back to elegance

i’m in my prime,
not withering and old.
but i refuse to play
your wicked games any longer.

i know this tether is unbreakable,
but you make me feel like i’m interchangeable.
you drew a target on my heart,
when did this become fatal attraction?

i don’t have the strength,
the energy,
nor the patience
to be held hostage by your love.

so baby please don’t despair
when i say that
i’ve found the courage to
let you go.

you were never meant to be tied down in the first place.

—  believing i could love you was my mistake, c.j.n.
5,674 miles northeast [josh dun]

Originally posted by 21pilotsgifs

warnings: Language, Insecurities, Fluff

word count:4601

note: ***I came up with this idea of the soulmate and their tattoos and such, so if you want to use this idea for any other writing or use then please ask for permission before doing so. This soulmate AU is where each soulmate has a tattoo on their wrist of a compass, the dial (hand) spins to point in the direction of your soulmate. Underneath the tattoo, it says how many miles away said soulmate is. Also, if I am being honest, I don’t like my writing in this imagine. I might end up taking it down and reposting it later because it kind of sucks.

italics = josh’s pov


    5,674 miles Northeast.  

    Five thousand, six hundred, seventy four miles away from your soulmate.

    The number was so recurring, every time you sat in your house, the numbers reappeared. The same numbers: 5,674. This led to you assuming that his house was 5,674 miles away from your house.

    You pondered the number as you stared blankly at the ink that permanently sat on the skin of your forearm. The image of a detailed compass was imbedded there, just staring back at you. However, it was not the beautifully designed compass that bothered you, it was the numbers and letters written underneath it that urked you.

    He was so far away.

    The one person that you longed for most in life, was almost six thousand miles away from you.

    The only things you knew about him were how far he was and what direction he was in.

    5,674 miles Northeast from your position.

    You didn’t even know his name.

    Wiping away a tear that had fallen, you stood from the tan plush couch cushions you had previously been sitting on, and walked towards the direction of your kitchen. Sighing when you pulled out a mug for a cup of coffee, you looked back down at the tattoo.

    You really needed him there. You needed his warmth and his company; you needed his comfort and his laughter. He was the only one you needed to pick you up when you were sad, and the only person you wanted to be with when you were excited and happy. Somewhere out there, he was waiting for you, probably wishing for the exact same things.

    Filling your mug to the brim with the warm brown coffee, you headed back to your living room where you picked up your bag. Tossing it over your shoulder, you headed out the door to your car, where you began driving to work.

    Josh sat in his house with Tyler by his side.

    They were going over ideas for an upcoming music video, but Josh just could not seem to focus. He was staring absentmindedly at his tattoo, tracing his index finger over the delicate spirals and lines.

    5,674 miles NorthEast.

    He was so far away from the one person he needed in life.

    Of course, Josh was happy. He had Tyler, his best friend; he had his mom and his family. They loved him and supported him with everything they had. He would never take that for granted because he knew the importance of family and friendship. Josh was getting everything he needed from them, just not from you - the one person he truly wanted those things from.

    Josh was shaken out of his thoughts when Tyler nudged his shoulder.

    “Hey, man,” Tyler spoke, his voice quiet as they were the only two people in the room, “What’s going on? You’ve been a bit distant lately.”

Josh shook his head and smiled softly at his best friend, dropping his arm to his lap.

“It’s nothing,” Josh managed, “Just something stupid.”

Tyler once again nudged Josh in the shoulder, smiling goofily, “Josh, nothing you have to say is stupid. You can tell me anything.”

Josh looked up at his greatest friend and genuinely smiled. The two had been friends for so long that they understood when something was wrong with the other, even if they denied it. Josh was so thankful to have Tyler in his life in such cases.

“It’s just that-” Josh cut himself off and raised his tattooed arm to his eyesight again, “I miss her. Is that weird? To miss someone that I’ve never met?”

Tyler chuckled and shook his head, “Nah, man. It happens, I used to miss Jenna before I met her. It’s just something that happens because you know that they are out there and not here.”

Josh nodded his head and went back to tracing the elegant designs on his forearm. He stayed silent for a few moments, pondering what you looked like and what your personality was life. He often wondered about such simple things; like the color of your eyes or how tall you were. These were just small things that made him chuckle and smile fondly at the imprint engraved on himself.

