They literally slam into each other at a roller rink.
It’s a You Can Play benefit thing for kids. Kent’s too busy
watching to make sure he doesn’t run over one of the mini-tots that he
completely misses the giant headed in his direction. And you would think, wouldn’t you, that a guy whose
career involved balancing on knives on ice would take a check on skates as well
as he did in an ice rink, but nope. Kent hits Alexei Mashkov head-on and sends
them both into a pile on the ground.
The icing on the cake is Kent’s arm clotheslining a six-year-old
on the way down.
So now he and Tater are both sitting on the side of the
roller skating rink, holding matching cold packs to their faces while a small
child stuffs tissues up his nose to stop the bleeding.
“I’mb gonna tell everybody at school that Kent Parsob hit by
face!” the kid tells Kent happily, oblivious to his dad’s efforts to keep him
from talking and thereby snorting blood everywhere.
Kent gives him a weak thumbs up. At his side, Alexei makes a
noise that might actually be a giggle.
“You so cute with kids,” Alexei says.
Damn language barriers,
Kent thinks. “You mean I’m good with kids. And I’m not that great. They just
like me because I’m ridiculous.”
“You are very ridiculous,” Alexie agrees. “But I’m choose
right word, ‘cute.’ You are cute being with kids.”
Kent thinks the head-on collision must have knocked
something loose in both their heads. He
twists sideways and gapes, the effect of which is probably lost due to the ice
pack covering half his face. “I’m sorry. What
did you just say?”
Ultimate brotp, no one can convince me that they were more than platonic
The first night, none of the other boys take notice of Remus because he is so quiet. He is the first one up in the morning, an early riser like Lily.
At six in the morning, at breakfast, Lily sees him and approaches him with a giant grin that is so like her. “Someone else who is up at the crack of dawn,” she says.
They go out to explore the grounds together
In fact, early morning walks are their specialty. This knowledge of mapping out the grounds comes in handy when making the Marauders Map (unbeknownst to Lily)
Remus, new in first year, is the only person from the class other than Lily who has read his textbooks. In Transfiguration, Lily and him earn Gryffindor twenty points the first day.
Lily and him become study partners before he becomes friends with the other Marauders. She is there for him “when no one else was”.
She begins to take notice of the days he’s gone.
She realizes what he is, but never confronts him. She knows he is still Remus.
In second year, when the Marauders figure it out, Remus runs away, hiding. She is the one who convinces him to go back, because she could see the “beauty in others that they didn’t see themselves.”
In third year, James starts to like her. (“Moony, mention my name, please when you study”)
Later that evening, Remus and Lily discuss Cheering Charms, “Did you know, James is so good at charms,” he says. She raises her eyebrows.
“James is great with flobberworms.” When doing their care of magical creatures essay.
Because Remus is the number one Jily shipper.
Fourth year, she sees Remus staring at Sirius’ hair. She grins to herself. The next day, Sirius’ hair is braided and she sees Remus blush terribly and she laughs.
Remus turns around and he knows that she knows. Thus start her and James’ awful plans to get “Wolfstar” together. (”Potter, let’s just drop Amortenia on Black’s Head”)
Remus making them fail on purpose so she and James get more time together. (“Sorry, Lily, I accidentally messed up all my lines.”)
During fifth year, they were the best team of prefects. Although Lily disapproves that Remus would not argue with his friends, she did not blame him for it.
Fifth year, during O.W.L season, Remus and Lily were the ones calming everyone down.
Sixth year, they are the ones recklessly tossing aside their exams because they needed to protest the new ministry laws.
During the Prank, Lily convinced Remus to forgive Sirius. She also went to Sirius and punched him in the face during breakfast, tbhus earning her detention for the first time. (”Evans, will you marry me?” James Potter laughs for the first time in five days.)
Seventh year, when Lily warms up to James, this time it is Remus and Sirius who start hatching plans.
When she starts going out with him, Remus hugs James and whispers cheerfully, “I love you and everything mate, but don’t hurt her, or Moony will rip you to shreds.”
After school, they all rent out a flat together. He and Sirius organize the bachelor party.
During the wedding, Remus makes sure that Sirius doesn’t get too drunk, and cuts at least 35 deer puns out of the Best Man’s Speech. (”I think 64 is enough, don’t you think, Pads?”)
That is the last night he remembers them being all together.
He can’t be there when Harry is born because of the full moon, but Lily brages into his room the next day and makes him hold Harry. (”You’re his Uncle Moony,” she says, laughing. “We can’t leave you.”)
Which is why it is sad when they have to part, James and Lily and Harry going into hiding.
He goes undercover to the werewolves, and Sirius begins to think he is the spy
On Halloween night, he hears what has happened when he is for the first time, not undercover. It was going to be a relatively quiet night free of stress and worry.
