baby spit up

New Parents
  • "Baby's awake..."
  • "Someone smells like they need a change!"
  • "I think I might have gotten three hours of sleep."
  • "Have you seen the baby blanket?"
  • "You look exhausted."
  • "Is the baby seat in your car or mine?"
  • "They're finally asleep."
  • "Can you take the baby for a little while?"
  • "Are you making that smell or am I?"
  • "Laundry again?"
  • "Excuse me while I pass out on the floor."
  • "Can you take out the trash?"
  • "Baby spit up on the dog again."
  • "You want to go out for dinner? Are you insane?"
  • "Are there any bottles made up?"
  • "Did you grab any diapers?"
  • "How many bags do we need?"
  • "Shh! Baby's been sleeping for a while now."
  • "Can I borrow a shirt?"
  • "Playpen, stroller, high chair, diaper bag, cooler, floor bumpers, eating mat... I think we're ready to go visiting!"
  • "Did you remember the baby?"
  • "I had to tell a lady in the grocery store not to stick her head in the carrier."
  • "Your turn."

anonymous asked:

Love this account!! It brightens my day!!! I had a keyword request: children Tysm!!!!

Awww, thank you! <3 

Keyword Requests!

  • Yuuri is surprisingly great with children. He often babysat the triplets.
  • He’s the sort of person who can stop a baby from crying just by holding it. 
  • He just has all around good natural instincts when it comes with babies and children, and is a fast learner when it comes to what the individual needs. 
  • Yuuri often jokes that he understands babies better than people… it’s not a joke.
  • Victor is the sort of guy who plays it cool, but the moment you hand him a child, he’s panicking and trying to give it back. 
  • Victor is convinced children hate him, mostly because he has had bad luck with very blunt children in the past. 
  • Hand Victor a baby, and within five minutes, that baby has either spit up, pooed itself, or been sick, and Victor certainly crying.
  • With Makkachin and their careers, Victor and Yuuri probably wouldn’t think about children for quite some time. 
  • The topic finally comes up one day when they’ve both retired and started to think about settling into a calmer lifestyle, curled up together watching Yurio and Minami in their latest exhibition. 
  • Victor is probably the one who brings it up, pretty casually, and surprisingly neither of them panic at the thought. Yuuri just sort of casually agrees that it might be nice to think about. 
  • It probably takes another year or so of discussions that get more and more serious over time, until finally they apply for adoption. 
Baby Starters
  • "She/he spit up on my best shirt!"
  • "It's your turn. I rocked him/her earlier."
  • "We need to baby proof the house."
  • "Did you hear that? That was a cough"
  • "Do we need to go to the hospital?"
  • "Sweetheart, it's just a little cold. Nothing to worry about."
  • "Momma's little baby, yes you are."
  • "Daddy's little baby, yes you are."
  • "Don't baby talk her/him. It's bad for development."
  • "Did you read Dr. Spock?"
  • "I'm a horrible mother."
  • "I'm a horrible father."
  • "She/he won't stop crying!"
  • "I need to feed the baby."
  • "Are you going to breast feed?"
  • "How old is she/he?"
  • "I could just eat those little feet."
  • "Can you say Mommy?"
  • "Can you say Daddy?"
  • "We're finally a family."
  • "We're going to be parents again."
  • "We're going to be parents."
  • "We need more batteries for the baby monitor."
  • "Can you pick up some butt cream?"
  • "We need more diapers."
  • "How is it that we run out of wipes before diapers?!"
  • "Use the no tear shampoo."
  • "Watch the soft spot."
  • "Babies smell so sweet."
  • "I want another one."
  • "I think we make good parents."
  • "How is it that you can make the baby hush and I can't?"
  • "Should we baptize her/him?"
  • "You're going to spoil the kid."
  • "My child deserves the best in the world and I'm going to give it to them."
  • "Does the babysitter know what she's doing?"
  • "I have to take the baby to get shots tomorrow."
  • "The cord finally broke off. Our baby is the proud owner of an innie belly button."
  • "Was that a word?"
  • "Finally she/he rolls over."
  • "God damned terrible twos."
  • "Remember when we couldn't wait for her/him to talk?"
  • "She/he's getting a tooth."
  • "Make sure you warm the bottle up before you give it to the baby."
  • "My parents want to take the baby for the weekend so we can have time together."
  • "I am one of those parents that take pictures of everything my child does."
  • "Is it a boy or a girl?"
  • "Does it have all ten fingers and toes?"
  • "Welcome to the world, little one."