Tyler looked at his friend and laughed softly, “You’ll meet her soon, buddy. Soon.”

Josh nodded before telling his friend that they should get back to work. Tyler nodded, and the two best friends went back to talking about ideas for a music video; this time, Josh contributed more to the conversation and gave ideas. All the while, he was wondering whether or not you would like what they were planning.

When you finally arrived at work, you were already exhausted.

You had driven through traffic because of an accident on the highway, and you had to take a longer route to your job because the same highway had to be shut down. Along the way, you had spilt your coffee onto yourself, the piping hot liquid soaking through your clothes and causing you to let out a few colorful curse words. The action had made you turn your car around and head home so that you could change your clothes to something that was not covered in coffee. Everything was just going wrong today.

Dropping into your seat and closing your eyes, you let out a tired huff.

From beside you, your friend chuckled at your behavior.

“Wow,” She laughed, “What’s got you all worked up?”

You sighed and opened your eyes, turning to face her smiling face. You let a smile of your own grace your face as you looked at your long time friend. You had met on your first day of work, immediately becoming friends.

“Just getting to work today was awful and I don’t have enough energy to even get started right now,” You groaned and threw your head back against your chair, “I had to take another route to work because the highway was closed and then I spilled coffee on myself and had to go home to change. Then I couldn’t find another outfit because everything was dirty and I keep looking at this stupid tattoo that keeps telling me that I’ll never meet my soulmate because he’s insanely far away.” You continued to ramble about the worst day of your life before your friend cut you off.

“Hey, babe,” She comforted, “You’ll meet him one day, you just have to be patient.”

Tears began to well in your eyes as you thought about it. Yeah, you’d eventually meet him, but what if he did not like what he finally saw. What if he didn’t like your weight or your looks? After all, you were not that skinny and in your opinion you were not that pretty. What if he doesn’t like your personality? What if he hates the things you like?

Endless ‘what if’ questions ran through your head and you looked down at your hands, playing with your fingers and letting tears fall onto the black ink engraved on your arm.

You friend frowned sadly as she watched you, and then she stood and approached your saddened frame. She nudged you as a sign to scoot over and you complied, giving her a spot to sit next to you. She grabbed your shoulders and guided you into her body, letting you cry into her shoulder.

Gently shushing you, she pulled you back so she could question why you were so sad, “What’s wrong?”

You shook your head and wiped tears off of your face, trying to cover the red blotchy eyes that had come with the tears.

“I’m just worried,” You whimpered, “I’m scared that he won’t love me”

Your friends face fell and she tilted her head with a look of sympathy and understanding, “Oh honey.”

You looked back at her, not wanting her pity, but continued nonetheless, “I just feel like when he meets me, he won’t like what he sees. Like, he won’t like that I’m not as skinny as other girls, and that I don’t wear makeup like them. I’m not pretty or smart and I just feel like he won’t like it.”

Your friend pulled you back into her arms and rubbed her arms along your back, murmuring comforting words to you before she pulled you back once again.

“Those things don’t matter; whether you are smart, skinny, tall, short, or whatever. He’s going to love you no matter what; no matter the circumstance, no matter what you look or act like, no matter what things you’ve been through. That’s why he’s your soulmate. This man was made specifically for you; he was made to love you and only you. He is going to love you until the end of time, no matter what happens. Even if you don’t like what you see in the mirror, it doesn’t matter because he will,” She rambles.

By the time she finishes her speech, you are in tears again; the words moving you so much that you sob into her shoulder once more.

Your friend just chuckles, knowing that you realized her words were true. She rubs circles into your back and tells you to get back to work with a reassuring smile. You comply and push her out of your chair, laughing when she stumbles to the floor. She gets back up, laughing, and shoved you back. Both of you let out squeals before returning to your work.

Hours later, at your lunch break, your friend sits by your side once again.

All of the sudden, her head shoots up and she looks at you with glee in her eyes, “Oh my gosh! I almost forgot to tell you!”

You laugh at her squeals before asking what she was talking about.

She looked at you with a glint in her eye before opening her mouth to explain, “Well, you know how your favorite band Twenty One Pilots is coming into town for a concert in two days?”