Now he has no worries, because his worst worries have come true. He rushes to the dilapidated house.
His mind is blank as he realizes all that happened. It keeps playing in his kind ovr and over and over again. Sirius laughing manically, much like he used to when there were worms coming out of the Slytherins’ ears. Now muggles were bleeding. revulsion and guilt fill him, because he misses Sirius, but Sirius has killed James. James, the good one, the loyal one, the steady one.
He sees James crooked glasses in the coffin and remembers fondly when James fell asleep in History of Magic while staring at Lily when he used to stare at her.
He sees his long arms, lifeless, and remembers when they held him up after the full moon.
He stares blankly at Lily, the most of all. Her radiant hair and dazzling eyes (apparently Harry Potter’s eyes), closed forever. Her kind smile that she would never smile again. Her anger that would never be roused again.
But when he looks into the face of Harry Potter, the first thought that comes to his mind is James.
But he looks into those dazzling eyes, of one of his best friends, his dearest friends, he cannot bear it and needs to go out of the carriage.
Because one upon a time, Lily and Remus were the dearest of friends.
Bitty’s wedding party (holster and ransom, the frogs, etc other friends bitty has the comic doesnt show) takes him to a club where they only played beyonce. Theres a stripper pole that no professional strippers danced with but almost everyone in the party danced with (except for nursey, no one let nursey near a stripper pole)
Jack’s wedding party (shitty and lardo, the falconers, etc other ppl close to jack but the comic doesnt show but jack is such an introvert ill be surprised if his bachelor party has more than 10 guests) took him on a tour of the boston freedom trail. There were champagne, beer, and jack gets to talk about his newfound interest, the training regimen of the revolutionary army in 18th century usa colonies.
Dean and Cas might rather forget the traumatic events that brought them into the public eye, but with the help of their friends and family they’ve turned a terrifying experience into a resource of hope and help to others. In the process, they’ve attracted a little bit of attention from an ambitious TV producer who, after discovering Dean’s fear of flying and the fact that Dean and Cas are planning their upcoming wedding, thinks the best present for Dean, Cas, and all of their friends is to send them on a truly incredible honeymoon. Oh, and a lot of airplanes.
By some miracle, Dean Winchester has been selected for the latest season of Project Runway. Now, he just has to prove that being a mechanic/self-taught designer from Kansas doesn’t mean he has no talent or taste. Oh, and he has to tolerate the presence of the stuck-up Castiel Novak. Not to mention the loads of drama he must deal with. Can he survive the show, and, against all odds, win?
“Hi, and welcome to Queer Eye for the Straight Guy: celebrity edition. Where instead of the Fab Five, who are all experts in their fields, you have me, Dean Winchester, a bisexual hockey player who is slightly above average at these things.” “Today’s victim is Castiel Novak: world renowned entymologist specializing in honey bees. His latest research publication is receiving all kinds of awards so he’s going to have a little celebration tonight. That’s where I’m here to help.”
In which Supernatural is a reality show, Dean Winchester is a closeted reality star hounded by tabloids, and the author gets a little meta. Or: The one where Dean starts to suspect he’s a terrible boyfriend, and Cas disagrees.
II. fics from our Pretend Boyfriends tag with fake performance vibe that is so popular with reality TV fics
Yes… I brought them with me to the beach and took a professional quality photo!
Unfortunately, my memory card went full after this pic, because I also photographed a bachelor party, wedding rehearsal, wedding, and reception in Orange Beach a couple days before, and I left my other cards back at the beach house before I went out to take this pic, but thankfully it turned out good!
shoutout to @regular-li for brainstorming this one with me <3
- okay so bev and ben get married first, they’re like 21 and they’ve been together since they were 14 so like, why wait y’know (i have their proposal/ wedding planned out but that’s for another post OKAY)
- it’s the part where bev throws her bouquet and you bet richie is determined to catch it
- he fucking nearly punches someone out but he catches it
- bev comes up and nudges him like ‘so you and bill are next then, yeah?’
