baby meme

sententiousandbellicose  asked:

15. for the Kiss Meme + Mark/Bridget (with optional Jack)

So this is my first Bridget Jones Diary fic ever and hopefully I didn’t do a bad job and you’ll enjoy this :D I decided to leave Jack on the side this time, mostly because the next prompt tomorrow is about the three of them but you can assume he’s just taking a very long shower or something if you want :P

15. A kiss because I have literally been watching you all night and I can’t take anymore

Watching you all night (every night)

Bridget had known from everything her friends had told her that even if giving birth would be the most painful part of the whole pregnancy/raising a child affair, it would also be the easiest.

While she would only wish the pain of pushing the equivalent of a melon through the eye of a needle on her worst enemy, after a couple of weeks that pain is only a bad memory brought by the discomfort she still feel between her legs sometime.

And with a crying baby and the routine of feeding him, changing his diapers, his clothes, making sure he is still breathing after a couple hours of soundless napping and fighting off the urge to always keep him safely in her arms, let’s just say that uncomfortable twinge is kind of easy to ignore.

In fact, there is a lot she would ignore if it wasn’t for Mark reminding her. He’s taken the month off to help her with their newborn son and also to relearn how to be together. So far, it’s going fabulously well. Of course, Mark is as bad as her when it comes to worry about baby William’s well-being and he seems to find it equally as hard to simply put him into his crib after rocking him to sleep instead of keeping him in his arms. However, he also trusts Bridget when she tells him she can take care of whatever needs William has at the moment.

Those times, he’ll either leave to make them something to eat, put on some relaxing music, do a spot of cleaning or even call various friends and family to reassure them they haven’t died yet. Or he’ll simply lean against the nearest wall and watch then with an awed expression, as if he can’t quite believe this.

When he looks like that, Bridget always waves him over and he’ll come behind her or besides her and wraps his arms around her middle, press his cheek against her shoulder and won’t keep his eyes off of their little miracle.

It breaks her heart that he won’t ever take the initiative to touch her, unless she clearly needs help, but she guesses she only have herself to blame about that one.

Still, he seems to become less and less guarded as the days pass and now he purposefully brushes their hands together for longer than necessary whenever he hands her something. She always encourages the prolonged contact with a smile, even if she kind of wish it wouldn’t make her knees go all wobbly, but that’s Mark Darcy for her. The day he doesn’t give her wobbly knees, is the day she’ll be dead.

She is just putting William to bed for the night and she actually thinks it’s getting easier to let go each night. Or maybe she’s only deluding herself. It would be easy to do so with how she’s been feeling Mark’s warm gaze on her back all night and sure enough when she turns away from the crib, there he is, standing in the doorway, looking at her like one would look at a precious flower in the middle of the desert.

She feels herself blush because she knows she is far from being a flower right now. Messy hair with probably some baby vomit in it, baggy clothes that doesn’t hide the still present baby bump, dark circles under her eyes, her shirt slightly wet from breast milk… She would be great for an exhausted mom add, but she is far from feeling beautiful.

Or well, she wasn’t until Mark- Mark with his mess of curls he doesn’t bother putting in any kind of order in the morning, in his ratty but comfy clothes Bridget has seen more in the span of two weeks than during their whole previous relationship and with his dark circles that rival hers- until Mark smiles at her and reaches for her.

She goes willingly to him and lets him bring her into the comforting circle of his arms and his time, she is the one to lean her head against his shoulder, drawing some much needed strength from him.

Mark doesn’t let her stay in that position for long, gently cupping her cheeks and pressing his lips against hers.

It’s a fleeting contact, the chastest kiss they’ve exchanged in all of their years together, but it’s probably the one that means the most.

I love you, I need you, I’m not letting you leave again, this time we’ll get it right

She hopes he knows she’s saying all those things right back at him. From the way his arms tightens around her, she shouldn’t worry about it.

When he kisses her again, with more passion this time, she smiles into the kiss.

From where she is standing, they’re getting it pretty right already.

