Day20: Write 5 messages to 5 different persons


Dear MagandangMatakaw,
 Hi Naaaaayyy ! Hoooyy. Hndi bakla si Logan Lerman. Kurutin kita sa ribs jan eh :( Anw, salamat sa kabaliwan kahit na di pa tayo matagal na magkakilala. Thankyou kasi sinasamahan mo ko suminghot ng surf. Labyu Mwa ♥

Dear Masayangmasayakoputanginamoka,
Hi din Nay ! HAHAHA. Kahit di pa tayo close kasama ka na dito. Sympre, damayan tayo sa emohearts eh. HAHAHAHA. Anyways, salamat in advance. Tapos sana madedo na yung pinagseselosan naten. Para happy happy na. Tska wag mo kakalimutan yung chocolates ko pagbalik mo dito sa Pinas. HAHAHA. Labyu Mwa ♥

Dear Hzlsrh,
Hi Ate Hazel :)) Salamat kase ikaw yung pumipilit sakin na ipost ko yung mga covers ko. HAHAHAHA. #0 fan kita dba ? So yun. Labyu din. Mwa ♥

Dear J3s3th,
 Jesethbabeeeesss XD HAHAHAHAHA. Mygaassh. Na-track mo agad ako sa FB :(( Huhubels. HAHAHA. Thank you din sa lahat ! Sorry sa kabaliwan ko. Nadadamay ka. HAHAHAHA. Labyuuuu ♥

Dear babybabs, 

Hoooy Betsss ! HAHAHAH. Hndi mo na ko tiniTA :( Nakakatampo ka na. Paker ka. Sana makamoveon ka na kay Tarsier. Yung 11 Ways ha ! Remember. Salamat sa sarcasm. Naiintindihan ko talaga lahat ng yon. HAHAHAHAHA. Aylabyu ♥ Mwa. Wag ka umiyak jan. Paki-Hi ako kay Paolo :))


Babybabe, even when I’m not making new music, I still gotta make money. I do whatever I can to be a virus to the public and infest everybody’s stereos with awesome amazings. This time to make money I decided to release a single from an album I made back in 1999! I made an album called “California” and put it under the name “Mr. Bungle”, they were my rap group back in the early 1900’s. I thought the song “Vanity Fair” would make a good single and boost some late album sales for “California”. And now I can sell the singles to everyone!

Money, money, money, money. I don’t even need to do anything for it anymore. But I did write new lyrics for the remix track of the song:

“You’re not human, You’re a babybabe.
A baby with a babybabe skin.
In your sexy, patten smokescreen
Lie the babybabes of vanity”

My lyrics are better than my other lyrics. And I’m the boss. Jim Martin Jr. is on the remix track and he rocks the song with rax. Don’t fudge the facts again, I got enough Dr. Pibb to last another world tour. Support my single and you’ll be supporting me like my underwire… they’re really weird, babe. (Hope Solo, Jennifer Lopez, & the dissolution of Top Gear are all to blame for the release of the album. Produced by Balls of Bruce)

POW! ooooooOOOOOWAKOOWAKOOWAKOOdoe…….. SHANAKAKATAKAYo. Oh… sorry babybabes, I was practicing my fantomas vocals. I didn’t even see you there! That’s probably because I was practicing my fantomas vocals. I’m doing them for my new solo album “Permanent Vacation”. Listening to my music is like going on a permanent vacation. It only ends when you hit stop baby. Even if your ears are ringing and you’re bleeding out nose throat and them too, you are still in fucking paradise because I said so.

I’m the best singer ever said Rollin’ Stone magazine so why wouldn’t it be a vacation? Even if you’re fucking at work and listening to me on your headphones while you’re working it’s still a vacation. God says so. I have the most songs on Grooveshark. I cant be beat. I got more money than A&P and Mcdonald’s combined. So much revenue! Look at me, I’m a territorial wasp guarding my honey. U my honey babe. Best tracks: “In the Morning I Will See You, Darling”, “Easy (Like a Fuck)”, “EARS ARE RING, EARS ARE RINGING”, “This Bitch Will Win Me an Oscar”, “Letterman Screw” & “Cosby’s Concoctions (No Woman No Cry)”

Back when I stopped writing songs I had to think of ways to A) make money 2) stay relevant to the older generation and III) appeal to a young new audience in today’s youth. Today’s youth don’t know old songs like I know you, babe, so I can do covers and they think it’s my original. Babe, this is even better baby. I do covers of cover songs. I make them my own from the womb of Mike Patten. I make it funny:

“Deep dreams are made of this
Who am I to take a piss
I traveled the world with my uncle Chris
Everybody looking for Patten”

And I do the motherfucking Manson version babe. Patten doing Manson doing Lenny. I do other covers of Manson’s covers too. I do Cash’s “Hurt” too, girl:

“What have I become?
A babybabe.
Everyone I know
Doobie-doe, dibby-dabe
And I can have it all
Because mom said so
I will be your balls
I will make you fall(s).”

So many songs! This album is pretty epic. And It’s trippy too. I do a Howard Stern song, a Philidelphia Eagles song, And Pearl Jam’s “Evenflow” covered by Evenflo. I didn’t know how to make songs anymore so that’s what I did. I forgot to release it though. Whoops! Here it is now. It’s cool. I was on acid when they took the picture of me on the album cover. That’s why I look so weird! Give this puppy a shot. I know it’s pretty good. Best renditions: “PAINt it Black”, “Luvsong”, “Put up a Fucking Lot”, “I’m on My Way Home Sweet Home and U Ain’t Ever Gonna Touch Me Again, Babe” & “The Nurse Who Shoved Me (feat. Dido)”

Attention all customers: There are plenty of babybabes out there who think I’ve been slacking like a monkey. I don’t play music anymore and I forgot how to read notes. I sing like a fucking psycho though. If you don’t believe in Mike Patten, then you can just leave now. No dumbs allowed. Let me read some of my scripture:

“The day Jesus peed on the Gregorian sunflower, Mike Patten was born. He licked the palm of Faith No More and travelled into the anus of Tomahawk. He then, swooped into the heavens, ate beer with Jesus, and predated on yellow archangels.

Now he brings joy to men, young and old. He’s every woman, it’s all in him.” - The Book of Michael 42:34

So there you have it. I’m the best and you’re dumb. There are constantly two harmonious female vocals sung by me on these songs. It’s a country western album. Time to jet. Best tracks: “I Don’t Grammar”, “King for a Day (Queen for a Lifetime)”, “Mike and the Menagerie (Epic Rap-Off)”, “Lead/Men”, “Shit That Happens With Your Babybabe”