- richie honestly completely forgot about that part of it,, he just really wanted the flowers
- so he’s like red in the face and stammering because they haven’t talked about that stuff yet and he’s really nervous about it
- but yeah he decides that day that he’s gonna marry bill
- LITTLE DOES HE KNOW that bill was thinking the same thing
- fast forward a year, they’re living together in a dodgy flat that they can’t keep tidy, they have low-paying service jobs, though bill writes on the side and richie is going to audition after audition to try and get into the entertainment business, they have a dog, they’re scraping by some months but they’re happy
- richie’s been planning out a proposal for a few months, he has a ring, just a simple silver band because god knows they don’t need anything extravagant, but he wants the actual proposal to be a big deal
- he makes a booking for this really nice restaurant for their three year anniversary, and it’s way out of their budget but he digs into his personal savings
- he makes a point of being a real Gentleman, opening doors and pulling out bill’s chair etc, and he’s really putting on an act because he’s so nervous and he needs to cover it up and he’s hyperaware of the ring-box in his pocket
- they have dinner and bill has a few glasses of wine but richie doesn’t drink because he has a script in his head and everything needs to be perfect
- anyway, just as he’s about to start his whole thing, a fucking string quartet walks into the restaurant and stands around the table a bit over from them, and the dude at that table gets down on one knee and proposes to his date, and the whole restaurant is clapping and congratulating them
- richie is pissed, because fuck this dude hired a fucking string quartet i can’t compete with that uuuuuggghhhhhh
- so everything is ruined and he doesn’t propose that night
- bill has also been planning a proposal for a few months, and he also has a ring
- there’s a fair in town and they go for a day because richie is obsessed with carnival games and somehow really good at them even though bill’s pretty adamant that everything’s rigged (he’s actually just a sore loser)
- richie wins bill this big stuffed bear and carries it on his shoulders it’s pretty cute
- he has this plan to wait until sunset and go on the ferris wheel and propose when they’re at the top
- they are walking towards the ferris wheel at the end of the day and they’ve managed to avoid clowns for the ENTIRE DAY and one has to jump out in front of them right now
- richie freaks out and damn near punches the clown in the face, and then he’s basically on the verge of a panic attack and bill has to take him back to the car because yeah it’s not happening tonight
- the next time, richie decides to ditch the whole public thing (because he’s fucking broke, that restaurant was expensive) and just treats bill to a nice lowkey day, he makes breakfast and brings it to bill in bed and they go to town and just do window shop and do whatever bill wants
- at the end of the day they’re on a walk near this lake and it’s really atmospheric and richie is about to get down on one knee but then fuck
- he left the fucking ring at home
- so once again everything’s ruined and he has to come up with another plan
- then bill tries again, and he knows richie will be working a little late so he cleans the house and actually puts rose petals down leading from the front door to the bedroom and there’s soft music playing and candles and he bought a nice bottle of wine and he’s so proud of himself like fuck yes look at me being all romantic and shit this is gonna be so good
- except when richie gets home, and follows the rose petals to the bedroom, and goes to kiss bill, he knocks over one of the candles and nearly sets fire to the damn bed (they put it out quickly it’s all okay) but now the mood is gone and bill’s like NOPE and doesn’t propose
- basically they’re both so intent on everything going perfectly that they keep making new plans but never actually fucking propose
- ben and bev have a dinner party and richie tries to propose? accidentally spills red wine on bill’s shirt, and it’s ruined
- bill takes richie to look at christmas lights in the city? some drunk guy harasses them while they’re holding hands, and then it’s starts to piss down with rain, and it’s RUINED
- the rest of the losers are fucking annoyed at this point because they’ve been at this for MONTHS and GOD DAMNIT SOMEONE JUST FUCKING PROPOSE ALREADY
- but they both need it to be perfect and amazing because they think the other deserves the whole world and nothing but the best!
- but anyway they’re both broke, out of ideas, and getting annoyed at themselves
- they’re just out on a walk one day, they both have the rings in their pockets (because at this point they always have them on them) and it’s late and they’re kinda tired and it’s not even a nice day out, but they both have it in their heads that they’re just gonna ask and get it over with, that it’s not gonna be perfect no matter what they try so they may as well just ask
- they both called their friends and said to meet them at the park later on because they’ll definitely be engaged then and they can go celebrate, and they’re all like ‘mhm sure you will’ but they’re on their way anyway
- they’re on this park bench and they’re not talking because they’re too wrapped up in their own heads
- then suddenly bill is just like FUCK IT and gets down on the ground and pulls out the ring box
- “richie tozier, ever since i met you i’ve been-”
“OH HELL NO”
- bill is like ‘….what?’ and is about to start freaking out because holy shit he just said no what do i do
- but then richie pulls his own ring box out and is like pulling bill up by his shirt
- “if anyone’s proposing it’s me”
- and then he gets down on one knee and starts his speech thing
- “bill denbrough, you make me the happi-”
“i think the fuck not”
- then bill is trying to get richie to stand up and they’re both trying to get under the other one so they can be the one kneeling down and pretty soon they’re basically wrestling
- let’s just say when the other losers show up they’re a little confused
- “are they making out?”
“i think they’re.. fighting”
“FUCK YOU BILL, YOU RUINED MY PLAN”
“YOUR PLAN, YOU RUINED MY PLAN”
- so basically ben and mike step in because they think they’re seriously having a punch up
- “what the fuck is going on?”
