baby-hate

can’t take my eyes off you

Bitty’s in the kitchen, of course, when Simone starts screaming.

(Their little girl has a powerful set of lungs.)

She’s eight months now, which means she’s already on a walker, can almost sit up completely by herself, hates her baby food half the time and loves it so much the other, and also, they can leave her alone for a little while before she starts throwing a fit. Bitty had barely gotten any time to bake in the last few months, so he was only taking advantage of the fact that Simone can now wander happily about her nursery in her new walker while his wonderful, gorgeous, generous husband is curled up in the armchair in the corner, keeping an eye on her. It was all going pretty well—Bitty’s now working on his second pie—until the wailing started.

The other thing you have to know about Simone Bittle-Zimmermann is that Bitty is her favorite. Jack has been trying his hardest to be at home as much as possible, and he’s, well, honestly, he’s been amazing at it, but whenever Jack tries to pick her up when she’s crying, it takes her a while to respond. So when she starts screaming bloody murder, Bitty springs into action. He turns around quickly to rinse his hands and quickly looks around for a towel. When he doesn’t spot one on the counter, he groans exasperatedly and wipes his hands down the front of his apron instead, before ripping it off and taking the stairs two steps at a time. He’s halfway up and about to call Jack’s name when the wailing abruptly and inexplicably ceases.

Bitty stops dead on the staircase, panic flooding his bloodstream. Not that he didn’t trust Jack, but Simone is notorious for crying for at least two minutes at a time (yes, they’d timed), and even then, it was never immediate, especially if she’d just been fed, which was the case at hand. Her crying receded slowly, in waves and small hiccups, after she’d been held and cradled. He stayed quiet and listened for any other suspicious sounds from the nursery, but—nothing.

Figuring the silence was a sign that Jack probably (at least) had things under control, Bitty continued up the stairs at a normal pace until he reached the nursery. Creaking the door open, he braced himself for every possible worst case scenario, and almost shocked himself still when he heard—soft humming? And giggling?

Jack has his back turned from the door, but he had Simone propped up on his right arm, her right hand curled around his left thumb as they sway back and forth to the song he’s singing softly, under his breath. Like a waltz, just for the two of them. From his place in the doorway, Bitty can just barely make out the words Jack’s singing —

You’re just too good to be true,
Can’t take my eyes off you

It’s a scene straight out of Ten Things, Bitty thinks to himself as a grin spreads across his face. Jack’s quiet baritone takes over the small room, singing directly down at his daughter in his arms, and Bitty falls in love with him all over again right then and there. Simone squeaks in delight as Jack goes on, unaware that they’ve gained an audience, and Bitty watches them with his heart so full, he feels like his chest could burst any second.

Jack locks eyes with Bitty as he gently spins them around, making Simone giggle, and he gives Bitty a small smile around the lyrics as he continues to sing. Despite himself, Bitty flushes madly, grinning widely up at his husband, who winks at him conspiratorially.

Oh, pretty baby
Don’t bring me down, I pray
Oh, pretty baby
Now that I’ve found you, stay
And let me love you, baby
Let me love you

There was a time when Bitty never let himself dream he could have this, any of this—not the successful career, not the beautiful house, not the gorgeous, loving husband, not the perfect little daughter. Standing there, watching his husband dance with and sing to their eight-month-old daughter, he couldn’t help but agree—his life was just too good to be true.

At long last, love has arrived
And I thank God I’m alive
You’re just too good to be true
Can’t take my eyes off you

Jack ends the song with a flourish, bouncing Simone on his forearm and catching her with both hands, pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek. “Look who’s here,” he says to her, turning her in Bitty’s direction. Right on cue, Bitty scrunches his face up, which always makes her smile, holding his hands out to her as he approached them. Jack passes her on to Bitty carefully, and Bitty carries her with one arm to take Jack’s hand with his free one.

“And where did you learn that little trick, hm?” he asks Jack, who smirks mischievously in response, a huge contrast to the softness in his eyes.

“Why don’t you ask Simmy over here?” Jack says, booping Simone’s nose. She shrieks happily, squirming in Bitty’s arms.

Bitty smiles down at the bundle of joy he’s holding, leaning down to kiss her on the forehead. “I love you, baby girl,” he coos, and then he looks up at Jack, who now has his arms wrapped around his waist. “Thank you, baby,” he says, and Jack leans down to press a kiss to his crown.

“Got your back,” Jack says into his hair.

And right there, in that moment, it’s all too good to be true, but with Jack’s solid presence and Simone’s immense warmth grounding him—

He’s so thankful that he has this. He knows he’ll never let this go.

anonymous asked:

so you know how toddlers are like little shits and manipulative to get what they want? could you imagine the first time Bucky's kid said she hated him bc Bucky wouldn't let her do something/have something he would probably nearly die and you'd have to reason w him like Bucky no she didn't mean that she just really wanted the dessert you cannot buy her a three tier cake now or she'll start saying she hates you any time she wants something

“But baby, she said she hates me” Bucky whines, looking up cake places online. 

Daddy Wednesday™

Jealousy meme

requested by @momokitty27​! i set it up into a few different categories so it’s not just for couples but for a whole range of relationships!

for couples

  • “I noticed them checking you out.”
  • “Were you checking them out?”
  • “So… they’re good-looking, right?”
  • “Don’t lie to me and say you don’t think they’re hot.”
  • “Just admit that you like them.”
  • “Come on; even I know that they’re hotter than me.”
  • “It’s not fair that they get to be around you all day and I don’t.”
  • “They were hitting on you.”
  • ‘I know you liked it when they were hitting on you.”
  • “Would you like me more if I was more like them?”
  • “They’re not (funnier / cuter / better looking ) than me, are they?”
  • “Are you going to leave me for them?”
  • “Would you leave me for them if you had the chance?”

for characters talking to their unrequited crush

  • “You deserve better than them.”
  • “They’re not even that good-looking.”
  • “What do you see in them?”
  • “Why do you stay with them?”
  • “Wanna tell me what they did to upset you this time?”
  • “If I had someone as wonderful as you, I would (never forget our anniversaries / always cherish you / etc).”
  • “You should just leave them.”

for characters talking about their ex

  • “I wonder what they’re doing right now.”
  • “Their new (boyfriend / girlfriend / datemate) isn’t right for them.”
  • “I can’t stop thinking about them with their new (boyfriend / girlfriend / datemate).”
  • “They moved on so quickly.”
  • “I get angry thinking about anyone else having them, even though I don’t have them myself.”
  • “Do you think they were cheating on me with their new (boyfriend / girlfriend / datemate) before we broke up?”
  • “They never looked at me like they look at them.”