Things We’ve Said While Playing Mystic Messenger Pt 2

“Gotta date ‘em all.”
“SO I CAN RUB MY FACE AGAINST THEM BEFORE I GO TO BED EACH NIGHT!”
“A lack of kissing girls.”
“Like this……..this is what I did this for you……”
“I wanted to make out with you……….”
“SEND ME SOME HOT SELFIES!”
“I’ll dye my hair white for you.”
“I’ll get an eight pack for you.”
“And real blood, because screw the fake crap.”
“I think he’s albino. Is he albino?”
“Maybe it’s albino, maybe it’s anime.”
“Hey, I wanna get with ya and take yo picture.”
“Are you calling me a cougar?!”
“You’re so self-aware it freaks me out.”
“I want you, I want you so much, but I can’t afford you.”
“Every day I don’t get to date you is a struggle.”
“It’s okay, hearing your voice is enough.”
“I made your voice my ringtone – wait is that too creepy?”
“I can talk to whoever I want, first off.”
“You’re so cute but so scary.”
“Why is it always the cute ones that are messed up?”
“I want to get married on a space station too.”
“I’ll replace your cat. With the power of love.”
“It’s okay, I love your cat too. We can be cat parents.”
“I thought we had something and you friend-zoned me.”
“Babe, he’s trying to steal me from you.”
“Wow, all your friends are dicks!”
“I’m crying. It’s the middle of the night and I’m crying. Send help. And money.”
“I should be asleep but I stayed up to talk to you. Gimme some hearts.”
“I said the wrong thing. I said the wrong thing and my life is over.”
“I broke his heart. I shattered it. It’s all over.”
“Oh wait, never mind, he still loves me.”
“Or maybe he’s just pretending to still love me.”

anonymous asked:

Unpopular opinion: at least nitori worked his ass off and he actually did try to be a better swimmer unlike most characters in other anime who stay pretty worthless the whole time -.- (Thank you for defending him!) 💕

Send me unpopular opinions

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

That’s so true ;___;  he started almost with nothing, but he worked so hard to get what he wanted, he’s truly amazing!
(a mother will always defend her son ^v^)

