baby leo get in my pants

the signs as cards against humanity cards

aries: Taking off your shirt. // Penis envy. // Pistol whipping a hostage.
taurus: Appreciative snapping. // One thousand Slim Jims. // Exactly what you’d expect.
gemini: Fabricating statistics. // Friends with benefits. // A look-see.
cancer: Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine ™. // The miracle of childbirth. // Teaching a robot to love.
leo: Bitches. // Getting drunk on mouthwash. // Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth II.
virgo: A balanced breakfast. // Genetically engineered super-soldiers. // Statistically validated stereotypes.
libra: A homoerotic volleyball montage. // Child beauty pageants. // “Tweeting”.
scorpio: Sweet, sweet vengeance. // A cooler full of organs. // Giving 110 percent.
sagittarius: Bosnian chicken farmers. // A Gypsy curse. // My humps.
capricorn: Republicans. // A mopey zoo lion. // Getting in her pants, politely.
aquarius: Actually taking candy from a baby. // Seppuku. // The forbidden fruit.
pisces: Puppies! // A really cool hat. // Passive-aggressive Post-it notes.

  • ARIES: "Good people don't rip other peoples arms off."
  • TAURUS: “Squidward… I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet!”
  • GEMINI: "Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt? Now he's a bronzefish."
  • CANCER: ”I’m so cold, I can use my nose drippings as chopsticks.”
  • LEO: “Run Mr. Krabs! Run like you’re not in a coma!”
  • VIRGO: “Did I Patrick? Did I? Or did your criminal mind hypnotize me to steal it?”
  • LIBRA: "Gary, what are you doing here? YOU’RE CAUSING A SCENE!!"
  • SCORPIO: “Oh well, I guess I’m not wearing any pants today!”
  • SAGITTARIUS: “Gary, I’m absorbing his blows like I’m made of some sort of spongy material”
  • CAPRICORN: "If I were to die right now in a fiery explosion due to carelessness of a friend…. Then it would just be alright”
  • AQUARIUS: “Squidward? Squidward! The sky had a baby from my cereal box!”
  • PISCES: “Patrick! You forgot how to eat again! Come on, we’ll get the funnel”

autumnginnys  asked:

tALK TO ME ABOUT PIPERCABETH, it is so good omgg

  • imagine the pipabeth breakfast war taken to the next level like all of a sudden i’m crying
  • like at camp piper fills her plate with annabeth’s favorites and vice versa and eventually they just end up splitting all their food or eating off the same plate
  • and since percy does the cooking he winds up entangled in their arrangement (probably against his will lol)
  • it gets to the point where like one night annabeth’s out to dinner without them and all of a sudden she realizes why she’s feeling so stressed about ordering for herself
  • also i have so many feelings about them sharing sweatshirts
  • like percy making a 7/11 run for ben and jerry’s at like 11:30 in piper’s baby pink malibu sweatshirt what a concept
  • and percy’s red hoodie and no pants is like basically piper’s uniform around the house
  • i forget who said they throw the best parties but they were right
  • like imagine new year’s eve at the mclean-chase-jackson residence
  • also they have the most awesome super bowl party every year people are looking forward to it for months and jason and leo get so heated because “NONE OF YOU GUYS EVEN LIKE FOOTBALL”
  • and percy says “yeah but we like beer and nachos”
  • they would be such good parents
  • they could be running the help my wife blog i swear like that’s their relationship dynamic
  • weekend trips to the beach
  • fuck man like piper and percy holding annabeth by either hand while she’s trying to get up on the surfboard
  • she’s mad because she can’t do it but the two of them all wet in bathing suits are pretty damn persuasive so she lets them teach her
  • s’more kisses at the campfire… fuck
  • making a big deal of decorating their house for christmas, blasting carols and wearing christmas sweaters,,
  • H A L L O W E E N oh my god they host the sickest halloween party in new athens every year
  • and they always coordinate their costumes and it’s like a big surprise over what they’re going to be, sometimes they need a fourth and it’s always a big debate over who gets to be in on it, or sometimes one of them will agree to take a year off in order to maintain their status as the bes (think of the possibilities…. meg and hercules, poison ivy and harley quinn, the incredibles, the ghostbusters,the mystery gang, any combo of superheroes tbh)
The signs as relatable Sebastien Lefebvre tweets
  • ARIES: That yodelling bear has my baby dancing
  • TAURUS: Overdue for an adventure.
  • GEMINI: Just got vomited on. PS: reruns aren't so bad
  • CANCER: I do not spend enough time without clothes on
  • LEO: Old dumb life, brand new attitude. #MotivationMonday
  • VIRGO: The awkward dilemma of uncomfortable good looking pants...
  • LIBRA: Explain to me how when a bug is about to die it uses its last energy to flip over.
  • SCORPIO: Saturday. I might get a smaller amount of emails today.
  • SAGITTARIUS: The hot water in coffee machines always tastes like coffee. Probably cuz I'm the only one that drinks water from a coffee machine. I'm smart
  • CAPRICORN: The thing about tank tops is that I feel kind of insecure about exposing my armpit hair to the world like that. I'm weird.
  • AQUARIUS: Favorite karaoke moment: falsetto part in "take on me".
  • PISCES: This evening needs popcorn.
Piper Finds Out-Fucking Aphrodite She's Scarred for Life

Answer to the prompt “Valdangelo: Someone walking in on them” because apparently im a piece of shit who cant be a decent human being and answer these prompts in order, I promise I eventually will do them all.