for friends

  • “I noticed you hanging out with (character’s name) lately.”
  • “You hung out with them and didn’t invite me?”
  • “I feel like a third-wheel.”
  • “They’re pretty fun, right?”
  • “Maybe I shouldn’t come and let you two hang out together instead.”
  • “I know that they’re more interesting than me.”
  • “You two have more in common, anyways.”
  • “It’s alright; I have other friends.”

for children characters talking to their parents

  • “No! I don’t want a new (brother / sister)!”
  • “You like (sibling’s name) more than me.”
  • “If I get a new (brother / sister), you’re going to love them more.”
  • “We haven’t played together since you had the baby.”
  • “I hate my (brother / sister)!”
  • “They’re not better than me! They can’t even use the bathroom right!”

random

  • “Am I hotter than that person?”
  • “So many people have achieved so much by this age, yet here I am.”
  • “I’m a better (cook / surfer / etc) than them.”
  • “They’re not even that good at (cooking / surfing / etc)…”
  • “I look better in this than them, right?”
  • “Do you think I could pull off that (hat / dress / etc) like them?”
  • “Whatever; I’m not jealous.”

so i was talking with @turianmailman about what if the kids in class 1A had to do that thing where they have to take care of a fake baby and

  • Izuku accidentally names his Deku. he can’t change it. is somewhat ok at taking care of the baby but it comes back a little worse for wear
  • Aoyama is just. bad at this. the baby hates his room. he tries to fix it by adding more sparkles. it makes things worse
  • Mina accidentally melts part of her baby. also part of Aoyama’s baby
  • Tokoyami gets a giant egg instead of a baby. it hatches by the end of the project and inside there’s a little Present Mic plush. he doesn’t know how to feel about this
  • Sero is actually?? really good at this??? he swaddles the baby in his tape and tapes it to his chest like a proud papa and gets weirdly over protective of his child
  • Tsuyu is great at this b/c she’s had to take care of her younger siblings since forever
  • Tooru loves dressing her baby up all the time
  • Shouji is also really really good at this and has absolutely no trouble with the baby b/c of his extra hands
  • Iida is really good at the technical stuff but the emotional stuff still kinda stumps him. he’s the fastest diaper changer in the entire class. 
  • Momo is the most loving mother in the whole class and treats the baby like her own and the class has never seen her look so happy and content and cute it’s so heartwarming to see. the only thing she struggles with is making the baby laugh/entertaining it
  • Mineta stuck his to a wall on the first day and forgot about it
  • Satou is also really really good at this????? he never had any problems at all he’s just very good with the baby
  • Kirishima gets one of the best grades in the class b/c he’s also just. really good with babies apparently??? 
  • Jirou suffers because she can hear it’s cries louder than anyone else thanks to her quirk and desperately tries not to destroy it with a sound wave and does a fairly good job of taking care of it otherwise
  • Ochako is fairly decent at taking care of her’s too, but she can be clumsy and forgetful at times so the baby comes back a little roughed up, but fine overall
  • everything Todoroki does is unintentionally funny to the baby and he has absolutely no clue why
  • Ojirou uses his tail to hold the baby most of the time and he’s also a really good papa to it. a very loving and sweet papa
  • Denki accidentally destroyed his during the first week
  • Kouda is very kind and patient with his baby b/c to him it’s just like caring for baby animals
  • Bakugou was the only person not allowed to do his project alone because without supervision there’s a 98% chance that when it cried he’d throw the baby at the wall repeatedly until it broke or blow it up out of anger and he’d fail the entire project, so he’s forced to partner up with someone. (the idea we had is Ochako b/c she’s 13th in the class and really really really needs a good grade and isn’t afraid to work with Bakugou)

based on this post where lardo and shitty are accidentally pregnant

She was five weeks in and nothing was showing, but she’d been puking almost everyday and had refused Bitty’s pumpkin pie yesterday. Lardo hadn’t told her mom yet, and Shitty refuses to tell anything to his father, but she knows that his mother knew. Jack had called her immediately after Shitty freaked and told him a week ago, before freaking out himself and telling Bitty, who had broken into their apartment in order to make sure she was okay.

“I’m okay, people should stop asking me if I was okay, I’m pregnant, not sick.” She complained to Jack, who only answered by giving a silent nod.

“Shitty’s freaking out,” Jack said instead.

“I know.” She groaned and put her face in her hands. A moment of silence passed between the two before she lifted her head again. “I don’t want to chain him down like this or jerk him around emotionally. I know he wants me to keep it.”

“He wants whatever you want,” Jack said.

She knew that, but she could also read Shitty well enough to know that he was ecstatic and wanted nothing more than to have her keep it. And the scary thing was, she could also feel herself being as excited as he is.

“How are the two of us even remotely qualified to be parents? He’s just starting his job, and I have my job.” And Lardo wasn’t sure that her bosses would let her take a maternity leave. And even more terrifyingly, she just realized that she wasn’t on the life track that she had envisioned for herself with this job. Sports management paid a lot, and Lardo knew she was on the fast track to a good promotion, but now this forced her to look at her life, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to spend it all on picking up after athletes. But she wasn’t sure if she could provide proper care if she didn’t have this high paying position. And it was a downward spiraling mess of disaster.

It was as if Jack could read her mind, or at least the mood in her mind, because he puts a hand on her shoulder and leaned back on the sofa that they were sitting at.

“Maybe you’re thinking too much,” he said. “Just concentrate on whether or not you want to keep it, and trust in your friends to help you no matter which choice it is. We’re a team.”

She sniffed, and suddenly Jack found himself with an armful of Lardo. She let her tears and snot stain his sweater, and he held her through her trembling. When the two of them extricated themselves from their situation, Jack extended a fist, and Lardo bumped it.

“Got your back,” they said together.

Keep reading

during and after the Vietnam war, there wasn’t just anti-war sentiments, there were anti-soldier sentiments. people would call veterans who wore their uniforms in public baby killers.

people didn’t hate soldiers during Vietnam for no reason. they hated the soldiers because they would turn on the tv and see what they were doing.

the Vietnam war was the first and last American war to be televised.

now we “respect the troops” and “support the troops” and they are “heroes” but it’s not because their actions have changed; if anything soldiers in the US army have less risk of harm to themselves then ever, while civilian death rates in war have skyrocketed.

the difference is that now we have been judged unworthy to know what is going on in our wars, that we have been judged unworthy of seeing what they’re doing, and then we’re surprised when they come home and beat their wives and kids, or commit hate crimes against black people, or shoot up a school.

so, yeah, big deal about people saying “baby killer” being soldierphobia.