“bill tried to propose but I’M the one whose supposed to propose”
“… fucking hell why are you two like this”
- basically things calm down and everyone’s like ‘literally why is this an issue just ask each other’
- they both just scream “WILL YOU MARRY ME” at the same time
- “I SAID IT FIRST”
“NO YOU DID NOT”
“jesus christ you two are fucking insane”
- they just kinda start making out then
- “will you though?”
“sure, i guess”
- the rest of them are so goddamn relieved because finally we were getting so sick of this
- they’re both just really happy and in love holy shit
this is so long aaaa but FUN
i’m gonna do what their bachelor parties/ wedding is like because i have headcanons for that as well :3c
- Tary and Lawrence meeting, falling back in love, and going on (mis)adventures
- The Pikelan wedding. Scanlan’s bachelor party, thrown by Grog, and Pike’s bachelorette party, thrown by Grog. Their honeymoon, which can be literally anywhere because Scanlan can teleport. Perc’ahlia trying to wrangle their 2.5 kids at the wedding that contains the most powerful and chaotic people in Exandria.
- The entire gang reacting to the Perc’ahlia kids, Grog the Babysitter, Pike and Scanlan fucking LOSING it and having a weird ‘should we do this??’ moment before baby Vesper throws up on Scanlan’s shirt and he’s like ‘nuh-uh’ and he makes that FACE you know the one the Sam makes when he does a really bad roll
- Just a day in the life of the Strongjaw-Trickfoot-Shorthalt house. It’s literally just a fucking sitcom and there’s nothing but shenanigans
- A real actual college au for Kaylie, that’s just her life now. She finds a group of misfits to befriend and egg the houses of the snobby rich kids
- They decide to give Keyleth her space after a few years of checking up pretty regularly because she’s getting better but still hurting and Percy and Vex finally make the trip to Zephra for Winter’s Crest and Keyleth’s like “hey wanna meet my 20 new kids” and she’s become a bird lady. Not just ravens, either. Mostly ravens but pretty much any kind of bird. They all have names and personalities and they swear for a moment that same young, naive Keyleth who was a squirrel in Stillben in standing in the room with them
- Just every fucking fic about the awkward, bumbling dating between Scanlan and Pike and navigating a ‘new’ romance that’s also been burning for like two years and they’re like “is this our first kiss I think I’ve kissed you before?” “How important is your first time when you’ve mutually resurrected each other from real death?” “this is stupid we’re stupid I love you”
- Keyleth and Kerrick getting stupidly, stupidly drunk every once in awhile and crying and laughing and yelling (or trying to yell) irish wristwatch in the streets of Westrunn
- Vox Machina loving and losing and laughing and crying and living their crazy, stupid lives the only way vox machina knows how
it’s going to rain tomorrow, i held off on telling ppl, i’m pretty sure i didn’t tell the wrong ppl or didn’t tell them the right way, and one of the role model elder gay ppl i was rly looking forward to seeing died and his funeral is on the same day
honestly my biggest worry about my wedding tomorrow is that nobody will bother to show up, just like my open mics. it will be my wife, her boyfriend who will get grumbly, my mom and dad glaring daggers at each other, my brother and 4 of his punk friends whose names i don’t remember, a dude my wife met at a convention 2 months ago, and my best friend from middle school who drove in to get her cat back. the cake will not show up and i will be judged for my choice of venue, food, and date.
a) is this normal
b) would my shitty bachelor party where i only had $20, went to 2 of my cheap favorite industrial bars with my friends and couldn’t afford the cover on Sports Event Night, went to the bar my brother works at for solace and food and found neither, came home to find out that all the pizza places were closed, and wrote a blog about it be more/less funnier more/less sympathetic if i was a dude
c) what do normal women do/worry about the night before they are about to get married
Oikawa and Iwaizumi holds a joined bachelor party before their wedding (same-sex marriage is not legalized yet, but they decide to do it anyway.)
It’s a small party between their shared close friends in Seijou and in college.
Oikawa has gotten his third drink when he announces he has a song for his beloved Iwa-chan and starts singing Best Friend by Jason Mraz to Iwaizumi.
Everyone’s laughing and clapping for Oikawa’s singing when Iwaizumi, who may or may not have had his fifth drink at the moment, gets too overwhelmed and starts crying, saying he doesn’t want to get married, instead he wants to stay together with his best friend because he loves his best friend so much.
They end up in a cuddly pile, promising each other that they won’t abandon the other for “just a husband.”
Iwaizumi’s content smile after receiving Oikawa’s promise is the only reason that their group of friends don’t have the video uploaded on social media.
Oikawa breaks his promise the following morning by abandoning Iwa in Kuroo’s and Bokuto’s hands and goes get ready with his sister’s help.
Iwa survives because of his gorgeous genes (and actual helps from Kuroo with his hair) and still says yes to Tooru to become his husband.