You nod and then sigh, “Yeah, but I’m too poor to afford any tickets.”

Said friend began to smirk at your reply which caused you to look at her as if he was insane, “What’s wrong with your face?” You laugh.

She laughed before beginning to speak, “Well, I just so happened to get a bonus at work last week and may have bought two tickets to see said band.”

Your jaw drops.

“No way,” You speak, shock and amazement evident in your voice.

Your friend giggles, “Yes way!”

You laugh excitedly before leaping out of your seat and running towards her. She laughs along with you as you grasp her into a tight hug, feeling ecstatic for once in your life.

“I love you, I love you, I love you!” You ramble to your best friend as you dance around the room, the both of you laughing and crying because you finally get to see your favorite band live in a few days.

A few hours later, you arrive home and collapse onto your bed with a huge, giddy smile on your face. You reach a hand up, once again beginning to trace the tattoo on your arm.

Then you notice something.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you look at your tattoo and notice that the number had dropped.

4,245 miles.

And the number was dropping quickly.

Twenty minutes: 3,981.

An hour: 2,432.

Wherever he was, he must have been on a plane.

You gasp in happiness. He was heading in your direction.

He was heading to you.

You collapsed into your bed with the same smile on your face, but this time it was ten times wider.

Josh Dun was ecstatic.

He might have the chance to meet his soulmate.

He was heading on tour, flying to their next stop when he noticed the numbers on his arm were changing. They were dropping quickly, meaning that he was getting closer to you.

His heart thumped in his chest, and he turned to shake Tyler. Josh was so happy that he almost woke bystanders on the plane when he spoke to his best friend.

Tyler shot up when Josh nudged him before sending him a questioning look to him when he noticed nothing was wrong.

“Look!” Josh nearly shouted, “The numbers! They’re going down!”He turned his forearm to the side so that Tyler could read the numbers on the side: 2,432 miles.

Tyler smiled and patted his friend on the shoulder, “Congrats, buddy.”

Josh smiled giddily and looked at the screen in front of him. The plane had installed television screens to the back of each seat so that people could watch movies and monitor their flight path. He leaned forward to click the screens ‘Your Flight’ button. He watched with nerves in his stomach as it loaded the flight pattern.

When it finally loaded, he looked closely at the little plane illustration that would tell him how far their destination was from where they were currently.

His heart thudded wildly and his stomach was lurching as he searched the screen for the number that would tell him how close he was going to be to his soulmate.

When his eyes caught sight of the number, he almost passed out; his heart leaping out of his chest. The corners of his mouth turned up so high that you would have thought Josh was on drugs.

Tyler looked at his friend with surprise on his face and moved so that he could see the screen that Josh had moved away from.

Tyler smiled in happiness when he read the number.

2,400.

Two days later, you were sitting on your couch next to your friend.

Both of you were hanging out before you had to get ready for the concert that night. While sitting on the couch, you were both marveling at the tattoo on your arm. 32 miles. He was in the same town that you were in right now.  

You had been tempted to go out and find him, but your friend had convinced you to wait until after the concert because she was afraid that once you found him, you wouldn’t be able to leave him.

In an hour, the both of you were about to leave for the concert; you had taken a shower and changed into a pair of black jeans, a twenty one pilots shirt, and you old, worn converse.

When your friend had approved your outfit after making you spin a few times, you were ready to leave. Both of you entered her black Jeep Wrangler, you sitting in the passenger seat and your friend in the driver’s seat.

While driving to the stadium, you noticed that the numbers continued to drop, so you turned to face your friend, “Hey, so how far is the auditorium we are going to?” You questioned her with a spark behind your eyes.

She looked at you with confusion swirling in her own eyes before answering your question, “I don’t know, maybe thirty miles?”

You grinned madly at the words, “Really?”

She once again looked confused before realizing what you were thinking, “Oh my gosh, no way!”

You laughed at her and nodded your head, “He’s going to be there.”

Your soulmate was going to be at the concert.

He was going to be within your reach.

The numbers on your wrist were going to dwindle down to zero.