Jeff Atkins Imagine #1

Yay im adding 13rw to my list of imagine… things anyways

I hope this is good because I legit love jeff but tony is my fav… and HE DESERVED BETTER and this takes place before Hannah and Jeff…. *cries*

~~

Originally posted by cynicalsunset

    Most of the time, you were the one in the relationship to get extremely mad. Sometimes your boyfriend Jeff was too nice for you, too calm for everything and that made you angry sometimes. Especially when you wanted him to yell and let his true feelings out. You could see veins throbbing in his muscular body when you two fought and it made you worried that one day he would explode. You wanted Jeff to get mad at you because it worried you if he didn’t.

And one day you had enough. You two (more like just you) had been fighting over the fact that Jeff seemed to be spending more time with Clay and his other friends more than he had been with you, and all Jeff could do was sigh and tell you he was sorry. 

“Y/N, baby I’m sorry. Clay’s been hanging out with Hannah and I know he likes her and I just want him to be happy. He hasn’t liked someone this much since kinder.” Jeff said as he watched you pace in the library, where Clay had just left from after helping him with his paper. 

There he was, giving valid excuses. Excuses that you actually thought were cute and didn’t want to stop, but you were so angry that he just didn’t tell you off. You would have liked it better. You hated that you were the bad guy in the relationship. 

“Come on, baby.” Jeff said, getting up from his seat and wrapping his arms around you from behind. He rested his chin on your shoulder as you stared ahead. “I’m sorry. I’ll take you to the movies tonight if you want? I’ll skip one practice just for you. The new Ouija movie came out yesterday and I know you want to see it.” 

You felt the heat bubble under your skin as you thought of his kindness, and when you didn’t answer Jeff placed a kiss on your temple. “You know I would spend more time with you if I could, Y/N. Please…”

“Jeff, stop!” You said sharply, pulling away. He looked at you while his jaw tightened. You could tell he was angry that you were still angry. You knew he hated that he was being honest and you were still being a bitch, and you hated yourself for walking away too. 

You ran out of the library, running at the back of Clay’s retreating backside, calling out his name. “Clay, wait up!” 

Clay turned around with his eyebrows furrowed, his mouth open slightly. “Hey, Y/N… weren’t you just fighting with Jeff?” 

“Jensen when you witness someone get into a fight you don’t ask questions three seconds later.” You sighed, before laughing at his expression. 

“Right.” He said, nodding and then continuing to walk. You walked with him, only glancing back slightly to see that Jeff was standing at the door of the library with his arms crossed. 

You turned away quickly. “You want to go to Rosie’s with me? My treat.” You asked Clay, fixing your shirt. 

“Uh, well,” Clay looked back as well but you stayed looking ahead. “I have work at seven so…” 

“It doesn’t take that long to eat a meal, Jensen. Come on.” You hooked your elbow with his and put on a fake smile, beginning to tease him about Hannah, who just so happened to be one of your new friends. 

~

It had been a few days since your fight with Jeff, and since then you had been ignoring him to your greatest extent. You wanted him to confront you, to tell you you were being a bitch, which three people had told you so far. You wanted Jeff to act normal. But yet despite the severe case of bitchiness you were showing him, Jeff still went out of his way to send you goodnight, goodmorning, and just in general cute texts. He kept apologizing, but that’s not what you wanted. You wanted him to be a human and get angry and yell, sometimes his perfect collect and physique got you. Sometimes it made you feel insecure because you weren’t like Jeff and you felt like you didn’t deserve him. Jeff deserved better

But on this particular day, after three consecutive days that you had been ignoring Jeff, you guessed it got too much for him. It was after a baseball game, and the minute that the game had ended and Jeff had won the game for the team you shot out of your seat like the rest of the crowd, yelling loudly. 

You threw your half eaten hot dog to the ground and ran off of the bleachers as the baseball team was walking to the locker rooms. Bryce Walker, a friend of Jeff’s, was walking right in front of your smiling boyfriend, both of them covered in red dirt and giving high fives away like candy. 

“Bryce!” You yelled out, catching the attention of both men. This was your last try at getting Jeff mad. At giving him a chance to explode on you. At being a little less perfect. 

“Y/N?” Bryce said with a little confusion and a lot of excitement. He held out his arms hesitantly and you shrugged before giving him a giant hug, laughing loudly. 

“Good game, Bryce! You did good out there.” Your eyes went wide when his hands lingered too low on your waist, instantly pushing him a little with laughter. “Any plans for celebration? I’ve got weed.” 

Bryce raised his eyebrows and grinned, twisting his bat in his hands. “Wow, didn’t know you smoked, Y/N! Well me and the guys are getting together for a little fun stuff. The hot tub will definitely be put to good use. Any chance you wanna share the stuff?” 

You could see Jeff out of the corner of your eye, his neck and temple throbbing with veins. He was getting angry. You still ignored him. 

“Hell yeah, I’ve got a new two piece I have to show off.” You winked cheekily and Bryce coughed loudly. 

“Of course your boyfriend would be coming too.” He said while glancing at Jeff. 

“So?” 

It all happened in a flash, one second you were walking next to Bryce and the next there was the clatter of a bat and you were swept off of your feet and thrown over someone’s back. It was Jeff and he was completely ditching his route to the locker rooms and was carrying you the direction of the parking lot, which was slowly clearing out. 

“We still on?” Bryce called out. 

You nodded while struggling in Jeff’s tight grip. Jesus, you had a good view of his ass and muscular arms. “Fuck,” You cursed. “Jeff, ease up a bit on the grip, I bruise easily.” 

Jeff said nothing but obliged to your request, his breathing hard and fast. Honestly, you were scared a little bit. You knew this is what you had wanted, but you didn’t exactly know what was in store for you. Was he going to break up with you? Murder you and throw your body in a ditch. Angry Jeff was unpredictable because he hardly ever existed. 

When you two arrived at his car he set you down a little roughly, throwing his baseball cap off of his head and running his fingers through his hair. “What did I do?” He asked softly despite his rough demeanor. 

You thought you had heard wrong. “What?” 

“WHAT DID I DO?” Jeff yelled loudly, his face going red. “WHAT DID I DO TO MAKE YOU SO COLD TOWARDS ME! I LOVE YOU, BUT Lately you’ve been acting like such a- such a- BITCH!” 

Part of you was relieved that he had called you that, but not when the guilt suddenly ate his features. “NO- no, Jeff! It wasn’t you oh MY GOD! It was me, Jeff, I was a bitch, I am a bitch don’t apologize.” 