  • Baby:H...h-h..
  • Parents:Oh? Your first word! What are you trying to say? Hello?
  • Baby:H..h....
  • Baby:Hi, I am Erica! How are you? :) I am a game developer and I and my team are currently working on a impressive game. We would like to ask you a favor. Can you test it out and see how it works? Will take ONLY few seconds! Would appreciate your opinion and feedback. Try it on MY TUMBLR. Thank you very much darling, tell my how it was we can chat later!! Erica :)
  • Baby:d-... d-... d-...
  • Dad:daddy? Are you trying to say daddy?
  • Baby:d-... d-... DRUM CORPS INTERNATIONAL PROUDLY PRESENTS...
  • baby:da....da...
  • dad:dada?
  • baby:da...danny phantom he was just 14 when his parents built a very strange machine. it was designed to view a world unseen. (He's gonna catch em all cuz he's Danny Phantom!) When it didn't quite work, his folks, they just quit. Then Danny took a look inside of it. There was a great big flash! Everything just changed! His molecules got all rearranged! When he first woke up he realized he had snow white hair and glowing green eyes. He could walk through walls, disappear and fly! He was much more unique than the other guys! It was then that he knew what he had to do. He had to stop all the ghosts that were comin' through. He's here to fight for me and YOU! He's gonna catch em all cuz he's Danny Phantom! gonna catch em all cuz he's Danny Phantom! gonna catch em all cuz he's *whispers* Danny Phantom
  • baby:a...ah...ah
  • mother:honey quick she's saying her first word!
  • baby:ah...aFTER THE WAR I WENT BACK TO NEW YORK! A-AFTER THE WAR I WENT BACK TO NEW YORK! I FINISHED UP MY STUDIES AND I PRACTICED LAW. I PRACTICED LAW BURR WORKED NEXT DOOR.
  • mother:...evEN THOUGH WE STARTED AT THE VERY SAME TIME-
  • baby:T-t-t...
  • mother:Honey, come quick! The baby's first words!
  • baby:T-t-t...
  • father:What is it? Toy? Truck??
  • baby:T-T-Talos the mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give praise! We are but maggots, writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! Terrible and powerful Talos! We, your unworthy servants, give praise! For only through your grace and benevolence may we truly reach enlightenment! And deserve our praise you do, for we are one! Ere you ascended and the Eight became Nine, you walked among us, great Talos, not as god, but as man! But you were once man! Aye! And as man, you said, "Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now, in royalty, and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you!" Aye, love. Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children?! Your very lives?! And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine! For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit both the heavens and the earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever! Trust in me, Whiterun! Trust in Heimskr! For I am the chosen of Talos! I alone have been anointed by the Ninth to spread his holy word!
  • Baby:J-J-J
  • Mom:Come on you can do it. Juice?
  • Baby:Ja- Ja-Japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it's 🎶beautiful🎶. In the year negative a billion Japan might not have been here. In the year negative fourty thousand it was here and you could walk to it, and some people walked to it. Then it got warmer, some ice burgs melted, it became an island, and now there's lots of trees! because it's warmer. So now there's people on the island, they're basically sort of hanging out in between the mountains eating nuts off trees and using the latest technology like stones and bowls. Ding dong, it's the outside world and they have technology from the future (bronze age) like really good metal and c r a z y r i c e f a r m s. Now you can make A LOT of rice like really really quickly. That means if you own the farm you own a lot of food which is something everybody needs to SURVIVE. So that makes you king. Rice farming and rice kingdoms spread across the land. All the way to here. The most important kingdoms were here(hi), here(chikushi), here(izumo), here(kibi), here(yamato), here(koshi), and here(kenu). But this one (yamato) was the most most important, ruled by a "heavenly superperson" called (emperor) for short. Knock knock. Get the door, it's RELIGION. The new prince (prince shotoku) wants everyone to try this hot new religion (buddhism) from Baekj. "Please try this religion." He said. "No." Said everybody. "Try iiiittt" He said. "No." Said everybody again, quieter this time. And so the religion was put into place and all the rules that came with it. Then the government was taken over by a new clique and they made some reforms (Taika Reforms) like -making the government govern more and -making the government more like China's government, which is a government that governs more. "Hi China." They said. "Hi dipshit." (hi "wa"(dwarf)) Said China. "Can you call us something else, other than dipshit?" Said Japan. "Like what?" Said China. "🎶How about sunrise land?🎶" (nihon) (Japan) and so they stole China's alphabet and wrote a book about themselves. And then they made lots of poetry and art and another book about themselves. Then they stopped moving the capital every time the emperor died and kept it in one place for awhile. Right here (kyoto). And they conquered the north finally. Get that squared away. A rich hipster named kukai is bored with modern buddhism, visits china, and learns a better version (zen buddhism) which is more 🎶spiritual🎶. He goes back, reinvents the alphabet, and causes art and literature to be 🎶great🎶 for a long time and the rural palace turned into such a dream world of art that they really didn't give a shit about running the country. So if you live outside the palace, how are you supposed to protect your shit from criminals? 🎶Hire a samurai🎶. Everyone started hiring samurai. Correction - rich important people hired samurai. Poor people who could not afford to hire samurai did not hire samurai. The samurai became organised and powerful. More powerful than the government. So they made their own military government here. They let the emperor still be "emperor" but the shogun is actually in control. BREAKING NEWS the Mongols have invaded China. "We've invaded China" said the Mongols, "Please respect us or else we might invade you as well." "Okay" said Japan. So the Mongols came over, ready for war. Then died in a tornado. But they tried again and had a nice time fighting with the Japanese but then died in a tornado. Then the emperor overthrows the shogunate, then the shogunate overthrows him back then moves to kyoto and makes a new shogunate (ashikaga shogunate). The "emperor" can still dress like an emperor if he wants that's fine. 