baby: ruki

gazette as family members

ruki: rich goth aunt that’s always buying you expensive brands

uruha: weird uncle that’s always going on about aliens and other conspiracies

reita: the son that always looks like hes up to no good but is actually a cinnamon roll

aoi: the salty grandpa that is fucking done with this family

kai: the proud dad that knows this family is a mess but it’s his mess

  • Ruki: this is a story about me walking to a nearby coffee stand to wake up and what happened to me on my way home.
  • Ruki: so, I was trudging through a wave of salary men on their lunch break when suddenly a man in a suit called out to me and I thought something happened, turns out he had an iPhone case from the goods and was a fan... ! at first I thought it was a strange invitation, sorry about that 🙇 lol
  • Ruki: I’m thinking from the bottom of my heart that we should all do our best at work and I’m also gonna give it my best 🙆
  • have a nice dice, everyone!
The signs as things Ruki has said on the radio
  • Aries: *to Kai* I write a lot of songs about my frustration with your MCs.
  • Taurus: ...so what y'all eat today
  • Gemini: *finishes reading mail* I didn't get any of that
  • Cancer: When I was a kid I...I wanted rice...I wanted carbs...
  • Leo: When I watch a movie and it wasn't interesting, I experience trauma.
  • Virgo: ...*mumbles* shvved psssy
  • Libra: I'm fine being unemployed if my girlfriend wants to pay my bills tbh
  • Scorpio: You know what's even scarier than ghosts? Living humans.
  • Sagittarius: *pen clicking incessantly*
  • Capricorn: I want more extreme questions. Ask your mom to pick between your dad and another man.
  • Aquarius: The worst is when...girls uh, bend down and...you know...they got their underwear...and it's sticking out around their hips...what do you do ???
  • Pisces: HUHUHHHUHUHHHHU