“No, you’re not oh my God, I’m so-” 

“JEFF! Please don’t apologize! Do something! Call me names, yell at me, look at this point I don’t care! Punch me, let out your anger, Jeff! God, I hate seeing you like this, angry but you don’t do anything.” 

Jeff was confused, his chest heaving. “Baby, you know i hate being angry. It makes me feel like a bad person.” 

You let out a huge breath of air as you turned around in a circle, tugging at the roots of your hair. “Jeff,God, Jeff does that mean I’m a bad person? Jeff, you’re human it’s okay to be mad and it’s okay to yell every once in a while. Do you know how it makes me feel when you can do everything with so much kindness and positivity? It makes me feel insecure because I’m not as pure as you and I’m a big bitch. God, I love you, Jeff, but please just get angry at me. It is my fault.” 

Jeff stood there for a second, staring at you and processing your words. His eyes gazed over your face and you shifted uncomfortably after a second. Then, without warning he surged forward and kissed you sweetly and despite his sweaty hands and body he tasted like mint. 

When he pulled back he smiled and shook his head. “You ignored me for three whole days because you were angry that I never get angry? That’s kind of ridiculous, babe. Listen, I do these things, I put up with you even when you’re irrational because I know you feel bad when you do it. I know that it doesn’t matter how long it takes you always apologize. Let me guess this way your last attempt?” 

You grumbled slightly because Jeff was grinning down at you now, his hands on your shoulders as his fingers squeezed you lightly. “Yes.” 

“Baby, in so many ways it makes you better than me, because I bottle those emotions up. One day I told my mom off because I was angry at Zach and I didn’t do anything about it. He doesn’t know that breaking my lucky bat was wrong because he thought I was okay with it, because I didn’t get angry. Please, Y/N, don’t feel insecure with me. We’re both a little rusty on our humanity skills baby.” 

You nodded and Jeff did so too, placing his forehead across yours as he smiled before enveloping your lips in his, his teeth grazing your bottom lip teasingly. “I love you, Jeff.” 

“I love you too, Y/N.” 

“More than anything in the world.” You both said together before kissing once more.

“Now let me tell you how hot you look when you’re yelling, Jeff.” 

(PLS FEEDBACK IF I SHOULD DO MORE)(not edited)

Originally posted by sadiaxxstylesxxstiles

MY JOHNLOCK FIC REC LIST
  1. Absolutely all of these fics have happy endings. I can’t read hardcore angst or I’ll die. I mean it. 
  2. If there are any other relationships in these fics then it’ll be minor but Johnlock is def front and center and endgame for all of them.
  3. I’ve avoided reccing the really famous Johnlock fics. I love them but all these fics need more love cause they’re all so amazing! 
  4. 99% of these fics are bottomlock but since I don’t care who bottoms or who tops (as long as they fuck and as long as they are in character) (that means no DFP Sherlock) (or Baby Princess John) so if you have a problem with toplock in general, tread carefully.
  5. All of these fics are from AO3. 
  6. Also please excuse my crappy summaries.
  7. Be sure to read all the tags before reading!


EXPLICIT 

  • The Dialogue of John and Sherlock Series by cwb - Sherlock decides that he and John are in a romantic relationship. John tries to educate Sherlock on what that actually means. (this is the cutest, Sherlock is literally hopeless)
  • The Bachelors’ Handfasting by jurgbury - 1800s Scotland where younger Sherlock and older John are in an arranged marriage. (John is so fucking hot in this I want to die)
  • Thirteen Dances (Or, The Doctor Dances) by Knackorcraft - John can dance!!!
  • Hellfire by testosterone_tea - Magical Realism! John is a Berserker (powerful fire monster thing that’s supposed to be extinct) and is believed to be a threat to the country and Mycroft wants him held captive so of course Mage Sherlock is like NO.
  • Bury the Bells by unknownsister - Parade’s End AU. 
  • The Kepler Problem by kinklock - Alienlock and space-explorer/worker/maintainer/something John! (all of Kinklock’s fics are awesome af really)
  • The High Tide Series by stardust_made - A rich arse of a bloke tries to woo a clueless John and Sherlock just about loses his mind I LOVE JEALOUS SHERLOCK (The first story is rated T but the other two are E so…) (my fave)
  • The Haunting of Sherlock Holmes by MapleleafCameo - Sherlock investigates a 60 year old disappearance in the countryside and gets a shock along the way. (Not angsty, don’t worry)
  • The Life that is Waiting For by Youameliakaleigh - Sherlock is the son of a Goddess (so basically a demigod) and John is his trusty guardian/teacher/person/Sun sentinel okay just read!
  • Neighbours by thelookyouredoingthelookagain - John moves into 22IC and Sherlock is very silly, as he always is. 
  • Irrational and Sentimental Series by apliddell - Post S3 lovely Johnlock sweetness.
  • Intimacy Series by sussexbound (SamanthaLenore) - Love confessions and then smut! (First story is T later story is E) 
  • Never Have I Ever by hudders-and-hiddles (huddersandhiddles) - The boys play Never Have I Ever with some of the Met and they get together cause John and Sherlock are so dumb that it takes alcohol and a truth game for them to realize that their feelings are REQUITED DAMN IT okay okay I’m sorry canon stresses me out.
  • First and Only by crimsonwinter - Babylock to Kidlock to Teenlock to Unilock, growing up with John. WIP
  • A Study in Movement by Supernova12 - Teen rugby John is working on an art project and needs to improve drawing movement so he draws teen ballet Sherlock. 
  • A Hard Day’s Night by 221Btls - John the Knight and Sherlock the peasant. WIP
  • To the Sticking Place by blueink3 - John and Sherlock as theatre actors, both acting as the main roles in a Hamlet production! WIP (I don’t know why this doesn’t get more love, this is the theatre version of Performance In A Leading Role!) (my fave) 
  • How Do You Know? by LaurieRoar - John having sex with Virgin Sherlock to see whether or not his claim that he doesn’t like sex is true. (my fave) (but I hardly ever see this recced) (super fucking hot)
  • Well Begun Is Half Done by Avice - Sherlock tryna seduce John but John’s like “Fuck that, let’s get down to it”. (Avice’s fics are severely underrated, they are all awesome)
  • Angel Hair Series by justacookieofacumberbatch (buffyholic) - Successful surgeon John and waiter Sherlock get it on wohoho. WIP
  • A Study in Sex Series by Castiel_For_King - John teaching Sherlock The Ways of Sex.
  • The City of Dreams Series by bittergreens - Lots of sex? Lol.
  • Spinning by Tispy-the-Minx (ComeAlongPond14) - Seventeen-year-old John is assigned to Sherlock’s care.
  • For you, there’s only me by shock_blanket - So much pining the boys are idiots I swear to God.
  • Six Degrees of Separation by testosterone_tea - Sherlock highkey wants to meet John but treats it all like a ridiculous experiment to stay cool, I could kill him, he’s so ridiculous. (testosterone_tea is awesome, their fics need more love)
  • Lovesick by distantstarlight - Sherlock getting sick and John taking care of him and also sex.
  • The Republic of Heaven by Blind_Author - His Dark Materials AU. WIP (okay so this is my fave out of all my faves but it hasn’t been updated in forever but I refuse to believe it’s been abandoned or else I’ll perish) (the fave)
  • Imaginary Pictures by crossroads - Teenlock falling in love with John. Loads of pining. (this needs more love)
  • In Care Of by quietasasleepingarmy -  John writes instructions for Sherlock’s ‘lover’ on how to care for him aka I hate them PLEASE DIE.
  • In A Changing Age by allonsys_girl -  Sherlock wakes up in the 19th century, with no idea how he got there aka I love them I’M GONNA DIE.
  • Pretending to Be by 221BJen (jcoz1701) - John is hired to track down Sherlock, who is an asset to The Centre, a secret agency.
  • The Wrong Wagon by DancingGrimm - Molly starts crushing on John instead of Sherlock when the doctor saved her life. Sherlock (aka the gay baby loser that I hate) notices and just about goes insane.
  • Angel With A Fiddle by Remy_Writes5 - Young soldier John meets violinist Sherlock at a carnival the day before he is to be deployed to Germany to serve in World War 1.
  • The Boffin and the Bachelor by starrysummernights - Uh… John and Sherlock getting together and there’s some fluff and some smut and a bit of angst? (Idk how to summarize this. Really good, though)
  • Fool For You by sheerrloockk - Poor clueless Sherlock proposes to John on April Fools’ Day by accident.
  • Operation Inked by QuinnAnderson - John has a tattoo and Sherlock makes it his mission to see it cause he dumb.
  • Discerning Tastes by Irrevocably_Sherlocked - Sherlock tries to get some good Scotch for Mycroft’s birthday but is faced with a hot, kilt-wearing John and practically loses all his genius because of it. (Irrevocably_Sherlocked’s fics need more attention cause they are the bombdotcom)
  • Lightning and Sea Glass by 221b_careful_what_you_wish_for - Frankenlock AU. (This is a bit angsty so watch out)
  • In Nomine by Atiki - Sherlock can only manage to say John’s name when they have sex. (Sherlock is too cute, I will perish)
  • See Recipe for Details by pandoras_chaos - John makes a list of things Sherlock likes to eat. (Reading this made me hungry. For food. Obvs)