🎶Now there's more art🎶. Like painting with less colors, collaborative poetry, plays, monkey fun, tea parties, gardening, architecture, flowers. It's time for "who's going to be the next shogun?" Usually it's the shogun's kid, but the shogun doesn't have a kid. So he tries to get his brother to quit being a monk and be the next shogun, he says "✔ok." But then the shogun has a kid, so now who's it gonna be? Vote now on your phones, and everyone voted so hard (onin war) that the palace caught on fire and burned down. The shogun actually didn't care, he was off somewhere doing poetry. And the whole country broke into pieces (sengoku jidai). Everyone is fighting with each other for local power and it's anybody's game. Knock knock, it's Europe. No, they're not here to take over (yet). They just wanna sell some shit. Like clocks and guns and 🎶jesus🎶. So that's cool, but everyone's still fighting each other for control. Now with guns!! and wouldn't it be nice to control the capital (kyoto)? Which right now is puppets with no one controlling them. This clan (imagawa) is ready to make a run for it, but first they have to trample this smaller clan (oda) which is in the way. Surprise! the smaller clan wins and the leader of that clan (oda nobunaga) steals the idea of invading the capital and invades the capital. And it goes very well 👍. He's about halfway through conquering Japan when someone who works for him kills him, then someone else who works for him kills them. And that guy (toyotomi hideyoshi) finishes conquering Japan. And then he confiscated everybody's swords. And made some rules (no having a sword (or a gun) no climbing the social ladder pay taxes). "and now I'm going to invade korea and then hopefully china" he said and failed, and also died. But before he died he told these five guys (council of 5 elders) (ukita hideie, uesugi kagekatsu, mori terumoto, tokugawa ieyasu, maeda toshiie) to take care of his five-year-old son until he's old enough to be the next ruler of Japan. And the five guys said, "Yeah, right. It's not gonna be this kid. It's gonna be one of us. Cuz we're grownups. And it's probably gonna be this guy (tokugawa ieyasu) who happens to be way more rich and powerful than the others. A lot of people support him, but a lot of people support not supporting him. They have a fight and he wins. And starts a new government right here, 🎶Edo🎶 and he still lets the "emperor" dress like an emperor and have very nice things, but don't get confused, this is the new government (tokugawa family) and they're very strict. So strict they closed the country. (sakoku 鎖国 closed country) No one can leave and no one can come in. Except for the Dutch if they wanna buy and sell shit, but they have to do it right here (dejima). Now that the entire country was not at war with itself, the population increased a lot, business increased, schools were built, roads were built, everyone learned to read, books were published, there was poetry, plays, sexy times, puppet shows, and dutch studies. People started to study european science from books they bought from the dutch. We're talking geography, skeletons, physics, chemistry, astronomy, and maybe even electricity. Over time, the economic and cultural prosperity began to gradually slow down. Knock knock. It's the United States. With huge boats. With guns. Gunboats. "Open the country. Stop having it be closed." Said the United States. There's really nothing they can do so they signed a contract that lets the united states, britain, and russia visit japan any time they want. choshu and satsuma hated this 👎. "That sucks." They said. "This sucks!!!" and with almost very little outside help, they overthrew the shogunate (boshin war) and somehow made the emperor (emperor meiji) emperor again and moved him to Eto which they renamed "Eastern Capital". They made a new government, which was "a lot more western" (-new york times review). They made a new constitution (meiji constitution) that was pretty western. And a military that was pretty western (large). And do you know what else is Western? That's right, it's conquering stuff. So what can we conquer? Korea. So they conquered Korea. Taking it from its previous owner, china, and then got a little further and Russia rushes in out of nowhere and says, "stop, no, you can't take that we were gonna build a railroad through here to try to get some warm water." and Russia builds their railroad, supervised by a shit ton of soldiers. And then when the railroad was done they downgraded to A FUCK TON. Did I say downgrade? I meant upgrade. And Japan says "can you maybe chill?" and then Russia says "How About Maybe You Chill?" Japan is kinda scared of Russia. You'll never guess who's also kinda scared of Russia. Great Britain! So Japan and Great Britain make an alliance so they can be "a little less scared of Russia". Feeling confident, Japan goes to war against Russia (russo-japanese war) just for a moment and then they both get tired and stop. 🎶it's time for World War 1🎶 The World is about to Have A War. Cuz it's the 1900s and weapons are getting crazy and all these empires are excited to try them out on each other. Meanwhile, Japan has been enjoying conquering stuff and wants MORE. the next thing on their list is this part of China (qingdao) and lots of tiny islands (palau, marianas, carolines, marshall islands). But all that stuff belongs to Germany, who just had war declared on them from Britain because Britain was friends with Belgium which was being trespassed by Germany so they could get to France to kick France's ass because France is friends with Russia who is getting ready to kick Austria's ass because Austria was just about to kick Serbia's ass because someone from Serbia shot the leader of Austria's ass. Or... actually they shot him in the head. And Britain is currently friends with Japan, so you know what that means. Duh. 🎶japan should take the islands🎶 which they wanted to do anyway. So they called Britain on the tele(gram) to sort of let them know (can we take the islands thanks). Then they did it. And they also helped Britain a little here and there with some errands and stuff. Now the war is over and congratulations Japan! you technically fought in the war which means you get to sit at the negotiating table (paris peace conference) with the big dudes where they decided who owns what. And yes, Japan gets to keep all that shit they stole from Germany. You also get to join the post-war mega alliance 🎶the League of Nations🎶 whose mission statement is to try not to take over the world. The great depression is bad and Japan's economy is now crappy. But the military is doing just fine and it invades manchuria. And the League of Nations is like, "no, don't do that, if you're in the league of nations you're not supposed to take over the world!" and Japan said 🎶"how bout i do anyway?"🎶 and Japan invaded more and more and more and more of China. and was planning to invade the entire East. You've got mail! It's from Germany, the new leader of Germany. He has a cool mustache and he's trying to take over the world and needs friends. This also got forwarded to Italy. They all decided to be friends because they had so much in common. 🎶it's time for World War 2! (the sequel)🎶 Germany is invading the neighbors then they invade the neighbor's neighbors then the neighbor's neighbor's neighbors who happen to be Britain said 🎶"holy shit"🎶 and the United States started helping Britain because they're 🎶good friends🎶 and they started not helping Japan because 🎶"their friends and our friends are not friends" "plus they're planning on invading the entire ocean"🎶 the United States is also working on a large very huge bomb (atom bomb). "bigger than any other bomb, ever™" just in case. But they still haven't joined the war. War looks bad on TV and the United States is really starting to care about their image. But then Japan spits on them in Hawaii (pearl harbor) and then challenges them to war. They say yes. And then Germany, as a symbol of friendship ❤, declares war on the United States also. So the United States goes to war in Europe. And they help the gang chase Germany back into Germany and they also start chasing Japan back into Japan. And they haven't used the bomb yet, and they're curious to see if it works. So they drop it on Japan (hiroshima). They actually dropped two (nagasaki). The United States installed a new government inspired by the United States government. With just the right ingredients for a 🎶post-war economic miracle🎶 and Japan starts making TVs, VCRs, automobiles, and camcorders as fast as they can and also better than everybody else. They get rich. And the economy goes wild. And then the miracle wears off. But everything is still pretty cool I guess. 🎶Bye🎶