“Real writers write every day.”

If I make it through traffic, and the office, and dinner, and I get the kids to bed, and I collapse into dreaming without having written one word all day, I’m still a writer.

I’m still a writer when I’m building spreadsheets for my boss. I’m still a writer when babies are spitting up on me. I’m still a writer when I’m walking the dog. I’m still a writer no matter what.

You see, a writer is not what I do. It’s who I am.

I’ve read a lot of headcanons about Jaehee being so cute with kids, but I like to think of Jaehee as one of those grown ass adult women who’s irrationally terrified of children. What do they want. Why are they so small. “My coworker’s three year old is getting her smudgy fingerprints on my desk excuse you hello!! If I throw a pencil will she chase after it?”

Jaehee has rarely held babies but when she does there’s a proven 87.4% chance that the baby will spit up on her. It’s a curse tbh. It’s the hand she was dealt at birth.

MC takes Jaehee back home to meet her nieces and nephews so that Jaehee can learn to relax about kids. Jaehee fucking stares at them from across the room like she’s watching a nature documentary, the kind that might get bloody any second.

Jaehee talking to an 8-year-old: “So… you know how to… read?”

By the end of the weekend MC finds Jaehee sitting cross-legged in a sandbox with four kids, holding a bucket. “MC come look! They treat these plastic shells as a form of currency. They’ve practically developed a functioning economy on their own”

Jaehee’s not sure she really “gets” kids but they’re pretty cute when they sleep at least

Everyday Romance (1/1)

Written for the JonxSansa Fanfiction’s 15 Days of Valentine’s Event. Day #13: Proposal. Part of an ongoing little universe including Jon and Sansa in an unorthodox kid-raising situation that I just haven’t put together in a one-shot yet.

Sansa had never been good at self-awareness when it came to Jon Snow, but she at least had a small level of excuse in how strange and unorthodox their history had been. They had only moved in together only because she’d gotten pregnant from a fling, they had only decided to be parents together a second time out of practicality rather than any romantic spontaneity, and she’d only realized she was in love with him in a hectic moment involving baby spit-up and an overboiling pot.  

Still, watching Jon sing off-key to soothe their feverous twin toddlers while wrangling their flu-stricken preschooler into a bath, brought her to a stark realization as she watched him nonchalantly strip off clothing covered in various body fluids and tuck them into the washing machine along with their daughter’s bedding. Mulling the thought over, she shuffled after him as he walking back toward the kitchen, lifting the boiling kettle off the stove and grabbing two mugs from the cabinet.  

“Chamomile or lemon, Sans?”

“Chamomile, please,” she murmured, thoughtfully watching him move confidently around the room. “Jon?”

“Hmm?” He inquired absently, stirring a touch of honey into each mug.  

Sansa took in a deep, shaky breath. Three children later, she should be able to say these words. “Jon, will you marry me?”

Jon paused, looking up to search her face. Whatever he found there must have satisfied him, as a small smile played across his lips. “Of course I will. Jon Stark has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

anonymous asked:

Sarumi with a baby, how would that day go.

I think they might manage all right. Like for whatever reason the two of them have to watch a baby for a day (maybe it’s another Strain baby and everyone else is busy so they send the kid home with Fushimi and Yata, figuring that whatever weird power the kid has will probably end up affecting Fushimi anyway because Fushimi Strain Curse) and of course Fushimi doesn’t want to do it because he’s not that interested in kids. Yata would probably be pretty good with it though, he has younger siblings and I’m sure he had to have helped him mom at least a little bit here and there. So Yata’s being the good responsible one, heating up the milk and trying to keep the kid clean and happy while Fushimi stays on the other side of the room reading a book and trying to act like he doesn’t want to have anything to do with the baby. Yata keeps getting annoyed at him for it, especially if it was like Scepter 4 was supposed to be taking care of the baby and they specifically gave the kid to Fushimi to watch because the baby was calmest with him and Fushimi dumped it on Yata instead. Fushimi just clicks his tongue and makes a comment about how since Misaki is so good with babies he should just keep taking care of it so that Fushimi can get some actual work done. Yata finally has enough when the kid needs a diaper change but of course Fushimi is out of there so fast he doesn’t have much of a choice. Fushimi comes back into the room after the whole mess is over, complaining about the smell and then being irritated when he realizes that Yata changed the kid on the couch and putting a blanket over the couch first does not make it any better.