MATURE

  • Tell it Like it is by testosterone_tea -  Sherlock and John go out to the pub with some of the officers from Scotland Yard and played some games while they’re at it. (This is fucking hilarious) 
  • The Semantics of Crop Circle Formation: a case study by Sherlock Holmes [unpublished] by canolacrush - John and Sherlock are investigating a weird extraterrestrial-like case but for once, John knows more about it than Sherlock does wink wink read it! (my fave) (this needs heaps more love wtf!!!)
  • My Life Had Stood A Loaded Gun by HeartOfTheMirror - Magical Realism! John is a Healer. (I hate Mycroft in this)
  • Aparecium by 1electricpirate - Potterlock! Sherlock is a Muggle but John isn’t. WIP
  • Enigma by khorazir - The Imitation Game-esque fic. WIP
  • Splatter Patterns by beezee - John is an artist and Sherlock is an art critic.
  • Apprehension by BashfulBunny (Aequoreavictoria) - John is hired to kidnap Sherlock but things go awry obvs. WIP
  • Captains of Industry series by 221b_hound - John is a hot barista and Sherlock is, of course, a fumbling mess. (This series is awesome, the whole gang is here, working close by.)
  • where the good things grow by anchors - Sherlock has a magic garden he uses to brew tea and John has a tea shop. (This fic is so sweettttt and deserves more love)
  • Down with this Ship by FrostedFlame (PinkOrchid) - Sherlock takes John to a gay bar expecting him to be uncomfortable but BAM John the Raging Bisexual comes out to play and shocks the fuck out of the detective.
  • The Thin Line by Odamaki - Sherlock and John in a super snug closet  and John gets a raging boner lolllllllll.
  • The Frost Child by twistedthicket1 - Everyone have gifts and John keeps his a secret but Sherlock finds out. (my fave)
  • Dawn Before the Rest of the World Series by PoppyAlexander - 1920s England, butler Sherlock and gardener John. (John is so romantic in this, I want to cry)
  • Dreamer by MagdaTheMagpie - After Afghanistan, John keeps dreaming about Sherlock dying and does everything he can to stop it. (my fave)
  • ROT-13 by berlynn_wohl -  John the spaceman crashes his pod in Sherlock the alien’s planet where he meets Sherlock and fuck it’s hilarious just read.
  • Don’t Underestimate John Watson by BakerTumblings - John is offered the role of Lester Nygaard in Fargo and basically never underestimate him, for reals.
  • Brother Mine by annabagnell - Parentlock and MPreg! Sherlock gives birth to a baby much to the impatience and delight of excited big sister Michaela (This is so sweet)
  • Care of Magical Creatures by stillaseeker - Some Potterlock domestic cuteness and hilarity. 
  • Ink and Honour Series by moonblossom - 1800s. Mrs. Hudson takes in young Captain John Watson who was injured in the Napoleonic wars alongside her young ward Sherlock. (first story is M but the ratings after that are all over the place so read tags) 