You laughed as tears filled your eyes, and you thought about what he might look like. Was he tall? Short? Was he blonde or brunette? What was his personality like? Was he kind and sweet or was he stubborn and strong? You desperately hoped it was a mix between the two.

Finally reaching the stadium, you looked down at your wrist to see the numbers imprinted there - no, number.

One.

One mile.

You were one mile from your soulmate and he was one mile from you.

A brilliant smile graced your face and you violently tapped your friend’s shoulder. She spun around quickly, ready to yell at the person who would not leave her alone, but stopped when she noticed it was you. Instead of screaming, she just pushed you back and questioned what was wrong.

You excitedly showed her your arm and the both of you squealed in utter joy.

“I’m going to meet him!” You cried, “I’m actually going to meet him!”

Your friend, who had already found her soulmate, was congratulating you, hugging you to her and giggling about how she would not see you as much because you would be with him. Of course, she did not mind because she knew what it was like to have a soulmate in her life.

Hours later, after the concert had started, you were in general admission, having the time of your life. Jumping around to Polarize and Heavydirtysoul, made you completely forget about the ink engraved on your skin. Instead, you jumped around and sang your heart out as your favorite band played right before your eyes.

When the last song finally finished, Tyler yelled out into his mic words about how fun the concert had been and how he wished they could have stayed longer. You and your friend sighed as the two left the stage, leaving you and the rest of the audience to filter out.

When you reached the car, you still had not remembered the tattoo; only when you finally reached your house, did you look down to your wrist and then scream in frustration. You had not realized that you had forgotten about it, and now you would not get that same chance again.

Sighing and letting tears soak your shirt, you layed back onto your bed and punched the pillow. It was not the best way to filter your anger, but at the moment, you could not think of a better way.

When you finally wore yourself out, you collapsed onto your bed and closed your eyes.

That night, you dreamt of him. You dreamt of him holding you in his strong arms and whispering how much he loved you.

It was the best nights sleep you had gotten in awhile.

It was minutes before the concert was to begin, and Josh was nervous. He always got a few pre-show jitters, and they were just starting to hit.

He bounced his leg up and down as he sat on a couch backstage. Tyler sat next to him, enveloped in his phone; he was probably texting Jenna.

Josh, who was feeling more nervous then he usually did, reached down and began rubbing the tattoo on his forearm. It was a habit he had picked up when he was nervous. Rubbing the tattoo made his think that you were there with him, helping him with his nerves.

Tyler looked up from his phone at his friend, watching how her played with the ink on his arm, as he often did. The singer laughed and nudged his friend, “You’ll be fine, Josh. These people love you.”
    Josh looked up at Tyler, not stopping his motions, and then he replied, “Yeah, I know, but I don’t know why I’m feeling so nervous all of the sudden. Usually I get a few nerves before shows, but they usually are not this bad.”

Tyler sighed and looked to his friend, trying to decide what he should do to help.

That’s when he noticed it.

The bold faced number sitting on Josh’s arm.

The number one.

Tyler immediately grabbed Josh’s wrists to take a closer look at that ink, trying to see if he had seen it wrong. Josh shrugged away, surprised at the sudden movement. Tyler had grabbed Josh’s arm and trapped it between his hands, looming over it like a lion did to his prey.

Josh laughed, “What the fuck is going on?”
    Tyler looked shocked as he looked up at his best friend, raising Josh’s wrist to his face, “I think I know why you’re so nervous.”
    Josh took one look at his wrist with a sigh, not wanting to see the numbers again.

But then he faltered.

The number was so small yet meant so much.

She was one mile, maybe even less, away from him. He could finally wrap his arms around her and tell her how much he needed and missed her. Josh leaped to his feet and looked closer at his arm.

“Holy shit!” He yelled out, “Holy fucking shit!”
    Tyler stood up next, embracing Josh like a brother would.
    “Congrats, man! You finally get to meet her!” Tyler spoke, “She’s probably at the concert.”
    Josh did not say anything, simply stared at his forearm in wonder. So many thoughts were running through his head about how this moment would go. Josh knew that when he saw you he would know that you were his soulmate. For some odd reason, Josh just knew that he would know.

A security guard stepped forward, putting his body in front of the pair. He told them that the show was starting and they had to get on stage.

Josh sighed and turned to Tyler, who had told him they would look for her after.