Meanwhile the kid’s started wailing again and Yata can’t figure out why. Turns out they’re out of formula so Yata goes to buy some more real quick and leaves Fushimi with the kid before Fushimi can protest. Of course the kid’s still crying and it’s giving Fushimi a headache so he walks over to the cradle and kinda stares at the kid hoping it’ll stop wailing. The child sees him and suddenly starts to smile and laugh and Fushimi’s all taken aback, like what’s so interesting so stop smiling at me. The kid reaches for him and Fushimi’s really hesitant because he has no idea about how to deal with regular humans much less tiny ones but he carefully picks up the kid anyway. The baby laughs again and Fushimi ends up sitting there on the couch kinda rocking the kid to sleep in between complaining about how he’s not doing this because he likes the kid or anything he just wants the crying to stop. Yata comes in right as the baby’s falling asleep in Fushimi’s arms and probably engages in some light good-natured teasing about how Fushimi’s such a natural with kids. Fushimi’s all embarrassed but he doesn’t want to wake the baby so he just clicks his tongue and dumps the kid back into Yata’s arms, claiming that he has work to do now. The baby starts to squirm and fuss and Yata’s like nope, it likes you best so Fushimi ends up having to hold onto the kid for the next ten minutes until it’s fallen asleep properly.

10 Things Almost No One Knows About Clarisse La Rue
  1. She was born in, and lived in France for the first five years of her life. Her mother was a dancer, and they moved back to Arizona when her grandfather got sick. She can actually speak French, and her mother refuses to speak to her in anything but French, and she hates it, because she thinks its a stupid language. She is convinced the reason Chris didn’t get better while they were still in Arizona was because he had to listen to French for days. 
  2. Her favorite book is Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris. 
  3. She doesn’t laugh ever, because she doesn’t have a laugh, she has a giggle. The only person that knows about this other than Chris is Percy, because when Percy came to visit right after they had their first kid, their baby spit up her whole lunch onto Percy’s shirt, and Clarisse giggled for about twenty minutes. 
  4. As long as they are alone, she really loves when Chris calls her pretty. She also really likes when he plays with her hair. 
  5. The tiny baby noises Chuck makes absolutely make her melt. She had no idea her maternal instincts were so strong, but as she was taking care of Chuck, she couldn’t help but think “I want one.”
  6. She really loves Lord of the Rings. She hates the Hobbit movies, they are just Peter Jackson’s wet dream. 
  7. She was really happy to see that Percy and Annabeth survived the second war and gave them both hugs when they got back. 
  8. Actually enjoyed that stupid two hour French musical Pollux made her watch. But if she admits that she liked a musical he showed her, she owes him ten dollars. 
  9. She reluctantly gave Pollux ten dollars after she realized she knew all the words to Hamilton
  10. A fair number of her conversations with Chris are just quotes from The Princess Bride. 

heronaught  asked:

your majesty, have you ever considered an axe as your weapon?

Jarvan wrinkles his nose.

“An axe? It’s rather… barbaric, isn’t it?” A traditionally Noxian weapon, to be sure. He looks mildly displeased- as if a baby had spit up on him, and he is trying very hard to be polite about it.

If the Turtles Actually Meet Baby Miwa

I started thinking about how each of the turtles might react to Miwa, and how Miwa would react to all of them. I bet she’d love them. :3 

First, Leo. Poor guy… finally gets to hold the girl of his dreams in his arms… but she’s a baby. 
…who spits up on him. 

I think Raph would be absolutely terrified to be left alone with a baby, but only because he has no babysitting experience and he doesn’t want to break her.