TEEN AND UP AUDIENCES 

  • Love or What You Will by miss_frankenstein - John is an English professor and Sherlock is a PhD student assigned to be his TA. (I just… I love this one so much… I will die) (my fave) (this fic introduced me to my favourite poem, Sylvia Plath’s Mad Girl’s Love Song)
  • Bookshop Series by alivingfire - John meets Sherlock at a bookshop.
  • The Master of Latham Hall by Kryptaria - John and Sherlock investigates murders at Latham Hall and is in for a bit of a shock. (A bit of angst but not in regards to John and Sherlock) (I love you. I will always love you. God, I die every time)
  • A Haunted House series by cassyl - Major Character Deaths but not angsty. (Can’t say anything more cause spoilers but seriously, don’t worry, just read)
  • Once Upon a Beast Becoming by antietamfalls - Sherlock is an ancient being cursed by a Druid and John is the only person who can rid him of it. (loveeeeeeeee)
  • between each beat are words unsaid by darcylindbergh, hudders-and-hiddles (huddersandhiddles) -  On their wedding night, John and Sherlock gift each other with a collection of writings they wrote about the other. (Sweet af)  
  • Deleted Files Series by oh_my_stars_and_sky - Every time Sherlock deletes something from his Mind Palace it shows up in John’s mind. WIP
  • Four Shots Series by Opy3332 - John works at a Starbucks at SIS Headquarters and meets Sherlock.
  • Quality of Life Series by cleflink - John has great healing powers! WIP
  • Truth or Consequences Series by Majela - John gives Sherlock a taste of his own medicine in regards to drugging people without their consent.
  • Witness Protection by missilemuse -  John used to be Jim’s fiance but he finds out about him being super evil and all and testifies against him. He meets Sherlock and ya know: lurve. (my fave)
  • The Red Dianthus by kinklock -  The boys investigate a mysterious disappearance in a supposedly haunted house, and get much more than they bargained for.  
  • Watch What They Photograph Series by Itsallfine - “If you want to learn what someone fears losing, watch what they photograph.” (First two stories are rated T the last is E)
  • A Different Kind of Complication by Atisenia - John, living alone in 221B, started getting letters addressed to Sherlock.
  • Without a Doubt by prettysailorsoldier - 1950s Teenlock.
  • The Strait of Juan de Fuca by mightypog - Post Reichenbach. John is distant from Sherlock even though he has forgiven him and Sherlock tries hard to fix their friendship.
  • Turbulence in the Sky by esplanade - Sherlock wants to tell John how he feels about him but he keeps spouting bullshit instead oh my poor child…
  • Affectionate Investment by MillieTheFreak - Sherlock and John feeding each other like it’s the most natural thing in the world I LOVE THEM
  • What Would Sherlock Do? Series by EinahSirro - John uses his deductive powers to find out if Sherlock reciprocates his romantic feelings and to seduce him! 


GENERAL AUDIENCES

  • The Contingency Plan by mightypog -  When Sally and Greg prevent Sherlock from committing suicide when he thinks John has been killed, Sherlock and Sally reconsider each other. (bit of angst, nothing heavy) (this is so real like this is exactly how canon Sherlock will react if anything happens to John) (my fave)
  • Evidence by JezebelGoldstone - Angry papa Lestrade comes bounding up to 221B demanding the return of all the evidence Sherlock stole so the detective tells the DI about some of the evidence so he’ll let him keep it. (Sherlock is amazingly sentimental in this, I love him)
  • And as the seasons change, I love you more by Teatrolley -  A year in the lives of John and Sherlock, essentially. (I will bawl my eyes out, this is so… just so! So much) (This isn’t rated so I’ll just put it under here) 


If I’ve mentioned your fic here and you want me to credit you or add a link to your Tumblr or anything like that, let me know! 

I’ll be updating this post regularly as more great fics will inevitably come along. And I’ll always be happy to rec specific fics to anyone and everyone! Just ask. I read Johnlock fanfic 24/7 every single day so might as well utilize it somehow. 

Criminal Minds men as things I've done
  • David Rossi: my first grade teacher yelled at me not to slouch and I was feeling particularly defiant that day so I slid under my desk and laid like that until she removed my overdramatic ass
  • Jason Gideon: when I was 7 I was given a baby to hold and I really hated babies so I held it away from me at arms length
  • Derek Morgan: I once asked a mall santa for world peace
  • Luke Alvez: as a small child I hugged a stranger in 7/11 instead of my dad and played it off by hugging everyone in the store
  • Aaron Hotchner: when they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up at preschool graduation I meant to say a professional/workaholic but what came out of my 4 year old mouth was ”a briefcase”
  • Spencer Reid: as a toddler I named a goldfish long orange boy
  • Stephen Walker: I was alone playing the piano in my high school band room once and a random teacher walked in to tell me it sounded pretty but it was a song from spongebob so I started dying laughing

I’m reading a book about midwifery in New England in the eighteenth century and I’m struck by how pro-woman their treatment of birth was compared to how it’s done today.

Like, it was the norm for labouring women to be surrounded by a midwife and several female friends who all performed some kind of function to aid the woman in delivering her baby safely. Male physicians hated the social tradition and dismissed the gathering of women as facilitating “gossip” and as a hindrance on the rare occasion they attended a birth.

The work of midwives was so valorised that many town maps from this period clearly identify where every midwife was located, and paying the midwife was one of the biggest household expenses alongside taxes.

Midwives developed their own manuscripts full of medicinal remedies for all aspects of reproduction. Birth was managed by women themselves – it was a collective female ritual.

Male obstetricians, motivated in my opinion by a deep-seated envy of women’s reproductive power, began to steal and suppress women’s wisdom around childbirth in the nineteenth century, and by the twentieth century unnecessary medical intervention in childbirth had exploded.

We need to make childbirth woman-centred again.

“...Trois, deux, un… here I come,” Jack called out as he uncovered his eyes.

The living room was predictably empty even though Jack had half expected Annie to default to her usual spot which, was to hide behind the window drapes with her feed sticking out the bottom. Her understanding of object permanence was endearingly hilarious and adorable.

Jack checked behind the couch first to see if she had wedged herself in the space, but when she wasn’t there, he wandered into the hallway, making his way towards the closet in the front hall. It had become Annie’s second favourite hiding place ever since she discovered she could drag her blankets into there to make a fort. Unfortunately for Jack, it was also vacant except for a few jackets and hangers.

“Annnn-ie,” he called out, listening for the tell-tale giggles, but all he could hear was the pitter-patter of rain outside and the distant hum of the refrigerator. After a quick sweep of the main floor, Jack went upstairs to her room, but like the other spots he’d already checked, it was conspicuously empty.

A trickle of fear ran down his spine as he hurried downstairs to confirm that the front, back, and patio doors were all still locked. She was still somewhere in the house, at least, but it was little reassurance as Jack started to realize just how many tiny nooks and crannies a toddler could potentially hide in.

“Annie, come out! Papa’s done playing.” His brain unhelpfully supplied him with flashes of horrifying scenarios, and Jack had to check the laundry room twice to reassure himself that Annie hadn’t trapped herself in the washer or the dryer.

He circled around downstairs again with little luck. “You can have ice cream if you come out.”

He was just about to give up and call Bitty in a full-blown panic when he heard soft shuffling coming from the pantry. Jack quickly pressed the ‘end’ button before the call had a chance to connect.

