baby seal club

A vegan socialist eco-terrorist Neo-pagan earth worshipping protein deficient hippie was teaching an environmental ethics and raw vegan cooking class.

“Before class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Peter Singer and accept that he was the most compassionate highly evolved human animal the world has ever known, and eat this whole bowl of sticks and lettuce I brought for the class!”

At this moment, a very manly expert bow hunter, who uses every part of the animal, and has allergies to every plant that isn’t a potato and knows that God himself demands we eat, kill, and dominate all of nature stood up and pointed to one of his canine teeth.

“What the hell do you think these are for, pansy-ass?”

The self-righteous professor smirked quite arrogantly (but also weakly, because his muscles were withered from malnutrition), and smugly replied “delicately peeling fruit, you carnist asshole”

“Wrong! These are the teeth of a carnivore”

The professor was visibly shaken, dropping his chalk and copy of Animal Liberation. As he tried to storm out of the room in a huff, the red-blooded American meat eater used his superior strength and intellect to pounce on the professor and tear his throat out with his bare teeth just as nature intended. In his last dying moments, the arrogant vegan professor secretly wished he had eaten a lot more steak and cheeseburgers with bacon on them and probably just outright stabbed a few cows because fuck cows.

The students applauded, all signed up for the Bacon of the Month club and the NRA, and declared Ted Nugent their new lord and savior. An eagle named “Club Baby Seals” flew into the room and was about to perch atop the American flag, but the student shot him and cooked him in the most patriotic chili America has ever seen and won the World Chili Cookoff.

(My own vegan version of the classic “Christian student vs Atheist professor” joke/meme.)

Once again, Tumblrs completely broken blocking system allows someone to say my name and insult me while they have me blocked so I cannot reblog or defend myself. See that green reblog symbol? That’s a symbol of lies.
Now I have to defend myself this way.

I am pro equality and support all regulations that seek to make all sentient beings equal and grant rights based on sentience. I support these causes and donate and defend them. I vote for them.

What I am against is not social progress or what these people claim they support. I am against the extremists the Internet refers to as “SJW’s”, people that actively seek out and try to twist everything to be offensive so they can feel high and mighty and like they are actually helping or doing something good. They don’t really care about equality, they care about bettering their own situation and putting down others, they are trying to be white knights slaying dragons, in reality they are kids with buckets over their heads terrorizing some small lizards.

They call themselves victims at every turn, they call out people, they harass people, they post libel and slander and start witch hunts for infractions that are just figments of their imagination twisting people’s words. They take the most innocent insignificant parts and act like its clubbing baby seals. They are mostly young immature special snowflakes that shout “triggered” at every single thing, including unavoidable aspects of everyday life. They are the ones that gave this site it’s horrible reputation that makes people resist joining and makes people leave. They are the tainted part of this site.

Honestly there is no good name for them, as most have been taken over by ignorant people that act just as bad. “Feminazi”, “Tumblrina”, “SJW”, “tumblr cancer” or whatever you call someone like what I described. Doesn’t matter what offensive name you call them, they would find it offensive even if I called them a made up word like “Garbelze”.

Every dollar I donate and hour of my time I volunteer is worth 100 times more than any of the microaggressions and problematic aspect they twist into existence. I’m out there risking my job for equal pay for women and equal treatment for women in the science field. They are calling me misogynistic for saying Tracer from Overwatch having gluteal muscles and fat layers appropriate for a young woman of her build and being able to turn around in an entirely nonsexual way and show it in one optional pose is not a problem worthy of a rant and groveling apology by the lead director.

They are not good people, they are not helping, they just make the pushback and annoyance harder against people trying to change real major problems that actually matter.

The Quiet Game

Okay so… I think I’ve nailed down my headcanons for why EVERYONE WAS ACTING LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT IN SEASON 10. Ahem. Sorry. Okay, Season 10 of RvB suffers, narrative wise, from everyone carrying an idiot ball and just not talking for reasons that are never made explicit so everyone looks like a goddamn moron or criminally insane or something. So I’ll go from the bottom up. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

yo where do you get syringes i dont do drugs but i need blood for a ritual

um. I think I would be more likely to tell you if you had said you needed them for drugs the fuck kinda creepy blood ritual you doing holmes. probably sacrificing virgins and clubbing baby seals in your spare time. bouta draw a pentagram on the floor with your blood and summon satan or some shit. tf kinda ask is this.

To any higher power

Regarding episode 33:

Have we, the Creampuff community, done something that has offended you?

Have we committed some grievous sin, for which the only suitable punishment is unending pain?

Did we kick puppies, or club baby seals in previous lives?

If the answer was no to any of the above, then we have one question for you:

WHY THE FRILLY HELL CAN’T YOU LET US BE HAPPY FOR ONE TEENSY-WEENSY, BUT EVER SO CRUCIAL LITTLE, TINY MINUTE?!

*sobs uncontrollably* Thank you for your time

Spring Break

I’ll be away from Tumblr for a bit. My hiding spot is approximately 21.2548n, 86.7444w.

Sheila and I have a house sitter. Shhhh! Don’t anyone say dog sitter! Ella insisted she and Carson could stay home alone. Just fill the bowls really full. We’ll be fine.

Dogs can’t open the door to the back yard. Pooping in the house would make me mad. That would seriously affect future dog treat distribution. I explained this. The house sitter will be here to help them get inside and out. She can snuggle with them at night if they get scared.

So they agreed a little help with the door would be OK. They would snuggle with the house sitter if she got scared. Uh, OK guys.

Before any of you losers think of stopping by and stealing my stuff I must warn you our house sitter is a fellow Tumblr who keeps tabs on things. If she wants to identify herself she can but I’m leaving her anonymous for now in case she wants to hide from her family and S.O. for a week :)

Sheila and I took her to the range this week to ensure her proficiency with an assortment of small arms. After seeing all those bulls-eyes we gave her total access to the weapons locker.

However that wasn’t even necessary because she’s really good with her sword. I’m talking some serious Kill Bill stuff.

She also has her own collection of deadly arachnids to sic on you. That’s one of them in the picture. Call it a bug instead of an arachnid and you’ll be sorry.

Earlier this week Ella finished her AAVAD (American Association of Vicious Attack Dogs) training. Now it’s not only UPS, FedEx and pizza delivery drivers who need to be careful on our property. Carson failed his training but he still can bark annoyingly loudly.

The house will be in good hands and paws. Fangs and stingers too.

I’m really looking forward to being somewhere warm and drinking cheap booze. My skin is as white as a baby seal that hasn’t been clubbed yet. I’ll have to bathe in SPF 1000 suncreen so I don’t burn. Which means I’ll come home tan as Edward Scissorhands.