I don’t think Donnie would mind holding her, and I think she’d enjoy his newly cut fake beard… but I wonder if it has elastic. If so it’d probably sting his face when she let go. Looks like he’s thinking the same thing.

And Mikey… omigosh he’d absolutely adore her. He would love being the big brother for a change. He’d probably want to hold her the most, and bottle feed her, and burp her, and rock her to sleep, and… AWWW!!! The thought of these two!!! 

…and yes, that would be Leo’s duck blankie. Mikey probably snatched it while Leo wasn’t looking. lol I’m too lazy to draw the duck, so we’ll just say it’s on the other side. 

I’m kinda bummed the scanner washed out the colors a bit. She’s supposed to be in a pink onesie with a yellow bib. 

The Miracle of Life

Advent Prompt #19: Daddy!Klaine where they deal with the joys of a newborn when their daughter is born. This means midnight feedings, sleep deprivation, baby spit up everywhere, but also the wonderful moments too. 1.4K [AO3Read Previous Advent fics on: AO3 | Tumblr

Day 1, Hour 1

“Can you believe the adoption agency just gave her to us?” Blaine marvels, staring down at the tiny sleeping infant in the pink and white bassinet. His daughter. He’s a father now. Blaine’s still getting used to that.

“That’s… kind of the point of an adoption, Blaine,” Kurt chuckles softly. “And there was no just giving her to us. Or have you forgotten the endless reams of paperwork and the eighteen months we spent on the waiting list already?”

Clara stirs slightly, her tiny fists scrunched up to her chest. Kurt and Blaine both hold their breath while they wait to see if she’ll settle back down to sleep some more. Blessedly, she does. “It’s hard to remember anything before her now,” Blaine confesses. “Is that weird?”

“Sort of, but I know exactly what you mean so I must be weird, too.” Kurt shrugs. He regards her for a moment, eyes wide. “She’s so tiny.”

“And perfect,” Blaine adds. “How did we ever get so lucky?”

“No idea, but I’m pretty sure her sleeping is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” Kurt practically coos. He’s not lying, he’s already sent at least four videos of her sleeping to Burt and Carole via email, helpfully titled “The Cutest Thing in the History of the Universe (Probably).” They are already those parents and they only brought Clara home from the hospital an hour ago. Blaine really can’t find it in him to bothered by that.

Keep reading

Straight people are honestly demonic because all it takes is a baby dressed in pink-flower-elephant to look at their baby dressed in blue-truck-monkey and they’re dramatically going on about boyfriends and kissing and having to, like, violently protect my child from their child

Look my baby can’t even walk yet please go back to projecting heterosexuality onto candy and fruit and leave us out of it

I got to meet the baby!

I blogged earlier this week about wanting to meet my neighbor’s baby. There are only 6 houses on my street so we all know each other fairly well, even though the homes are quite spread out.

This neighbor lives directly across from our property so we know them well. They own Golden Retrievers like we do. 

We spent an hour today hanging out with them and the baby. She’s only 3 weeks old. I’d forgotten how small they are at that age. The baby is adorable and didn’t fuss at all while we were there. 

She did barf on me and my neighbors were kinda embarrassed. I was like, “Please. One of my twins pooped on me as a newborn. Another one was riding on my shoulders when he was about 3 years old and suddenly vomited. It was like a vomit waterfall directly in front of my face.”

Plus, I own 4 dogs. I’ve experienced it all. So a bit of baby spit up is one of those wipe it off your shirt and forget about it moments. 

I’m so excited to have this adorable baby across the street. It will be fun to watch her grow up. I really like my ‘hood.  

Text from: your gorgeous wifey (who didn't change her name in your phone)
  • Eliza: What do you want a pic of then hmm? Baby spit up down the front of my shirt? Or maybe the sexy ass grandma panties I'm wearing because I so need to do washing?
  • Eliza: Elliebelly is finally asleep and you are cutting into my bath time.
  • (A few minutes later)
  • Eliza: Sigh. Okay fine.
  • one picture received: https://thiswasntinthemanual.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/posted_baby-blog_rack-city_101513.jpg