He dashed into the kitchen and opened the pantry door to find Annie sitting on the floor with an opened package of chocolate chip cookies in her lap. She beamed up at Jack and waved a cookie at him . “Papa!”

“Oh, thank god,” Jack breathed in relief as he quickly scooped her up.

“Found me, Papa!” she shouted delightedly, patting Jack’s face with sticky, chocolate-y hands.

“Don’t ever do that to me again,” he admonished.

“Again! Again!” she crowed.

“No, not again,” Jack said firmly as he brushed the crumbs from her shirt. This was the last time he was ever going to play hide-and-go-seek, if he could help it. He gave her a big smacking kiss on her forehead. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” Then, he added conspiratorially, “And let’s not tell Daddy I lost you for fifteen minutes there, okay?”

Annie’s only response was to giggle at him before cramming the remainder of the cookie in her mouth.

Thanks for reading! More of my writing here!

Greedy ( Jeff Atkins x Reader)

Request : Hiiii can you make a Jeff Adkins smut where he gets jealous because your talking to Zach? Idk lol if you want to😊

A/n: Hey yo was goodie  guys is your girl back with another smut this request was lowkey fun to write idk why but anyways thank you so much for over 500 reads on need a hand and 330+ followers I honestly feel like this was a shitty imagine because it was rushed because i have finals so I’m sorry if you don’t like it I promise not to suck so bad for the next one. Anyways if you’re waiting on the Jason imagine or the rest I’ll try to get them all in before next weekend key word try because finals have me pulling my hair out.

Warnings:Smut sin sin sin more sin just you know sin eating out , slight dominance coming from Jeff? jealousy you know the usual. Also they are juniors in this imagine so 

You and Jeff had never been the fighting type if you guys had a problem you would talk it out in a mature non-violent way. Lately things have changed Jeff wanted to argue with you about the littlest things. When you took to long to answer his messages because you were taking a shower or too busy doing homework. When you didn’t spend enough time with him. When you didn’t show up to his baseball practices. Little things that never bothered Jeff before now let’s not get it twisted you loved spending time with Jeff after all he is your boyfriend for a reason but lately you both have been so stressed and busy looking at colleges and preparing for the SATs that you guys had no time for each other. 

Junior year is a stressful year you both knew and understood each other or at least you thought you did out of nowhere Jeff started acting really possessive and weird towards you. You tried talking to him but he wouldn’t budge to tell you what’s been on his mind. You decided to go to his baseball practice since he was complaining the whole week that you hadn’t gone. It was Friday and honestly all you wanted to do was go home and sleep but you decided to come support your boyfriend. You were making your way towards the field when you spotted your friend Zach .

“Hey y/n” he said as he spotted you

“ oh hey Zach ” you said hugging him

 Change POV 

“Where are you going ?” He asked

“ I’m gonna go watch Jeff practice you know I have to support the boyfriend ” I say giggling

“ ah I’m heading there too I’m waiting for Bryce you want me to walk you ? ” he asks 

“ yea sure why not ” I say smiling

We walk together into the bleachers laughing at dumb jokes zach is making. When we reach the bleachers I look to the field and spot Jeff looking at me I smiled and wave but he just ignored me or maybe he didn’t see me. I shrug it off and take a seat in the bleachers watching the practice until is over. When the coach blows the whistle I run up to the field and hug Jeff he doesn’t return the hug instead he mutters and awkward hi. I give him a concerned look but he just shoves past me going to the locker rooms to change. I decided this needed to stop and I should talk to him. I start walking to the car deciding to wait for him there. A couple of minutes later Jeff comes in the car throwing his duffel bag on the back seat and putting the key in the ignition.

“ Are you coming over today? ” he asks not even looking at me

“ As a matter of facts yes I am there’s obviously something we need to talk about ” Waving my hands In front of me to emphasize my point.

“ I don’t know what you mean there’s nothing to talk about ” he says as he starts to drive to his house. I stay quiet for the rest of the ride.

When we arrived at his house he opened the door letting me in first Jeff might be mad at me and act like a dick sometime but he never looses his manners. I rush upstairs to his room throwing myself on his bed and letting out a frustrated groan. I feel the bed tip and he lays besides me. He grips my waist but I pull away from his hold.

“ what’s wrong babe ?” He says coming closer.

“ I should ask you the same thing since you decided to be a dick one second and then a sweetheart the next” I say standing up and going over to sit in his computer chair.

He start walking towards me he grabs a hold of my wrist and pulls me up pushing our bodies together. I try to get out his grip but it’s not very useful since he’s stronger than me. He pulls me towards the bed and throws me on it.

Pinning me down he starts kissing my collar bone and he whispers “ Do you want to know why I’ve been so moody lately ” he nibbles on my neck

“ Well I mean it’s not like I’ve been asking for the past 2 weeks now ” sarcasm dripping from my voice he might have me pinned down and it’s slowly turning me on but there’s always room for sarcasm.

He cups my face kissing me roughly “ you’ve been spending so much time with Zach the little giggles here and there , laughing at his jokes , hugging him ” he says with a husky tone. “ do you think I don’t notice oh sweetheart , baby girl you have a lot coming if you think you can play with me like that ” he says attacking my collar bone again.

Originally posted by kissing-pleasure

He sucks on my neck harshly marking me moan. He makes his way down my body slowly teasing me.  He suddenly rips my shirt and I gasp.

“OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS THAT SHIRT WAS TWELVE DOLLARS” I say looking at my now ripped shirt.Jeff only smirks and continues kissing down my body.He reaches the hem of my skirt and pulls it off in one swift movement.My heart beats faster as the heat between  my legs starts increasing.

He moves his hands trailing them up and down my bare legs admiring them.I had to admit that would be kind of cute if i wasn’t so eagered for his touch.

He comes back up kissing me passionately and pulls me up to unclasp my bra, He slides it down my hands and throws it across the room.He kisses down my bare stomach reaching the hem of my panties grabbing the elastic and letting it go so it emits a sound.

Originally posted by kissing-pleasure

He pulls my panties down slowly tormenting me and throws them across the room joining my bra.He starts kissing on my thighs and  I close my legs rubbing them together to create some friction Jeff smirks and pulls them apart coming closer to my core but not yet touching it.  I feel his breathing hit my spot and I shiver from anticipation.He suddenly licks a stripe parting my lips apart and a loud moan fall from my  mouth.

“Jeff stop teasing babe” I said whining

“Tell me what you want then” he says rising and eyebrow 

“ I want you to do something” I said whining again

“ and that something is “ he says moving his hand over my thighs 

“ I want you to fuck me with your mouth” I say frustrated “Is that what you wan- OH MY GOD” I couldn’t even finish my sentence he plunged his tongue into me cravingly exploring my insides like his life depended on it.