The red-haired man smiled and agreed, wanting nothing more than to see you for himself.

During the concert, Josh managed to forget about you for a few moments, and instead focused on drumming. It was his passion; his greatest skill. Josh loved drumming so much, and he was so lucky that he got to play them beside his friend.

After the concert had ended, Josh immediately ran backstage to change. He threw on a shirt and changed his sweaty shorts into jeans before he took off towards his car. Tyler followed closely behind, shouting at Josh to get in the passenger seat to tell him where to go.

His wrist read, TWO MILES SOUTHEAST.

Tyler started the car without a second thought and began driving the exact direction the compass had told him.

Seconds later, Josh had arrived at the spot. However, the numbers kept changing. It increased to a number one, then two. It occurred to him that she must have been in a car.

Josh hollered at Tyler to keep driving, so Tyler did.

They followed his wrist compass, as crazy as it sounded, until they reached a quieter neighborhood. The number hit zero when Tyler pulled up next to a gas station.

Josh stared at his wrist in wonder.

It said zero.

His soulmate must have been right in front of him.

Unbuckling his seatbelt and throwing open the car door, he ran towards the only other car in the parking lot of the gas station.

Seconds before he reached it, the passenger side door opened, and the most beautiful girl Josh had ever seen stepped out. She looked down at her wrist frantically, before she looked up and moved around, looking as if she were searching for something. It then hit Josh; that was his soulmate.

The girl with the beautifully, silken hair and glowing eyes. She moved with such grace and beauty that Josh wanted to melt. He stood frozen as he watched her, until she looked up at him.

She froze.

Then she looked down at her tattoo once, as did Josh, and then they were running towards each other. It was as if they both just knew.

Josh took off, his feet carrying him faster than he ever had before. He was panting, tears already beginning to fall from his eyes as he watched you take off towards him. Josh opened up his arms just as you reached him, letting your body crash into him. He lifted your body off the ground and your legs wrapped around his waist. Josh let out a small cry of happiness and he buried one of his hands in your hair. The other one supported your butt, so that you did not fall. One of your hands ran frantically through his hair, and the other squeezed his shoulder. Josh then felt tears leak onto his shoulder, and he pulled your face away so that he could look at you better.

His breath was taken away.

You were so beautiful.

Josh let out a happy sob and pressed his forehead to yours. Still letting out small cries of your own, you pulled his wrist up to your face so that you could compare tattoos.

They were exactly the same.

You cried out in joy and buried your face back in his neck. Josh chuckled and buried his own face into your hair. He let tears fall from his eyes as he clutched you tightly to his body before he spoke, “You have no idea how long I have been waiting for you.”

When you replied in a voice that sounded cherubic, Josh melted, “I guess I could say the same.”

Josh laughed and he set you back onto your feet so that he could connect his lips to yours.

It may have seemed unrealistic to anyone watching them; two strangers meeting and kissing for the first time. However, it was not weird to the two people kissing. They had finally found that one person that suited them, and they were ecstatic.

Josh clutched you close to him as he let his lips freely claim yours. He tilted his head to the side so that he could have a better angle when he kissed you, and you complied, tilting yours in the opposite direction. Your lips were soft and tasted sweet, like strawberries and chocolate. Josh sighs happily, and let his tongue slip into your mouth. You moved one of your hands up to bury itself in his hair and he let out a small moan.

When Josh finally managed to pull himself away, he introduced himself, “Hi, I’m Joshua Dun.”

You chuckled and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, introducing yourself, finishing the statement with, ‘I can’t believe my soulmate is Joshua fucking Dun.”

Josh had giggled at the remark before getting a bit more serious, “So, 5,674 miles.”

You sighed and let out a ‘yeah.’

A lightbulb went off his Josh’s head and he spoke to you with absolute joy in his voice, “How about we reduce that number to zero? Go on tour with me.”

  You looked up at him with a confused yet excited look in your eyes, not believing that you’re soulmate was Josh Dun, and he just invited you on tour with him.

Letting a few more tears slip from your eyes, you connected your lips once more before you pulled away and spoke, “Yes.”
 

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Christie Falls by Lichon
Via Flickr:
Photographed a few months ago at Christie Falls