secret anymore.

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