My hips bucked upward from the pleasure as moans escaped my mouth here and there.I grabbed onto his hair pulling it slightly and he moaned into my core making a waveof pleasure  run through my body, I felt on cloud nine with his mouth working wonder as he gripped my thighs forcefully trying to keep me steady.My eyes rolled back from the pleasure, I could hear myself gasping slowly every time he moved his tongue. He was writing words or maybe the alphabet at this point I couldn’t tell. His appetite didn’t seem to be satisfied every taste he had made him want more.


His greed, urgency and desire all came  together to form a combination I couldn’t explain.I felt myself coming closer as pure bliss kicked in a harmony of melodies falling from my mouth along with some curse words. Jeff plunging his tongue into me ,drawing patterns and pulling me closer all of that combined  pushed me to the edge and I felt a wave of rhapsody run through me I slowly rode out my high thrusting my hips upward as Jeff wiped me clean.

He stood up with a satisfied smirk wiping the corners of his mouth coming closer to my face .He kissed my forehead “ you “ he kissed my left cheek “ know” he kissed my right cheek “ I’m”  he kissed my chin “ greedy “ he kissed my lips passionately “ and that I hate sharing baby so why do you push me “ he says smirking. 

“ I don’t Mr.Atkins” I say in between pants 

He pulls me up by me hair and whispers “ you know you’re mine “

“ I’m all yours my greedy man” I say pulling him in for a kiss.

This life is what you make it. No matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soulmate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.
Pass Out

Requested: Can u do an imagine where u pass out backstage but his management doesn’t let him stop the Show to check on u? and at the end of the Show ur worse?

Your name: submit What is this?

~~~

It’s the middle of Shawn’s concert, and he’s about to be backstage for a few seconds before he goes back on to finish the show. You want to see him while he’s offstage like you normally do, so you’re rushing towards the stage. You hadn’t been feeling very well so you were resting inside of his dressing room instead of watching the show from side stage like you normally do. Because of that, you weren’t near the stage, and you hadn’t realized it was so close to the part in the show where he gets off stage for a bit, so now you’re trying to rush to get to where he’ll walk off soon.

When you’re almost to the area that you want to be to wait for Shawn, you really start to feel light headed. You spot Andrew walking towards you, probably looking for you since you weren’t where you normally are, and he knew that Shawn would be worried if he didn’t see you when he got offstage because you’re always there. While rushing towards Andrew, you just feel everything suddenly go blurry then black.

The next thing you know, you’re waking up in Shawn’s dressing room again. Andrew and Geoff are standing over you, looking down at you with worry. You try to sit up, but Geoff presses down on your shoulder, “Just stay lying down.” He says gently.

Keep reading

Kinks (4) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three

a different form of intoxication (ao3) - moonalive

Summary: dan and phil play around with phil’s favorite kink.

Bang Me Like Those Drums - analphancones

Summary: Phil is the drummer of a band, but how will the lead singer, Kevin, feel when he walks in on Phil banging his younger brother Dan as hard as Phil bangs his drums?

Before The Show - romanticeroticphanfic

Summary: Phil has terrible stage fright before each TATINOF show, and Dan has done everything to try to help his friend, but to no avail. One day, a few hours before the show, Dan decides to try something a little more…kinky.

Call Me Daddy - jilliancares

Summary: Phil asks Dan what his kink is, but Dan doesn’t feel so inclined to tell him.

Dangle - vanillasolitude

Summary: Phil likes it when Dan begs. (And so does Dan). A suspension fic.

Feel Good Inc - mangothatismelancholy

Summary: Dan is your local sexually ambiguous religious boy. Phil is your local bad boy that sleeps with anyone that’ll have him and sins as if second nature. Then there’s also the poor original character that gets caught between them and their ridiculous amount of sexual tension. Threesomes, eh?

Good Job, Baby - analester

Summary: Phil hates Valentine’s Day, he thinks it’s a stupid holiday and he wants nothing to do with it. But after a new kid joins his classroom, he thinks that maybe this holiday isn’t so stupid after all.

I Love The Way You Hurt Me - steampunkhowell

Summary: 2012 angst where Dan starts sleeping around after breaking up with Phil and Phil hates every minute of seeing Dan with another boy or girl. In short, they end up fucking.

Intoxicating (ao3) - Olakige

Summary: Dan is editing and finds a video of him and Phil having sex and he can’t help but get turned on. He goes to find Phil and sexy daddy kink times ensue.

Joy Of Man’s Desiring - deletablebird

Summary: Piano sex.

Kitten Play (ao3) - FairytaleTalia

Summary: Kinky Phan smut with pet play/kitten play, bottom!Phil with a dominant top!Dan as his master.

Let’s Cause A Little Trouble - luminaryhowell

Summary: The one where Phil is a cameraman at the Olympics and Dan is a bratty figure skater who isn’t pleased with Phil’s work. But Phil’s turned on by this more than anything.

Peanut Butter (ao3) - Legaldanish

Summary: Phil makes a game for him and Dan to play. Not sure if its EXACTLY food kink. Phil licks peanut butter off of Dan.

Sex With Dan (ao3) - yellowlampshade

Summary: Dan was a kinky little shit. And it turned out Phil was too.

The Collar - vanillasolitude

Summary: Dan learns that he should never worry about admitting his kinks to Phil.

Traffic Lights - vanillasolitude

Summary: Dan and Phil’s safeword system and why it’s important.

Weave Me Into Your Skin - botanistlester

Summary: When Phil finds a pair of panties mixed in with his and Dan’s laundry, he’s not sure what to think, consider he’s certain neither of them has brought home a girl in the past few weeks. What’s even stranger is what he finds in Dan’s room when he goes to inquire about the offending garment.

You’re Easy to Crack (ao3) - TheUKAmazingDan

Summary: dan and phil are both cocky frat boys that love beer almost as much as they love each other. dan, drunk and horny, challenges phil to a game of beer pong: whoever wins, tops. may the games begin.

Divided Emison Fandom RN

first 40%: EMILY DOESN’T REALLY LOVE PAIGE, IT’S JUST COMFORT! ALI IS THE TRUE ENDGAME YOU GUYS! SHE’S PICKS ALI! HAVE HOPE!

other 40%: EMISON’S DEVELOPMENT WON’T BE 100% REAL! EMILY IS ONLY GOING TO BE WITH ALI BECAUSE OF THIS BABY I HATE THE WRITERS FOR RUINING OUR SHIT LIKE THIS!

the last 20%:

*too much in shock to even*