Where are Leo and Nico?“ Annabeth asked suddenly, looking around the camp counselor room.

Jason and Percy, along with all the other camp concealers all shrugged, Annabeth glared at them. "Well we cant go on with the meeting without them,” she said, rolling her eyes when none of them made a move.

Percy groaned and laid his torso out on the ping pong table. “I’m tired!” he complained. “Jason you go get them.”

“I’m comfortable, you go get them.” Jason responded, leaning back in his chair.

“I had training all day, you get them!” Percy whined.

“So did I! I was up before you where, you go get them!”

“It was your choose to get up at the crack of the sky’s ass Grace, i mean really w-

"Oh for the gods sakes!” Piper said, getting to her feet in annoyance, nearing sending her chair flying. “It’ll go get them you big babies.”

Percy and Jason continued to glare at one another, looking unfazed. Piper and Annabeth shared an exasperated look before the daughter of Aphrodite headed for the door. Conner and Travis were making a bet about who would wind the glare off between the two demigods, Katie was trying to reel her boyfriend in, looking exasperated. Gods, sometimes she felt so bad for all the girls, including herself. Boys were just so stupid sometimes.

Piper mad her way across the grounds of the dark camp, grumbling about her boyfriend. She went to the Hephaestus cabin and poked her head in, most of the kids were sitting on the floor, headphones in and tinkering away at little inventions, all except for Jake, who sat up on his bandaged shoulders when he saw her.

“Something wrong?” he asked her, frowning.

“Nah, have you seen your brother?” Piper asked.

“Which one?” Jake said, letting out a low chuckle.

“The stupid one.”

“Still need to narrow it down I’m afraid.”

several pieces of metal got thrown at the bandaged boy halfheartedly.

“Leo.” she confirmed, a slow smile growing on her lips. Besides Leo, Jake was definitely her favorite Hephaestus kid, she almost wished she had more time to hang around.

Jake shrugged. “Hey!” he called. “Any of you idiots seen Valdez?”

Nyssa looked up slightly from her tinkering. “Saw him going into thirteen.”

Piper frowned. What was Leo doing in the Hades cabin?

“Um….thanks Nyssa, I’ll go check it out. See you guys later.”

she got a few halfhearted waves from Leo’s siblings, she smiled affectionately, closing the door behind her tightly. She walked threw the rest of camp and began walking up the front steps of the hades cabin, wondering why Leo was in Hades’ cabin.

She stopped abruptly on the porch, her hand out to grab the door handle. What exactly was making noises like a fucking kitten in there? She frowned and opened the unlocked door.

“Hey Leo are you-”

Piper choked on her own breath, to shocked to even try to look away.

Leo had Nico’s back pressed up against the head board, his fingers leaving bruises on the boys grayish white hips, lips biting and wet, Nico’s legs were clamped tightly around Leo’s hips, his hands clawing at the Hispanic’s tanned back, making inhuman, high pitched, kitten like noises. Their hair was tousled, their cheeks were pink, lips bright red. Leo was thrusting into Nico, sloppy and eager, Nico pushed back towards him, breathless and impatient for contact.

She screamed before she could stop herself.

“FUCKING GODS!” Leo screamed, he grabbed the blanket from the end of the bed and threw it over his hips and Nico’s naked, flushed body. “Piper what the fuck!”

Piper’s hands flew up to cover her eyes. “You didn’t come to the meeting!” she squealed.

“Fuck that was today?” Leo muttered. “Fuck-Pipes, what the fuck-dont you know how to knock?” he demanded.


“Does it even matter-shit-Nico stop your gonna fall—godsdammit idiot here’s my shirt, put it on—does it really matter who I’m fucking?”

“Of course it doesn’t, I just didn’t think you where-”

“Into di Angelo?”

“Well it looks like you were a little bit to into him.” Piper grumbled.

Leo laughed good naturedly. “Okay you can open your eyes.”

Piper opened her eyes to see Nico in a white button up, tucked under the blankets, a pillow covering his blushing face, Leo sat on the edge of the bed, his pants hanging loose on his hips, suspenders hanging on his naked shoulders.

“How-how?” Piper babbled, not able to form correct sentences.

Leo smiled, slipping on his shoes. He got up from the bed and walked over to her. “Come with me, I’ll uh….explain everything.”

“Right, yeah, okay, explaining.” Piper muttered, following him out of the porch.

“Be right back baby, don’t get dressed.” Leo said, head ducked into the room before closing the cabin door.

Leo interlocked his and Pipers arms and walked them down the steps.

“Now where shall i start my heroic horny tale?”

VIXX React - Fixing Their Favorite Pair of Ripped Clothes (shirts, pants, etc.)

Okie Dokie!!! Here we go~!



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(stares at you lovingly while you fix the buttons on his shirt) Now it’s my favorite shirt cause it has the buttons that you fixed.



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Hyuk: “Woah, baby~ You’re like the perfect wife~” (aegyo reward, the best kind of reward)



Ken: “Look at my little wifey who can sew like a pro~ She’s the best wifey eva~!”

You: “Did you bug Leo and rip your pants while running away again?”

Ken: “…. yup.”



You: “But how did it rip right here…”

Leo: “Please. Don’t ask…”



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You: “They keep ripping in the same place cause they’re so tight… maybe we need to get you a bigger pair of pants…”

N: “Excuse you”



You: “Okay I’m done!”

Ravi: “Woah babe! It looks brand new! You rock!!!”